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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
This stinks this happened to your son. I get where you are coming from. I would feel horrible if my husband's stupid judgement caused injury to another child. The card was a nice gesture but I would personally expect them to ask if there was anything they could do to help, even though I would not take money from them. Just ask, send my kid a little cheer up gift, coloring book, something. If you are the kind of person that would bend over backwards to make sure the hurt child was ok, I can see how a text would surely be disappointment. The fact there there was no offer of anything or even an apology really from the dad shows a lack of remorse for what happened even if it was an accident. He should still feel bad about what happened. Sounds like you didn't like the dad before & this just pushed you over.
Do they know the extent of what your son went through, everything that you mentioned here?
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Posted 5/15/16 10:57 AM  |
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shazza211
My life is complete
Member since 9/07 1580 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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DS was injured...wwyd
Thank you Chai77 that is exactly what happened. Yes I was venting my anger yesterday...this incident has affected our family more than I would have imagined. Did I truly expect them to show up at my house with a clown...no but I did expect the father to inquire/ask about my DS and apologize for his lack of judgment. I never thought I'd have to tell
someone to not bring their dog my house and let it loose. I realize I put myself out there with this post but I am surprised by some reactions. At the end of the day I think we can all agree that seeing your child in pain or suffering is torture.
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| Posted 5/15/16 11:05 AM |
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shazza211
My life is complete
Member since 9/07 1580 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Yes they know what he went through and that's part of my frustration .
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| Posted 5/15/16 11:07 AM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
I get it.  I would be furious too. You accept what happened to your son was an accident but they should acknowledge what you all went through.
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| Posted 5/15/16 11:10 AM |
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Christine2
LIF Adult
Member since 2/09 1216 total posts
Name:
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by Chai77
Posted by Mags1227
Posted by Chai77
I'm honestly shocked that all the previous posters do not relate to the OP's point.
I would feel the exact same way as the OP. I think that father had a LOT of nerve to first of all bring his dog to your home, but then to release the dog from the leash was extremely irresponsible and rude. (I will say I am not a dog or animal lover, so maybe that has something to do with my reaction).
I do not want someone's pet running around on my property especially around my children, who have multiple allergies and my youngest is afraid of dogs.
I think the family should have done more, like the father personally apologizing for his lack of judgement and offering to split the medical costs with you. Frankly, this accident would not have happened if the father exercised proper judgement and kept his dog in the car or at the very least, on a leash.
OP- I am so sorry your DS was injured! That is just awful.
I don't think we don't relate, but we are trying to nicely say something which is difficult to say. we all feel terrible for son and we all know how difficult and traumatic that experience can be.
my original answer was a diplomatic answer.
here's my honest thoughts ALONG with that original:
why did your husband, who was supervising this play date, allow the dog on your property in the first place? why did he allow the other guy to let his dog off the leash? the second that it looked like the owner was going to let the dog off the leash, i would have been forbidding it. it sounds like your husband did none of those things.
i'm sure that dog has played with children plenty of times and is not dangerous. if you did not feel comfortable, you should have said something. It's YOUR house, YOUR rules.
I assumed the way the OP wrote it that the father let the dog off the leash and it immediately took off and collided with her DS. That probably happened in a split second. If that's the case, I don't see how it is the OPs DH's fault at all. I blame the other father 100%. He was negligent letting his dog off the leash on someone else's property without permission. Why didn't he ask first? He sounds really nervy to me.
Also someone said why does the OP even need the dog's medical records. The dog's teeth broke through her son's skin! Thought not an intentional bite, the dogs saliva was in her sons mouth and wound! I don't blame the OP at all!
Totally unrelated, but if it were an accident on the other child's property, you could've sued and vice versa if it was the other child who had gotten hurt. I don't think there is any way to get money to pay medical bills if the accident was on your property. However, I am not sure if there is any legal recourse given that it was the other child's father who unleashed the dog on YOUR property. Is that legal? Not sure you even want to pursue this route, but it may help you recoup some money for medical bills. Maybe contact an injury attorney.
