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would you move far away?

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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters

Member since 6/06

6513 total posts

Name:
browneyes

Re: would you move far away?

No, I wouldn't. Absolutely, positively not.

If my family was coming with me, then yes. But I could never take my children away from my mother--she would die of a broken heart. To me, extended family is just as important as my little nuclear family. My mother and sister are over every day and they are all my kids talk about. They never mention the family we have out of state because we never see them and they don't "know" them.

My life would be much better out of state, but it would be at the expense of those I love. So therefore it's not even an option. I was ridiculously close with my grandparents, aunts and cousins because we lived within 5 minutes of each other--the ones out of town, not so much.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do with your situation. It is completely a personal decision. But for me, it's not an option.

Posted 5/4/12 8:30 PM
 
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît

Member since 6/07

42079 total posts

Name:
LB

Re: would you move far away?

I would and I did.

I love my family but for us, financially and mentally as well, we needed to do this. We are 8-10 hours away by car, 1 hour by air. Does it get a bit lonely sometimes? Sure, but that's what Facebook and Skype are for, and my family comes to visit all the time.

Being home with the kids is awesome and stressful all at the same time, but I wouldn't go back to work for anything less than six figures at this point, because I love being home for them and being home on DH's days off, which I never was before.

Posted 5/4/12 9:09 PM
 

SweetPeaMomma
LIF Adolescent

Member since 7/07

806 total posts

Name:
jen

Re: would you move far away?

i greatly appreciate all of the responses!

Posted 5/4/12 10:22 PM
 

maybebaby
LIF Adult

Member since 11/05

6870 total posts

Name:
Maureen

Re: would you move far away?

Posted by browneyedgirl

No, I wouldn't. Absolutely, positively not.

If my family was coming with me, then yes. But I could never take my children away from my mother--she would die of a broken heart. To me, extended family is just as important as my little nuclear family. My mother and sister are over every day and they are all my kids talk about. They never mention the family we have out of state because we never see them and they don't "know" them.

My life would be much better out of state, but it would be at the expense of those I love. So therefore it's not even an option. I was ridiculously close with my grandparents, aunts and cousins because we lived within 5 minutes of each other--the ones out of town, not so much.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do with your situation. It is completely a personal decision. But for me, it's not an option.



If you had family out of state that you cared very much about, you would talk about them and see them constantly, which is the case with me....just had to point that out. I am 4 hours from my mom and sisters/brother etc but the boys know them like the back of their hand. And we have family 20 minutes from us in MD that we never ever see b/c, well, we aren't close.

So distance doesn't always have to do with closeness! It's important to distinguish between the two.

It isn't always easy living further than you wish, but lots of good can come from it too...I am lucky b/c I do feel like i have the best of both worlds. If i were a lot further than 4 hours i'm not so sure. It would have to depend on how often i could realistically see them...

Posted 5/4/12 11:08 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18771 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Re: would you move far away?

Posted by TheDivineMrsM

Probably not. Home for me isn't a town or a house; it's my family and my friends. And they're all within 90 minutes of my house. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Also... being a SAHM is hard. A few days ago, I wasn't feeling well and was inches from snapping, it was AWESOME to have my mom stop in and give me a break for an hour. I couldn't do that if I lived so far away.



I agree, but you know I can see how it is tempting. I will say I might WANT to do it but ultimately I would miss my family too much and it would be too hard to be away from all my family and friends. I guess if we were really struggling and things would do a 180 if we moved I would feel differently.

I am someone who lives a couple blocks from my parents and sees them daily. As a mom, SAHM especially, I cannot imagine how difficult my life would be without my parents, brother, sil etc. close by.

Message edited 5/4/2012 11:18:45 PM.

Posted 5/4/12 11:14 PM
 

Beck
LIF Adult

Member since 7/08

1334 total posts

Name:
still can't believe it's mommy

Re: would you move far away?

I couldn't leave my family, they are everything to me. I told DH when we got married that I would never leave NY. It's expensive but I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

Posted 5/4/12 11:17 PM
 

anewday
<3

Member since 9/08

1493 total posts

Name:
Dawn

Re: would you move far away?

I would and just did....on top of it I just had my second child so its really hard on me not having anyone around but we did what is best for our family and our lives....

Posted 5/5/12 4:34 PM
 

lorimarie
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Member since 5/05

3753 total posts

Name:
Lori

Re: would you move far away?

My brother did it and they have their moments BUT he's not as close to my parents and my grandparents as I am.

