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Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

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bookworm
Two Little Rosebuds

Member since 8/09

2106 total posts

Name:

Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

I'm really struggling with my dog, y'all.

* Since having our twins in March, there is no time for her. I used to run with her routinely, but now I have to take the kids with me in order to make time for that. Since I live on a residential street between two major thoroughfares, there isn't really a safe place to walk them close to home. There have been multiple pedestrian fatalities in recent years on the northern thoroughfare, and when I walk them on the road to the south, 9 million jackholes coast out of strip mall aprons without looking and have almost hit us. There is no safe crosswalk or light to get across into the larger residential neighborhood. I basically have to pack them up in the car to walk, and there just isn't room for the dog, the double stroller, and both car seats. So the dog is acting out in a number of ways because she doesn't get enough exercise/attention, which I deal with all day instead of being at work, and I go back and forth between feeling terribly sorry for her and wanting to wring her neck.

* The kids are getting super close to crawling. We do not have a play room, so we are going to have to childproof and gate off our living room and dining room for them. We have hardwood floors and an area rug that is already full of dander/hair. The kids are already pretty sneezy. I can shampoo and vacuum regularly and have ppl take off their shoes to keep that area baby-clean, but that means cordoning the dog out of the family area and exacerbating the first problem. To make matters worse, she is a large dog with no self-awareness, and when I have had her with us while supervising play time on the floor, she has almost stepped on them a few times. I had to block her with my body and push her out of the way...so also a safety issue.

Help! How did you handle your dogs when the babies came along?

Posted 10/24/17 9:29 AM
 
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starbrightgirl8
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/16

537 total posts

Name:

Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

That's hard. Could you maybe send her to doggy daycare 2-3 times a week to get her energy out?

With my first DS, I used an ergo to carry the baby and walk the dog, but once he outgrew the carrier, it became too hard to manage the dog and a stroller, so the walks stopped. Obviously with two babies, a carrier is not an option, so that's not helpful advice. Also, I was lucky that we had two dogs at the time, so they ran around the yard and tired each other out, but if you're having a hard time with the one dog, I wouldn't recommend getting a second at this point.

As far as crawling, one of our dogs was a little oblivious about the baby and also wanted to smother him with love, so we had a fence to keep the dogs out of the living room/crawling area, but we were able to set it up so the dogs bed could still see into the living room so they could still be near us.

It sounds like if you just find some way to get the dog's energy out, then it will be easier. And also keep in mind that this is a limited phase and to have supervised play time with the dog so she learns how to interact with the kids.

Posted 10/24/17 9:57 AM
 

thewinterone
You make me happy

Member since 5/05

2450 total posts

Name:
cause you are gray.

Re: Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

Hire a dog walker or use a dog day care center.

Posted 10/24/17 10:28 AM
 

bookworm
Two Little Rosebuds

Member since 8/09

2106 total posts

Name:

Re: Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

Posted by thewinterone

Hire a dog walker or use a dog day care center.



In an ideal world, sure. I am home unpaid while also paying what amounts to a 2nd mortgage payment in health benefits come January, so the budget is tight. There's no room for that.

Posted 10/24/17 10:43 AM
 

JennZ
MY LIFE!!

Member since 8/05

25463 total posts

Name:

Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

I think you habe to make it a point of making time. do you have a yard? play fetch while kids are napping. bring the monitor and go outside. Im a firm beleiver in kids will adjust to Your life. I never gated anything and kept our house as it was. I think you need to find a rhythm that works with you all. please don't give up, otherwise it will be another dog who gets the boot because of kids.

Posted 10/24/17 10:51 AM
 

BlueDiamonds
mommy to 3 boys

Member since 2/07

3885 total posts

Name:
proud mommy

Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

do you have yard space to build a dog run?

Posted 10/24/17 10:53 AM
 

LiveItUp
Love my babies!

Member since 8/11

4096 total posts

Name:

Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

We had to gate off a section of our kitchen for the dog. It was big enough for her bed, food and some room to walk around a little. She was not allowed in carpeted areas or on furniture, but that was our rule since we got her, long before kids, so she was used to that. Unfortunately, sometimes circumstances change for the worse a little for a pet when a baby is born because they have to share the living space and your time/attention, similar to how an older sibling has to adjust to sharing those things when a new baby is born. In time, it might get better, but you may have to make a point to get the dog some form of exercise, even if it means cramming into the car to go on a walk. Or can your dh walk the dog when he gets home or before work?

