Thank you

thank you

Message edited 1/31/2017 10:59:06 PM.

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

I know you say DS doesn't listen and talks back, but what exactly does he do? When he gets in trouble, does he seem to understand what he did was wrong? Does he show remorse? Does anything you do deter the behavior in the moment? How does he behave towards the other kids at school?

I'm not sure where you live and what the cutoff is for K in your area, but if he's 5, was he able to start K this year? Being bored can certainly have an effect on bad behavior.

Does DS like sports? Enrolling him in something where he'll get to run around might give you a break and help get his energy out. My younger one is very high energy and the more he runs around, the less likely he is to constantly misbehave. He's still extremely difficult and physical, but tiring him out helps.

We've tried so many things to curb DS's behavior. I think he does a lot of things for attention and to get a reaction. He definitely behaves better when he gets 1 on 1 attention and when his brother isn't around. He's incredibly stubborn and independent. He does things on his terms or else he has huge meltdowns. Reward charts seem to be the most motivating, but if he wants to act up, nothing will stop him. It's extremely frustrating and exhausting. He can be so sweet sometimes, but then can turn so quickly. I wish I had an answer, but you're not alone. I hope you find things that work soon.

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Has he ever had a OT eval?

My son is a sensory seeker. He is in constant motion. Loves to leap and jump and run and bounce etc

There are techniques when he gets over stimulated that "calm" him down


Enrolling
Him in gymnastics helped too. He gets to bounce it out but also has to follow directions etc

Hang in there!

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

And to add to pp

It's so exhausting. A self directed child is like no other lol

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I think he should be evaluated. I would be concerned about ADHD and oppositional defiant behavior. He should have a full psych with an IQ test and behavioral screener, an ed evaluation, maybe motor and speech if there are any concerns. Speak to the pediatrician as well as request testing through CSE. However, why is your DS not enrolled in Kindergarten if he has turned 5 this year? CSE is not obligated to test if he's not in K, but he has aged out of CPSE. This may be a problem for you unless he just missed the cut off?

By the way, moving and intelligence have little to do with ADHD. Very smart kids can have ADHD, but being highly intelligent does not cause it. It's not just a matter of being bored bc he is smart. ADHD is a neurobiological disorder that tends to run in families. You can look on the CHADD.org website for more info on ADHD.

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Definitely make an apt with a pediatric Neurologist to assess ADHD/ODD. I'm assuming he is a December bday and missed the K cutoff and is still in PreK ? Is he currently receiving services via CPSE? If not I would contact your district and request a full eval including an OT eval. You need to have his sensory processing assessed. I would skip the Connors through the pediatrician and go right for the Neurologist. I would absolutely figure out what's going on here prior to kindergarten.

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

It might be ADHD, might not be. But he may need some supports in school. One boy in my son's class gets very hyper every couple hours and literally needs to run around (you can imagine this is not possible in a class with 22 kindergarteners). Very bright, uses amazing vocabulary, gets 100 on all the math tests, etc.

They got him this ball he uses sometimes to sit on in class (instead of his chair). He uses it every couple hours I think. The school psychologist recommended it. The mom said it has made so much difference. He is so much more behaved. I know they got a kids trampoline at home which helped and he wears rubber bands (special ones from OT), that he can snap on when he feels himself getting over excited.

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Posted by MrsS2005

I know you say DS doesn't listen and talks back, but what exactly does he do? When he gets in trouble, does he seem to understand what he did was wrong? Does he show remorse? Does anything you do deter the behavior in the moment? How does he behave towards the other kids at school?

I'm not sure where you live and what the cutoff is for K in your area, but if he's 5, was he able to start K this year? Being bored can certainly have an effect on bad behavior.

Does DS like sports? Enrolling him in something where he'll get to run around might give you a break and help get his energy out. My younger one is very high energy and the more he runs around, the less likely he is to constantly misbehave. He's still extremely difficult and physical, but tiring him out helps.

We've tried so many things to curb DS's behavior. I think he does a lot of things for attention and to get a reaction. He definitely behaves better when he gets 1 on 1 attention and when his brother isn't around. He's incredibly stubborn and independent. He does things on his terms or else he has huge meltdowns. Reward charts seem to be the most motivating, but if he wants to act up, nothing will stop him. It's extremely frustrating and exhausting. He can be so sweet sometimes, but then can turn so quickly. I wish I had an answer, but you're not alone. I hope you find things that work soon.

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Message edited 12/26/2016 11:46:58 AM.

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Have him evaluated by a neuropsychologist or clinical psychologist who does psycheducational testing. Do not ask them to simply screen for ADHD, you want the full eval due to possible giftedness. The Connors rating scales are diagnostic tools for ADHD but will not give you any info about his cognitive abilities. Based on the little info you provided he may be twice exceptional - ADHD and gifted. Gifted in itself can be challenging just as adhd can be. He may also meet criteria for ODD, oppositional defiant disorder which can go hand in hand with ADHD until he and you learn skills to help him. You need a good understanding of what his strengths and weaknesses are as well as his emotional functioning and any other things that may be going on in order to begin to take the steps that will help him.

