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vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

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TnJ2007
Angelina . . . My Lil Angel

Member since 8/08

2196 total posts

Name:
Tricia

vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

hey everyone! i haven't posted in a while but i know you ladies give some great advice so i was hoping you could help me.
my dh recently won a trip to atlantis bahamas for bascially a long weekend (thurs-mon) and we're debating wheather we should take dd with us. at the time of the trip she will be 21 months. we do have the option of leaving her with my in laws at their house who i trust 100%. my fear is that she will be so sad and miss us and be traumatized by the whole thing. she has extreme separation anxiety with me. meaning if she knows i'm leaving she will throw a tantrum and cry real tears. and when i'm home (i'm a FTWM) she is pretty clingy. but if i'm out of sight then i'm out of mind, at least this is what my dh, in laws and nanny say when they watch her. they say she will occassionally say ma ma? but that would be the end of it. DH and I left her last year when we went on vacation for a week, but she was only 6 months and she was great while we were gone.
i know every couple needs alone time, but i'm just afraid if at her age this will be too much for her????
also from what i hear atlantis has a lot of fun things for kids her age to do so part of me feels bad for not letting experience it.
I also realize if we bring her it won't be nearly as relaxing as it would be if it was just us. and being a FTWM i could use some relaxation right about now.
please let me know what you think based on the above circumstances.
thanks! Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 4/12/2012 6:34:16 AM.

Posted 4/12/12 6:33 AM
 
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18017 total posts

Name:
Allison

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

I would go without her. Kids are resilient and have a short attention span. My guess is she might cry for a few minutes at the beginning and then be fine. Plus if it were me I would use it as an opportunity to start breaking the separation anxiety. You can't always be there just because she might throw a tantrum

Posted 4/12/12 7:00 AM
 

aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys

Member since 4/06

11272 total posts

Name:
Ali

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

I would go without her. It's only a long weekend and you trust your in laws 100% so you have nothing to worry about.

I know all about the separation anxiety. We've been through stages of it many many times. And trust me, my child would scream if i left him with his father. Chat Icon Even still, we've gone away for a night here and there and it's never been a problem. My son LOVES going to my in laws so he doesn't even notice i'm gone. Now at 4 years old, he asks why i'm back so early. Chat Icon Trust me, she'll have a blast with your in laws!!!!!

GO by yourselves!!!! We never have a chance to do anything by ourselves so if it were me... i wouldn't think twice about it!!!!! Chat Icon

Posted 4/12/12 7:06 AM
 

TnJ2007
Angelina . . . My Lil Angel

Member since 8/08

2196 total posts

Name:
Tricia

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

Posted by alli3131
Plus if it were me I would use it as an opportunity to start breaking the separation anxiety. You can't always be there just because she might throw a tantrum



thats a very good and valid point, thank you!!!

Posted 4/12/12 7:07 AM
 

TnJ2007
Angelina . . . My Lil Angel

Member since 8/08

2196 total posts

Name:
Tricia

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

THIS is my child!!! i feel so bad for DH when my dd does this.

Posted by aliwnec10

my child would scream if i left him with his father. Chat Icon



when does separation anxiety end????

Posted 4/12/12 7:11 AM
 

aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys

Member since 4/06

11272 total posts

Name:
Ali

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

Posted by TnJ2007

THIS is my child!!! i feel so bad for DH when my dd does this.

Posted by aliwnec10

my child would scream if i left him with his father. Chat Icon



when does separation anxiety end????



Can't say for sure. Can be a few days, a few weeks or a few months. Then it will die down and then come back again in a few more months. Chat Icon

My son hasn't had any separation anxiety since he was 3 though, if that gives you any hope. Chat Icon

Posted 4/12/12 7:24 AM
 

mrsb32
LIF Infant

Member since 2/12

61 total posts

Name:
Its a Secret for Now

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

i would TOTALLY go without her... enjoy your time..

i know you will worry and think about her, but if she is with inlaws or family, she will be happy..

we have gone away to weddings for 2 nights and DS was totally fine - i was a mess. but it was so nice to sleep, relax, and do our own thing.

you will have more vacations together when you can take DD and have a blast..