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| Posted 5/15/16 8:54 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3570 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by hmm
Posted by ChilisWife
While I agree that the parents seem to be a bit more lackadaisical about it than I would have been....I do feel it was an accident and that they didn't "cause it," per se. However, if it were my son I would be unbelievably upset and mad at the consequences you and your poor son had to go through, and quite frankly not sure I could get over it enough to ever warm up to the family again.
just wondering, I understand feeling upset, but you really couldn't get over it, even though it was a true accident and not intentional.
Growing up everyone I knew had some kind of accident at some point its part of growing up, at times caused by friends but they were accidents.
The bottom line is that while I'm sure it wasn't "intentional," the man let the dog off the leash on someone else's property and the dog was the proximate cause of the child's injuries - accidental or not. You have to be responsible for your pets just like you have to be responsible for yourself even if it's an accident - just like if someone had a medical emergency while driving and accidentally crashed into a house. I bet anything that if had been reversed and the child had somehow injured the dog, there would be hell to pay.
Honestly if it were a bump or a bruise or a cut or a bump on the head, I'd get over it real fast and be fine with it. My daughter broke her leg a week before her dance recital and it sucked but I got over it and did not hold a grudge against the party at fault. But here, the fact that I would have to pay thousands of dollars out of pocket AND potentially have to put my child through plastic surgery AND not even get the satisfaction of the other parents feeling guilty.... all over something 100% preventable...... would take me a while to get over.
Message edited 5/15/2016 10:11:22 PM.
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| Posted 5/15/16 10:02 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7179 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by ChilisWife
Posted by hmm
Posted by ChilisWife
While I agree that the parents seem to be a bit more lackadaisical about it than I would have been....I do feel it was an accident and that they didn't "cause it," per se. However, if it were my son I would be unbelievably upset and mad at the consequences you and your poor son had to go through, and quite frankly not sure I could get over it enough to ever warm up to the family again.
just wondering, I understand feeling upset, but you really couldn't get over it, even though it was a true accident and not intentional.
Growing up everyone I knew had some kind of accident at some point its part of growing up, at times caused by friends but they were accidents.
The bottom line is that while I'm sure it wasn't "intentional," the man let the dog off the leash on someone else's property and the dog was the proximate cause of the child's injuries - accidental or not. You have to be responsible for your pets just like you have to be responsible for yourself even if it's an accident - just like if someone had a medical emergency while driving and accidentally crashed into a house. I bet anything that if had been reversed and the child had somehow injured the dog, there would be hell to pay.
Honestly if it were a bump or a bruise or a cut or a bump on the head, I'd get over it real fast and be fine with it. My daughter broke her leg a week before her dance recital and it sucked but I got over it and did not hold a grudge against the party at fault. But here, the fact that I would have to pay thousands of dollars out of pocket AND potentially have to put my child through plastic surgery AND not even get the satisfaction of the other parents feeling guilty.... all over something 100% preventable...... would take me a while to get over.
But it was "preventable" from both sides...the visiting father should not have taken the dog off the leash, or insisted on continuing the game. The OP's husband could've easily said no to both of these things. But since he didn't, he clearly didn't foresee an injury occurring. That's why as much as it sucks, it has to be chalked up to an unfortunate accident.
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| Posted 5/16/16 6:30 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
First of all I love how so many people think you seriously wanted them to show up with a cotton candy machine!
Second, I would be livid. How dare he let his dog off the leash on your property. First of all it's your front yard, what if the dog darted into the street and got hit by a car? If that were the case everyone would be going crazy about how irresponsible he was. But in this case his lack of judgement caused a serious injury to your child. He should at least be more apologetic. He sounds like a real jack ass but I am not sure saying anything would even do anything. I would just move on from it and try to avoid him as much as possible.
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| Posted 5/16/16 7:45 AM |
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shazza211
My life is complete
Member since 9/07 1580 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by lululu
First of all I love how so many people think you seriously wanted them to show up with a cotton candy machine!
