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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Unfriendly moms...
The whole post is a crazy read to me.
OP was looking for a "hi"
She was not digging in the woman's bag for a snack or looking to exchange numbers.
It is very sad when a friendly hello is not returned and this is the norm to some
Life is about building a community.
So the other mom might have been an introvert, might have worked all day. Might have been a sitter. Might have been diabetic.
What about OP?
Maybe she is an extrovert mom who feels like it is effing strange not to say hello to another human being sitting closely at the beach.
Someone was very wrong in this situation. It was not OP. That's life. People will say hi to you.
But I don't live in NY anymore.
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Posted 7/18/14 9:14 AM  |
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evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
I've come across a few moms like this at DD's daycare.
I chalk it up to the fact that lots of people in this world are just a$$holes. Becoming a mom doesn't cure them of that.
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| Posted 7/18/14 10:03 AM |
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MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!
Member since 8/09 6631 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by Janice
The whole post is a crazy read to me.
OP was looking for a "hi"
She was not digging in the woman's bag for a snack or looking to exchange numbers.
It is very sad when a friendly hello is not returned and this is the norm to some
Life is about building a community.
So the other mom might have been an introvert, might have worked all day. Might have been a sitter. Might have been diabetic.
What about OP?
Maybe she is an extrovert mom who feels like it is effing strange not to say hello to another human being sitting closely at the beach.
Someone was very wrong in this situation. It was not OP. That's life. People will say hi to you.
But I don't live in NY anymore.
Exactly, it's not as if you can see you didn't see someone. You can always say hi. My DS is super social, so I probably do talk a lot more to people than I used to, but being next to a mom, while our kids play, and to sit in silence, seems extremely awkward to me. Say hi, ask how old the kid is, do they go to school, and that's all it needs to be.
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| Posted 7/18/14 10:03 AM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
It's sad that yes, there are unfriendly moms out there. Sometimes they are just stuck-up and don't like the look of you and don't want to bother with you. Other times it's because they have their friends and aren't looking to make other friends...It can be a million things. I've come across plenty of unfriendly moms lol but, some of them, years later, ended up being good friends or even just ok friends that I saw in a different light. It stinks but, in LI I think it's par for the course  I am totally not like that but, as I've lived here for a while and my kids have gotten older I've become less outgoing with strangers unless they approach us first - mostly because it's true not everyone is nice and warm! But, don't take it to heart, that's life honestly - I find that even now that my kids are in school - we have a lot of friends but, there is always that one mom that is super cold to me for no reason! It used to bother me and now I just stay away
The only think I did want to say was about the OP and posters who said they feel so bad for their super friendly DC's when they are "rejected" and another child doesn't want to play with them - it breaks your heart. I've been on both sides of this and I have to say that there are toddlers that are so shy that it really makes them anxious and uncomfortable to be approached and relentlessly engaged by other toddlers. I would hate this with my DS - he was so so shy that it would really bother me when kids would bombard him and their parents wouldn't pull in the reigns! Not all toddlers are the same! It's not a bad thing or a bad parenting thing - some kids just haven't come out of their shell yet (as an aside my DS is now almost 7 and is the complete opposite!). My DD was and continues to be very very outgoing and approaches every child remotely near her age to try to befriend them. But, when I can see the child isn't receptive I remind her that the child doesn't know her and some kids are shy and it makes them scared when strangers come on too strong and I redirect her away from the child. Just wanted to put that out there!
I'm sorry you had this experience 
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| Posted 7/18/14 10:06 AM |
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My2Girlz11
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/11 785 total posts
Name:
Corrie
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
The person was rude and probably just wanted to make a phone call.
I would do as another poster said. If you want to meet a group go to the library or look into meetup.com. When my daughters were that age I joined to find kids around their age to play with. We would get together weekly or every two weeks in public settings. We also gathered in people's homes for small playdates once we got to know each other better.
