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Am I a bad mom?

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Pages: 1 [2]

babymakes3
Almost there!

Member since 7/06

7376 total posts

Name:

Re: Am I a bad mom?

I would get grief if I threw a big Baptism party in my family! All of ours are usually coffee and cake, maybe some light apps and dishes if its around lunchtime. It's always at home too, definitely not a catering place.

No you're not a bad mom. Smart, yes. A 2pm Baptism, followed by coffee, tea and cake is perfect!

Posted 3/21/13 1:50 PM
 
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SandL
LIF Adolescent

Member since 4/12

541 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Am I a bad mom?

You will never be able to please everyone, nor should you strive too. People will always complain or have something to say, so just do what is right for you . Just ignore everyone.

Posted 3/21/13 1:54 PM
 

gina409
TWINS!

Member since 12/09

27635 total posts

Name:
g

Re: Am I a bad mom?

Posted by JDubs

well unless the people in your family are willing to pay for a big party then they can shove it. Do what is right for you guys.. after all isn't the day supposed to be about the baptism itself? I think its perfectly fine if you do just coffee and cake, if it works for you.



this sometimes people suck

Posted 3/21/13 1:57 PM
 

Annie91606
Brotherly love

Member since 12/07

1814 total posts

Name:
Anne

Re: Am I a bad mom?

Posted by eroxgirl

1. Not throwing a big party doesn't make ANYONE a bad mother.

2. Not throwing a big party because you know you can't afford it actually makes you a GOOD mother. There is no prize given out for most amount of debt incurred to celebrate your children.

3. If people will only come because they're expecting a free meal, and will in turn, NOT attend because there will only be "light refreshments" (which is how I would phrase it personally, not that you asked) then those people kind of SUCK and would be all the more reason to keep it small. They should come because they want to celebrate your son's special day.

People, family especially, are always going to have opinions. You need to learn how to ignore them, especially about things like parties.



I agree with this100 percent.

I know many who spent over a grand on baptism and first birthday parties. The baby who is honored usually naps right through them.

If you have the money and time, fine. If not - you do what you are comfortable with.

Posted 3/21/13 2:00 PM
 

Paramount
Sweet!

Member since 7/12

4272 total posts

Name:

Re: Am I a bad mom?

Im sorry.

Jipping your son?

Out of what? Memories that will last a lifetime?

A day for him to remember for the rest of his life?

A day to play with all his cousins?

(at 2 months old, right?)

Are jipping him out of being blessed by your preist and being welcomed into the religion? To have the love and support of his family there that day. Of the promises by everyone to support him and be there for him?

For doing right by him?

Its about celebrating his birth and his role in your family, and about blessing him in his religion. NOT about a big party THEY want.

F them all. Do what YOU want, not what THEY want. You dont have to answer to anyone.

Posted 3/21/13 2:02 PM
 

evenedan
Need a little sunshine

Member since 9/05

3843 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Am I a bad mom?

A bad mom would book a party she can't afford for the sake of appearances or pleasing others. I think realizing your baby isn't going to know or care what kind of party you have and being financially responsible makes you a smart mom!

The day is about your baby being baptized. There's nothing wrong with keeping the celebration very low key. If you do finger foods and desserts buffet style that's fine. The people who really care about you and your kid will be happy to be a part of it no matter what you serve!

There's always going to be people who pass judgement. You've got to learn to just say eff 'em!

Message edited 3/21/2013 2:07:45 PM.

Posted 3/21/13 2:06 PM
 

islandersgirl74
Love Being A Mommy!

Member since 6/06

5804 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Re: Am I a bad mom?

You are not a bad mom and I hear ya! I also want to have an imtimate celebration for DD baptism. Thatn means just the grandparents and our brothers and sisters and their children. Once we start inviting extended family and friends, plus all the kids, that will turn into a huge party and like previous posters said I would rather put that money in her bank account. My sister did the same thing and got grief from family and friends, but the way I look at it, this is my child and we will do what we want to do. Don't let others influence you.

Posted 3/21/13 2:09 PM
 

Nik09
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

1982 total posts

Name:
Nikole

Re: Am I a bad mom?

Posted by forevermylilgirls

word of advice...don't listen to anyone. It's your son, you do whatever you want. And whatever you decide, don't feel guilty about it!!!!!



Exactly!

Posted 3/21/13 2:21 PM
 

BeachGal
LIF Adult

Member since 2/10

2827 total posts

Name:
J

Re: Am I a bad mom?

No way! I don't fuss over my parties and I love my babies just as much as the mom who bought the $200 cake! I'm the type of mom who would rather give my kid the $200 for his bank account instead!

Posted 3/21/13 7:04 PM
 

juju
Welcome to the World!

Member since 5/05

6747 total posts

Name:

Re: Am I a bad mom?

Word of Advice....Do what you want! Otherwise you will be resentful and we always remember about the Baptism you didn't have. The same happened with me and although family had GREAT intentions, it wasn't the Baptism I envisioned for my daughter.

Also, I had my DD baptism on the older side (9mos). Take your sweet time!

Posted 3/21/13 7:53 PM
 

JenBenMen
party of five

Member since 9/06

11343 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: Am I a bad mom?

Dont listen to anyone.

