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Would you have reacted the same as I did?

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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!

Member since 7/06

27915 total posts

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Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Posted by klingklang77

Posted by KGools

I wore my kids when I went grocery shopping by myself with them. I was just not coordinated enough to do the push and pull. And this scenario wasn't conducive to doing any real grocery shopping.

IMAGE

All that being said... I don't think I would have reacted at all if someone moved my stroller. It's better than her bumping/crashing into it and chances are, with how chaotic my trips to the grocery store are, I wouldn't hear anyone saying "excuse me". I would appreciate the help because not everyone out there is a bad person.



See that's the thing. After looking at this pic, don't you have a stroller where the baby is there on top and the older one is standing and under the baby is a space where you can put your groceries? Then the older one can walk when you need it to?

Kind of like this?

IMAGE

I mean just go to the supermarket a few days instead of one big shop. I don't understand this argument at all! Again, I don't live in the US, but this just makes sense to me.



I have a stroller like this, I could barely fit a gallon of milk under there let alone actual groceries. I don't have time to make a million stops to the supermarket throughout the week, I do one big shopping trip and call it a day. Therefore, I need a way to restrain the kids AND carry a weeks worth of groceries. So, push/pull is the ONLY way to do it all. As long as you're aware of your surroundings and considerate of people around you who are also shopping I don't see the problem. In fact, I see moms push/pull ALL the time at the store, I thought it was normal.

Posted 8/21/15 8:18 AM
 
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wakemeup

Member since 10/13

1397 total posts

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Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Wow what in the hell is wrong with some of you? I would have reacted the same way as OP - both as a new mom and now that my kids are older. I would never move someone else's stroller, EVER, that is just beyond rude to me. And what she said wasn't rude at all, it just called attention to the fact that the woman touching her stroller should not have done so.

Sorry you are getting beat up on here OP - I think some people have a distorted sense of reality and like to think they are so much bigger/better than everyone else. Chat Icon

Posted 8/21/15 8:22 AM
 

Porrruss
Nya nya nya

Member since 5/05

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Amy

Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Posted by MrsM84

Wow, my "nasty" and "rudeness" radar must be way off because I honestly don't think what I said was either of those things. I think her response of name calling and cursing was much worse than what I said to her.



And maybe her "don't touch other people's things" radar is different than yours! Truthfully, had something like that happened to me, I would have likely told her to keep walking her down the aisle. Or that there are more in aisle 5, but not as cute.

You admitted that you used a loud, annoyed voice. You were annoyed (rightfully so) and reacted to those emotions. But you essentially scolded her, like a child- which is embarrassing. There's no need for an adult to speak to another adult that way in a situation like that- where there's a huge possibility that this was an innocent misstep on her part.

So it's not the WORDS you used, but the WAY you used those words that escalated the situation. She may have been presumptuous by touching your stroller, but YOU made it confrontational by reacting like that. Had you used a less aggressive approach, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have ended the way it did.


Posted 8/21/15 8:44 AM
 

MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!

Member since 5/06

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Marisa

Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Posted by MrsM84

Sorry, I probably should have included what I said -- "It would have been nice if you said excuse me rather than touching my stroller without permission and moving it. My 3 month old daughter is in there. Just ask next time." I honestly didn't think that was anything bitchy or inappropriate. I'm surprised at a lot of the responses on here. Since when is it okay for a complete stranger to move your child without asking?!?!



I missed this post -
I don't think what you said was rude or nasty at all.
Your original post made it seem (to me at least) like you ripped the lady's head off.
I probably would have said something similar to her -

Posted 8/21/15 8:53 AM
 

Kitten1929
LIF Adult

Member since 1/13

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Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

I think both are at fault - you for taking up the aisle and her for moving your cart.

Posted 8/21/15 9:13 AM
 

Mill188
LIF Adult

Member since 3/09

3067 total posts

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Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

I don't see what the big deal is. She didn't try to steal your baby. She didn't move the stroller to another aisle. She moved it so she could pass through. It's not like she put her hands on your child.

I honestly would have moved your stroller too.

Posted 8/21/15 9:31 AM
 

JennZ
MY LIFE!!

Member since 8/05

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Would you have reacted the same as I did?