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| Posted 7/18/14 10:18 AM |
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ISpoilHim
I think I got this
Member since 11/10 1523 total posts
Name:
K
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Unfriendly moms...
I could have been the mom you talked to. (I wasn't but could have been). I am extremely, painfully shy. I talk to no one. Just going to the market is painful for me and I try to rush as much as I can. Talking to people is painful for me. I get a knot in my stomach, my heart races, I feel dizzy. Does that make me rude? If I am out and someone says hi to me, I usually say hi and walk away as quickly as I can. I do not want to engage in small talk. I limit my outings to the park and such because of this. Fortunately, DS does not like to walk on the sand, so I stay by him the whole time we are there.
I have a limited amount of people that I am social with. And most of them I have known for at least 10 years and we are just now getting to the point of being social. But they stuck around due to circumstances.
I get that you were trying to be friendly. But for some people it just is not an option. The anxiety of situations like that can be overwhelming. In fact, if we are the only ones at a park and other people show up, I will actually leave because of my anxiety.
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| Posted 7/18/14 10:40 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Unfriendly moms...
I am very outgoing and friendly and I get that not everyone is but this seems rude to me, I would be annoyed !
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| Posted 7/18/14 11:04 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Unfriendly moms...
I would never get offended over this. There are so many variables that could make this woman not be friendly with you. Who cares really? She was a stranger, and will continue to be one. Move on, lots of other mommy friends in the sea ;)
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| Posted 7/18/14 11:09 AM |
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MrsW2010
Mommy of two!
Member since 5/10 2202 total posts
Name:
Jill
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
I always smile at everyone... I don't initiate usually, but im friendly whenever someone talks to me... I usually meet other people at the park and we chat...
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| Posted 7/18/14 11:13 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
I don't see any reason not to return ANY person'a friendly 'hello' - I commute to NYC every single day - ..........if someone says hello or smiles at me, I politely acknowledge them - hottie in a suit, homeless man, woman sitting across from me on the train - doesn't matter - they're all human beings. WHAT is with people being such miserable assholes?
I'm sorry - but IMO there is NO reason to be rude to another mother IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN !!!!
Your kids behave the way you do - I see no reason to blow someone off immediately just b/c you 'don't want to be bothered' - You know what? it's called common courtesy, having manners, knowing how to behave like an adult - be a grown up, smile, say Hello, nice to meet you and shake the person's hand. If the conversation is going nowhere, politely excuse yourself and move on w/ your life. I'm appalled at the number of people who find it perfectly acceptable to treat a complete stranger making at attempt at conversation with such disrespect. - ESPECIALLY when they are with their kids !!!!  
ETA - For the record, my husband is very intorverted and hates small talk and meeting new people. He is very uncomfortable with it, but he sucks it up and deals , because it's POLITE. And because kids are 'shy' - adults are rude.
Message edited 7/18/2014 11:39:33 AM.
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| Posted 7/18/14 11:37 AM |
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Bellaocchi
Hope Faith Love
Member since 2/07 5694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
To the OP:
I'm sorry this happened to you. I too am new to a new area. I recently moved out if state from Long Island, NY and I'm experiencing the "unfriendly mom" issue here too.
It sucks. A friendly hello and a smile is not a difficult thing to do whether your an introvert or not. It's called being polite and having manners!
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| Posted 7/18/14 11:09 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Quite frankly, babies and dogs are great ice breakers for talking to people you don't know!  I'm sorry this woman wasn't friendly to you.
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| Posted 7/19/14 5:40 AM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by ISpoilHim
I could have been the mom you talked to. (I wasn't but could have been). I am extremely, painfully shy. I talk to no one. Just going to the market is painful for me and I try to rush as much as I can. Talking to people is painful for me. I get a knot in my stomach, my heart races, I feel dizzy. Does that make me rude? If I am out and someone says hi to me, I usually say hi and walk away as quickly as I can. I do not want to engage in small talk. I limit my outings to the park and such because of this. Fortunately, DS does not like to walk on the sand, so I stay by him the whole time we are there.
