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RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

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mosh913
baby boy coming spring '11

Member since 5/05

3133 total posts

Name:

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

I don't host many playdates at my house when I'm home, mostly because my house is always a mess Chat Icon Not dirty, but we bought a real fixer upper so there is always a project going on. I sometimes get embarrased that my house isn't as nice or up to date as others. I know I should be prould of what we have but that's just how I am Chat Icon

Posted 7/19/10 7:02 PM
 
Long Island Weddings
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doublestroller
LIF Adult

Member since 7/08

1179 total posts

Name:

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

i HATE hosting at my house for 2 reasons - it's tiny and we have no central air so during the summer it's hot and uncomfortable.

if we had more space and cooler air i would welcome everyone with open arms, i am actually annoyed that hosting house parties is not an option unless outside and planning a rain date for such an event is not something i would do Chat Icon .

but we make do. i reciprocate but always get stressed out in the process Chat Icon

Posted 7/19/10 7:11 PM
 

AnnBrunoXO
2 Girls For Me!

Member since 5/05

4377 total posts

Name:
MaMMa

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

I don't understand your post entirely -

Im a SAHM and do host some playdates and open up my home to other mommies and children BUT I do like when other mommies reciprocate and offer their homes at another day for a playdate. To me its not fair if I would host all the playdates at my house and not have my children and I invited to their home at a later date. I mean lets face it - your house gets messy during playdates and expensive at times (I always like to offer lunch, snacks, drinks for the kids, adults etc..) I love doing it but its cool when it gets reciprocated too. Our circle of friends have big and small homes, apartments, backyards/no backyards, pools/no pools etc. - its not how big or small a home is - its the simple fact that you are willing to open up your home to me and my children as I was willing to open up mine to yours. Our week also varies - we spend time at home with cousins and friends or go to our beachclub, cousin's pool and my kids have friends on our block that they will play with also.

Message edited 7/19/2010 7:45:48 PM.

Posted 7/19/10 7:22 PM
 

cjik
Welcome 2010!

Member since 2/06

8879 total posts

Name:

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

We go to playdates at other people's home, and I've had plenty in our house too. Other days I took DS out to the park, library, etc.

Posted 7/19/10 7:59 PM
 

SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!

Member since 12/05

20105 total posts

Name:
Lauren

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

I stay at home a lot. I feel guilty joining meetup groups because I don't want to have playdates at my house. My house is very small, and has a lot of stairs. Our backyard has no fence, and we have a dog and three cats- its not really kid friendly. I feel like I'd be taking advantage by going to others homes and never hosting. Plus I know a lot of the groups insist on taking turns.
As a result my kids don't really interact with other kids,which is horrible, I know.
Its been so hot the past month or so I barely leave the house. I just don't have the energy to get two toddlers in and out of the car and then do outdoor activities.

Posted 7/19/10 8:04 PM
 

nferrandi
too excited for words

Member since 10/05

18538 total posts

Name:
Nicole

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

I do it all. I just hosted a slumber party for the kids (it was me and two of my friends and the kids) because I have more room for that kind of thing. But we also go to my friend Nicole's a lot because she has 3 3-and-under so it's much easier for her. And we have standing arrangements on Fridays to go to my friend's pool. Then sometimes we will do playdates for bowling or gym places.

Posted 7/19/10 8:10 PM
 

A3CM
Avatar Title

Member since 9/08

3762 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

i am so looking forward to Sept when AJ starts school full time...

i can't wait to get back into the "real" world and not feel "trapped" in my home with revolving therapists coming in and out until 7pm at night

Carmela & I will finally get some time to do things from the hours of 9am - 3pm.

i usually have people here and all the kids (as we like to refer to it) are in therapy

Posted 7/19/10 8:16 PM
 

CrankyPants
I'm cranky

Member since 7/06

18178 total posts

Name:
Mama Cranky

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

I'm the opposite-I love having people over and would probably rather do a casual playdate at my home than go to a park.

I don't care if people ever reciprocate. Especially with Owen, it's nice to have easy access to his stuff (toys, bottles, food, high chair) but I've just also been up for having people over. Gives me a reason to clean my house. Gives Claire the opportunity to learn to share her toys.

I like going out to parks and stuff too, but play dates at home just seem easy.

Plus, they are in daycare. It's nice that they can just relax at home sometimes.

As for the curse of the cul de sac-we only get a taste of that since a lot of the kids on our block are older. But, my very close friend cannot shake her next door neighbors. Those kids are there every day at 9 or 10 now that the summer is here (girlfriend and other mom are SAHM) and it's tough when she is trying to get out of there.

