LIFamilies.com - Long Island, NY


RSS
Articles Business Directory Blog Real Estate Community Forum Shop My Family Contests

Log In Chat Index Search Rules Lingo Create Account

Quick navigation:   

WWYD? Daycare related

Posted By Message

lucky1007
My Princess is Here!

Member since 11/11

1131 total posts

Name:

WWYD? Daycare related

This is a bit of a vent but I'm not sure what route I should try and take...

I usually work long hours in the city, my husband is police and his schedule can't always be relied on.

Right now my schedule is 930-630, but im commuting from Holbrook so thats about 1 1/2 hour commute. If I want to drop baby at daycare, I would literally need to have her in there for 12 hours and that would require me to do a schedule change if my boss would allow it, like 8-430.

I can drive in closer to work and drop off then take the train from there, would let me have more time with baby but we would have to drive more and during rush hour.

Another solution would be if I could find someone to pick up at least a few days a week...or maybe my boss would let me work from home a few days a week but with a paycut im sure.

What would you try and do?

Posted 3/6/13 12:26 PM
 
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource

Aries14
Can't plan life...

Member since 8/08

2858 total posts

Name:

WWYD? Daycare related

I would try anything to not have her in daycare 12 hours a day/5 days a week. It just seems like such a long day for them. For me, I would take a paycut to work from home some days. You will probably end up being even after not having to pay daycare those days

Posted 3/6/13 12:29 PM
 

ali120206
2 Boys

Member since 7/06

15468 total posts

Name:

WWYD? Daycare related

I have a long train commute as well and a DH with a schedule that varies (FDNY). The boys are there every day from 9-11 hrs.

I tried the driving to a different train station thing closer to work and it ended up taking me just as long as if I would have taken the train from my town so I stopped doing it.

We drop off at the same time every day but, if DH picks up, he gets them between 4:30-5 and if I pick up, I get them at 6:30 (except Fridays when I work from home I get them at 5pm because DS 1 takes a karate class at school). They don't seem to mind it. The later pick up makes things a little hectic, especially for the little one who likes to be in bed at 7:30 but, it can be done.

Could you also ask for the possibility of working home one day on top of the schedule change? You will still have to send DC to daycare to get things done but, it's nice to have a day off from commuting.


Message edited 3/6/2013 12:41:38 PM.

Posted 3/6/13 12:41 PM
 

justonemore
LIF Zygote

Member since 1/13

48 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

My dh works in the city but I do all the pick ups. I would try to find someone to pick up your child a few days a week. In the month of January my dh's train was cancelled or severely delayed. Leaving at 4:30 would mean you would have to depend on the LIRR which I wouldn't. What happens if your train is delayed? What if your train is cancelled?

Posted 3/6/13 12:45 PM
 

lucamon
LIF Adult

Member since 6/09

1133 total posts

Name:
Samantha

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

I remember those daycare days and I'm so glad DS is not in daycare anymore.
First of all, how old is your baby? I do not recommend using a daycare closer or on your way to work. Just think of sitting in rush traffic with a baby crying in the back. I always tell people to pick one close to home. It's easier for drop off and pick up for you, your DH or other family member. There were many times I'd get to daycare and realize I forgot something and I'd run home to get it even if it means showing up for work late. Thank god daycare was only 5 mins from home.
My ped's office is also nearby. I've had panic phone calls from daycare where I had to literally drop everything and take him to the doctor.
Convenience is the key. Time spent commuting with a baby is not quality time nor is it safe.

I felt so bad leaving DS at daycare for such a long day. I requested a 4 day work week from my employer. He granted it and did not give me a pay cut. He just ask that I be available for phone calls and email on Fridays. It doesn't hurt to talk to your employer.

Posted 3/6/13 12:46 PM
 

Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!

Member since 5/08

9801 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

There isn't a day care near your job in the city?

I appreciate a day care close to work in case I need to get there ASAP.

I have had to go to day care to administer medicine to her when she was teething hardcore, and when she was really congested to suck out some snot, and I like to "pop by" and see how everything is, etc...

Posted 3/6/13 12:53 PM
 

ali120206
2 Boys

Member since 7/06

15468 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

Posted by Jenn627

There isn't a day care near your job in the city?

