LIFamilies.com - Long Island, NY


RSS
Articles Business Directory Blog Real Estate Community Forum Shop My Family Contests

Log In Chat Index Search Rules Lingo Create Account

Quick navigation:   

Im in 3 y/o hell... help!

Posted By Message

steph7308
Mommy of 2!!!

Member since 5/08

2083 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Im in 3 y/o hell... help!

My 3.5 y/o DD is driving me crazy... She dosnt listen to a thing i say, i have bruises all over from her biting me, she bosses me around... i feel like im in a abusive relationship Chat Icon Its causing tons of problems with me n my bf bc she isnt this bad with him so i get all the blame. i feel like nothing i do is right or good enough. im so misrable, sometimes i feel like just leaving, like everyone would be happier if i was gone. my cousin is trying to help me get my life together and she suggested i go see someone but i dunno who im supposed to see... can anyone point me in the right direction or give me any advice? i cant take living like this anymore... im completely at my wits end Chat Icon

Posted 3/15/12 3:54 PM
 
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource

anewday
<3

Member since 9/08

1493 total posts

Name:
Dawn

Re: Im in 3 y/o hell... help!

1st just take a deep breathe...
and try to step away for a few minutes

My dd is almost 3 and she has her days where I just want to pull my hair out (plus Im pregnant to boot)

Do you have a set disipline..."time out" type thing? Some days it works like a charm for us then other days she can go in & out of time out 100x but I try to stay consistant at all times...meaning I will put her back in time out 10x in a row until she sits for her 2-3 minutes...there have been days where 2 minutes took an hour but other days she does her time says shes sorry, gives me a hug and is good for a while.

Chat Icon

Posted 3/15/12 4:15 PM
 

steph7308
Mommy of 2!!!

Member since 5/08

2083 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Im in 3 y/o hell... help!

Posted by anewday

1st just take a deep breathe...
and try to step away for a few minutes

My dd is almost 3 and she has her days where I just want to pull my hair out (plus Im pregnant to boot)

Do you have a set disipline..."time out" type thing? Some days it works like a charm for us then other days she can go in & out of time out 100x but I try to stay consistant at all times...meaning I will put her back in time out 10x in a row until she sits for her 2-3 minutes...there have been days where 2 minutes took an hour but other days she does her time says shes sorry, gives me a hug and is good for a while.

Chat Icon



thanks... time outs do nothing but get me in trouble usually... we live with my inlaws n after listening to her screaming for a few minutes they usually get pissed and yell like im doing something wrong when im just trying to disipline her. its always like if i did so n so she would listen to me. thats why i say i feel like nothing i do is right... i just cant win.

Posted 3/15/12 4:19 PM
 

JennZ
MY LIFE!!

Member since 8/05

25463 total posts

Name:

Re: Im in 3 y/o hell... help!

I dont mean to be harsh, but nip that shit right now. If you feel like you are in an abusive relationship with your CHILD, not cool.

I come from a way different form of parenting. I would have smacked her in the mouth after the first bite. Ds did it to me once. Never again. As much as my son runs me, has his "spirited" moments, he KNOWS I Rule this place and NOT to push it too far.

She knows your reaction is not going to be in her face, thats why she is doing it with you and you alone.

We dont always need to be buddies with our kids, they need boundries.

Good luck, my beast just woke up,

Posted 3/15/12 4:24 PM
 

steph7308
Mommy of 2!!!

Member since 5/08

2083 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Im in 3 y/o hell... help!

Posted by JennZ

I dont mean to be harsh, but nip that shit right now. If you feel like you are in an abusive relationship with your CHILD, not cool.

I come from a way different form of parenting. I would have smacked her in the mouth after the first bite. Ds did it to me once. Never again. As much as my son runs me, has his "spirited" moments, he KNOWS I Rule this place and NOT to push it too far.

She knows your reaction is not going to be in her face, thats why she is doing it with you and you alone.

We dont always need to be buddies with our kids, they need boundries.

Good luck, my beast just woke up,



i totally agree with you. i have smacked her before but it backfired on me cuz she just laughed at me n then started asking to be smacked! and i think it just opened the door for her to hit me now. its like nothing works on this kid!

Posted 3/15/12 4:27 PM
 

ChrisDee
My Girls

Member since 11/06

9543 total posts

Name:
Christine

Re: Im in 3 y/o hell... help!

