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MrsM84
LIF Adult
Member since 2/13 2352 total posts
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Am I wrong to be peeved?
I've been a high school teacher for 10 years here in a public school district on LI. What I am about to describe has only happened about 4 times in my entire career, but when it happened today it really freaking irked me and rubbed me the wrong way. I made some phone calls home today to parents regarding the first exam given in class. I will use the generic last name Smith for one of the conversations.
Me: Hi, this is (insert my name) calling from (insert name of my school). I'm Alex's social studies teacher and was hoping to speak to Mr. or Mrs. Smith.
Mr. Smith: This is Dr. Smith speaking.
Ughhhhhhh. Really? Why do I have to address you as a doctor in this situation? I'm a teacher, calling you, a parent, to discuss something academic related to your child. This isn't medical in any way shape or form (I know that you can also be a doctor by getting a Ph.D. but I know for a fact this person is an MD) I'm not your patient. I get it - you worked really hard to become a doctor and you feel that you deserve the title. I, too, worked incredibly hard to get multiple masters degrees but don't ask that you to address me as teacher. Is this a power thing? Why would anyone feel necessary, given the context of the phone call, to correct someone regarding their title? Vent over.
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Posted 9/22/16 7:53 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Am I wrong to be peeved?
He's Dr. Smith. Not Mr. Smith. I don't see the big deal at all. Jmo
Message edited 9/22/2016 8:02:34 PM.
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| Posted 9/22/16 8:02 PM |
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Am I wrong to be peeved?
I'm kind of confused. They didn't ask or correct you, they just stated who you reached. I would assume a practicing MD is so used to being referred to as Dr all day at work, so that's just an automatic thing, you know?
That's how I would take it. I wouldn't read into it.
I did a stint at a doc office once and we had a patient who came in and filled out a new patient form. She wrote "doctors wife" under occupation and expected her co pay to be waived. THAT i side-eyed. 
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| Posted 9/22/16 8:04 PM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
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ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by ANewDayHasCome
He's Dr. Smith. Not Mr. Smith. I don't see the big deal at all. Jmo
I agree. When I used to work the front desk at my last job we had to call people up to the desk for co pays etc. A few times i said Mr so and so. They would say Dr so and so. Didnt bother me. They were right, it is dr hahaahahah
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| Posted 9/22/16 8:06 PM |
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evrythng4areason
And then there were 4
Member since 1/10 5224 total posts
Name:
Kayla
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by ANewDayHasCome
He's Dr. Smith. Not Mr. Smith. I don't see the big deal at all. Jmo
This. Dr would replace mr or Mrs. I always joke with dh that I want to get my Ph.D. So all the invites come to dr and mr so and so lol
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| Posted 9/22/16 8:08 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7983 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
I know what your saying, it comes of rude IMO. This happened to me yrs ago while working in a dental practice, the pt said something similar and yes I was taken back. He was not an MD either. In fact he didn't realize we knew each other in social circles. All the MDs I know personally never referrer to themselves as DR. always first name.
I dont think what he did was the end of the world but it rubbed you the wrong way, maybe it made you feel as if he was placing himself above your profession.
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| Posted 9/22/16 8:12 PM |
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BsMomma2014
Fly high little one
Member since 6/10 2662 total posts
Name:
nicole
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by ANewDayHasCome
He's Dr. Smith. Not Mr. Smith. I don't see the big deal at all. Jmo
Agree, not a big deal at all
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| Posted 9/22/16 8:22 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3986 total posts
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Am I wrong to be peeved?
That would have annoyed me.
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| Posted 9/22/16 8:22 PM |
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
He is not a "Mr" if he is a "Dr". It's like referring to "Mrs" as a "Miss". Shouldn't bother you, it's just a formality. Now if he asked his family to call him "Dr" at the Thanksgiving dinner table that would be too much.
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| Posted 9/22/16 8:25 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
You asked to speak to Mr. or Mrs. Smith.
He responded, this is Dr. Smith. I am sure that is how he is used to referring to himself, since the Dr. replaces the Mr. its probably just his natural instinct to respond this way at this point. He didn't correct you. I wouldn't be annoyed at all.
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| Posted 9/22/16 8:29 PM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
I would probably be peeved too, but at least he's actually a doctor, so I feel like it's out of respect. My DS is in 2nd grade and the teacher has asked to be called Dr. So and so and I feel that's super pretentious and we all roll our eyes at it. I've had grad professors correct me from calling them Doctor, but this second grade teacher wants to be called that. I apologize for venting on your post
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| Posted 9/22/16 8:31 PM |
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shadows
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 4694 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by mommy2B3
I would probably be peeved too, but at least he's actually a doctor, so I feel like it's out of respect. My DS is in 2nd grade and the teacher has asked to be called Dr. So and so and I feel that's super pretentious and we all roll our eyes at it. I've had grad professors correct me from calling them Doctor, but this second grade teacher wants to be called that. I apologize for venting on your post
This would bother me wayyy more than the OP.
As far as the OP, I kind of  when people do that, but it doesn't make me angry or anything.
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| Posted 9/22/16 8:39 PM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by ANewDayHasCome
He's Dr. Smith. Not Mr. Smith. I don't see the big deal at all. Jmo
This.
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| Posted 9/22/16 8:41 PM |
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StarsStripes
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 1192 total posts
Name:
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Am I wrong to be peeved?
Anybody with a Dr. In their name obviously earned it, whether it's from a PhD or an MD...why would that bother anyone?
Message edited 9/22/2016 8:45:52 PM.