I appreciate a day care close to work in case I need to get there ASAP.

I have had to go to day care to administer medicine to her when she was teething hardcore, and when she was really congested to suck out some snot, and I like to "pop by" and see how everything is, etc...



It's very difficult to commute that long every day with a child and daycares tend to be a lot more $$$ in the city (my boss is paying more for his one toddler than I am paying for my 3 year old and infant).

ETA - Some daycares administer medication with documentation from Drs (mine does).

I also have my inlaws lined up in case of an emergency and a neighbor if need be.

Message edited 3/6/2013 1:01:23 PM.

Posted 3/6/13 1:00 PM
 

lbride
Lovin' my mini man!

Member since 3/07

2475 total posts

Name:
Lisa

WWYD? Daycare related

I would try to work from home some days if you can swing it financially. You only get this time with them once and if it means a few hours a day more with them then definitely do it

Posted 3/6/13 1:08 PM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18065 total posts

Name:
Allison

WWYD? Daycare related

I work til 4pm so I can run to Penn jump on the 424 and get DS from daycare by 6pm. Heis only there 3 days a week but I would do the same schedule if he was there 5 days. DH does the drop off at 730am.

I would not try and find a daycare cloer to your job and Def not in the city. They are crazy expensive and think about havign a baby or toddler on the train during rush hour. People get nasty int he am with noise and I have seen people bring their kids and other commuters are nasty to them.

I would ask you boss if you could leave early. I work through lunch and I respond to emails on the train home and once I get home if needed.

Posted 3/6/13 1:24 PM
 

Otherme
Square head cutie pants

Member since 3/06

6899 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

I have had my DS in daycare for 11 hours a day since he was 12 weeks - he's now 17 months.

yes, its a long day, but it's what we have to do

I would never even consider looking in the city or near your job for a daycare - commuting with a kid is just not fair to either of you and would put more stress on you!

Maybe your boss can agree to shifting your hours - 8:30 to 5:30 or 4:30 and it's agreed that you're available on the phone/email for the hour and a half commute home so you're not losing hours


Do you have a relative nearby who can be your back up in case things happen with the LIRR or you need to have someone pick your child up from daycare in an emergency?

Posted 3/6/13 1:52 PM
 

Ian&EmmesMommy23
My family is complete!

Member since 11/08

12964 total posts

Name:
Diana

WWYD? Daycare related

my son has been in daycare since hes 11 weeks old...he's 3.5 now. he's there 11 hours a day, 7am-6pm. no harm has been done to him and the extra hour wouldn't kill him either. if thats what you have to do and they are treating him well, then i would stick it out until kindergarten.

Posted 3/6/13 1:53 PM
 

Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!

Member since 5/08

9801 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

Posted by ali120206

It's very difficult to commute that long every day with a child and daycares tend to be a lot more $$$ in the city (my boss is paying more for his one toddler than I am paying for my 3 year old and infant).



I don't commute - I was trying to envision commuting with an infant and couldn't really do it - in my head I was picturing baby sleeping in the carrier the entire train ride, mommy reading..... Chat Icon My reality is obviously skewed.

Posted 3/6/13 2:06 PM
 

lucky1007
My Princess is Here!

Member since 11/11

1131 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

Posted by Otherme

I have had my DS in daycare for 11 hours a day since he was 12 weeks - he's now 17 months.

yes, its a long day, but it's what we have to do

I would never even consider looking in the city or near your job for a daycare - commuting with a kid is just not fair to either of you and would put more stress on you!

Maybe your boss can agree to shifting your hours - 8:30 to 5:30 or 4:30 and it's agreed that you're available on the phone/email for the hour and a half commute home so you're not losing hours


Do you have a relative nearby who can be your back up in case things happen with the LIRR or you need to have someone pick your child up from daycare in an emergency?




Thanks! This makes me feel better. My ideal situation would to find a job closer to home but who know when that will happen...I'm a Creative Director and that type of work is scarce out east. We are closing on a new home in 2 weeks and it's just crazy right now.

My inlaws are retired so I'm hoping maybe they can be my emergency pick up, I also have my sister and sister in law close by.

