silly mommy vent

I realize this is silly, but it made my baby sad, so it brought out my momma-bear tendencies:

I did my nails Sunday. DS saw it and wanted me to paint his pinkie and ring finger. I did it. I saw no harm in entertaining my 5 year old. He got a good giggle out of it.

Monday he comes home from school and he's all sad. I ask why. He says when the kids saw his nails (which he did as a joke and had a great laugh about) they all laughed at him.

It made me so mad to see him sad because "boys don't wear nail polish"

Re: silly mommy vent

awww that's so hard.

what color was it?? was it that noticeable? (I guess so).

I kind of know the pain -- my nephew is fourteen and starting to deal with the middle school constantly being picked on. happens to everyone until the person gets to the point where they have had enough and they end up laying out the ringleader. My nephew is at that point. And, at fourteen, I told him, he puts his hands on you and knock him out. That's how I was raised lol. My father took him out in the yard, showed him how to do it and we sent him on his way.

But, at your son's age? Nah, I'm stumped. I feel so bad! I would suggest talking to the teacher but I always feel like that gets you nowhere fast.

Re: silly mommy vent

Posted by DaniJude

awww that's so hard.

what color was it?? was it that noticeable? (I guess so).

Re: silly mommy vent

Aw, that's rough. My son always asks me about make up, doing my nails, earrings, etc. I never want to say, "that's for girls" but I struggle with what I do tell him. I don't have advice for you other than,

Re: silly mommy vent

Not sure if it would help, but maybe you could show him pictures of Penn Jillette. He has a red painted fingernail that he's had for years. It was a joke he had with his mom, and is now in memory of her.



Kids are mean, and they only get meaner as they get older....

Re: silly mommy vent

Posted by GoldenRod

Not sure if it would help, but maybe you could show him pictures of Penn Jillette. He has a red painted fingernail that he's had for years. It was a joke he had with his mom, and is now in memory of her.

IMAGE

Kids are mean, and they only get meaner as they get older....

Re: silly mommy vent

I hate that this happens at such a young age. My DS is 6 and he came home a few weeks ago and told me that a boy in his afterschool program was making fun of him and telling him he knows nothing about Minecraft and everything he makes with legos is stupid. DS is very creative and he literally spends HOURS after school playing with legos. That's all he does in the afterschool program. It broke my heart to know that this kid was destroying the ONLY thing DS takes joy in at the program. I wanted to walk in there and smack the kid in the face. Obviously I cant do that, so instead I told DS to try to distance himself from that kid. But it just KILLS me that even at 6 years old kids can be so mean to each other.

Re: silly mommy vent

I guess sending him with nail polish wasn't the best idea just remove it and the kids will forget about it. It's amazing how mean cute little 5 year olds can be! I have one and know how it is with this age

Re: silly mommy vent

Aw! Right before Christmas, my 5 yr old son (who's got two older sisters, 10 & 8) wanted to paint his nails. My DH and my DDs tried to dissuade him saying "That's for girls," but I replied "It's for anyone who wants to do it and if you can't be who you want to be at FIVE years old, then there's no hope for humanity!

I took him right down and painted his toenails alternating red and green and you had to see his face light up After Christmas was over, he wanted those particular colors off. If I could post a picture from my phone here, you'd see this guy wearing a Mets shirt, swinging around a light saber, toes painted...pink and blue!

So, I don't think it's silly of you to be sad about it at all.

Message edited 1/12/2016 2:15:09 PM.

silly mommy vent

Im all for live and let live... Dress how you want. Do what you want. Love who you want. I am all about putting it all out there... But are you really shocked that 5 year old boys laughed at him for having nail polish on? And Im not condoning what they did. BUT their 5 they don't know any better...
Conform or be shunned? Conform to what?

And Im not looking to get flamed and Im not being nasty at all Im just saying they are 5 years old. Your not talking about older kids or even adults... Their 5, if you don't like super heroes they'll make fun of you LOL

Im sorry your son was sad I do know what that feels like to see such a young child sad. Its heartbreaking. My 3.5 year old daughter already had to deal with a mean girl in class who was a bully.
I commend you for teaching your son to be who he wants to be no matter what. That to me is the most important lesson and that's also what I teach my dd. I also teach my dd to accept everyone and be nice to everyone.
All Im saying is don't be shocked that other kids aren't going to be on board with that. Adults are like this, the world is like this, why are you shocked that children are like this is my point...

ETA: The lesson here is to teach your son that when other people laugh have the strength to be who you want to be anyway... because the world isn't always going to accept it. And that's ok.

Message edited 1/13/2016 1:35:47 PM.

Re: silly mommy vent

Re: silly mommy vent

Thanks for your support and opinions everyone.

Like I said, this was a silly vent and i'm not even sure what i was looking for.

i'm just amazed that the negativity and judgments start so young. Then again, maybe I shouldn't be.

i will definitely be more conscious of how I allow DS to express himself in front of others from now on. (And that makes me very sad.)

Re: silly mommy vent

Have him paint his toenails. That way, when he's at school, they are covered, but he can walk around barefoot at home. I let DD paint my toenails not that long ago. It made her happy, I didn't care one way or another, and they were covered at work.

Re: silly mommy vent

Re: silly mommy vent

Posted by Mags1227

Posted by DaniJude

awww that's so hard.

what color was it?? was it that noticeable? (I guess so).

it was bright red. DS was very much aware it's not the typical thing to do and took it as a joke. Guess the other kids don't share his sense of humor.

i didn't even know how to make him feel better. he takes things so personally For me, i know that would be the best way of weeding out who to be friends with. But he's 5! not a life lesson i want him to learn yet.

If this is what happens at 5, what will the teen years be? For all the tolerance we preach, we sure don't live it. Conform or be shunned! seems to be the lesson.

Re: silly mommy vent

This makes me super sad. I have boy girl twins and my DS regularly has his nails (toes or hands or both) painted. Yes it is a traditionally "feminine" thing to do, but what little kids wouldn't want to decorate themselves? They do it with stickers, why not paint. I've gotten some comments, and some people have had said to him "oh thats just for girls" and I laugh as he is the most rough and tumble little boy who things its awesome that he has blue nails. I guess it is a good experience to at least talk about self confidence and what to say when someone (kid or adult) says something ridiculous.

Re: silly mommy vent

A lot of celebs actually paint their nails:
http://bossip.com/1045006/pretty-digits-a-gallery-of-celebrity-men-who-like-rocking-colorful-nail-polish/

http://radaronline.com/photos/celebrity-men-painted-nails-johnny-depp-russell-brand-steven-tyler-photos/photo/698740/

Brad Pitt
Snoop Dogg
Seal
David Navarro
Johnny Depp
Ocho Cinco
David Beckham

I know that this won't stop kids from picking on him, but hopefully if you can show him that some very famous, very manly men wear nail polish, he won't feel weird about wearing it at home.

Re: silly mommy vent

At 5, they are figuring out boy vs girl.
Yes, they learn & love stereotypes... And where they fit in.
I wouldn't worry... DS came home crying that another kid refused to be a "bad guy superhero" with him.
Surprisingly no one bothers him about his nose picking!