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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Posted by Lillykat
Posted by MamaNDaddyof3
you have to have a pass to go to this pool which they do not have
he leaves her at my house all the time to play..... they even send their son over also
I just find it weird that he would invite himself to hang out with us
he said we will come also it will be a fun time
I get what a lot of people are saying that they want to supervise but I don't want to hang out with him lol (I don't know him that well)
I would never just tell another parent
hey Im gonna come and bring my other kids too
I understand what you are saying ...but I think it is very different having a child over to your house without the parents versus going to a pool where you are watching your child and theirs. And no offense to you but some parents are more watchful around water than others. How old is this child? I don't remember you mentioning it. Is she an amazing swimmer? Do you get in with them? I don't think the pass thing is an issue depending on the circumstances. Did he pay for himself and the kids to enter as guests or did he come along and expect you to pay? I would leave my child at a friends home but would expect to come if they are going to a pool. We bring people to our village pool and the parents often bring their siblings, but they pay. I can definitely understand the uncomfortableness you mentioned, but I can also see why a father might come and bring a sibling too. Many parents have trouble watching the 2-4 kids of their own at a pool never mind a playmate as well.
Etd to add I would decline in that situation but was just trying to offer why the situation might have presented as it did.
I agree with this perspective as well.
We don't have a pool by us, but have a water park within walking distance of the bay.
It's amazing the amount of young kids---even toddler age---running around unsupervised.
I also have seen like one adult with around 5 or 6 young kids and I don't consider that adequate supervision and I know the lifeguards don't because they ask them to leave.
Sometimes it's really not about us, but what is best for our children.
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Posted 7/7/14 7:44 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Mrs213
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Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
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Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
What are the stipulations surrounding this pool? Why would some community members have a pass but not others?
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| Posted 7/7/14 7:54 PM |
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RainaK
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 904 total posts
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R
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Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I don't think he's hitting on you. I would just feel weird in a what am I gonna talk to this guy about kind of way.
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| Posted 7/7/14 8:55 PM |
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Goobster
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:)
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I would invite a child and never allow my child to go to a pool with someone else, so I see nothing wrong with the dad inviting himself (and of course he has to bring his son if he is watching him). He did so to keep his child safe IMO.
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| Posted 7/7/14 9:06 PM |
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Goobster
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Posted by Ayne11
He's being a parent. If he didn't go now that would be weird.
 I would not invite someone else's child to a pool with me without expecting that a parent would want to come along (well at least a parent who has concerns about their child and pool safety).
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| Posted 7/7/14 9:07 PM |
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jgl
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Posted by Lillykat
Posted by MamaNDaddyof3
you have to have a pass to go to this pool which they do not have
he leaves her at my house all the time to play..... they even send their son over also
I just find it weird that he would invite himself to hang out with us
he said we will come also it will be a fun time
I get what a lot of people are saying that they want to supervise but I don't want to hang out with him lol (I don't know him that well)
I would never just tell another parent
hey Im gonna come and bring my other kids too
I understand what you are saying ...but I think it is very different having a child over to your house without the parents versus going to a pool where you are watching your child and theirs. And no offense to you but some parents are more watchful around water than others.
This was my thinking! Pool is different than playing at someones. Also would you be driving her? Im not okay with that either
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| Posted 7/7/14 9:10 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
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Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I get how it would be awkward, but I think he probably just doesn't feel comfortable with his daughter going to a pool without him there to watch her, especially if she's not a strong swimmer yet.
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| Posted 7/7/14 9:18 PM |
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Honestly I think it is just the way he was like Oh we are gonna go with you
and they actually just had a baby in April which they asked me to watch( I am a Nanny) so I don't think its that they don't "trust me"
its just that I didn't feel right about hanging out with him by the pool while my husband is at work and so is his wife and I guess that is my issue
but I do feel he should've asked "hey do you mind if my son and I come also?"
I think that would've been the nice way to go about it
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| Posted 7/7/14 9:26 PM |
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itsbabytime
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Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
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Me
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Posted by MamaNDaddyof3
Honestly I think it is just the way he was like Oh we are gonna go with you
and they actually just had a baby in April which they asked me to watch( I am a Nanny) so I don't think its that they don't "trust me"
its just that I didn't feel right about hanging out with him by the pool while my husband is at work and so is his wife and I guess that is my issue
but I do feel he should've asked "hey do you mind if my son and I come also?"
