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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: the families who won't go anywhere without their DC -?
Posted by headoverheels
Is it bad if I admit that I PREFER to go out places such as showers, weddings, parties without my DC? 
I do understand people wanting to spend time with their kids, I do - especially FTWMs. But most of the events that DH and I are invited to just are not kid-friendly. Weddings included. It wouldn't be fun for me, and it wouldn't be fun for them! I look forward to attending those with friends, adult family members and DH so we can let loose a little and having my kids there would cramp my style, whether alcohol was involved or not.
I hope it's okay that I crashed this post but I did want to offer another perspective 
This is how I feel also. Honestly, I am a SAHM to 3 kids so I spend every day with them and take them tons of places, so when the opportunity comes for an event without children, I don't want to bring them. While sure, it is fun being away with them for a weekend, but its also more exhausting with them there...so weekend wedding invites for example are no kid weekends.
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Posted 3/29/12 9:17 AM  |
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jamiemarie12
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1651 total posts
Name:
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Re: the families who won't go anywhere without their DC -?
I am FTWM so I have a lot of guilt about missing out on a lot. I value my weekends with DS. I will go out to dinner, to events here and things like that but if it is for an event that I have to travel to that is different.
My cousin is getting married in North Carolina in the summer. DS is not invited, I am not insulted since it is her choice not to have children at her wedding. She said I could use the hotel babysitter which I would never do for my own reasons. I honestly do not feel comfortable leaving DS home for an entire weekend.
It has to do with time I am missing out. Also the god forbid something happened and I couldn't get there fast enough or if something happened to DH and I. I know this can happen at any time but I do not like the distance. DS has a hard enough time at night when I am out for a few hours I just can't do the whole weekend getaway thing. So I unfortunately will be missing my cousins wedding.
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| Posted 3/29/12 9:20 AM |
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LittleDiva
LIF Adult
Member since 9/11 1284 total posts
Name:
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Re: the families who won't go anywhere without their DC -?
if my dd is not invited we wont bring her. but if she is....you bet she is coming! my husband works an insane amount of hours each week so there is no way he is going to spend time away from her to attend an event that she can come to.
now on the other hand, we have family that bring there kids EVERYWHERE! its bc they dont let anyone watch their kids, even the kids grandparents. they showed up to one of our parties at a hall that was adult only, and they KNEW this, with all 3 of their kids. they complained the music was too loud for their kids and there wasnt enough room for them....they left after a half hour bc it wasnt kid friendly  id rather them not come at all
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| Posted 3/29/12 9:28 AM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: the families who won't go anywhere without their DC -?
Posted by headoverheels
Is it bad if I admit that I PREFER to go out places such as showers, weddings, parties without my DC?
I do understand people wanting to spend time with their kids, I do - especially FTWMs. But most of the events that DH and I are invited to just are not kid-friendly. Weddings included. It wouldn't be fun for me, and it wouldn't be fun for them! I look forward to attending those with friends, adult family members and DH so we can let loose a little and having my kids there would cramp my style, whether alcohol was involved or not.
I hope it's okay that I crashed this post but I did want to offer another perspective
ITA. I'm a SAHM and I look forward to adult conversations. The only thing I'm not ready to leave them for, is a vacation. I want to be there with them. I love seeing their reactions to everything. We just went to Magic Kingdom and the looks on their faces (especially my 5 year old DS), was just priceless!
I have no problem going to a wedding, shower, or out to dinner and having a babysitter (or my inlaws) watch them if they're available.
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| Posted 3/29/12 10:00 AM |
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-Baby-Love-
LIF Infant
Member since 2/12 156 total posts
Name:
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Re: the families who won't go anywhere without their DC -?
*IF* I had someone I could trust 100% to watch him I would definitely do more and go more places without DS. I have a couple of people (family) willing to watch him but I do not feel that comfortable leaving them unless he is already sleeping for the night or its only for an hour or two. I just think it takes so much patience and concentration to watch a LO and not many people are capable in my eyes.
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| Posted 3/29/12 10:11 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7789 total posts
Name:
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Re: the families who won't go anywhere without their DC -?
Posted by headoverheels
Is it bad if I admit that I PREFER to go out places such as showers, weddings, parties without my DC?
I do understand people wanting to spend time with their kids, I do - especially FTWMs. But most of the events that DH and I are invited to just are not kid-friendly. Weddings included. It wouldn't be fun for me, and it wouldn't be fun for them! I look forward to attending those with friends, adult family members and DH so we can let loose a little and having my kids there would cramp my style, whether alcohol was involved or not.
I hope it's okay that I crashed this post but I did want to offer another perspective
I'm with you. I'm a FTWM and I feel guilty participating in activities he is not welcome to during the day on the weekends. I will definitely still go if it's important though. However, if it is at night, I'm calling my babysitter and I'm going out to be "me". As far as vacations are concerned, if it's going to be something really fun and having a kid there will be a downer (i.e. our Fire Island house) he's staying with Grandma for the week.
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| Posted 3/29/12 10:20 AM |
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Finally1108
My two boys
Member since 12/08 3541 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: the families who won't go anywhere without their DC -?
I am a FTWM and I hate that i can not be with my son all the time, but i also need some time to myself or with DH. We will bring DS with us where ever we go, but for example we have two weddings this summer and DS is invited, but we already decided we would not bring him. it doesnt mean we love him anyless than the parents that do bring their children.
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| Posted 3/29/12 10:30 AM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: the families who won't go anywhere without their DC -?
Posted by nycgirl
My kids are part of "us” now. Life is different. We go to many places with kids and just a few without. For example... I'm going to dinner with my bff... But dh will watch them.
IMO. We both work... So we try to spend all the time we can with kids.
ITA!!!! We love bringing our kids with us to places, even vacations. We just love spending time with them.
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| Posted 3/29/12 10:42 AM |
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Sweets13
Bella Bambini
Member since 5/05 9300 total posts
Name:
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Re: the families who won't go anywhere without their DC -?
IMO, you can experience going to restaurants, vacations, weddings, showers, parties, etc with your child and you can ALSO do those same things alone and with DH.
There is a time and place for everything/everyone.
I love being with my kids just as much as the person who won't go anywhere without DC but it's important to also do things alone and with DH.
Message edited 3/29/2012 11:35:04 AM.
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| Posted 3/29/12 11:26 AM |
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