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racheK
Hudson's Momma
Member since 10/10 2853 total posts
Name:
Rachel
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Both parents commuting to city?
With the recent train derailment issues in Penn and commuters not able to get home, it makes me wonder how my DH and I will continue to work in the city when we make the move to suburbs and our son is in school. How do other families do it if both parents commute to city? Is the ultimate answer a nanny that can stay with the children if need be?
I should mention that neither of us have parents or siblings in the areas we are looking to live.
We never really thought of this until the derailment yesterday and were suddenly stumped.
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Posted 4/4/17 10:18 AM  |
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Pumpkin1
LIF Adult
Member since 12/05 3715 total posts
Name:
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Both parents commuting to city?
We knew that day care would never work for us with both of us working in the city. Thus, we have an au pair who lives with us which covers us in the event of delays. Plus, we always liked the idea of our kids being cared for at home.
Message edited 4/4/2017 10:21:59 AM.
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| Posted 4/4/17 10:21 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7612 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Both parents commuting to city?
We don't live near family. If something was to happen, we now know a few families in our area and I am sure that one of them would help us out. A few of them actually go to the same daycare as us. I almost had to use this option once as my DH was traveling for work and I had car trouble.
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| Posted 4/4/17 10:22 AM |
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lightblue
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 2249 total posts
Name:
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Re: Both parents commuting to city?
I would think the easiest option is Au Pair that lives with you. Or a nanny that wouldn't mind having to stay the extra hours.
Message edited 4/4/2017 10:23:39 AM.
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| Posted 4/4/17 10:23 AM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Both parents commuting to city?
We both commuted to the city before having kids. When we had kids I became a sahm for that reason. I couldn't see both of us being so far away if something happened.
A nanny or au pair would be the best option and one that drives.
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| Posted 4/4/17 10:32 AM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: Both parents commuting to city?
i can get info for you for an au pair agency my husband's cousin used. She just got one in September and shes AWESOME. his cousins also grew up with au pairs
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| Posted 4/4/17 10:33 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Both parents commuting to city?
We did it and it was honestly not a problem. If there were train problems, one of us would leave work right away, no matter how early. Only once did we need to have my mom pick up DS and we probably would've made it on time anyway. We also have a friend who was willing to pick him up if my mom couldn't. In your scenario, I'd just have a local friend as a backup, if need be.
And honestly, it's not like the daycare will close with your child still there and abandon them. Yes, you might get charged for extra hours (or minutes) but if you're at a daycare with other commuters, then you certainly won't be the only one. Our daycare is a block from a LIRR stop so almost everyone there has at least 1 parent, if not both, who commutes to the city.
No child care situation is ideal. You'll make it work.
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| Posted 4/4/17 11:24 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Both parents commuting to city?
We don't do daycare on LI, DD is in daycare in Queens near our family. So she can stay late in an emergency, but she can also be picked up by a family member if they are available, which usually at least one of them is.
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| Posted 4/4/17 11:55 AM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Both parents commuting to city?
We do it - both of us get the 6:10 train home and pick my 5 yo DS up at 7pm every night.
We're fortunate that he is cared for after school by a neighbor so there's no issues if we're stuck late at work or by a train issue.
She has even taken him home and put him to bed on occasion when there were major issues with the trains.
Won't lie, it can be stressful but more so for us than him.
I think if you have one person you can depend on in those 'what if' situations, you'll be ok. And as others have said - sometimes one of us will leave work early if there are delays that are announced early enough. I can take the subway to Brooklyn easily and get the train from Atlantic Terminal, or one of us will take the E to Jamaica. We make it work
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| Posted 4/4/17 12:39 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Both parents commuting to city?
We both commute. DH goes in and out of Atlantic terminal and I use both Penn and Hunterspoint. We generally never both have issues. You learn to watch the notifications and leave early if need to. And we also have neighbors other parents etc that over the years have told us they would help. We rarely need it.
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| Posted 4/4/17 12:50 PM |
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Summergrl14
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/16 625 total posts
Name:
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Both parents commuting to city?
We both commute to the city and had to get an au pair. It was the only way that I can ensure someone is home with my DD at all times and I know that they don't have to be leaving at a certain time or will get stuck in bad weather, etc. My job is also very understanding of my commute and if I have to leave early to ensure I'm home it's not a problem.
She was in daycare when we lived in Brooklyn and I would have loved to continue in daycare on LI, but no center I looked at had hours that worked for us and I didn't want in her daycare for 12-13 hours a day.
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| Posted 4/4/17 12:59 PM |
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LMFitz
life is good
Member since 5/05 2013 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Both parents commuting to city?
For myself, I bolt for home when there are serious train issues. Yesterday, I headed straight to Hunterspoint for the first afternoon train....but I often take the E out to Jamaica if the problem is in the East River tunnels. I also opt for a car service if that's my best option - regardless of cost.