Posted 10/24/17 11:01 AM
 

tray831
Dee-licious!

Member since 3/06

5355 total posts

Name:
His Baby

Re: Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies


Do you have a gated yard?

What about you or DH taking turns outside; throwing ball; playing catch, just running around, giving her attention, etc.

The twins are new to her as well; she technically doesnt know how to act either most especially since her attention has been diminished. I get it can be frustrating and overwhelming at times; but for sure, she is craving attention and exercise.

Can you allot some time for just her while the twins are napping or maybe while they are spending time with DH and you can play with her; or vice versa? She was used to being the only one for so long.......so you can understand what she may be going thru as well.

You have to remember, this stage is all temporary. I bet it will get better. Now just happens to be overwhelming with EVERYTHING.




Posted 10/24/17 11:21 AM
 

tray831
Dee-licious!

Member since 3/06

5355 total posts

Name:
His Baby

Re: Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

Posted by JennZ

I think you habe to make it a point of making time. do you have a yard? play fetch while kids are napping. bring the monitor and go outside. Im a firm beleiver in kids will adjust to Your life. I never gated anything and kept our house as it was. I think you need to find a rhythm that works with you all. please don't give up, otherwise it will be another dog who gets the boot because of kids.



Totally agree with all of this.

Posted 10/24/17 11:22 AM
 

lilqtny
-Crossfit & pitbull addict

Member since 7/06

2830 total posts

Name:
Tracy

Re: Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

Posted by JennZ

I think you habe to make it a point of making time. do you have a yard? play fetch while kids are napping. bring the monitor and go outside. Im a firm beleiver in kids will adjust to Your life. I never gated anything and kept our house as it was. I think you need to find a rhythm that works with you all. please don't give up, otherwise it will be another dog who gets the boot because of kids.




This * 100000000000000000000000000

Posted 10/24/17 1:20 PM
 

bookworm
Two Little Rosebuds

Member since 8/09

2106 total posts

Name:

Re: Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

It's good to be reminded that this stage is fleeting, and some of the issues will be alleviated when they are bigger/less fragile and walking.

As far as 'making time' - I'm feeling a little sensitive about the tone of some of these posts. I am not able to consistently make time to shower every day. One of my twins gets PT twice a week and feeding therapy once a week because of a significant milk protein allergy and a subsequent feeding aversion, which means I spend a TON of time wrestling formula into her so she gains appropriately. Both have reflux, which necessitates tons of laundry. Now that we are on solids, one will only tolerate very smooth purees while the other will not tolerate the spoon and needs table food prepared separate from her sister so we can take the baby-led weaning approach. When I am able to clean myself regularly and feed myself reasonably healthy food (as opposed to take-out and snacks) I will make time for the dog. I am not lacking in compassion for her situation (hence this post and my endeavor to puzzle out a solution so that she is not isolated and bored) but this is a humans-first household.

We do have a fenced area for her in the yard with what was once a shed and is now a large dog house. It's about 10'x25'. However, she doesn't run or play much when she's out there, mostly lays around. We have a large piece of property for her to roam, but her time has been limited out there because she's been really destructive and even managed to dig herself under the fence a few days ago - scary when living so close to busy roads.

I do have a play pen that is designed for outdoors so while the weather is temperate, I can make a habit of bringing the babies out there so I can play fetch with her. I do fear, however, that this will get worse when winter hits.

Posted 10/24/17 3:19 PM
 

starbrightgirl8
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/16

537 total posts

Name:

Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

Do you have any friends or neighbors with dogs that you could invite over for a play date? I know dogs don't run around much on their own, but another dog could help her get some energy out, while you're still at home with the babies (and you'd also get a socializing opportunity too).

Posted 10/24/17 3:43 PM
 

LiveForMoments
LIF Adult

Member since 10/10

2418 total posts

Name:

Re: Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

I feel your pain...well half your pain, I don't have twins.

Everything is a phase, and I totally get why you feel overwhelmed by the dog at the moment, and you're allowed to feel this way. Some of the people that replied don't even have ONE kid, let alone TWINS, don't take the comments to heart. I love my dog, but I love my kids more, and they come first - every.single.time - go ahead people, flame away!

It's going to be ok, the dog will get used to the kids moving, and the kids will get used to the dog being there. Everyone is learning, and everyone will figure it out. In the meantime, be frustrated, vent, drink a glass a wine - get by however you can until it gets easier, because it will.