(im still waiting my key west vaca!!!)

PLEASE GO AND HAVE FUN!!!

Posted 4/12/12 7:34 AM
 

MayBbaby21
Baby no. 3 coming soon!

Member since 6/09

5738 total posts

Name:

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

I would go! She'll be fine. I think no matter how long you wait, that first time is going to be.

We're leaving today for a two night stay w/o DD. She's only 15 months. We decided to stay somewhat local, so we could drive home if necessary. DD is staying with my in-laws and I KNOW she'll be fine. I'm starting to get a little panicky about her missing us or not sleeping in her PNP. This morning DH got her out of her crib while I was in the shower and she busted in the bathroom looking for "mama." Chat Icon I keep thinking that she's going to be looking for me tomorrow. But she loves her grandparents and they watch her all the time, so I know she'll feel comfortable there. They said if she night 1 doesn't go well, they'll bring her back to our house so she can sleep in her crib the 2nd night.

Posted 4/12/12 7:53 AM
 

EricaAlt
LIF Adult

Member since 7/08

21961 total posts

Name:
Erica

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

If you have the option than go without.
You and DH need your "adult" time to have fun. You don't get it too often.
At 21 months she won't even remember either.
She'll have a GREAT time with her grandparents and to her that's a vacation.
WHen you get back then you can plan a "family" trip together for the 3 of you.

My parents both WFT and we did lots of family vacations and my parents did their own "adult" vacations together alone or with their friends.
We LOVED being with grandma and grandpa and I'm sure they had a great time too. I am very close with my parents and love to see how in love they are. Still romantic after all these years.
Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/12/12 8:05 AM
 

JerseyMamaOf3
Boo!

Member since 6/05

15144 total posts

Name:

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

I would go with out her too.

Honestly, I have been to Atlantis 3 times and the first time my middle child was just 2. The only thing for her to do is the pool which is nice, but I wouldn't feel like she is missing out. I feel like there is more to experience without the kids. If you take a walk over to the Cove tower, there pool is 21 and over. I love to go to a pool where there was no splashing or screaming..lol

Go and have fun!!

Posted 4/12/12 8:13 AM
 

BeachGal
LIF Adult

Member since 2/10

2827 total posts

Name:
J

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

I would go alone. Your guilt will probably go away when you get off the plane!! Just a heads up, I have been to Atlantis twice and I do remember that there were a lot of kids and babies there so be prepared for that. I went in the summer.

Posted 4/12/12 8:23 AM
 

LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!

Member since 8/08

9655 total posts

Name:

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

I'm obviously in the minority, but I would take her. The Atlantis is so kid friendly and she will love it!! We stayed there last year with my entire family and all of the kids loved it, including my DS who was only 9mo. I think this is a great opportunity to have a special family vacation. I'm all about Mommy & Daddy time but I'm not sure if I could ever leave the country for the sake of "us time". JMO of course, you have to do what you feel comfortable with! Either way, have a great time... I LOVE it there!

Posted 4/12/12 8:26 AM
 

blu6385

Member since 5/08

7135 total posts

Name:
T

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

i would go without her. I plan on leaving DD for a whole week in July to go to PR.

Posted 4/12/12 9:12 AM
 

MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!

Member since 5/06

14562 total posts

Name:
Marisa

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

She will be fine. It sounds like she is close to, and comfortable with your in laws - it's not like you're going to leave her for a week w/ people she's iffy about or rarely sees - KWIM?

Go and enjoy yourself. She will NOT be traumatized.

DH and I went away for a week last month - they boys styaed w/ my parents - my almost 3 year old asked for us ONCE Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/12/12 9:17 AM
 

TnJ2007
Angelina . . . My Lil Angel

Member since 8/08

2196 total posts

Name:
Tricia

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

thank you so much ladies!!! its set then, she is staying with pop-pop and grammy. and me and dh will be enjoying our alone time!!!

thanks again!!!!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/12/12 7:02 PM
 

hazeleyes33
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

13060 total posts

Name:
Ginger

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

I agree with everyone else, go without her. You know she is safe and yes, kids will cry when you leave them and 5 minutes later (if even that-lol!) they are fine.