Posted 3/6/13 2:25 PM
 

queensgal
Smile

Member since 4/09

2939 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

I'm in similar shoes - both me and DH work in the city.

We will have DD in daycare 10 hours a day, 5 days a week.

In-laws will be back-up, if she gets sick in the middle of the day and we can't get her, etc.

I work from home 2 days a week, so those days may be a bit shorter, I won't have to commute so can drop off and pick up a bit easier.

I am modifying my hours to go in by 8 am and leave by 4:30. I will be available later on at home as needed. DH is doing drop off, I am doing pick up.

Already crying about it, but we really don't have any other choice.

Posted 3/6/13 2:54 PM
 

Otherme
Square head cutie pants

Member since 3/06

6899 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

Posted by lucky1007

Posted by Otherme

I have had my DS in daycare for 11 hours a day since he was 12 weeks - he's now 17 months.

yes, its a long day, but it's what we have to do

I would never even consider looking in the city or near your job for a daycare - commuting with a kid is just not fair to either of you and would put more stress on you!

Maybe your boss can agree to shifting your hours - 8:30 to 5:30 or 4:30 and it's agreed that you're available on the phone/email for the hour and a half commute home so you're not losing hours


Do you have a relative nearby who can be your back up in case things happen with the LIRR or you need to have someone pick your child up from daycare in an emergency?




Thanks! This makes me feel better. My ideal situation would to find a job closer to home but who know when that will happen...I'm a Creative Director and that type of work is scarce out east. We are closing on a new home in 2 weeks and it's just crazy right now.

My inlaws are retired so I'm hoping maybe they can be my emergency pick up, I also have my sister and sister in law close by.



im a producer at an ad agency, so i know your hours! Chat Icon

my il's are 20 min from DS's daycare and are our back-up if need be.
It's a long day, and tough sometimes, but DS loves his daycare and it doesn't matter to him if he's there 10 or 12 hours! He's well cared for, that's all that matters

Posted 3/6/13 4:23 PM
 

lucky1007
My Princess is Here!

Member since 11/11

1131 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

Posted by Otherme

Posted by lucky1007

Posted by Otherme

I have had my DS in daycare for 11 hours a day since he was 12 weeks - he's now 17 months.

yes, its a long day, but it's what we have to do

I would never even consider looking in the city or near your job for a daycare - commuting with a kid is just not fair to either of you and would put more stress on you!

Maybe your boss can agree to shifting your hours - 8:30 to 5:30 or 4:30 and it's agreed that you're available on the phone/email for the hour and a half commute home so you're not losing hours


Do you have a relative nearby who can be your back up in case things happen with the LIRR or you need to have someone pick your child up from daycare in an emergency?




Thanks! This makes me feel better. My ideal situation would to find a job closer to home but who know when that will happen...I'm a Creative Director and that type of work is scarce out east. We are closing on a new home in 2 weeks and it's just crazy right now.

My inlaws are retired so I'm hoping maybe they can be my emergency pick up, I also have my sister and sister in law close by.



im a producer at an ad agency, so i know your hours! Chat Icon

my il's are 20 min from DS's daycare and are our back-up if need be.
It's a long day, and tough sometimes, but DS loves his daycare and it doesn't matter to him if he's there 10 or 12 hours! He's well cared for, that's all that matters




HA! So you know my pain! Luckily I can def bring work home with me or even work the laptop on the train. You're right if she's well cared for than thats what matters!

Posted 3/6/13 5:37 PM
 

evenedan
Need a little sunshine

Member since 9/05

3843 total posts

Name:
D

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

I have a similar situation as you. I work in the city and before I went out on maternity leave, I rarely got home from work before 8pm.

I haven't returned to work yet, I'm going back next month, but I was able to work out a plan with my boss where I'll work from home one day a week and I'll also be leaving work at 4pm once a week. My DH is able to watch my DD one day a week, so that leaves her in daycare three days a week. I can live with that.

I work in a deadline driven industry, and when I'm nearing a deadline for a big project, I will call on family for extra help with DD, or my DH will take days off, because that is the time I need to make my boss and my job priority. All other times my family is my priority. I have an amazing boss and as long as I continue to deliver on deadline and don't cut down on my workload, she is okay with me scaling back my time in the office.