I do have the convenience of a nanny who has worked for me for 5+ years - - and she'd never leave me high and dry....but I also don't want to risk getting stuck in the city any longer than necessary. Thankfully, my job understands this.
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| Posted 4/4/17 1:14 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17789 total posts
Name:
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Both parents commuting to city?
My inlaws live close by and help us a lot but, they aren't always available.
At the first sign of train trouble, regardless, I head out. We found a daycare that is open until 7pm and have friends lined up to pick up the kids as well if need be. We also do the same for them (we're all in the city but, different parts, methods of transportation, schedules, etc).
ETA - due to other things (basically DS 1's activities) I'm looking to find something closer to home to avoid 2.5-3 hrs of commuting a day.
Message edited 4/4/2017 2:44:08 PM.
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| Posted 4/4/17 1:30 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Both parents commuting to city?
DH and I both commuted to the city until very recently. We have no family or friends nearby. I ultimately took a job on LI for the very purpose being relatively close by in case of an emergency though I'm still about 45 mins away from daycare).
If we had to do it over we never would have left the city. We regret it every single day. Our quality of life is in the toilet. We hate where we live, I hate my job, DH hates his commute.
So to answer your question, ultimately we could not make it work with DD in daycare never mind in school. We considered a nanny but then what? The nanny puts DD to sleep every night and we never see her? I worked on the east side. If I left at 5 on the dot I could usually make the 6:05 train. Once I got to my car and got home it was around 7. And I'm mid Nassau so not that far.
We consider our move to LI to be the biggest, most expensive mistake we've ever made. Our plan is to eventually go back to the city. I don't mean to sound dramatic, but think long and very, very hard about this before you make the leap.
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| Posted 4/4/17 2:20 PM |
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Maybe-Baybe
My Sunshine
Member since 7/12 3415 total posts
Name:
My only Sunshine
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Re: Both parents commuting to city?
Posted by LuckyStar
DH and I both commuted to the city until very recently. We have no family or friends nearby. I ultimately took a job on LI for the very purpose being relatively close by in case of an emergency though I'm still about 45 mins away from daycare).
If we had to do it over we never would have left the city. We regret it every single day. Our quality of life is in the toilet. We hate where we live, I hate my job, DH hates his commute.
So to answer your question, ultimately we could not make it work with DD in daycare never mind in school. We considered a nanny but then what? The nanny puts DD to sleep every night and we never see her? I worked on the east side. If I left at 5 on the dot I could usually make the 6:05 train. Once I got to my car and got home it was around 7. And I'm mid Nassau so not that far.
We consider our move to LI to be the biggest, most expensive mistake we've ever made. Our plan is to eventually go back to the city. I don't mean to sound dramatic, but think long and very, very hard about this before you make the leap.
And this is why I am hesitant to leave Queens for Long Island as well. Yes, we are renting now, but I feel like buying a house in the suburbs is a huge financial responsibility and DH and I wouldn't see our DC as much.
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| Posted 4/4/17 3:02 PM |
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Leb
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 4166 total posts
Name:
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Both parents commuting to city?
Growing up my parents both worked in manhattan. I had a nanny that took care of us. I don't remember a time where both were stuck but god forbid something happened I could have stayed there all might as she was a neighbor. However there were times she was sick and one of my aunts would help out. Definitely something to consider because daycares close at a set time and you would need an authorized backup for your child.
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| Posted 4/4/17 3:12 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Both parents commuting to city?
In the case of daycare or school you need a back up who can get to your child or you need a nanny.
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| Posted 4/4/17 3:13 PM |
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Sixofus
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/13 594 total posts
Name:
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Both parents commuting to city?
Is staying in the city an option? I know everyone seems to bolt for the suburbs but we stayed, even though I grew up on LI, and are very happy.
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| Posted 4/4/17 4:12 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Both parents commuting to city?
Posted by Sixofus
Is staying in the city an option? I know everyone seems to bolt for the suburbs but we stayed, even though I grew up on LI, and are very happy.
What types of jobs do you and your DH have? Are they demanding long hour type of jobs? If so I would stay in the city.
DH and I moved from the city to LI about 2 years ago. We both grew up in the city so the suburbs for us was a whole new experience. I love my house, my neighborhood and my neighbors but the commute to the city is brutal and can totally take a toll on you.
I have a pretty flexible job and I'm able to WFH at my leisure so that helps a lot. When we first moved DH had a stressful job with long hours. One year into our move he ended up taking a job on LI. He took a pay cut but his commute is 20 minutes and he's much happier.
People may think I'm crazy but for now I drive into the city with my little one. The same person who watched my oldest is also taking care of my baby and to me it's worth the commute in. I usually park my car in the lot by my job which is $24 a day..not much more than a metrocard and LIRR ticket cost. I do WFH usually at least once a week. Obviously this is temporary and I will rethink what I will do when DD2 is older and in school.
My BFF and her DH both have high stress demanding jobs and both chose to stay in the city for the convenience and don't regret it one bit. I love the city and still miss it sometimes. It's a very different lifestyle here..not bad just different.
