Opinions needed - daycare drama

I've had a really rough two days.....

My DD is very happy at her daycare and so are we. We've not voiced any concerns or issues since she started there half a year ago.

We did though just voice a simple request ..... to be given a clear quick update on our DD day when we pick her up (she's 2 1/2). We have often been told "I don't know, I wasn't here for the majority of the day" We get no sheets or notebooks on her day.

This has become a HUGE production.

The owner of the center lectured me for 40 minutes this morning on how she's never dealt with a family like mine, she doesn't understand what we are asking", she has a great relationship with all the other families......

OMG, all I asked was just to be sure we know if our DD used the potty and since you had her for 10 hours, a quick summary of what she did .... for asking this request, she's now saying that perhaps her daycare isn't the right match for our DD.

What did a do wrong here? Does anyone else go to a daycare where the owner is so defensive. I didn't say anything negative about the teachers, I just made a request. Perhaps we might have said at some point, it's not "acceptable" to not be quickly updated on our daughters day, but hey, I'm a paying client and you have my daughter for 50 hours a week.

Help me here, honestly .... is this right?

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

Ok Im sooo not one to jump to FIND ANOTHER DAYCARE.. BUT REALLY..FIND ANOTHER DAYCARE!!!

most daycares give you a "gram" or something stating what your child did or did not do that day.. If THIS IS CONSIDERED BEING A DIFFICULT FAMILY.. OMG...what happens when something serious happens!!

OMG REALLY NOT COOL AT ALL. Im sooo angry for you!!! FIND ANOTHER DAYCARE!! UNACCEPTABLE!!!

even if they dot want to give you soemthing in writing.. FINE that's their policy BUT TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE BEING DIFFICULT IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

Posted by Linda1003

Ok Im sooo not one to jump to FIND ANOTHER DAYCARE.. BUT REALLY..FIND ANOTHER DAYCARE!!!

most daycares give you a "gram" or something stating what your child did or did not do that day.. If THIS IS CONSIDERED BEING A DIFFICULT FAMILY.. OMG...what happens when something serious happens!!

OMG REALLY NOT COOL AT ALL. Im sooo angry for you!!! FIND ANOTHER DAYCARE!! UNACCEPTABLE!!!

even if they dot want to give you soemthing in writing.. FINE that's their policy BUT TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE BEING DIFFICULT IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

you did absolutely nothing wrong.

DS has been in 2 daycares and both provide, without me asking, a review of his day. what he ate, when he slept, diaper changes, attitude etc.

i would bring a notebook OR make my own sheet and ask they they fill it out.

what she ate for each meal. her mood. diaper changes or potty attempts. sleep habits.



is this an at home or a center?

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

You are absolutely right in asking for a daily sheet on your DD. Our daycare is an in-home daycare, not licensed and they gove us a daily sheet on the twins. Every other daycare center we visited before choosing the one we did told us that sheets were filled out every day and we'll know every poop, pee, bottle, everything for the day. Honestly, if it were me, i'd find a new daycare. I don't like hearing, "i don't know" when it comes to my kids.

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

I would look to leave too. What you are asking is a very simple request - every daycare I visited in finding a place for DS provided a daily gram - because the same person doesn't tend to be there all day long.

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

Wow! That is totally insane and you're small request was not bad at all!!
I can't believe she got so defensive b/c all you request is a sheet or some answers to her day.
DS is 2.5 and they have sheets. THey don't go into details (not in this class, but his waddler class last year the teacher went out of her way to write personal stories on what they did and what your child did that was special that day).
BTW... totally miss that teacher, but I do love this one as well. Just miss my stories

They should go out of their way to give you a little extra time.
Did you mention something about calling the head teacher or having a conference?
I'm surprised at that age they don't do sheets on what they ate, when they napped and a potty chart
Try and speak with the director again. Hopefully she was just having a bad or off day
Just let her know you have no issues, but would like a report or some time to speak with DD's head teacher once in a while so you know how she's doing
Sorry you're dealing with this and I cannot believe that the Director also said that the daycare doesn't sound right for you. How absurd!

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

I'm sitting here at work reading your responses, crying ... because I knew that the owner was totally out of line.

I know I need to find someplace else, she's just being a "bully" and probably a liar by saying in 20 years, I've never had these kinds of issues!

What issues?!?!!? I keep hearing "I don't know" and we're asking that this doesn't continue!

It's so sad because right now I really can't find anywhere else that meets our needs, I'm going to keep looking, very hard, but let me tell you ..... when the owner attacked me (and my husband, he was on the call) this way, I just felt sick.

Thanks for the support, boy did I need it today!

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

I'll be honest. Regardless of what the situation is, if my daycare director told me that maybe their school was not the right fit for my DC, I would immediately be looking for a new place for her. Simply because that would make me question whether or not they wanted her there.

My DD turned 2 in December and in her room we get a little note at the end of the day. I have to say, though, I barely look at it. It says that she napped, it says that she ate, it says that she had wet and poopy diapers. Most days I even forget to grab it. The only time I really pay attention to it is if I know she's been having a hard time pooping, I look at it to make sure she went. When she was in the infant room, I really looked at those notes every day, but as she is getting older they aren't as important to me.