I spent small fortunes on my boys baptisms and I look back now and it was a big waste of $$

My daughter is 5 months old and we still dont have a baptism date. People are talking. Just wait til they see it will be a small dinner/coffee...lol...they will die

u know what? screw everyone else

do what YOU want

Posted 3/21/13 9:17 PM
 

MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *

Member since 2/09

6217 total posts

Name:
Gina

Re: Am I a bad mom?

LOL. It's so funny that people get so worked up about something that really is none their damn business... I say, have the type of party you want and if they are that offended, well then, don't come. They are taking the joy out of the celebration, not you!!!

Ps: I decided not to baptize. I got a lot... And I mean a lot... Of back talk from family about my decision... They still talk... But too bad... They all had their parenting years and did what they wanted to do... Now it's our turn Chat Icon

Posted 3/21/13 10:08 PM
 

FergieK
Loving my girls

Member since 7/09

2533 total posts

Name:
Fergie

Re: Am I a bad mom?

Posted by VeeJay

Posted by forevermylilgirls

word of advice...don't listen to anyone. It's your son, you do whatever you want. And whatever you decide, don't feel guilty about it!!!!!



This.



Agreed. Go big or Go small just do it your way. Now starts a long line of what people will say you should or shouldnt do with your child. If you want small party in the afternoon with a handful of people GO FOR it. Its your decision and sometimes not everyone gets what they want and it sounds bad "but thats the way the cookie crumbles" as my Father would say.

Posted 3/21/13 10:19 PM
 

cj7305
=)

Member since 8/05

12210 total posts

Name:

Re: Am I a bad mom?

I had been sick at the around the time of DD's christening and just didn't have it in me toto do a big party. I ended up having like 16 people (immediate family only) in a lovely restaurant and it was perfect. Some people made me feel guilty but you know what, it's my baby and my choice. Same with you. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty!Chat Icon

Posted 3/21/13 10:26 PM
 

SweetPeaMomma
LIF Adolescent

Member since 7/07

806 total posts

Name:
jen

Re: Am I a bad mom?

you have to do what is best for you and your family - that's you, DH, and baby. don't let anyone make you feel bad, you're being a good momma by setting the standard now and doing what you guys need to do. i think it's great that you're doing it your way.

Posted 3/21/13 11:01 PM
 

JennZ
MY LIFE!!

Member since 8/05

25463 total posts

Name:

Am I a bad mom?

Stop telling people everything. Send the invites, if they have a problem, tell them stay home. No reason to kill yourself over a christening. Some people are just OOC and need to get a grip. Do what's best for YOU and YOUR family.

Posted 3/22/13 4:50 AM
 

mamares
LIF Infant

Member since 5/11

199 total posts

Name:
melissa

Re: Am I a bad mom?

don't tell anyone anything, just plan it the way u want it. they will deal

Posted 3/22/13 1:36 PM
 

GottaHaveFaith
LIF Adult

Member since 10/09

1443 total posts

Name:
Kelly

Re: Am I a bad mom?

Posted by eroxgirl

1. Not throwing a big party doesn't make ANYONE a bad mother.

2. Not throwing a big party because you know you can't afford it actually makes you a GOOD mother. There is no prize given out for most amount of debt incurred to celebrate your children.

3. If people will only come because they're expecting a free meal, and will in turn, NOT attend because there will only be "light refreshments" (which is how I would phrase it personally, not that you asked) then those people kind of SUCK and would be all the more reason to keep it small. They should come because they want to celebrate your son's special day.

People, family especially, are always going to have opinions. You need to learn how to ignore them, especially about things like parties.



ITA...All This!

Posted 3/22/13 2:54 PM
 

nancy6485
So in love

Member since 10/05

3363 total posts

Name:
Nancy

Re: Am I a bad mom?

no! if it makes you feel any better, DS is 15 weeks and we have not picked a date!

Posted 3/22/13 3:35 PM
 

Zippy12
LIF Infant

Member since 4/12

211 total posts

Name:

Re: Am I a bad mom?

Posted by nancy6485

no! if it makes you feel any better, DS is 15 weeks and we have not picked a date!



Same here!

Posted 3/22/13 5:44 PM
 

JerseyMamaOf3
Boo!

Member since 6/05

15144 total posts

Name:

Re: Am I a bad mom?

I don't see a problem with that. The only time I could see it as a problem is if you have majority of family traveling more than a hour. For example, I live in NJ, ALL of my family is on LI or in Queens. To have people drive 1.5-2 hours sometimes + depending on traffic and then sit through a ceremony, I just couldn't do it.

Posted 3/22/13 5:58 PM
 

mlny
blessed <3

Member since 10/09

2113 total posts

Name:
M

Re: Am I a bad mom?

people are ridiculous

Posted 3/22/13 7:42 PM
 

whoababy1
Love my little girls <3

Member since 8/10

1418 total posts

Name:

Am I a bad mom?

DO WHAT YOU WANT!!!!

I felt exactly the same as you and my in-laws gave us SUCH a hard time about it. We gave in and I regret it and am still bitter about it.

Same thing happened with DD's 1st birthday. I am still bitter about it.

I have now learned that DH and I make our decisions.

You are not a bad mom and don't let other people make you feel that way!!

Posted 3/22/13 8:06 PM
 
Pages: 1 [2]
 

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