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Playdate question for people with children close in age

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lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

8734 total posts

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Playdate question for people with children close in age

If you have children close in age and in particular children that are also the same gender, when one has a playdate over do you allow the other child to play with the sibling and his or her friend, or do you make sure the playdate is isolated from the other sibling?

If one of my daughters has a playdate over I always allow the other to be included if they want to, but I was just talking to a friend and her view was that it was bad for social development to allow the other sibling to participate in the playdate. Just curious how most people handle this situation.

Posted 9/2/16 10:04 PM
 

PregowithTwins
My boys turned 8

Member since 5/11

2451 total posts

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Playdate question for people with children close in age

I have twins & now that they are starting K, I am nervous about this.

Posted 9/2/16 10:13 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

8734 total posts

Name:

Re: Playdate question for people with children close in age

Posted by PregowithTwins

I have twins & now that they are starting K, I am nervous about this.



I actually have friends with twins and I think some of them handle it the way I do and others isolate them. I think twins is a little different than siblings close in age but not the same grade, because my daughters have some mutual and some separate friends, but also are not in school or any activities together. They have such separate lives outside of the house that I don't think that they need to be on isolated playdates in their own home. With twins if they are at the same school and in a lot of the same activities I could see wanting them to be able to cultivate friendships outside of their twin. But I don't necessarily think it's wrong to say that it's both kids home and they need to be included when the playdate is at your house.

Posted 9/2/16 10:51 PM
 

twicethefun
Loving life

Member since 7/06

4088 total posts

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Re: Playdate question for people with children close in age

I think it can cause issues for your child who is having the playdate. I would mostly isolate unless they are playing a particular game and the child who has the playdate asks the sibling to join in. Still I would limit that time. I have seen things go bad because of a sibling, and I know recently my daughter told me she did not want to go to so and so's house because of their sibling.


I think twins are different because they are the same age but it may be easier to have two playdates at once in that situation. I know some twins who always do that. Most of the time, I think they all play together.

Message edited 9/2/2016 11:02:39 PM.

Posted 9/2/16 10:57 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

8734 total posts

Name:

Re: Playdate question for people with children close in age

Posted by twicethefun

I think it can cause issues for your child who is having the playdate. I would mostly isolate unless they are playing a particular game and the child who has the playdate asks the sibling to join in. Still I would limit that time. I have seen things go bad because of a sibling, and I know recently my daughter told me she did not want to go to so and so's house because of their sibling.


I think twins are different because they are the same age but it may be easier to have two playdates at once in that situation. I know some twins who always do that. Most of the time, I think they all play together.



If things went bad or kids were fighting I would definitely separate but if all the kids are getting along well, and do so on a regular basis, would you still think it's necessary to keep them separated?

Posted 9/2/16 11:11 PM
 

Millie3
LIF Adult

Member since 7/13

1280 total posts

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Re: Playdate question for people with children close in age

Everyone plays together, usually the play date has a sibling as well. I've never had to isolate or separate anyone. If one DS doesn't feel like playing, he takes a break and goes back.

Posted 9/2/16 11:27 PM
 

Kissy331
My two miracles!

Member since 5/06

17826 total posts

Name:
Kristen

Re: Playdate question for people with children close in age

Mine are 10.5 months apart. It's very hard to tell them they are t allowed to play a each other's play dates. If it's in my home, they all play.

Posted 9/3/16 8:16 AM
 

sourpatchkids
LIF Adolescent

Member since 2/12

706 total posts

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Re: Playdate question for people with children close in age

Mine are just under 2 years apart...they all play together. I'm not going to get a babysitter if one of them has a playdate, but I always tell the mom that I have to bring both. And if the playdate is at my house, there's no way in heck I could keep one of them out of the play area for the duration of the playdate.

Posted 9/3/16 8:50 AM
 

twicethefun
Loving life

Member since 7/06

4088 total posts

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Re: Playdate question for people with children close in age

Posted by lululu

Posted by twicethefun

I think it can cause issues for your child who is having the playdate. I would mostly isolate unless they are playing a particular game and the child who has the playdate asks the sibling to join in. Still I would limit that time. I have seen things go bad because of a sibling, and I know recently my daughter told me she did not want to go to so and so's house because of their sibling.


I think twins are different because they are the same age but it may be easier to have two playdates at once in that situation. I know some twins who always do that. Most of the time, I think they all play together.