I think that would've been the nice way to go about it
I agree with what pretty much everyone else on this thread has posted. I think what you wrote above is reading way too much into this - I mean, it's not your backyard, you could very easily run into another dad friend at the pool? I really don't see what the issue is in that sense AT ALL and I'm wondering if there is something else going on here why you seem to think this more about him wanting to hang out with you than supervise his DD. Honestly, watching an infant and taking my kid to the pool are two VERY different things IMO. There is honestly no one I would allow to take my children to a pool at this stage. How old is this girl? Many have already asked but I don't see your answer. Personally, if someone invited my child to the pool I would assume they would EXPECT and WANT me to come with them! I wouldn't ever invite a child to a pool without their parents - unless they are a teenager etc.
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| Posted 7/7/14 9:42 PM |
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islandersgirl74
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Michelle
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Posted by NervousNell
I don't really find it odd. Maybe he isn't comfortable with his DD going to the pool with another adult. Maybe he wants to go to supervise. I know I wouldn't let DD go to the pool without me. No offense to you, as I am sure you are super responsible, but when it comes to a body of water, the more sets of eyes the better.
Said perfectly.
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| Posted 7/7/14 9:51 PM |
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Hofstra26
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Posted by NervousNell
I don't really find it odd. Maybe he isn't comfortable with his DD going to the pool with another adult. Maybe he wants to go to supervise. I know I wouldn't let DD go to the pool without me. No offense to you, as I am sure you are super responsible, but when it comes to a body of water, the more sets of eyes the better.
This exactly.
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| Posted 7/7/14 9:57 PM |
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Ayne11
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Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Wait, is the issue that he doesn't have a pool pass & you do, so therefore he's piggy backing on your membership to take himself and his kids to the pool?
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| Posted 7/7/14 10:00 PM |
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I just meant I don't know him so it would be like what am I going to talk to him about
Aren't you ever just NOT in the mood to have to talk and chat with another adult and just be with the kids?
Maybe I'm coming off wrong, I am not angry with the dad nor am I insinuating he was hitting on me. I just didn't want to spend the whole time at the pool worrying about having something to talk about
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| Posted 7/7/14 10:06 PM |
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BargainMama
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Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Posted by MamaNDaddyof3
I just meant I don't know him so it would be like what am I going to talk to him about
Aren't you ever just NOT in the mood to have to talk and chat with another adult and just be with the kids?
Maybe I'm coming off wrong, I am not angry with the dad nor am I insinuating he was hitting on me. I just didn't want to spend the whole time at the pool worrying about having something to talk about
I totally get you! Having to stand there in my bathing suit making small talk with a dad I barely know is just not my thing.
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| Posted 7/7/14 10:12 PM |
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MrsT809
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Posted by MamaNDaddyof3
I just meant I don't know him so it would be like what am I going to talk to him about
Aren't you ever just NOT in the mood to have to talk and chat with another adult and just be with the kids?
Maybe I'm coming off wrong, I am not angry with the dad nor am I insinuating he was hitting on me. I just didn't want to spend the whole time at the pool worrying about having something to talk about
I do understand what you're saying, but I would just chalk it up to him wanting to supervise his child in the pool and obviously he can't do that without bringing the other one. You were already taking a few kids so I'd be glad for the extra set of eyes. He may have been jumping on the opportunity but he may have been genuinely concerned about sending DD and didn't want to come out and say that. There's no way of knowing and it's totally understandable if he did just want to keep an eye on her. The pool is different than playing at your house.
As far as having to socialize, yes I might be worried that it would be uncomfortable but I find it pretty easy to keep up conversation when people have kids similar in age. If you don't want to chat or it gets uncomfortable I'd hop in the pool with the kids!
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| Posted 7/7/14 10:16 PM |
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Goobster
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Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
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:)
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I don't mean to sound rude but lesson learned. Don't ask someone's child to go to the pool with you if you don't want to chance their parent tagging along. That's all.
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| Posted 7/7/14 10:18 PM |
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by MamaNDaddyof3
I just meant I don't know him so it would be like what am I going to talk to him about
Aren't you ever just NOT in the mood to have to talk and chat with another adult and just be with the kids?