Posted 10/24/17 5:04 PM
 

SLPRunner
LIF Adult

Member since 12/13

1100 total posts

Name:

Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

I had some problems with my already high strung dog acting due to lack of attention and exercise. I work full time as well. I know it's hard but even a few minutes of throwing a ball to your dog would help a bit. It may help to consult with a dog trainer. They may be able to help you problem solve and figure out some solutions. I worked with a wonderful that was very aware of our limited time and helped us figure out things that wouldn't take that much time but helped our situation.

Posted 10/24/17 5:12 PM
 

DWKS810
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/09

554 total posts

Name:

Re: Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

Listen - it's okay.

It's okay that you don't have a great solution right now. It's great that you are really trying to make it all work, that you are overwhelmed by the kids and all their needs and realizing you don't even get a minute of "me" time and you are trying to do right by your pet.

It's okay that you are struggling - it's very hard to handle a baby that age, let alone two babies and a dog. And I've been there with the therapy and everything, and it gets to feel like you can't handle everything.

This time in your life will pass. The dog will get to know the kids and they will all learn to live together in each other's space. Your dog may get less attention, but everybody has to adapt when babies join the family. Your dog will still be happy to have a role to play. In an ideal world you could hire a dog walker, try doggie daycare, work out logistics so you can go on more walks, but that's not always financially feasible. And that's okay. Your dog is much better off with you, with less walks, than in a shelter somewhere.

Try to play with the dog outside more, and maybe work in more walks on a weekly, rather than daily, basis. Commit to a Saturday morning walk and a Wednesday night walk, for example. Replace some of the activity you used to do with cuddle time while you unwind and watch tv at night, or something like that. And just hang in there and know that in a few months this constant feeling of stress will not be there and you will figure out a way to make things more manageable. One day, your kids will be bigger and will love your dog, you will spend time with the kids playing with your dog in the yard and this will have just been a tough phase. Just keep doing the best you can and before you know it things will be easier.

Message edited 10/24/2017 5:29:58 PM.

Posted 10/24/17 5:28 PM
 

thewinterone
You make me happy

Member since 5/05

2450 total posts

Name:
cause you are gray.

Re: Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

Posted by bookworm

Posted by thewinterone

Hire a dog walker or use a dog day care center.



In an ideal world, sure. I am home unpaid while also paying what amounts to a 2nd mortgage payment in health benefits come January, so the budget is tight. There's no room for that.



Are there any tween or teen kids in the neighborhood around to play with the dog?
Do you have a partner/spouse, if so, what are they doing to help?

Posted 10/24/17 6:11 PM
 

jlm2008
LIF Adult

Member since 1/10

5092 total posts

Name:

Re: Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

Posted by JennZ

I think you habe to make it a point of making time. do you have a yard? play fetch while kids are napping. bring the monitor and go outside. Im a firm beleiver in kids will adjust to Your life. I never gated anything and kept our house as it was. I think you need to find a rhythm that works with you all. please don't give up, otherwise it will be another dog who gets the boot because of kids.



ITA

Posted 10/24/17 6:29 PM
 

bookworm
Two Little Rosebuds

Member since 8/09

2106 total posts

Name:

Re: Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

Posted by DWKS810

Listen - it's okay.

It's okay that you don't have a great solution right now. It's great that you are really trying to make it all work, that you are overwhelmed by the kids and all their needs and realizing you don't even get a minute of "me" time and you are trying to do right by your pet.

It's okay that you are struggling - it's very hard to handle a baby that age, let alone two babies and a dog. And I've been there with the therapy and everything, and it gets to feel like you can't handle everything.

This time in your life will pass. The dog will get to know the kids and they will all learn to live together in each other's space. Your dog may get less attention, but everybody has to adapt when babies join the family. Your dog will still be happy to have a role to play. In an ideal world you could hire a dog walker, try doggie daycare, work out logistics so you can go on more walks, but that's not always financially feasible. And that's okay. Your dog is much better off with you, with less walks, than in a shelter somewhere.

Try to play with the dog outside more, and maybe work in more walks on a weekly, rather than daily, basis. Commit to a Saturday morning walk and a Wednesday night walk, for example. Replace some of the activity you used to do with cuddle time while you unwind and watch tv at night, or something like that. And just hang in there and know that in a few months this constant feeling of stress will not be there and you will figure out a way to make things more manageable. One day, your kids will be bigger and will love your dog, you will spend time with the kids playing with your dog in the yard and this will have just been a tough phase. Just keep doing the best you can and before you know it things will be easier.



