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If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...

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LIF Infant

Member since 4/18

54 total posts


Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...

Posted by ChilisWife

We would move if it weren't for family. Most of the people I know that moved off LI (with and without kids) absolutely LOVE where they moved to and are happy, but honestly they did not have much or any family here. We have a huge family and I definitely want my kids to see them all more than a couple of times per year. Also, having family support when you have kids has been vital to us since DH and I both work full time.

This will be unpopular but I am one of those people that feel like if YOU move away, then YOU should be the one coming back most of the time to visit. I am not going to schlep my family across the country for holidays because you decided to move.

I agree. I get why people move, especially when following a job opportunity (otherwise, moving off LI won't magically make you rich) - but be realistic and do it without expecting people to visit. My sister is in NC and I feel guilty when I use my PTO to do a "real" vacation instead of visiting her & my nephew. And there will be a time when I have my own kids and I have no idea how often I'd make the trip. Holidays have sucked, too, because I have to decide between my SO and his family & my sister/my family.

Support system is a big thing, too. My sister struggled with child care & had to stay home. Her in-laws are finally going down there, so that should help - but it was eye opening for me.

I'm going to do my best to stay here and be close to family & the things I love about LI - but again, I get why people leave. I really wish I was more willing to, lol

Posted 5/17/18 7:56 AM
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LIF Infant

Member since 4/10

283 total posts


Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...

Message edited 7/14/2018 9:27:52 PM.

Posted 5/17/18 1:57 PM


Member since 9/06

11483 total posts


Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...

When challenges in our lives associated to Long Island, our tiny home, our commute, our finances etc. came up, my husband and I would say "When we retire..." and list the ways it would be better.

Then we'd say "When we retire to the south" then "When we retire to North Carolina" then finally one day my husband said, "Why are we waiting until we retire?"

As the years have gone on, we are not as close to my siblings. Like someone else mentioned, trips were usually made one-way and it was usually us making the effort. Our nieces and nephews are older now, going away to college, and not coming back to Long Island.

So we researched areas we could get jobs in our fields and Raleigh kept coming up. We kept visiting and visiting. When we found out my husband could keep his NY job working remotely, that sealed the deal.

My parents (snowbirds) were upset but totally understood. My best friend was the most upset, but we keep in touch. It's different, for sure, and we don't get together in person as much of course. But we look forward to visiting each other in the future.

We are in Raleigh for 9 months now and I'm still finding new reasons to be happy we made the move. It was scary at first, challenging too, but once we sold our home, a weight was lifted.

I'd just say this... Don't move because of the bad stuff in NY. That was initially why we looked into it, but we found positive things that were the turning point for us. If you just look to escape anywhere cheaper, you may not find a good fit. Unrealistic expectations are the #1 thing transplants in this area are unhappy about. Make sure your move is right for you. Chat Icon

Posted 5/17/18 5:38 PM

LIF Adult

Member since 1/12

2743 total posts


If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...

We moved last July from LI to SC. No family, no friends here. We took the plunge bc my husband was working 70 hours a week and we could still never afford the house we wanted. We'd be stuck in a fixer upper we couldn't afford to fix. I ultimately wasn't worried about what people thought, I was thinking about my family's future. We saved our money and bought our first house in August 2016, moved in with my parents and saved more money, moved here last July , no jobs. My husband found a great job and I am working part time. He went from 70 hrs a week, miserable, to 40 hours and he is a whole new man. Our lives have improved drastically. It was the best thing we've ever done.
My mother in law just bought a house around the block and plans on moving down next uear. My mom is coming down for a few months and plans on moving here next year now as well.

I say do it! NY will chew you up and spit you out!

Posted 5/17/18 6:54 PM

Life is Good!

Member since 7/07

7979 total posts


If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...