Second, I would be livid. How dare he let his dog off the leash on your property. First of all it's your front yard, what if the dog darted into the street and got hit by a car? If that were the case everyone would be going crazy about how irresponsible he was. But in this case his lack of judgement caused a serious injury to your child. He should at least be more apologetic. He sounds like a real jack ass but I am not sure saying anything would even do anything. I would just move on from it and try to avoid him as much as possible.
That's my plan! 
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| Posted 5/16/16 7:56 AM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
You're angry and it's easy to point the blame on these people. I would too!
However, I've learned that people never react/respond the way you want them to. I think the mom inquiring several time and her son sending a card was nice and more than I would expect from most people. The dad is an ass.
Yes, this could have been avoided if he didn't bring the dog and let him off the leash, but it could also been avoided if when he insisted that the boys play a little longer that your husband say, no. Hindsight is 20/20 though and I'm usually an ass like that - when I'm done, I'm done, no "5 more minutes".
I really hope your son is feeling better. It breaks my heart that he was being teased at school.
What did you end up saying/doing at their game?
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| Posted 5/16/16 8:28 AM |
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shazza211
My life is complete
Member since 9/07 1580 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by KGools
You're angry and it's easy to point the blame on these people. I would too!
However, I've learned that people never react/respond the way you want them to. I think the mom inquiring several time and her son sending a card was nice and more than I would expect from most people. The dad is an ass.
Yes, this could have been avoided if he didn't bring the dog and let him off the leash, but it could also been avoided if when he insisted that the boys play a little longer that your husband say, no. Hindsight is 20/20 though and I'm usually an ass like that - when I'm done, I'm done, no "5 more minutes".
I really hope your son is feeling better. It breaks my heart that he was being teased at school.
What did you end up saying/doing at their game?
In the end I sat in a location where I didn't have to worry about much interaction and kept things cool calm and collected.
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| Posted 5/16/16 6:10 PM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by summerBaby10
This stinks this happened to your son. I get where you are coming from. I would feel horrible if my husband's stupid judgement caused injury to another child. The card was a nice gesture but I would personally expect them to ask if there was anything they could do to help, even though I would not take money from them. Just ask, send my kid a little cheer up gift, coloring book, something. If you are the kind of person that would bend over backwards to make sure the hurt child was ok, I can see how a text would surely be disappointment. The fact there there was no offer of anything or even an apology really from the dad shows a lack of remorse for what happened even if it was an accident. He should still feel bad about what happened. Sounds like you didn't like the dad before & this just pushed you over.
Do they know the extent of what your son went through, everything that you mentioned here?
I agree with the above.
Having said that, I have learned not to expect from people what I would give in the same situation.
When I make that mistake, most of the time I end up disappointed.
I don't blame you for being livid though.
What that man did was irresponsible and I would feel their response lacking as well.
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| Posted 5/16/16 8:28 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by shazza211
Posted by KGools
You're angry and it's easy to point the blame on these people. I would too!
However, I've learned that people never react/respond the way you want them to. I think the mom inquiring several time and her son sending a card was nice and more than I would expect from most people. The dad is an ass.
Yes, this could have been avoided if he didn't bring the dog and let him off the leash, but it could also been avoided if when he insisted that the boys play a little longer that your husband say, no. Hindsight is 20/20 though and I'm usually an ass like that - when I'm done, I'm done, no "5 more minutes".
I really hope your son is feeling better. It breaks my heart that he was being teased at school.
What did you end up saying/doing at their game?
In the end I sat in a location where I didn't have to worry about much interaction and kept things cool calm and collected.
I would've done the same. I HATE confrontation. 