If things went bad or kids were fighting I would definitely separate but if all the kids are getting along well, and do so on a regular basis, would you still think it's necessary to keep them separated?




No if they were all getting along well with no disagreements, and did so regularly, I definitely wouldn't. I think it's great when any group of children can get along! But from my own experience with my daughter that can in an change in an instant so keep an eye out. And every play date is different.



Message edited 9/11/2016 8:59:12 AM.

Posted 9/3/16 8:52 AM
 

Aries14
Can't plan life...

Member since 8/08

2860 total posts

Name:

Playdate question for people with children close in age

they all play together. I would never leave one out

Posted 9/3/16 5:04 PM
 

WonderLady
LIF Infant

Member since 1/15

355 total posts

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Playdate question for people with children close in age

All play together. To isolate one is totally bizarre imo.

Posted 9/3/16 10:15 PM
 

summerBaby10
let's be nice

Member since 9/07

10208 total posts

Name:
Wifey

Re: Playdate question for people with children close in age

Our kids are the same gender 2 years apart & they all play together. Just so happens that a lot of my 6 year old's classmates have siblings the same age/gender as my younger dc. I'm not going to leave the siblings out when they can all just play & become a big group of friends.

Posted 9/4/16 2:39 PM
 

Momof3boys
LIF Infant

Member since 6/15

306 total posts

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Re: Playdate question for people with children close in age

We don't have many play dates because I work, but if it was at my house, I wouldn't/couldn't isolate one. Mine are 12 months apart. If I was invited to someone's house or was meeting at a place, I would only take one of them, if possible. I do think that having kids close in age makes many many things more difficult and challenged!

Posted 9/5/16 11:05 PM
 

MrsO
Big Brothers to Be

Member since 1/07

4508 total posts

Name:
Maureen

Re: Playdate question for people with children close in age

My boys are 14 months apart. if they want to play together they do. If the one without a playdate wants to do something else that is fine. I would not intentionally isolate.

Posted 9/5/16 11:26 PM
 

luckysmom
Yes it is! Going as planned:)

Member since 6/07

5339 total posts

Name:

Playdate question for people with children close in age

I have 5.5 year old twins and a 4 year ild. Whenever 1 has a playdate, the others are welcome to play too. I dont think it's fair to isolate the other 2. I'm also very lucky that all my kids friends include the other 2 when 1 is invited for a playdate at someone elses house.

Posted 9/6/16 11:42 PM
 

Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy

Member since 3/08

10420 total posts

Name:
Momx100

Re: Playdate question for people with children close in age

I have 2 boys 2 yrs apart. Everyone usually plays together.

I have started to make some effort so that kids can have some alone time with friends but that requires getting one kid out of the house. This summer, I staggered kids' camps and the child who was home had 1 or 2 play dates that week without brother being home. On weekends, DH may take one kid out while I take other child to a friend's house or host.

Posted 9/7/16 9:23 AM
 

EricaAlt
LIF Adult

Member since 7/08

22547 total posts

Name:
Erica

Re: Playdate question for people with children close in age

Posted by Millie3

Everyone plays together, usually the play date has a sibling as well. I've never had to isolate or separate anyone. If one DS doesn't feel like playing, he takes a break and goes back.



This exactly. I usually do playdates mostly with moms I've become friendly with so bringing the younger sibling isn't a problem. My boys are 7 and 5 so my 7 year old does drop off playdates anyway. If we are invited over for lunch, swim, etc at a friends my 5 year old is always invited. He either plays with the older boys or does his own thing.
For some reason I'm closer with the moms of my older DS's friends, but that could change. My younger DS, when he was in preschool and part-time we had playdates when my older DS was in school so would usually meet at a park or something.

Posted 9/7/16 9:32 AM
 

Straightarrow
LIF Adult

Member since 2/11

3534 total posts

Name:

Re: Playdate question for people with children close in age

Posted by WonderLady

All play together. To isolate one is totally bizarre imo.



Thank you!

My DS and my SO's DS are 50 weeks apart (lol) and although the situation is a little bit different because they aren't actually brothers, I wouldn't keep one from playing with the other's friends.

Posted 9/7/16 9:38 AM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

8734 total posts

Name:

Re: Playdate question for people with children close in age

okay glad to know I am in the majority on this one!

Posted 9/7/16 10:43 PM
 
 

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