Parents of an only child

Do you ever feel that you are depriving your kid by not giving them a sibling? Does your child ever question being an only child? Looking for pros and cons

Parents of an only child

My DH is an only. He says growing up he didn't feel too deprived. Mostly when it came to family vacations and there were no other kids for him to interact with- he got bored. But he says that now as an adult he wishes he had had that experience of growing up with a sibling.
We had one son who is 6, adopted from Korea. And we're actually in Korea right now adopting a younger brother for him we just wanted him to have a sibling, and felt really strongly about it. So far, it's been so great watching them together! To me, you can't beat the sibling relationship!

Parents of an only child

My ds is 5. He will sometimes ask but not much. He's fine. He doesn't know any different so to me why would he not be ok. And believe me there were plenty of times in my life I wished I was an only child so just because they are siblings does not make it automatically great!

Re: Parents of an only child

Whenever i ask my DD if she would have liked a sister or a brother her answer is a very fast, very firm, NO!
I feel like she does not want to share us, our attention, and her toys etc with anyone.
I'm super fine with that!

Parents of an only child

My DD is almost 5 and has just started asking for a baby brother. I do feel a little bad, but she has a cousin (they're very close in age) who she sees all the time, so that makes me feel better.

Parents of an only child

I think whether kids have siblings or not they are always going to want the opposite. I have half siblings who are much older than me and I didn't grow up with them. My parents usually let me invite a friend when we went on trips and such but I never felt like I was missing out on anything and I was very close to both my parents.

Dd was going to be an only child but after a couple of big things happened on our life we decided to go ahead and have another.

Re: Parents of an only child

I only have one DS right now and we're not sure if we will have another. I worry about him being bored on trips and things like that if he is an only child. I don't want to have to always bring a friend on family vacations so he has a kid to play with. I think that would be so awkward with hotel rooms and money issues.

Parents of an only child

My 7 yo has occasionally said that he wishes he had a brother. It bums me out some (especially since I like having a brother as an adult), but then I go to a playdate where there are siblings fighting all the time and I don't think I have the patience to deal with more than one hard-headed kid.

Parents of an only child

I have one dd who is almost 5... she does ask sometimes, but I remind her how a baby would eat all her toys and then she's ok with being an only I don't think she is being deprived... if anything, she is given MORE than she would be given had she had a sibling.... and she knows this. I know of many adults who have siblings and they can't stand one another so there's no guarantee they will even get along.

Re: Parents of an only child

As a PP said... no matter what you have you always want the opposite. I grew up with 2 other older siblings and sometimes wished I was an only.
Other times I am happy to have them. My mom was an only child and her fav saying is "only child, but not the favorite."
She has a goo sense of humor about it. Although maybe that's why she wanted 3. My sister has 6 kids and when we go over there my boys love it bc there's so many kids to play with. I have two boys and done. They are really good for each other. They always have someone to play with.

Re: Parents of an only child

I am the first born child, and my siblings are six and nine years younger than me. I did not have cousins either and it was really lonely. I like having siblings, but I will be honest, we are not close. I think it is a function of age, and that I have two brothers. They are much closer to one another because they are close in age and both boys. By the time they were really able to play I was a teen and then in college. So by the time they were growing up I was not living with them. So if you are going to have kids four years is really the biggest age gap I would want. Otherwise what ends up happening is they have nothing in common, especially if they are opposite sex siblings.

Parents of an only child

We only have our DD and don't plan to have another. I have a sibling who is much older than me and we are not close and the same happened to my DH with his sibling. So whether or not they have siblings or not doesn't mean they will be best buds forever. I think having another kid should be a choice you make for yourself because the child you have now will be fine with or without one. Currently y daughter is in so many activities and will have tons of friends from that so i don't think she will miss out on a brother or sister.

Re: Parents of an only child

I am an only child and so is my DH. I didn't feel deprived as a child and neither did he (and we both grew up very differently). On the contrary, there's so much more parents can do when it's only one, and so much more time. On trips, my parents always brought a friend, sometimes 2 if they were siblings, so I would have someone to share the experience with. Another poster mentioned money - it was always a road trip when we brought someone and we'd be in the same hotel room so money didn't factor in there. Additional costs were food and entrance fees but my parents paid those as it's not like the person asked to come along, my parents invited them.

I have 2 DS now but after my first was born, I strongly considered him being an only child. Waited almost 4 years to have our 2nd. I would have been fine with it.

Only children, because they are onlies, tend to share certain positive characteristics. I see it in both myself and my DH. My DH's best friend is an only and he and his wife (she's one of 3) have only one child. I'm not sure why people assume it's such a bad thing or an issue.

Parents of an only child

DS is an only. He is 5 1/2. I would love to have another but I don't think it is in the cards.
He asks me all the time for a sister. He tells me he is so bored and he wishes he had a brother. He is not a kid who can entertain or play by himself and there are zero kids in our immediate neighborhood. It's stressful because especially on Saturday's I have to be his 24/7 entertainment.
There is a 16 year gap between my brother and I. I swore I would never have an only child. I hated growing up that way. At this point I don't know if a sibling would help our situation.

Parents of an only child

To me, the only potential pro to having a second would be giving DD a sibling. And that could backfire because they could hate each other.

Neither DH nor I want another child. We're at the end of our rope with one and can't spend as much time with her as we'd like. We know our limits and I cannot justify gestating, giving birth to, and then raising a human being just to give DD a playmate.

Re: Parents of an only child

I'm so in between on this one. The pros would be I feel I can devote my full attention to my daughter. She is 4. We aren't pulled in different directions either with activities. Even though she is an only child she is very close to her cousins and they are really like her sisters. But I feel bad when they go home and she has no one but us at home to play with, or Christmas morning she has no siblings to get excited with, or the fact that when we get older, she won't have a sibling to rely on. I do however feel like out family is complete. I don't feel like a part of me is missing it's one child.

Parents of an only child

I have my DD.. if it weren't for the fact it took me 10 years to have one I would have another. But she will be happy!

Parents of an only child

My dd is an only child- she is three. Many of her friends have younger siblings now and she loves looking at the babies but has no interest in having a sibling. I do not feel she is deprived--actually I feel quite the opposite we have more time and resources for her because we only have one child.

Re: Parents of an only child

My DS is 3.5 with no siblings. That's ((knock wood)) bound to change, but he so far hasn't questioned it and when I asked if he'd like a baby brother or sister one day, he says NO .

So there's that.

Re: Parents of an only child

I seriously think DD would prefer a puppy over a baby sibling. (neither is happening by the way )

Re: Parents of an only child

I have a grown daughter and worried about this when she was growing up. I always wanted more kids it just didn't work out that way. And I eventually had my tubes tied because she was getting older (11 or 12) and I didn't want to start over.

One thing I remember her asking me about why she was an old child. Was "was I that bad that you didn't want more kids". That broke my heart! Because she was a great kid. I replied with "you were a great kid and I didn't want to push my luck"

There are times I still wish I had another child. But not enough to regret my decision. It's been accepted by her and I.

Parents of an only child

I am an only child. I always asked my parents for a brother lol. They just laughed about it at the time, but now I realize that it just wasn't the right fit for them to have more than 1 child. I was an easy baby, I just went everywhere with my parents. My parents both worked demanding jobs and I think they would have been overwhelmed with another one. I did grow up very fast, being an only child and always around adults. I was a latch key kid at a young age. Would make myself a snack after school and be alone. I still do not understand the dynamic between siblings and the brutal honesty and fighting that sometimes goes along with it. It's a whole different world to me. Now that I am older I feel deprived because I long for that sibling dynamic and am determined to give my son a different experience as he grows up.