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| Posted 5/17/16 8:01 AM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
Name:
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
It's easy to look back and say, we were ending the playdate but he insisted, we were done with wiffle ball but he pushed us, etc but at the end of the day it was only the impact of that single moment between your son and the dog, kwim? Obviously it's easy to feel guilty that you should have told the father to leave the dog leashed, but we all know that in the moment it can be an awkward request and you think asking would be overreacting since it is so so unlikely for something to happen. I think the main fault is on the dad for the reason that he should know his dog goes for the balls. My dog is old and wouldn't move an inch for a ball. This guy probably plays fetch or whatever and the dog is trained to go for balls. I think you have to just let it go. If you want them to contribute financially, then ask- but if that's not what you want, I wouldn't bother saying or doing anything else. They are probably afraid you're going to try and take some legal action and are afraid to be too apologetic out of looking like they're admitting guilt. The dad sounds like a pushy jerk. I would just distance myself.
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| Posted 5/20/16 9:20 AM |
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itsagoodlife
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/15 619 total posts
Name:
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
I understand why you were so upset.
To everyone saying that she is overreacting... I think the point the OP is making is this:
Had the tables been turned, and this child had been at her house and SHE was the one who had a dog, at HER home... and her dog injured the visiting child... WWYD? Would you simply ask the parents how the kid was? Or would you be beside yourself trying to make things right? Offering to pay medical bills? Giving up your dogs medical records?
YES you would. There really is no difference here. A child was injured by someone elses pet. Accident or now, they should be doing more than sending a "get well" card IMO. And depending how bad the injuries were, there may even be a lawsuit to recover damages... at the very least a claim put into homeowners.
So yeah, I would be furious and would be considering options. Someones negligience caused your baby to be injured.
No brainer.
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| Posted 5/20/16 10:09 AM |
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by itsagoodlife
I understand why you were so upset.
To everyone saying that she is overreacting... I think the point the OP is making is this:
Had the tables been turned, and this child had been at her house and SHE was the one who had a dog, at HER home... and her dog injured the visiting child... WWYD? Would you simply ask the parents how the kid was? Or would you be beside yourself trying to make things right? Offering to pay medical bills? Giving up your dogs medical records?
YES you would. There really is no difference here. A child was injured by someone elses pet. Accident or now, they should be doing more than sending a "get well" card IMO. And depending how bad the injuries were, there may even be a lawsuit to recover damages... at the very least a claim put into homeowners.
So yeah, I would be furious and would be considering options. Someones negligience caused your baby to be injured.
No brainer.
See and I disagree just because you would react that way doesn't make it WRONG when someone else doesn't do as you would. Her kid wrote a card which was very sweet, the mother asked how he was doing, yes would those other extra's of offering to do this, or pay for that have been nice, sure. But they aren't a necessity. She's upset her son got injured I get that but it was an accident. What if it had been the kids that collided and it had the same result? Would you be looking for payment? No more than likely you'd let it go as an accident. The dog wasn't being aggressive. It saw a ball being thrown and both the kid and the dog went after it. The dad is an ass for not asking after the injured child I agree but that is all that can be said.
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| Posted 5/22/16 7:35 PM |
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momtimes2
LIF Infant
Member since 4/14 333 total posts
Name:
stephanie
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DS was injured...wwyd
in all honesty, I would not be upset - things happen, it was an accident. I am sorry your son was injured
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| Posted 5/23/16 10:40 AM |
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momtimes2
LIF Infant
Member since 4/14 333 total posts
Name:
stephanie
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by shazza211
Thank you Chai77 that is exactly what happened. Yes I was venting my anger yesterday...this incident has affected our family more than I would have imagined. Did I truly expect them to show up at my house with a clown...no but I did expect the father to inquire/ask about my DS and apologize for his lack of judgment. I never thought I'd have to tell
someone to not bring their dog my house and let it loose. I realize I put myself out there with this post but I am surprised by some reactions. At the end of the day I think we can all agree that seeing your child in pain or suffering is torture.
absolutely and I would have been way more apologetic but we are not all the same and at the end of the day, it was an accident, your son will recover and move on from this
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| Posted 5/23/16 10:42 AM |
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