ETA: If you can afford it, definitely get a private evaluation done. Don't go through the school district, their evals often leave much to be desired. I believe that to be true both in NY and in FL.

Message edited 12/26/2016 2:58:52 PM.

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Your son sounds a lot like mine.
Is he a perfectionist? If he does something wrong does he get frustrated and throws a tantrum like it's the end of the world? Is he very emotional?

DH and I are usually exhausted after a whole day of DS.
Things that work for us:

Art- he loves to draw and color and when he is upset that usually helps to calm him down

Repetition- Yes, i have to repeat everything five times, but he DOES listen.

Calm tone- even when he is angry and saying mean things, i calmly repeat myself until he hears me and start to listen

explanations- i find he is a lot less angry and listens better if i explain the "why" to everything we do. he also ends up agreeing and not repeating the mistakes again (for the most part)

physical activity- DS is in karate and soccer. he loves both and it helps him get his energies out. we also go out to the park any day it is not raining/snowing. even if just for a half hour to run around.

Good luck!

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

It doesn't sound like he's ADHD...maybe because if the focus on Lego and things he enjoys.

My DS is also extremely active. What worked best was a very tight schedule. We have extracurricular things 3 days a week and have his day scheduled with 30-60 minutes free time per day. We schedule everything from extracurricular activities to school work to supplemental work to reading time to free reading and even chores. It sounds rigid, but otherwise he's literally bouncing off the walls. With physical activity, we have a sweet spot. Too much causes him to be more physically crazy at home.

Good luck!

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

I just want to chime in with the others and agree that you should get an evaluation. Your DS sounds similar to mine. We saw a neurologist who is leaning towards a diagnosis of ADHD and borderline ODD. My DS currently gets speech therapy, OT and a SEIT (he's 4 1/2) and I have seen some major improvements with the services. He's still having issues in school but idk where we would be if he wasn't getting extra help. I know how incredibly frustrating these behavior issues can be. I'm sure moving has made it a bit more difficult for him but I would still get the evaluations and see what they say. And I agree with the PP about ADHD and focus. My DS can absolutely focus on something he LOVES. But things like circle time at school, or just sitting and coloring are torture for him and he acts out. Best of luck to you!

Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

your son sounds SO much like mine-- he just turned 6 in November. He's in full day kindergarten now, which i thought would help... but he still drives us nuts at home!!! He's just SO bright, that things like coloring, and even just sitting and building with Legos don't hold his interest. I don' think i can name one thing that consistently will hold his attention on his own if we pull it out. He'll occasionally sit and build with Legos, or play with his magnaTiles on his own for awhile, but he has to be in the right mood.
His teacher says he's fine at school, i even said i was concerned about ADHD and she said he does great there, gets along well with the other kids, is above where he should be in most stuff. She said he'll occasionally act a little hyper, but its during the "breaks', so its ok. Whenever its time to do work, she said he's able to sit and do his work and focus fine.
Is your son an only child, by any chance?? I think thats a huge part of it for my son. He's our only kid, he has no cousins around to play with, and most of the kids in the neighborhood have siblings or parents that work longer hours- so they're busy with their own stuff on the weekends to get together for play dates or whatever. its TOUGH. he's an extrememly social kid and likes interaction- so he gets bored at home and acts out. i have him in swimming, cub scouts, soccer--- so i try!!
i find i can get him to play by himself for longer if i put some music on--so i can sometimes set him up with legos and put some music on and get a few minutes of him entertaining himself. maybe try something like that.

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Message edited 12/27/2016 12:48:58 PM.

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Your son is 5 and sounds like a 5 year old to me. He is an only child? He sounds like he is bored at school and bored at home and wants someone to play and entertain him. I would not rush to have a diagnosis of some sort done. So many doctors are too quick to say a child has adhd. I would wait to see how he functions in a Kindergarten class. Can you enroll him some extra activities after school like maybe Karate or Gymnastics that are physically active? He may just need to burn off more energy.

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)

I'm kind of surprised by some of these responses. Your DS sounds a lot like mine. He's 5 and just started full day K this year. No one has ever suggested to me though that he needs therapy/evaluation. His K teacher says he's fine most of the day, except circle time. At home, he's very defiant, throws tantrums and says really mean things sometimes. But other days he's an angel and so sweet. He loves his Legos and taught himself to read over the summer. But he also needs to be outside a lot and be engaged in something at all times.

I was thinking he's just being 5, but now I'm not so sure...

Just wanted to add- mine is not an only. He has 3yo and 5 month old brothers. The 3 yo keeps him entertained sometimes, but other times they fight like crazy.

Message edited 12/28/2016 3:44:36 PM.

Re: Behavioral issues - Need support (long)