Thank you Chat Icon I need to figure out how to get them all in my SUV. That would be a game-changer.

Posted 10/24/17 6:59 PM
 

jellybean78
:)

Member since 8/06

13090 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

Posted by lilqtny

Posted by JennZ

I think you habe to make it a point of making time. do you have a yard? play fetch while kids are napping. bring the monitor and go outside. Im a firm beleiver in kids will adjust to Your life. I never gated anything and kept our house as it was. I think you need to find a rhythm that works with you all. please don't give up, otherwise it will be another dog who gets the boot because of kids.




This * 100000000000000000000000000




Agree. For now when kids are still little exercise her in the yard. Chew toys new toys fetch etc. It gets easier as the kids get older. You can pack them in a car and go to the dog park and everyone can run around and let the steam out once a week or so.

If you can swing it once or twice a month do a doggie play date. They run about $25-30 and are worth every penny.

We have an 18month old and 9 month old. Nothing is gated except for a small play area for the kids. Other than that our dog has free reign.

Posted 10/24/17 10:45 PM
 

Momma2015
Mommax2

Member since 12/12

6624 total posts

Name:

Re: Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

Posted by DWKS810

Listen - it's okay.

It's okay that you don't have a great solution right now. It's great that you are really trying to make it all work, that you are overwhelmed by the kids and all their needs and realizing you don't even get a minute of "me" time and you are trying to do right by your pet.

It's okay that you are struggling - it's very hard to handle a baby that age, let alone two babies and a dog. And I've been there with the therapy and everything, and it gets to feel like you can't handle everything.

This time in your life will pass. The dog will get to know the kids and they will all learn to live together in each other's space. Your dog may get less attention, but everybody has to adapt when babies join the family. Your dog will still be happy to have a role to play. In an ideal world you could hire a dog walker, try doggie daycare, work out logistics so you can go on more walks, but that's not always financially feasible. And that's okay. Your dog is much better off with you, with less walks, than in a shelter somewhere.

Try to play with the dog outside more, and maybe work in more walks on a weekly, rather than daily, basis. Commit to a Saturday morning walk and a Wednesday night walk, for example. Replace some of the activity you used to do with cuddle time while you unwind and watch tv at night, or something like that. And just hang in there and know that in a few months this constant feeling of stress will not be there and you will figure out a way to make things more manageable. One day, your kids will be bigger and will love your dog, you will spend time with the kids playing with your dog in the yard and this will have just been a tough phase. Just keep doing the best you can and before you know it things will be easier.



Soooooooo much this! Chat Icon

It's not in the cards for us to have a dog walker or doggy daycare either. But we still make do and our dogs are genuinely happy.

Posted 10/25/17 8:03 AM
 

bookworm
Two Little Rosebuds

Member since 8/09

2106 total posts

Name:

Re: Cross-Posted (Parenting): Dogs and Babies

Posted by jellybean78

Posted by lilqtny

Posted by JennZ

I think you habe to make it a point of making time. do you have a yard? play fetch while kids are napping. bring the monitor and go outside. Im a firm beleiver in kids will adjust to Your life. I never gated anything and kept our house as it was. I think you need to find a rhythm that works with you all. please don't give up, otherwise it will be another dog who gets the boot because of kids.




This * 100000000000000000000000000




Agree. For now when kids are still little exercise her in the yard. Chew toys new toys fetch etc. It gets easier as the kids get older. You can pack them in a car and go to the dog park and everyone can run around and let the steam out once a week or so.

If you can swing it once or twice a month do a doggie play date. They run about $25-30 and are worth every penny.

We have an 18month old and 9 month old. Nothing is gated except for a small play area for the kids. Other than that our dog has free reign.



I wish I could do play dates. Someone mentioned on the other thread (in Parenting) that we should consider getting a second dog: we never did this because she is seriously NOT dog-friendly, very protective and territorial, discovered after a few failed puppy play dates and incidents with other dogs in our neighborhood. She was so aggressive from puppyhood that we went through 3 different trainers and about $2000 before we got to the point that we felt confident we could keep her. I'm honestly glad that this is the worst problem I'm having with her and the kids. I was so scared she'd be rough with them, but she has turned out to be a gentle giant who just doesn't know her size. It's probably best that she is 7 years old for this phase of life instead of 2 or 3.

I think we just have to ride out an imperfect situation until spring, when we will have walking kiddos. Thanks for all the responses!

Posted 10/25/17 2:13 PM
 
 
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