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Is this rude?

Posted By Message

lilmamma
LIF Zygote

Member since 1/15

33 total posts

Name:

Is this rude?

I'm about 9 weeks along, and if all goes well we were hoping to announce to our families around July 4th weekend. We were planning to have our families over for a BBQ and announce with our older DC wearing a shirt. I guess we didn't get around to inviting quick enough - my BIL just invited the family over to his house for a BBQ the same day we were planning. Would it be really obnoxious to announce at their home ? i think it might be, but my DH disagrees. what do you think?

Posted 5/30/16 7:38 PM
 
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult

Member since 1/14

3196 total posts

Name:

Is this rude?

I don't think so at all. It's just a BBQ not like you're stealing anyone's spotlight.

Posted 5/30/16 7:48 PM
 

ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides

Member since 11/12

14481 total posts

Name:
Me

Is this rude?

I would prefer to be the host when announcing

Posted 5/30/16 7:49 PM
 

LuckyStar
LIF Adult

Member since 7/14

6441 total posts

Name:

Is this rude?

Depends on your relationship with your BIL, but I'd be inclined to say wait for your own BBQ.

Posted 5/30/16 7:53 PM
 

Momma2015
Mommax2

Member since 12/12

6303 total posts

Name:

Re: Is this rude?

It's just a bbq- I think it's fine. It's mostly an opportunity to tell everyone all together.

Posted 5/30/16 9:12 PM
 

MrsS6510
2 girls?!?!?

Member since 9/10

3318 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Is this rude?

I don't think so. We announced our second baby last 4th of July at my MIL's BBQ. We did it the same way with DD1 wearing a shirt. But we put her in a 4th of July outfit first and then put the shirt on later when everyone was there

Posted 5/30/16 9:53 PM
 

Mom0710
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/14

682 total posts

Name:

Re: Is this rude?

Depends. My bil's would be annoyed but that's just the way they are. I could not care less if someone did that at our BBQ. I say go for it.

Posted 5/30/16 10:02 PM
 

MrsZ2014
LIF Adult

Member since 2/15

909 total posts

Name:

Is this rude?

I think it would bother me if my SIL announced at my BBQ

Posted 5/30/16 10:13 PM
 

ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls

Member since 2/09

20489 total posts

Name:
Me

Is this rude?

If it were my BBQ, I would not mind at all, but some people are particular about that sort of thing. Can you let him in on the secret ahead of time and ask if he would mind?

Posted 5/31/16 12:53 AM
 

AngnShaun
Sisters

Member since 1/10

21015 total posts

Name:
Ang

Is this rude?

No, it's still your family. We announced at my cousins graduation party

Posted 5/31/16 7:55 AM
 

summerBaby10
let's be nice

Member since 9/07

10208 total posts

Name:
Wifey

Re: Is this rude?

Congrats! I would prefer to announce at my own event & would be a little bit shocked if someone did this at mine.

Posted 5/31/16 8:02 AM
 

Mom0710
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/14

682 total posts

Name:

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by AngnShaun

No, it's still your family. We announced at my cousins graduation party



Come to think of it we told people at my nephews communion party at my moms house. No one said boo and my sister is one of those "don't steal my thunder" people. This is in the days before Facebook so we didn't have another way to tell everyone at once.

Posted 5/31/16 8:44 AM
 

NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!

Member since 5/11

10379 total posts

Name:

Re: Is this rude?

We announced at Thanksgiving at my aunt's house. I don't think it's a big deal to announce at someone else's house. It's not like you're getting engaged at someone's wedding...that's def a faux pas!

Posted 5/31/16 9:47 AM
 

bunnyluck
LIF Adult

Member since 1/14

3196 total posts

Name:

Re: Is this rude?

Exactly, it's your family. Why wouldn't they be anything but thrilled? Chat Icon

These are the BEST times and moments to announce and what life is all about. I really, really can not understand how anyone could be upset about their brother or sister announcing one of the most joyful and significant events at their July 4th BBQ. The only situations I can understand are not wanting to steal someone's spotlight and/or if a relative was struggling with IF.

Otherwise, I'm just really trying to understand what any one can possibly be upset about?? Because it's your house? Are they stealing the spotlight from your hot dogs lol? I'd feel honored if my brother and SIL made such an announcement. Anything else just sounds so immature and self absorbed to me.

People are entitled to their feelings but cmon! This is such happy and incredible news! I just don't get how anyone could be offended!!!!

Posted 5/31/16 10:04 AM
 

Sparrow
LIF Adult

Member since 11/10

6785 total posts

Name:

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by bunnyluck

Exactly, it's your family. Why wouldn't they be anything but thrilled? Chat Icon

These are the BEST times and moments to announce and what life is all about. I really, really can not understand how anyone could be upset about their brother or sister announcing one of the most joyful and significant events at their July 4th BBQ. The only situations I can understand are not wanting to steal someone's spotlight and/or if a relative was struggling with IF.