Everyone else has done it but us. Almost all of our cousins live all over the country. One of my cousins has lived in seven states because every time he would get promoted he, his wife, and three children would have to relocate. My grandmother and uncle and aunt moved to Florida (we wound up buying my grandmother's house). My parents bought a vacation home out of state and intend to retire there. We were considering it, but DH works in a very specialized field and would not make money unless he is near one of three major cities, NYC being one of them.

I miss my grandmother a lot. But the house became too much for her. Like, she was sitting in the dark because she couldn't change the light bulbs (She was still mowing her lawn though!). We visit, she visits us.

Just do what's best for you. No one else is paying your bills or raising your family.

Message edited 5/17/2018 8:42:32 PM.

Posted 5/17/18 8:41 PM

Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts


If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...

I think it will depend on how dependent you are in family. I have always lived somewhere else from my family. DH on the other hand has always lived close. I would pick up and move anywhere tomorrow but he would have issues. Even though he says he’d be fine. I moved around a bunch as a child and an adult so I see it always as a new adventure and nothin is ever permanent

Posted 5/18/18 6:56 AM

LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/07

796 total posts


Message edited 7/10/2020 4:00:47 PM.

Posted 5/18/18 2:51 PM

LIF Adult

Member since 1/17

2249 total posts


Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...

I haven't personally but cousins of mine have moved from LI to TX, and some cousins to SC. Mainly for quality of life. They are able to afford much more there than they would up here. They love it there and won't come back. I know my one cousin in a particular has made friends down there that she is close to which helps since family is so far away.

Posted 5/18/18 2:58 PM

My greatest joy is my baby boy

Member since 1/07

2772 total posts


Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...

I moved off LI and down to South Florida 18 months ago. I can understand your feelings SO well. The decision itself to move wasn't the hardest, by far. It was just telling F+F and then leaving them all that was. What I can tell you is that after I blurted it out, they embraced us, loved us and while they shed a tear, they supported us. We are so much closer in some ways because of that experience. Between visits back to LI and them visiting us, we see eachother enough that it's bearable and we have such a more fulfilling life now that our F+F see it in our faces. I wish you peace with your decision and if you decide to do it, know that those that truly love you will be okay.

In the end, you have one life to live - make it a happy one!

Message edited 5/21/2018 5:07:29 PM.

Posted 5/21/18 5:04 PM

Love to Bake!

Member since 7/06

27915 total posts


Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...

Posted by FTM427

What ultimately was your biggest deciding factor? And did your friends/family understand your reasons for moving? We really want to move but are having a hard time at the thought of leaving family & friends....and can’t decide if we should just stay even though there are many reasons we dislike living here.

We've been trying to move off of the island for the last year. Our biggest deciding factors in wanting to move are:

1) Better job opportunities and ability for career growth for DH

2) Wanting to give our kids a different life experience and expose them to other places and people

3) Absolutely sick and tired of LI...........the taxes, the overcrowding, the traffic, the inability to ever get off of the island easily, the people, etc

DH and I moved to FL (after college) and while it was exciting and fun, I did miss family a lot and the FL heat was NOT for me. However, in the last 17 years since we moved back to NY many, MANY things have changed with our families, friends, etc. and our ties here are not as strong anymore. I also think it will be an easier adjustment moving WITH kids as there will be a better opportunity to meet new people through the school and community.

Ultimately, we have decided that we need to do what is in the best interest of us and our two children. We've been looking into other areas where we want to be and the quality of life, the opportunities available to the kids, and what you get for your money are just amazing and every time we come back from one of those trips, we hate it here a little more. I feel like LI has changed so much over the years and while we had a great upbringing here, I want something different (and better) for our kids and ourselves.

We'll miss people, of course, but we're looking in the New England area so it's not too far where we can't visit and in the end, up there has EVERYTHING we're looking for and more. That is SO much more appealing than staying here keeping life status quo. We're ready for the change and ready for the adventure, fingers are crossed that DH finds the right job opportunity soon and then we'll be packing our bags!Chat Icon

Posted 5/21/18 5:11 PM
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