The end of the day is insane in my DD class. There are still a lot of kids left in the room and it's hard to talk to the teachers who are there. Quite frankly, I would rather wait until the morning when I drop her off to talk to her head teachers if I have any questions. I also know a lot of the teachers in the afternoon are part time and might only be there for a couple of hours so they really can't tell me about the day.

It sounds to me like the parents they have at her school haven't spoken up about needing or wanting a note or a verbal explanation of how the day went. Please understand that I don't think what you are asking is too much and you certainly deserve that since your child is there so many hours a day. I find it strange that the director would lecture you for 40 minutes about such a simple request. But for me, I would find a new school. The whole situation doesn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy or welcome.

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

I'd like to find a daycare/preschool in the Commack area.

I unfortunately need full time / plus a summer program.

This is truly a mess, as I feel the teachers are fine with us, but the owner has blown this way out of proportion.

I just don't feel I can stay somewhere that bringing an issue/concern or request to the owner is going to result in World War three!

She's went as far as to say she "won't have her teachers disrespected", for the life of me, how we disrespected the teachrs by voicing our request to ensure we get some quick updates about her DD when we pick her up (she's often alone at that hour!!!)

I'm embarrased to say that my family has apologized to the teachers if we "upset" them, but in my heart of hearts, somethings not right here. I'm the first to admit if I did something wrong, but I don't see what we could have done differently her. It's crazy!

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

omg! I feel for you. We went down that route a few months ago. We looked, and looked but decided to stay put. Our current daycare offerred to bump DS up to the next class.
My first choice was http://www.kiddiecarelearning.com/
It's fairly new so most pll don't know about it. They serve all organic food and snack. My only concern was the lack of air conditioning, especially in the gym.
Good luck!

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

I used to work at a day care in the VA center in Northport. Not sure how far that is for you but they are excellent. All of their ratios are by the book, they give updates constantly to the parents and they even do reviews on the children. I have worked at the 3 and they are by the far the best. The are year round and once your LO gets older they even have a summer camp for school age kids. You should def check them out.

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

Hrm Under 3 for us it is standard practice. I had to get used to it after she moved to a primary class.

I used to fight one daycare all the time about this and they had it as a practice (but one they failed at). I need to know if she's gone potty because I may need to go somewhere and I have to know if I am gonna get hit by a full diaper before I can reach my destination. I need to know if she's eaten, snacked because if I am going somewhere she may not get any snack so I need to know what I can and can't do.

You aren't asking for much. I'd be ticked.

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

when DD first started DC (at a big daycare center) she was 2 and they did the worksheets which i loved. however that was the only thing i loved about the DC. i moved DD out of there 2 months later because she hated it.
i found an in home DC which she loves; at first i asked if they do worksheets, she said no; i said oh you know she was at this DC and i thought it was useful and great for me to know what she did, how she napped etc etc.
i even brought a copy of a sheet for her as a sample. she said thanks but they know what the kids do etc etc..
at first i was like ok but DD has been there for 5 months (shes 2.5 now) and i stay after for about 5-10 minutes and talk to them, what she ate, how much she slept, did she go #2, etc etc. - ive never had a problem with them answering me or saying i dont know; or you are demanding. I dont think you are demanding at all. I think we have a right to know if our DC went potty, or slept for 20 minutes vs 3 hrs; had an apetite or didnt.
What if she goes 4 days without going #2 & they dont remember or update you?

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

Tree of Life offers Day Care from 7A-6P. They are on Kings Park Rd in Commack.

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

My daughter just turned 2 and shes in TutorTime in Commack. We get a link every day and sometimes a note on something funny she did or said. I get mad at my husband if he forgets to take it cause I love having a small little look into her day.

Shes been there a year and I have no complaints.

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

find another daycare... they r not writing it all down, they should be

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

Posted by gabbie83

when DD first started DC (at a big daycare center) she was 2 and they did the worksheets which i loved. however that was the only thing i loved about the DC. i moved DD out of there 2 months later because she hated it.
i found an in home DC which she loves; at first i asked if they do worksheets, she said no; i said oh you know she was at this DC and i thought it was useful and great for me to know what she did, how she napped etc etc.
i even brought a copy of a sheet for her as a sample. she said thanks but they know what the kids do etc etc..
at first i was like ok but DD has been there for 5 months (shes 2.5 now) and i stay after for about 5-10 minutes and talk to them, what she ate, how much she slept, did she go #2, etc etc. - ive never had a problem with them answering me or saying i dont know; or you are demanding. I dont think you are demanding at all. I think we have a right to know if our DC went potty, or slept for 20 minutes vs 3 hrs; had an apetite or didnt.
What if she goes 4 days without going #2 & they dont remember or update you?

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

I'd find a new place.

This is a center?? and they don't have daily logs???

My in-home daycare gives me a log everyday. What he ate, when he ate, when he went to the bathroom, when he napped, & at the bottom tells me everything he did that day.

Re: Opinions needed - daycare drama

Posted by Wendy

Posted by laurasmile

My daughter just turned 2 and shes in TutorTime in Commack. We get a link every day and sometimes a note on something funny she did or said. I get mad at my husband if he forgets to take it cause I love having a small little look into her day.

Shes been there a year and I have no complaints.

That's so funny - I'm the same way!! DH picks her up and the minute I walk in the door I ask for her sheet and get all annoyed when he says he left it in the car or something


Our daycare center has sent us home with a daily sheet since day 1 (when she was 3 months and she's 31 months now).