I think this thread is hysterical. Thanks for the laugh. You gals are super uptight.

Posted 8/21/15 9:46 AM
 

gina409
TWINS!

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g

Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

I'm still confused.

Op clarified both carts were moved on the side of the aisle. They were not next to one another

So couldn't the person pass by? I'm thinking she wanted something on the shelf the carriage was next to

She didn't say excuse me,she just moved the carriage

I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong in this situation but i feel like the story is getting twisted

Posted 8/21/15 10:23 AM
 

Pomegranate5
LIF Adult

Member since 2/11

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Pomegranate5

Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Posted by Mill188

I don't see what the big deal is. She didn't try to steal your baby. She didn't move the stroller to another aisle. She moved it so she could pass through. It's not like she put her hands on your child.

I honestly would have moved your stroller too.



I probably would have moved it too. Especially since she knew you saw her and yet you did not make any attempt to move out of her way.

I'm guessing that her version of this encounter probably sounds a lot different and there is a very understandable reason for why she moved the stroller.

Posted 8/21/15 10:32 AM
 

Pomegranate5
LIF Adult

Member since 2/11

4769 total posts

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Pomegranate5

Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Posted by gina409

I'm still confused.

Op clarified both carts were moved on the side of the aisle. They were not next to one another

So couldn't the person pass by? I'm thinking she wanted something on the shelf the carriage was next to

She didn't say excuse me,she just moved the carriage

I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong in this situation but i feel like the story is getting twisted



Sounds like they were moved to one side but still didn't leave enough room for another cart to pass.

The lady knew the OP saw her but did nothing to accommodate her and let her pass by.

When you are working with a cart and a stroller and taking up that much room you need to be more aware and proactive about being out of everyone's way. Or at least that's my opinion.

Posted 8/21/15 10:36 AM
 

Paramount
Sweet!

Member since 7/12

4287 total posts

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Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Who knew this kind of drama could ensue.

I am not a parent. And although it's rude of her to take up the aisle I think *most people get that when you are juggling kids, grocery a etc it can happen. I would never think that she blocked on purpose.

Personally I would not ever touch anyone else's child or stroller. We have ALL been there where sometimes the stroller is way to packed and could possibly top over from bags on the handles. (As an example). I have seen it and done it. Because if that I would not touch a child. And the stroller, in my mind is a child.

And with the OPckarifying her convo I do not think she was out of line.

And as a caveat GENERALLY one would think a woman would be sensitive to a stroller and move it in a manner that would be respectful.

In any case I don't think the OP was wrong.

Posted 8/21/15 10:37 AM
 

justbeachy
So close....

Member since 7/07

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Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Posted by nferrandi

I just came back to this post and read what you actually said to the woman. I think that was totally uncalled for! You can justify it any way you want, but you were rude.
You took up the entire aisle, making it impossible for someone to pass by. You saw someone who was potentially trying to make her way down the aisle. You opted not to move either your stroller or your cart to allow her to pass. She moved your stroller up so she could get by. Then you were nasty to her on top of being inconsiderate and hogging the aisle.
I can't for the life of me understand how you could think you were in the right.



Agreed

Posted 8/21/15 10:50 AM
 

gina409
TWINS!

Member since 12/09

27635 total posts

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g

Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Posted by Pomegranate5

Posted by gina409

I'm still confused.

Op clarified both carts were moved on the side of the aisle. They were not next to one another

So couldn't the person pass by? I'm thinking she wanted something on the shelf the carriage was next to

She didn't say excuse me,she just moved the carriage

I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong in this situation but i feel like the story is getting twisted



Sounds like they were moved to one side but still didn't leave enough room for another cart to pass.

The lady knew the OP saw her but did nothing to accommodate her and let her pass by.

When you are working with a cart and a stroller and taking up that much room you need to be more aware and proactive about being out of everyone's way. Or at least that's my opinion.



The op
Thought she was getting something to put in her cart

She didn't look at her and turn like well wait till I'm done,then I'll move my cart

Either way people keep
Throwing common courtesy around but maybe the other woman should have had some by saying excuse me

And if she did and op didn't hear it,I would tap the mom on her shoulder before I touched her carriage

Posted 8/21/15 10:54 AM
 

PaddysGirl
Little princess is here!