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| Posted 4/4/17 6:03 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Both parents commuting to city?
Posted by jellybean78
It's a very different lifestyle here..not bad just different.
I think this was the biggest shock to us, after the commute- it is SO different on LI. Different in ways you would never even think of. It's hard to even put your finger on. I can only describe it as entering a bubble that everyone is afraid or complacent enough to never leave.
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| Posted 4/4/17 8:13 PM |
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racheK
Hudson's Momma
Member since 10/10 2853 total posts
Name:
Rachel
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Re: Both parents commuting to city?
Posted by LuckyStar
DH and I both commuted to the city until very recently. We have no family or friends nearby. I ultimately took a job on LI for the very purpose being relatively close by in case of an emergency though I'm still about 45 mins away from daycare).
If we had to do it over we never would have left the city. We regret it every single day. Our quality of life is in the toilet. We hate where we live, I hate my job, DH hates his commute.
So to answer your question, ultimately we could not make it work with DD in daycare never mind in school. We considered a nanny but then what? The nanny puts DD to sleep every night and we never see her? I worked on the east side. If I left at 5 on the dot I could usually make the 6:05 train. Once I got to my car and got home it was around 7. And I'm mid Nassau so not that far.
We consider our move to LI to be the biggest, most expensive mistake we've ever made. Our plan is to eventually go back to the city. I don't mean to sound dramatic, but think long and very, very hard about this before you make the leap.
Thank you for this. This is definitely one of my fears. We actually just ran into a couple we know that just moved back to the city for the reasons you listed.
We both love the city so much, I've been here 15 years. We feel we are tossing money into the toilet though as we pay so much for a Junior 4 rental apartment and won't be able to afford to buy a decent sized apartment here, though we can afford a nice house outside the city. And then there is dealing with sending our son to school in the city, the whole process overwhelms me.
I will say, we aren't in love with any area that we've looked at, whether it's LI, Westchester or NJ. So if we don't fall in love with any area, we aren't moving :)
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| Posted 4/4/17 8:49 PM |
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racheK
Hudson's Momma
Member since 10/10 2853 total posts
Name:
Rachel
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Re: Both parents commuting to city?
Posted by jellybean78
Posted by Sixofus
Is staying in the city an option? I know everyone seems to bolt for the suburbs but we stayed, even though I grew up on LI, and are very happy.
What types of jobs do you and your DH have? Are they demanding long hour type of jobs? If so I would stay in the city.
I'm a CPA at a consulting firm and my husband works in finance. We both have decent flexibility (when our son is sick, etc.) but have long hours at times, especially if I'm on project deadline. I do WFH once in awhile but at least for me now, it's not easy to do so because we just don't have a great set up in our apartment. I do believe that if we had a home office in a house, I could WFH more often.
If my work did pick up again (I left my last firm because I was working/traveling more than I liked), it would be very frustrating commuting.
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| Posted 4/4/17 8:55 PM |
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racheK
Hudson's Momma
Member since 10/10 2853 total posts
Name:
Rachel
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Re: Both parents commuting to city?
Posted by Sixofus
Is staying in the city an option? I know everyone seems to bolt for the suburbs but we stayed, even though I grew up on LI, and are very happy.
Can I ask where you live with multiple kids? We are good right now with just 1 but can't even think of 2 in the city right now....
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| Posted 4/4/17 8:56 PM |
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klsnyc805
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/09 578 total posts
Name:
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Re: Both parents commuting to city?
We both commute on the LIRR to the city and have a nanny. She's very understanding and flexible when there are train issues/delays, happens every other week or so.
Unfortunately daycare options in our town would not work with our commute.
We lived in the city for 10+ years but have been in the burbs now for almost 3, and like the change despite the commute. We can both work from home when we need to and that helps.
I know ppl who have rented in our town for a year to see if they like it. A few people moved back (to Brooklyn). It's definitely a personal preference!
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| Posted 4/4/17 10:06 PM |
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Sixofus
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/13 594 total posts
Name:
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Re: Both parents commuting to city?
Posted by racheK
Posted by Sixofus
Is staying in the city an option? I know everyone seems to bolt for the suburbs but we stayed, even though I grew up on LI, and are very happy.
Can I ask where you live with multiple kids? We are good right now with just 1 but can't even think of 2 in the city right now....
We are on the upper east side. We have been in our apartment for 9 years; 3 years ago we bought the studio next door and combined. It is tight, especially with 4dc, but we make it work-i throw a lot out. I just love our neighborhood and my lifestyle here. I hate driving so I love being able to walk everywhere.If it snows, nothing to worry about- building staff shovel. I work pt but dh works long hours yet he can still pop into school for a conference or to watch a game, then go back to work. Dc are in catholic school but I have friends very happy in public. Happy to chat more if you want to pm.
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| Posted 4/5/17 11:55 AM |
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