I am a BIG advocate that parents need alone, adult time every once in awhile. I know some people who would never go away without their kids. I don't understand that at all. Your spouse was there before kids and after kids so if you do not nuture THAT relationship, there will be none when the kids are older and move out. Having a life out of your kids is good and makes you an even better parent Chat Icon

Posted 4/12/12 7:09 PM
 

clmj2
cant believe hes gone

Member since 3/07

4407 total posts

Name:
Candice

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

Def go with just you and DH!

DD still throws a fit when i leave...now I can tell shes doing it on purpose though. they like to make you feel bad, but trust me she will be fine in not too long!
(DD used to be reaaaally bad but my daycare would send me a pic of her smiling 5-10min after i left!)

Posted 4/12/12 8:08 PM
 

mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!

Member since 3/09

8584 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

I just posted about this last week. We are invited to a destination wedding. I'm on the fence if we should leave dd who at the time with be 2.5 and my new dd will be only 9 months.

Most everyone on the board said go. I think we are going to. Like you my main fear is the girls will miss us too much, or they will feel abandoned. I also worry I won't enjoy myself without them. I feel bad for being selfish (in my eyes) but DH and I really could use the time alone. I'm sure you feel the same. I trust my parents 100% to care for them and I think they will have a great time with grandma and grandpa.

My vote is go!

Posted 4/12/12 8:25 PM
 

janedoe
3 GIRLS!!!!

Member since 8/09

3184 total posts

Name:

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

I would definitely go without her.
My DD is very very clingy to me also but like everyone told you, once I am out of sight, I am out of mind - she says mama and stuff but does not cry or become as upset when others try to pick her up ect...when I am there with her.
As a FTWM also, I would take full advantage of some alone time with DH Chat Icon

Posted 4/12/12 8:43 PM
 

NYchic
Girl & boy

Member since 6/09

2357 total posts

Name:

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

Leave her at home. A vacation with a 21 mo old is not a vacation at all.
My DD is exactly that age...DH and I just spent 4 days and 3 glorious nights in Florida without her. She is VERY attached to me but I left her with my parents...she was fine. Asked for me once. I put her to bed night before I left...my mom got her up the next morning. We got home late at night after DD was asleep...so she was so cute and happy to see us the next morning.
I promise you she and you will survive.
I can't imagine not having that alone time with DH every now and then.

Posted 4/12/12 11:36 PM
 

susanmiller696
LIF Zygote

Member since 4/12

6 total posts

Name:

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

Yes… definitely go & enjoy your time. Its your right to relax! & as you are leaving her with someone who you trust 100% then there is no question of worrying. Also she is quite young to remember all these days, so enjoy without any guilt.

Posted 4/13/12 8:18 AM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

i left home my 23 mos old and 5 year old. the baby did not care at all and loved all the attention she got.

you know what goes on when you leave baby at home?
tons of drunk sex.Chat Icon

no sunscreening baby, packing bags, strollers, mealtime. just you, a drink and a chance to be absolutely carefree.

Posted 4/13/12 8:29 AM
 

hazeleyes33
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

13060 total posts

Name:
Ginger

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

Posted by Janice

you know what goes on when you leave baby at home?
tons of drunk sex.Chat Icon

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/13/12 10:02 AM
 

Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys

Member since 5/05

9306 total posts

Name:
Kelly

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

Posted by alli3131

I would go without her. Kids are resilient and have a short attention span. My guess is she might cry for a few minutes at the beginning and then be fine. Plus if it were me I would use it as an opportunity to start breaking the separation anxiety. You can't always be there just because she might throw a tantrum



Agreed! And I don't feel she will be traumitized. She will be fine! Go enjoy, have a few drinks and relax!

Posted 4/13/12 11:46 AM
 

kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!

Member since 8/07

12475 total posts

Name:
Keri

Re: vacationing w/o child - WWYD?

Posted by hazeleyes33

Posted by Janice

you know what goes on when you leave baby at home?
tons of drunk sex.Chat Icon

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



LOL- I'd probably end up pg again Chat Icon

Posted 4/13/12 11:53 AM
 
 

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