Of course all that being said, I go back to work next month, so lets hope it works out as well as it looks on paper right now.

Bottom line is while I want to continue to work (I love my job), I also want to be very present in my DD's life. I made this clear to my boss and she doesn't want to lose me, so she's as determined to make this work as I am.

Posted 3/6/13 6:06 PM
 

smooney
Hidey Ho!

Member since 2/10

1669 total posts

Name:
.

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

I agree with PP regarding finding a daycare closer to home. You DO NOT want to be in traffic with a baby. Trust me.
I would do a sit-down with your boss and see what your options are regarding working from home 1-3 days a week and also see if you can get anyone to help pick you your baby a couple days a week. I have a similar commute and can empathize with trying to juggle day care. Good luck!!

Posted 3/6/13 7:16 PM
 

DRMom
Two in Blue

Member since 5/05

20223 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

Have you considered a nanny or au pair? It seems like it would be a perfect solution for your situation

Posted 3/7/13 10:17 AM
 

JDubs
different, not less

Member since 7/09

13160 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

Posted by DRMom

Have you considered a nanny or au pair? It seems like it would be a perfect solution for your situation



ITA

Posted 3/7/13 11:13 AM
 

dlj97
LIF Adult

Member since 7/10

4399 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

Posted by JDubs

Posted by DRMom

Have you considered a nanny or au pair? It seems like it would be a perfect solution for your situation



ITA



This was what I was going to say too. I work in the city and typically get home around 7-7:30, and DH used to get home at 5:30. We have a nanny that watches DD and my nephew. DH now has longer hours, so my SIL watches DD 2 days a week after the nanny leaves and my parents watch DD the other afternoons. With DD2 on the way, that situation won't work for us. I am really struggling with the decision to put the two kids in day care or to get a new nanny (ours is asking for too much $), but when push comes to shove I just can't put a 3 month old (or a 2 year old) in day care for 11 hours a day.

I think when you have to work in the city full time, you just really don't have much of a choice and just need to get a nanny.

Posted 3/7/13 12:17 PM
 

bluekat16
My boys :-)

Member since 3/09

6659 total posts

Name:
Kathy

Re: WWYD? Daycare related

I have a similar commute to yous (live in S. Setauket). DH is a teacher and picks up the boys but they are at an in-home daycare from 6:15-4pm.

I know some suggested a nanny or au pair, but you might also want to look at an in-home daycare as an option as well. It's a little more one-on-one attention vs. a larger daycare facility which may ease the 12 hour day.

Unfortunately, when you live as far from the city as we do and commute for work it means 12+ hours days away from your kids. I was lucky to negotiate 2 days work from home. That gives me more time with my little guys. They still have to go to daycare while i work but I'm home with them at 4pm instead of 7:30pm.

Posted 3/7/13 3:48 PM
 
 

Potentially Related Topics:

Topic Posted By Started Replies Forum
WWYD daycare related Charly 2/2/10 12 Parenting
WWYD - Daycare Related MrsRbk 12/8/09 11 Parenting
WWYD? daycare related JRD2008 10/22/09 5 Parenting
WWYD - toddler daycare/preschool related Charly 7/13/09 10 Parenting
WWYD - Daycare related? lbelle821 3/23/09 3 Parenting
WWYD - LONG- Work/Daycare related DancinBarefoot 3/26/08 13 Parenting
 
Quick navigation:   
Currently 76068 users on the LIFamilies.com Chat
New Businesses
Carleton Hall of East Islip
J&A Building Services
LaraMae Health Coaching
Sonic Wellness
Julbaby Photography LLC
Ideal Uniforms
Teresa Geraghty Photography
Camelot Dream Homes
Long Island Wedding Boutique
MB Febus- Rodan & Fields
Camp Harbor
Market America-Shop.com
ACM Basement Waterproofing
Travel Tom
Yoga Womb/ SECS talk

      Follow LIWeddings on Facebook

      Follow LIFamilies on Twitter
Long Island Bridal Shows