P.S.-I love Dana and little Emma-Dana, if you are lurking definitely come out!Chat Icon

Posted 7/20/10 6:05 AM
 

ChrisDee
My Girls

Member since 11/06

9543 total posts

Name:
Christine

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

I happen to think that the age of your children effect this also. When Jordan was little we did lots of playdates out in public places as i now do with Peyton(2). Jordan on the otherhand is 9 and we either have a another child at our home or she goes to a friends house more often than not. Of course 99% of the time they do not include parents anymore. I love living in a community of families with kids. I love seeing a neighbor in the morning and inviting them and their kids for a spur of the moment BBQ or them asking us to come go in the pool. I LOVE IT

Posted 7/20/10 7:43 AM
 

DeniseMarie
<3

Member since 8/07

10682 total posts

Name:

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

I don't mind entertaining playdates at my house but since I am home all day a lot of my playdates are at places. We'll meet at the park, beach, etc. I think because we all want to get out of the house while the weather is warm. But in the winter I mix it up. Sometimes I will have playdates here, or sometimes go to their house.

Posted 7/20/10 7:54 AM
 

carolyns4cupcakes
C ♥'s F

Member since 2/07

6456 total posts

Name:

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

This is the answer to your post I guess...I don't do mommy groups outside LIF and have gone to minimal gtg's with LIF. I have never went to someone's house for a playdate.

I have only had playdates at my house but it's been with my IRL that I've known forever and it's not all the time either b/c of everyones schedules.

My kids go to gymnastics and dance during the week. If they end up having a playdate it's probably only once during the week. Although they enjoy having playdates, they never complain when they don't. They al have each other and play from the minute they wake up til they go to bed and I'm even talking about my oldest one. She plays with them all day if she doesn't have a friend coming over.

In place of playdates the 4 of us go to the park, bay, lake etc however, I'm not always on the go. Some days we are home b/c my oldest usually has a kid come over to hang out. It's her summer too. I have always rather her friends come over to my house vs my DD going to theirs.

Honestly, I think how you guys do it in Charlotte is really cool. I think it's nice that all you guys gtg and the kids just have a ball.





Posted 7/20/10 7:58 AM
 

Little-J-Mommy
I'm a Big Brother

Member since 5/06

8041 total posts

Name:
D

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

I usually host playdates. We have a big backyard with a swingset and it's completely toddler friendly and safe. Mommy can just sit and watch while the kiddies run around.

External Image

I like that Jack has access to all his stuff and that it's a reason for me to cleanChat Icon

I'm also lazy....especially now. At 9 months preggo, I don't want to schlep anywhere.

I think the fact that he's in a 5 full day preschool adds to my wanting to stay home factor. He's gone allllllllll day. At 3pm I don't want to take him anywhere, just want to chill at home. You want to bring your little one over, by all means...join usChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

We do try to plan things for the weekend, like the Laurie Berkner concert, but really we've just been setting up the blow up pool and having a blast splashing around!! We're taking it easy before baby joins us. Besides...starting Aug, it's birthday season around here. Seriously a birthday party practically every weekend from end of Aug to Nov!!!

Posted 7/20/10 8:13 AM
 

sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!

Member since 1/07

9764 total posts

Name:
Tricia

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

I hate having people at my house. Mostly because I am embarassed. I have a nice home but, it is sooo small. It is only 750 square feet with one bedroom which we share with Liam. I feel like a life failure. I do have the perfectly fenced in yard and whatnot.. But, honestly, my housing situation sucks so bad and we are soo STUCK so I would just as soon not have any other parents in my house to see how bad it sucks to be my kid.

That being said.. invite me to your house or go somewhere..

However, I do invite people over if I am close to them... I just don't love to do it.

Message edited 7/20/2010 8:25:11 AM.

Posted 7/20/10 8:22 AM
 

mommyIam

Member since 7/09

9209 total posts

Name:
Shana

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

Posted by Little-J-Mommy


IMAGE



Oh man! DS is only 4m but I'm big enough for the swings! can I come over to play? Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon


We're in an aprtment, its infant friendly, but I'm afraid for the toddler years, and having 2 toddlers here is too much for the space. So I don't imagine hosting in this apartment, but if I have a backyard like that, he!!s yeah!

Posted 7/20/10 8:56 AM
 

Belladonna219
HOT MAMA

Member since 2/07

2642 total posts

Name:
Belladonna219

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

I do all three. I dont do playgroups because I normally hang out with my friends whom I have known for years and their kids. We go to the pool, the park, to the sprinkler park, we go for walks, go to each others house for lunch or restaurants, reading time at the library. We do lots of different things.