Maybe I'm coming off wrong, I am not angry with the dad nor am I insinuating he was hitting on me. I just didn't want to spend the whole time at the pool worrying about having something to talk about
I totally get you! Having to stand there in my bathing suit making small talk with a dad I barely know is just not my thing.
ok thank you!!
I felt like I was coming off like some crazy person!
and honestly an above poster said you could run into any Dad at the pool so they don't see what the big deal is.......my answer to that is I would say hi and that's all
I am not really one of those social talking to all the moms and dads etc
if I have the kids I am really with the kids
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| Posted 7/7/14 10:18 PM |
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drpepper318
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Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
If you look at it from the other side, did you ask him first before inviting his daughter to come to the pool with you? Maybe he wouldn't be cool with it for whatever reason. I don't think I'd like it if some parent invited my kid to the pool without asking me first if it's ok if he could go... and I'd want to go along to watch him anyway.
Either way I don't blame him.
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| Posted 7/7/14 10:21 PM |
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cds58019
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Member since 6/08 4276 total posts
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Candice
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Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
If I put myself in his position, I would totally do the same thing he did. Im not going to ask if it's ok if I can go to the pool my child is going to be swimming in, I'll politely tell you Im going just like he did. I don't care if we won't have anything to talk about or if it might be awkward....safety comes first. I wouldn't think twice about it if it happened to me.
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| Posted 7/7/14 10:40 PM |
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
definitely have a new perspective now..... I didn't think of a lot of this until I posted.
I guess if I don't want to deal with that situation then I just wont invite other peoples children
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| Posted 7/7/14 11:07 PM |
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lazybug
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by MamaNDaddyof3
I just meant I don't know him so it would be like what am I going to talk to him about
Aren't you ever just NOT in the mood to have to talk and chat with another adult and just be with the kids?
Maybe I'm coming off wrong, I am not angry with the dad nor am I insinuating he was hitting on me. I just didn't want to spend the whole time at the pool worrying about having something to talk about
I totally get you! Having to stand there in my bathing suit making small talk with a dad I barely know is just not my thing.
This is exactly how I feel. I would be mortified, but that's me. I get what everyone is saying about the dad wanting to stay with his daughter but I would not want to hang with him. The whole purpose of your trip to the pool, I assume is to relax while the kids are occupied and having fun. I wouldn't want to make small talk with someone I don't know well. This is probably why I have a hard time making play dates with people, lol.
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| Posted 7/7/14 11:15 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
So, what happened? Did you not go?
I get you about the small talk, but I feel like that happens anyway--I would always run into school friends at our community pool & my mom would end up hanging out with them, but she was never really friends with any of them outside of that.
I also feel like parents have built in small talk--just talk about the kids.
So, I don't think it is weird that he wanted to come, but I could see how it would be uncomfortable.
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| Posted 7/7/14 11:32 PM |
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my3boys
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Melissa
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I would feel uncomfortable also. It's one thing if you talk to the person all the time but when you don't it can be uncomfortable. I have 3 kids and I love socializing but sometimes I just like to take my kids and their friends and spend a day with just them. And it's always a blast! And I also know pools that you need passes in order to get in so therefore you all would of have had to driven together? That would add to additional stress not only what are you guys going to talk about, but now worrying on how long you can stay for. Especially since you mentioned he was bringing a baby also. And I have to disagree with a lot of people because if I was not comfortable with my kid going to a pool, I would not invite myself! I would simply explain that I appreciate the invite but I'm just not ready to allow my kid to go to a pool without my supervision (hoping the parent would invite me ) hope your day worked out for you :)
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| Posted 7/8/14 12:19 AM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Posted by Mrs213
What are the stipulations surrounding this pool? Why would some community members have a pass but not others?
Well in our village you have to join the pool to get a pass. Anyone in the village can join but it is expensive for those who do not go regularly so some choose not to join if they won't use it enough to make the cost worthwhile. In our village it "used" to be if you didn't join you couldn't go. Only guests from outside town can get in. They relaxed that rule this year. It is not cheap to bring guests either.
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| Posted 7/8/14 7:04 AM |
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Posted by Goobster
Posted by Ayne11
He's being a parent. If he didn't go now that would be weird.
I would not invite someone else's child to a pool with me without expecting that a parent would want to come along (well at least a parent who has concerns about their child and pool safety).
exactly my thoughts!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 7/8/14 7:50 AM |
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