My husband would leave LI in a heartbeat. Me, not so much. I didn't love NC and think if we were to go anywhere it would be Maryland or Virginia. However, wherever I go my parents go so at least I'd still have them.

I think I could do Virginia. Good schools, cheaper living and only 5 hours from my brother and closer to my aunt in Florida. Down the road maybe. However for now, my MIL is here, my parents and my grandparents are still alive. If I left we'd leave way too many broken hearts and I couldn't leave my grandparents.

I'm all over the place with this Chat Icon

Posted 5/5/12 6:11 PM
 

PhillyGirl
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/09

890 total posts

Name:

Re: would you move far away?

I totally would.

Posted 5/5/12 6:18 PM
 

VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!

Member since 5/05

9252 total posts

Name:
Deb

Re: would you move far away?

We also live in the DC area, and but I also have family down here as well. I never had any desire to live on Long Island once I graduated HS, and try to avoid going up at all. LI stresses me out. DH and I have toyed w/ the idea of moving to California, but I don't want to be a 5 hour plane ride away, at least not while our son is still so small.

Posted 5/5/12 7:36 PM
 

neenie

Member since 5/05

22351 total posts

Name:

Re: would you move far away?

we're actually in the middle of doing just this right now (DH just accepted a position in NC- 10 hrs away). It's not for financial reasons, we have a nice life here, nice size house and are comfortable, but its just about wanting a different lifestyle.

I'll still work down there- most likely full time, though it's not necessary, working (for me) adds to my quality of life, and also gives us the other things that we want. Now that it's actually a reality (after we've tossed around the idea for over 10 years) I am getting a little sad thinking of missing everyone, but much more excited about our new adventure as a family. Honestly, 10 hrs really is nothing.you could drive up here one day and drive back down the next if you really had to.

There's tons of pros and cons (and varying levels of importance and value for each pro and con, too)- but you just have to look at the whole (and, big) picture and see what's the best move for your family. Good luck!

Posted 5/6/12 12:27 AM
 

KevinNKristin8-15-08
Welcome to the world Chase

Member since 9/08

6162 total posts

Name:
Kristin

Re: would you move far away?

Posted by TheDivineMrsM

Probably not. Home for me isn't a town or a house; it's my family and my friends. And they're all within 90 minutes of my house. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Also... being a SAHM is hard. A few days ago, I wasn't feeling well and was inches from snapping, it was AWESOME to have my mom stop in and give me a break for an hour. I couldn't do that if I lived so far away.


I agree. I could never move. What I consider home is where my friends and family are. Material things just don't matter to me as long as I have the people I love nearby. What good is a huge house when you wouldn't have anyone to share it with?!?!?!

Plus being a sahm was just not for me. I actually like working. It's the perfect balance for me.

Posted 5/6/12 9:54 AM
 

Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!

Member since 8/05

20181 total posts

Name:

Re: would you move far away?

Posted by NervousNell

I couldn't do it, personally.
I just feel like what good is a big, beautiful home if you don't have anyone to share it with? (other than your immediate family that is)
I know eventually you make friends and all, but my family is just too important to me.
I couldn't take my DD away from my parents- I think they would just die.

Lots of people do it though- I am just not strong enough to.



This 100%!

Posted 5/6/12 9:28 PM
 

wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3

Member since 1/09

7395 total posts

Name:
Maureen

Re: would you move far away?

I know I personally could never do it. Right now, my mom and half my siblings live on LI within a half hour of us, as does my husband's entire immediate family. And we both have aunts, unless, cousins, and my grandma on LI as well. Both my brothers live out of state, but are each about an hour and 15 minute drive from us. We see our family members ALL THE TIME and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love that my children are growing up with the presence and influence of all this family. They are constantly making memories with them, and that is invaluable to me.

Posted 5/6/12 10:22 PM
 

CrankyPants
I'm cranky

Member since 7/06

18178 total posts

Name:
Mama Cranky

Re: would you move far away?

I wouldn't move for a big new house but living pay check to pay check is something different.

If the choice is stay, live pay check to paycheck and possibly not be able to have more kids vs move, have more financial freedom and be able to have more kids then it's a no brainer for me. I would not give up having more kids so that I could have Sunday dinner at mom's. I love being near family, but to not be able to fulfill our hopes for a family is too much of a cost.

Posted 5/6/12 10:51 PM
 

Mrs213
Up your butt with a coconut!

Member since 2/09

17539 total posts

Name:

Re: would you move far away?

I would do it

Posted 5/6/12 11:25 PM
 
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