I heard this is a great book:
http://www.amazon.com/How-Behave-Your-Children-Will/dp/0670891533

Might be worth a try

Posted 3/15/12 4:30 PM
 

anewday
<3

Member since 9/08

1493 total posts

Name:
Dawn

Re: Im in 3 y/o hell... help!




thanks... time outs do nothing but get me in trouble usually... we live with my inlaws n after listening to her screaming for a few minutes they usually get pissed and yell like im doing something wrong when im just trying to disipline her. its always like if i did so n so she would listen to me. thats why i say i feel like nothing i do is right... i just cant win.


thats probably your biggest problem...if your inlaw or anyone else underminds you while disiplining her your gonna go insane!
You need to set some ground rules for your daughter and your inlaws...your the mom! Plus anyone else who does have an authority type role should follow the same type of disipline...dh and I dont aways agree but we both try to never undermind each other infront of her kwim?

Posted 3/15/12 4:46 PM
 

cloddy
Holiday 2011 photo

Member since 8/05

8088 total posts

Name:
Kristen

Re: Im in 3 y/o hell... help!

No one knows your child better than you so only you know what will work. We can't give you a magic cure. But you have to have supportive people around you. If those people in the home will not respect your decisions or support them it will not work.

Sounds like you need to set them straight before you can work on DD.

Posted 3/15/12 5:21 PM
 

patti08
Happy

Member since 5/05

3893 total posts

Name:
Patti

Re: Im in 3 y/o hell... help!

I'd set rules, and consequences. I think you have to stop anyone else's interjections while you are handling a situation. You need to stick to the rules hard and fast.

I'd set the rules and consequences and make sure EVERYONE knows them.

When your DD isn't around talk calmly to everyone in the house. Let them know your concerns about her behavior, your plan to fix it and that you either need them to get on board or stay completely out of it.

My DD rarely gets time outs but when she does she screams like she's getting tortured. No it is not easy to hear but it often kind of lets out whatever negative energy was causing the problem. It at least ends up with her calmer and participating in a conversation about whatever the infraction was.

Posted 3/15/12 5:47 PM
 

ml110
LIF Adult

Member since 1/06

5435 total posts

Name:

Re: Im in 3 y/o hell... help!

Posted by anewday




.


thats probably your biggest problem...if your inlaw or anyone else underminds you while disiplining her your gonna go insane!
You need to set some ground rules for your daughter and your inlaws...your the mom! Plus anyone else who does have an authority type role should follow the same type of disipline...dh and I dont aways agree but we both try to never undermind each other infront of her kwim?


ITA!! consitency is the biggest thing!! if your ILs are undermining you and not setting the same boundaries as you are... of course your DD is gonna laugh in your face and act out to you. She knows there are 3 other people in the house who DON'T have the same rules as you do... so, to her, she's thinking " why should i listen to mom?? nobody else has these rules!"
I think you and your DH need to sit down with your ILs and talk to them about this. Let them know what rules and boundaries you want to set for YOUR DD, and what types of consequences, etc that you want to use. As long as you're all living together, you ALL need to be on the same page.
Your ILs need to back you up when you're disciplining her, instead of telling you you're doing something wrong... kids are smart, and even at 3 1/2 she realizes that mom's rules don't mean anything.

Message edited 3/15/2012 7:38:57 PM.

Posted 3/15/12 7:37 PM
 
 

Potentially Related Topics:

Topic Posted By Started Replies Forum
Did anyone else have a bad day...I sure as hell did!!! jozieb0925 7/13/06 29 Families Helping Families ™
Time to talk about the real angel of death!!!!! Hell's Kitchen is back tonight!! heidla 7/10/06 6 Families Helping Families ™
If everything else goes to hell today, I can still say.... BaroqueMama 6/22/06 12 Parenting
I think Hell froze over - my company is being way too nice... HarleyGirlFLA 3/17/06 12 Families Helping Families ™
How the HELL did THIS happen? Belly pic inside. BaroqueMama 1/5/06 20 Pregnancy
I wonder if Hell's Kitchen is coming back next season... CaseyGirl 8/8/05 2 Families Helping Families ™
 
Quick navigation:   
Currently 74310 users on the LIFamilies.com Chat
New Businesses
1 More Rep
Carleton Hall of East Islip
J&A Building Services
LaraMae Health Coaching
Sonic Wellness
Julbaby Photography LLC
Ideal Uniforms
Teresa Geraghty Photography
Camelot Dream Homes
Long Island Wedding Boutique
MB Febus- Rodan & Fields
Camp Harbor
Market America-Shop.com
ACM Basement Waterproofing
Travel Tom

      Follow LIWeddings on Facebook

      Follow LIFamilies on Twitter
Long Island Bridal Shows