Member since 4/07

5923 total posts

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Crystal

Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

I would never move so,domes stroller. A cart is fine but stroller - nope

Posted 8/21/15 10:56 AM
 

justbeachy
So close....

Member since 7/07

2899 total posts

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Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Nm. I need to be less snarky today.

Message edited 8/21/2015 11:13:05 AM.

Posted 8/21/15 10:56 AM
 

Pomegranate5
LIF Adult

Member since 2/11

4769 total posts

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Pomegranate5

Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Posted by gina409

Posted by Pomegranate5

Posted by gina409

I'm still confused.

Op clarified both carts were moved on the side of the aisle. They were not next to one another

So couldn't the person pass by? I'm thinking she wanted something on the shelf the carriage was next to

She didn't say excuse me,she just moved the carriage

I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong in this situation but i feel like the story is getting twisted



Sounds like they were moved to one side but still didn't leave enough room for another cart to pass.

The lady knew the OP saw her but did nothing to accommodate her and let her pass by.

When you are working with a cart and a stroller and taking up that much room you need to be more aware and proactive about being out of everyone's way. Or at least that's my opinion.



The op
Thought she was getting something to put in her cart

She didn't look at her and turn like well wait till I'm done,then I'll move my cart

Either way people keep
Throwing common courtesy around but maybe the other woman should have had some by saying excuse me

And if she did and op didn't hear it,I would tap the mom on her shoulder before I touched her carriage




I think it was obviously a misunderstanding on BOTH of their parts. The OP didn't realize she couldn't get by and the woman assumed the OP DID realize and just didn't care to do anything about it.

But the OP is the one who took it to the next level of rudeness, and then obviously the woman escalated it even further. There was no need for any of the comments that were made by either of them IMO.

Posted 8/21/15 11:17 AM
 

gina409
TWINS!

Member since 12/09

27635 total posts

Name:
g

Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

I totally agree!

I was more blown away by the comments about who shops with a carriage and those who called her paranoid or said she shouldn't be shopping with her child

Posted 8/21/15 12:02 PM
 

SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult

Member since 12/13

1765 total posts

Name:
B

Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

I do the push stroller / pull cart all the time when shopping with DS. If someone went to move my stroller I would probably flip. I would NEVER touch someones stroller. The OP said the person didn't say excuse me or anything. Even if the person did say it... the OP obviously didn't hear it. The person should have asked again. When I am trying to get by people in the store with my cart and stroller... I have to say "excuse me" more times then I can even count. Even then there are some people that only move slightly out of my way I have to ask for more room. I am very polite about it and usually make a joke about how much room I am taking up. I would never take their cart and move it myself so I have enough room. It's rude.

Also, just because I'm thinking about it now... what if it was a person in a wheelchair and not a baby in a stroller. Since when is it ok to physically move someone that is in your way? What gives someone the right to do that?

Message edited 8/21/2015 1:00:30 PM.

Posted 8/21/15 1:00 PM
 

LI-Joy

Member since 10/07

2910 total posts

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Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

I agree with you. I would never touch anyone's stroller or cart if their child was in it.

Posted 8/21/15 1:03 PM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

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Allison

Would you have reacted the same as I did?

i personally wouldn't care if someone moved my stroller a foot or so, so to me yes I think the OP overreacted.

And to answer some of the people comments on the push pull thing.....I never saw it or even heard of it until LIF. It was something that never occurred to me to do. I still have never seen in it the grocery store.....In fact when I shop I rarely even see a stroller but it may just be the times I shop.

Posted 8/21/15 1:19 PM
 

jlm2008
LIF Adult

Member since 1/10

5092 total posts

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Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Posted by alli3131

i personally wouldn't care if someone moved my stroller a foot or so, so to me yes I think the OP overreacted.

And to answer some of the people comments on the push pull thing.....I never saw it or even heard of it until LIF. It was something that never occurred to me to do. I still have never seen in it the grocery store.....In fact when I shop I rarely even see a stroller but it may just be the times I shop.



I thought maybe I was the only one who never saw the push pull of stroller and cart! I've been food shopping for 36 years, never seen it and I'm in all different supermarkets at least 2x a week!