Otherwise, I'm just really trying to understand what any one can possibly be upset about?? Because it's your house? Are they stealing the spotlight from your hot dogs lol? I'd feel honored if my brother and SIL made such an announcement. Anything else just sounds so immature and self absorbed to me.

People are entitled to their feelings but cmon! This is such happy and incredible news! I just don't get how anyone could be offended!!!!



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I was wondering myself how it was rude. It's a BBQ, not a wedding or someone else's baby shower.

Posted 5/31/16 10:07 AM
 

NoPlaceLikeHome
LIF Toddler

Member since 10/15

429 total posts

Name:

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by ElizaRags35

If it were my BBQ, I would not mind at all, but some people are particular about that sort of thing. Can you let him in on the secret ahead of time and ask if he would mind?



I would probably ask them in advance just to be on the safe side. If it were my SIL I would be happy I was "let in" on the secret and would want to make/buy a special dessert or something to celebrate.

Posted 5/31/16 10:15 AM
 

Nic1229
LIF Adolescent

Member since 5/13

639 total posts

Name:
Nicole

Is this rude?

I say go for it!! Your family should be happy for you. A new baby is definitely not something to be annoyed about.

Posted 5/31/16 10:18 AM
 

JDubs
different, not less

Member since 7/09

13160 total posts

Name:

Re: Is this rude?

congrats! I would want to announce at my own event.

Posted 5/31/16 11:42 AM
 

Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU

Member since 3/07

13921 total posts

Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by ANewDayHasCome

I would prefer to be the host when announcing




Yep!

Posted 5/31/16 12:35 PM
 

Sweetlax22
LIF Adult

Member since 5/10

1904 total posts

Name:

Re: Is this rude?

I guess it depends on your family , but I know my family would be thrilled. For a while we could not go to a family event without someone announcing!
I announced at the end of a family christening, it was the last time for a few months I was going to see the whole family together in person.
Since this party was for another person ( unlike a bbq or holiday) I was reluctant so I waited until the very end when most of the non family guests had already left, turned out everyone was mad at me (including the party host) for not telling them sooner in the day!

Posted 5/31/16 12:40 PM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18201 total posts

Name:
Allison

Is this rude?

This is my opinion on why it could be rude.....

1. know your family. While many would be completely happy others will think you are stealing their party. Why people think that way who knows but people do.

2. Again know your family - is the couple hosting trying to have a baby, dealing with infertility, having marital issues - who knows what other type of issues.

My theory is opt on the side of caution and know your family before doing anything.

I have dealt with infertility since trying for my DS and we have not been able to have another so my house would probably not be the place but I would hope my family would know that.

Posted 5/31/16 3:22 PM
 

RainyDay
LIF Adult

Member since 6/15

3121 total posts

Name:

Is this rude?

I would only feel comfortable if the host knew what you were planning on doing.

Posted 5/31/16 7:10 PM
 

hmm
Just Breath

Member since 1/14

7411 total posts

Name:

Is this rude?

I dont think it is appropriate, what if they have news to announce etc, and you say yours first.

I agree with other poster, either ask first
or

Send everyone home with a surprise to OPEN when they get home???

Message edited 5/31/2016 7:15:44 PM.

Posted 5/31/16 7:15 PM
 

evrythng4areason
And then there were 4

Member since 1/10

5224 total posts

Name:
Kayla

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by bunnyluck

Exactly, it's your family. Why wouldn't they be anything but thrilled? Chat Icon

These are the BEST times and moments to announce and what life is all about. I really, really can not understand how anyone could be upset about their brother or sister announcing one of the most joyful and significant events at their July 4th BBQ. The only situations I can understand are not wanting to steal someone's spotlight and/or if a relative was struggling with IF.

Otherwise, I'm just really trying to understand what any one can possibly be upset about?? Because it's your house? Are they stealing the spotlight from your hot dogs lol? I'd feel honored if my brother and SIL made such an announcement. Anything else just sounds so immature and self absorbed to me.

People are entitled to their feelings but cmon! This is such happy and incredible news! I just don't get how anyone could be offended!!!!



This exactly. People would honestly be upset you announced at their house not at your own?

Eta: I feel like I would question my relationship with these people if they actually would get upset with this

Message edited 5/31/2016 8:16:08 PM.

Posted 5/31/16 8:14 PM
 

ourlivesstartnow2012
New Year, New Everything!

Member since 6/12

2689 total posts

Name:

Is this rude?

I see no problem with announcing it at you BIL's house IF you know they would be ok with it. Know your audience when doing so. PLUS, I would DEF not do it if they ended up announcing something. I agree with the person who said, if BIL can keep a secret I would probably pull him aside and ask him if it's cool.

Posted 6/5/16 11:00 AM
 
 

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