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| Posted 9/22/16 8:44 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
It's really not a big deal. He is likely so use to automatically responding, "This is Dr Smith" that he probably doesn't even realize he says it.
EVA - To answer your question......... No, I don't think you have a right to be peeved. It's a silly thing to get worked up about.
Message edited 9/22/2016 9:11:43 PM.
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| Posted 9/22/16 9:09 PM |
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MrsM84
LIF Adult
Member since 2/13 2352 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Maybe my over reaction was due to the fact that this phone call took place after 2 phone calls to parents who attempted to defend their child's plagiarism on an essay assignment (one of whom submitted the same exact essay as their older sibling 3 years ago). I use the website Turnitin.com and it yielded an 100% match to a previously submitted assignment. Up pops big sister's essay. Mom claims its coincidence and would like the child to be able to do a re-write for full credit. WTF?!? Today was not my day. 
Message edited 9/22/2016 9:23:41 PM.
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| Posted 9/22/16 9:22 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
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g
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by JME78
You asked to speak to Mr. or Mrs. Smith.
He responded, this is Dr. Smith. I am sure that is how he is used to referring to himself, since the Dr. replaces the Mr. its probably just his natural instinct to respond this way at this point. He didn't correct you. I wouldn't be annoyed at all.
This. He prob introduces himself as Dr.Smith all day
It's not only a reflex it's his title. He earned it
I don't understand at all how it's rude
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| Posted 9/22/16 9:23 PM |
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MrsM84
LIF Adult
Member since 2/13 2352 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by gina409
Posted by JME78
You asked to speak to Mr. or Mrs. Smith.
He responded, this is Dr. Smith. I am sure that is how he is used to referring to himself, since the Dr. replaces the Mr. its probably just his natural instinct to respond this way at this point. He didn't correct you. I wouldn't be annoyed at all.
This. He prob introduces himself as Dr.Smith all day
It's not only a reflex it's his title. He earned it
I don't understand at all how it's rude
For the record, I never said that it was rude of him to do that. I said that I was peeved, turned off by it. We weren't having a conversation in which his profession had an impact or any bearing on what was being discussed. I was calling him as a parent to discuss an issue regarding his child. I think what is impossible to convey over this kind of forum is the way he said it and the tone in which it was said. There was hard emphasis put on the word "Doctor". It wasn't said casually like you would if you were introducing yourself to someone.
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| Posted 9/22/16 9:34 PM |
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Maybe-Baybe
My Sunshine
Member since 7/12 3415 total posts
Name:
My only Sunshine
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by MrsM84
Posted by gina409
Posted by JME78
You asked to speak to Mr. or Mrs. Smith.
He responded, this is Dr. Smith. I am sure that is how he is used to referring to himself, since the Dr. replaces the Mr. its probably just his natural instinct to respond this way at this point. He didn't correct you. I wouldn't be annoyed at all.
This. He prob introduces himself as Dr.Smith all day
It's not only a reflex it's his title. He earned it
I don't understand at all how it's rude
For the record, I never said that it was rude of him to do that. I said that I was peeved, turned off by it. We weren't having a conversation in which his profession had an impact or any bearing on what was being discussed. I was calling him as a parent to discuss an issue regarding his child. I think what is impossible to convey over this kind of forum is the way he said it and the tone in which it was said. There was hard emphasis put on the word "Doctor". It wasn't said casually like you would if you were introducing yourself to someone.
I get what you're saying. I definitely would have done a little eye roll, but whatever, not a big deal.
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| Posted 9/22/16 9:46 PM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Honestly I would not be peeved. I am sure he just addressed himself as Dr as that is how he refers to himself all day every day. I work for two doctors who are no longer practicing medicine - its been years. But I refer to them as Dr all the time and if someone refers to them as Mr or Mrs I will then say its Dr...
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| Posted 9/22/16 9:48 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7983 total posts
Name:
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Am I wrong to be peeved?
I know many say he earned the right, it's not about earning the title, but more how he probably said it and the tone used.
this is what Im getting from op
Message edited 9/22/2016 9:49:50 PM.
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| Posted 9/22/16 9:48 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by mommy2B3
I would probably be peeved too, but at least he's actually a doctor, so I feel like it's out of respect. My DS is in 2nd grade and the teacher has asked to be called Dr. So and so and I feel that's super pretentious and we all roll our eyes at it. I've had grad professors correct me from calling them Doctor, but this second grade teacher wants to be called that. I apologize for venting on your post
?? Did this teacher earn a doctorate in education? If so, why in the WORLD would you find it "pretentious" for the teacher to use the HARD EARNED AND WELL DESERVED title s/he worked for?
To the OP, I totally get your point. It sounds like it was more HOW the parent said it than anything.
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| Posted 9/22/16 10:17 PM |
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Sweetlax22
LIF Adult
Member since 5/10 1904 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
I think this is all about the tone.
It sounds like the tone in this case was to remind the teacher that they are a dr and maybe some how better then them.
If it was a more friendly tone , more of a habit it would be like -
person 1-"Hi, may I speak to a Micheal"
Person 2 -"This is Mike"
(Not sure if this is a clear example, but best I can think or now)
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| Posted 9/22/16 10:54 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Am I wrong to be peeved?
Ehhh, I get it. I don't think he was being rude per se, but depending on his tone I can see why it might be obnoxious. You are both equals in this scenario (if anything, YOU have the upper hand) so pushing the title really isn't necessary. He's not at work. Also, way to pass along work ethic, your kid is a little plagiarizer.
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| Posted 9/22/16 11:14 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
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EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
i completely understand OP's point of view and being peeved.
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| Posted 9/22/16 11:24 PM |
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