Posted 8/21/15 2:09 PM
 

JSDB
<3

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Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

To answer your question:

1. No, I don't think you overreacted, she shouldn't have moved your stroller. But, you could have apologized for being in her way. I have moved carts but I wouldn't move someone's stroller -- I would have said, excuse me and waited for you to move it. I have moved carts left wholly unattended to pass by but if someone is there I just say excuse me and wait a few seconds. But that's assuming you were right there by the stroller.

2. The comments about you not going to the store with your child are absurd. You do what you need to do.

3. Unsolicited advice but... I never did the cart and stroller thing. When my son was very little I put him in the carseat in the cart and did grocery store jenga with moderate success. If he was asleep when I got to the grocery store I would also sometimes take just the stroller and snap in the car seat -- our stroller has a large basket and I would hang some insulated bags from the mommy hook on the handle and I could get a large shopping done. I have done the push-cart-while-carry-and-swing-carseat when he got cranky. But once the weather warmed up a little I started wearing him grocery shopping and I still do now even though he's big enough to sit in the seat. It makes everything SO much easier and enjoyable for both of us! There's a great local babywearing group if its something you want to get involved with! Lifechanging for me especially as I am now a mom of 2

Posted 8/21/15 2:19 PM
 

jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us

Member since 4/13

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Jessica

Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Posted by secretlyTTCagain

To answer your question:

1. No, I don't think you overreacted, she shouldn't have moved your stroller. But, you could have apologized for being in her way. I have moved carts but I wouldn't move someone's stroller -- I would have said, excuse me and waited for you to move it. I have moved carts left wholly unattended to pass by but if someone is there I just say excuse me and wait a few seconds. But that's assuming you were right there by the stroller.

2. The comments about you not going to the store with your child are absurd. You do what you need to do.

3. Unsolicited advice but... I never did the cart and stroller thing. When my son was very little I put him in the carseat in the cart and did grocery store jenga with moderate success. If he was asleep when I got to the grocery store I would also sometimes take just the stroller and snap in the car seat -- our stroller has a large basket and I would hang some insulated bags from the mommy hook on the handle and I could get a large shopping done. I have done the push-cart-while-carry-and-swing-carseat when he got cranky. But once the weather warmed up a little I started wearing him grocery shopping and I still do now even though he's big enough to sit in the seat. It makes everything SO much easier and enjoyable for both of us! There's a great local babywearing group if its something you want to get involved with! Lifechanging for me especially as I am now a mom of 2



Chat Icon Chat Icon

I also have the B-Agile stroller, and since DS came home i've been running errands with him in that. It has a decent sized storage area on the bottom which I use. If I need to do a large shopping trip, I would not go on my own just with DS... I would have been too stressed, and at 3 months PP, yeah, no way. I would wait to do big shopping until DH is home so that you can go together, or so that one watches DC.

I'm amazed at how insensitive people on here have been to a NEW MOTHER! The OP is the new mother of a THREE MONTH OLD, she's not a seasoned veteran. OF COURSE she's going to be upset when someone moves her BABY! Try to remember how you felt when your first was only 3 months old.

Posted 8/21/15 2:28 PM
 

JSDB
<3

Member since 1/13

1329 total posts

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Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Posted by jessnbrian

I'm amazed at how insensitive people on here have been to a NEW MOTHER! The OP is the new mother of a THREE MONTH OLD, she's not a seasoned veteran. OF COURSE she's going to be upset when someone moves her BABY! Try to remember how you felt when your first was only 3 months old.



Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis.

Posted 8/21/15 2:29 PM
 

BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre

Member since 5/05

9320 total posts

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Mrs. B

Re: Would you have reacted the same as I did?

Posted by secretlyTTCagain

Posted by jessnbrian

I'm amazed at how insensitive people on here have been to a NEW MOTHER! The OP is the new mother of a THREE MONTH OLD, she's not a seasoned veteran. OF COURSE she's going to be upset when someone moves her BABY! Try to remember how you felt when your first was only 3 months old.



Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis.



Smartest thing posted on this entire thread - some people need to remember what it was like when they had their first baby and how their emotions were all over the place so early on.

Posted 8/21/15 2:39 PM
 
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