I have a limited amount of people that I am social with. And most of them I have known for at least 10 years and we are just now getting to the point of being social. But they stuck around due to circumstances.
I get that you were trying to be friendly. But for some people it just is not an option. The anxiety of situations like that can be overwhelming. In fact, if we are the only ones at a park and other people show up, I will actually leave because of my anxiety.
Have you tried to seek help with this? Sound like an anxiety disorder...
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| Posted 7/19/14 6:57 AM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
A lot of people are just nasty snobs, others are shy or socially awkward. I tend to put myself out there by being friendly, some people are receptive & others aren't. What can you do?
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| Posted 7/19/14 9:15 AM |
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stargazerlily
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/11 706 total posts
Name:
Lara
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by REKoz412
Curious if anyone of you who expressed being put off by OP's gesture has ever moved to an unknown, brand new place? I have several times and all of them were out of state. Not until I moved back to LI did I EVER get a "cold response" from anyone. By "cold", I mean though not rude, I knew she wasn't interested in engaging at all.
How sad that people are so self absorbed that they cannot return a friendly gesture. If you put yourself in OP's shoes, you would understand how lonely it is to be in a new town. God knows you don't have to be bff's but where is the empathy out there?
Flame away...
I'm socially awkward and literally never know what to say to people who are my friends, let alone a stranger. People confuse my awkwardness for rudeness and that is extremely upsetting to me because the last thing I would do is be rude to anyone. It actually becomes a stressful situation for me and I don't want that when I'm trying to enjoy a day with my kid. That being said, if I was *sure* someone was interested in talking to me it would take that first layer of discomfort away and I would try at least for the sake of my DD.
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| Posted 7/19/14 8:23 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Hi OP,
sorry for your experience. 
You didn't deserve that. Yes, she very well may have been having a bad day. Ignore all the bs. She owed you a simple hello. Not a hard task. Sorry.
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| Posted 7/19/14 8:41 PM |
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wakemeup
Member since 10/13 1397 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
I just wanted to say, when the OP originally posted, she never said that the mom never even said "hi" back, just that she brushed her off, so that is where my response was coming from. I'd never ever be rude and not say hi back but I would not really engage in conversation, I am just not a social person with people I don't know - and like I said previously I would totally let our kids play together, we would not need to be friends for that to happen.
When the OP clarified, it does seem as if the mom was being rude, but we all realize that we don't know the whole story... as hard as it is not to judge since we don't know her we really can't.
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| Posted 7/20/14 8:49 AM |
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lulugrrl
My 3 Blessings
Member since 3/06 6551 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
There could be a lot of reasons this could happen, maybe she was just having an awful day (never know), but should have still given a smile back, and not be rude. Though I have found Long Island to be culturally different with personal exchanges compared to other places. I am from a small town upstate and also lived in the midwest, and I really miss the friendliness of those places. I am shy, but LIKE meeting new people. However, find myself not putting myself out there so much because I am fearful of the response. It took a few years, but I did make some good friends, there are LOADS of awesome people here, the exchanges are just very different, and I find it takes a long time to crack the outer shell.
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| Posted 7/21/14 11:04 AM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by Janice
The whole post is a crazy read to me.
OP was looking for a "hi"
She was not digging in the woman's bag for a snack or looking to exchange numbers.
It is very sad when a friendly hello is not returned and this is the norm to some
Life is about building a community.
So the other mom might have been an introvert, might have worked all day. Might have been a sitter. Might have been diabetic.
What about OP?
Maybe she is an extrovert mom who feels like it is effing strange not to say hello to another human being sitting closely at the beach.
Someone was very wrong in this situation. It was not OP. That's life. People will say hi to you.
But I don't live in NY anymore.
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| Posted 7/21/14 11:29 AM |
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Ayne11
Yep
Member since 1/09 18021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
ITA! There is no excuse to be an asshole. None.
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| Posted 7/21/14 11:52 AM |
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