Posted 7/20/10 8:59 AM
 

CrankyPants
I'm cranky

Member since 7/06

18178 total posts

Name:
Mama Cranky

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

Posted by sfp0701

I would just as soon not have any other parents in my house to see how bad it sucks to be my kid.




I wish I knew what to say so that you wouldn't feel this way.

I can't believe anyone would think that and I wouldn't want to be friends with any one who did.

I am sure your home is lovely and it's wonderful that you have a nice yard-my kid would live outside if I let her Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/20/10 9:03 AM
 

JenBenMen
party of five

Member since 9/06

11343 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

Brooklyn working mom here

The weekends we go to family (with kids) or we go and do NYC activities

Posted 7/20/10 9:11 AM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

Posted by CrankyPants

Posted by sfp0701

I would just as soon not have any other parents in my house to see how bad it sucks to be my kid.




I wish I knew what to say so that you wouldn't feel this way.

I can't believe anyone would think that and I wouldn't want to be friends with any one who did.

I am sure your home is lovely and it's wonderful that you have a nice yard-my kid would live outside if I let her Chat Icon Chat Icon



OMG! please don't think that!
A house is love and security. Chat Icon

Posted 7/20/10 9:16 AM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

deb-we are coming over!!

cranky-we would have a beautiful relationship together. Chat Icon

Posted 7/20/10 9:17 AM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

Posted by Belladonna219

I do all three. I dont do playgroups because I normally hang out with my friends whom I have known for years and their kids. We go to the pool, the park, to the sprinkler park, we go for walks, go to each others house for lunch or restaurants, reading time at the library. We do lots of different things.



I think that is the difference down here. Tons of transplants and no family or friends...I think that is why playgroups form so quickly.

Posted 7/20/10 9:18 AM
 

05mommy09
Family of 5!

Member since 5/05

15364 total posts

Name:
<3 Mommy <3

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

I work FT and on the weekends we get up early and get out...

I can't stand being home...

I prefer to go out- park, beach, indoor play places...whatever...

If invited over someones house, we go, but I rarely host...Its not my thing...

Posted 7/20/10 9:20 AM
 

CrankyPants
I'm cranky

Member since 7/06

18178 total posts

Name:
Mama Cranky

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

Posted by Janice

deb-we are coming over!!

cranky-we would have a beautiful relationship together. Chat Icon



Chat Icon Chat Icon

The only shade we have is in the front yard so we frequently set up kiddie pool, playdough "station" and water table right there along we a couple chairs and just let Claire and friends have at it while we sit and chat while holding the babies.

We look like crackers but it's very relaxingChat Icon

Posted 7/20/10 9:24 AM
 

nov04libride
big brother <3

Member since 5/05

14672 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

Posted by CrankyPants

I'm the opposite-I love having people over and would probably rather do a casual playdate at my home than go to a park.

I don't care if people ever reciprocate. Especially with Owen, it's nice to have easy access to his stuff (toys, bottles, food, high chair) but I've just also been up for having people over. Gives me a reason to clean my house. Gives Claire the opportunity to learn to share her toys.

I like going out to parks and stuff too, but play dates at home just seem easy.

Plus, they are in daycare. It's nice that they can just relax at home sometimes.

As for the curse of the cul de sac-we only get a taste of that since a lot of the kids on our block are older. But, my very close friend cannot shake her next door neighbors. Those kids are there every day at 9 or 10 now that the summer is here (girlfriend and other mom are SAHM) and it's tough when she is trying to get out of there.

P.S.-I love Dana and little Emma-Dana, if you are lurking definitely come out!Chat Icon



Chat Icon Want to be my friend?

Posted 7/20/10 9:25 AM
 

katiebug
I'll love you for always

Member since 2/08

4624 total posts

Name:
Katie

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

Posted by sfp0701

I hate having people at my house. Mostly because I am embarassed. I have a nice home but, it is sooo small. It is only 750 square feet with one bedroom which we share with Liam. I feel like a life failure. I do have the perfectly fenced in yard and whatnot.. But, honestly, my housing situation sucks so bad and we are soo STUCK so I would just as soon not have any other parents in my house to see how bad it sucks to be my kid.

That being said.. invite me to your house or go somewhere..

However, I do invite people over if I am close to them... I just don't love to do it.



Hey I rent a 4 room apartment and share a room with my son. I just signed a lease for an apartment in Bay Ridge, (very excited), but I am no where near being able to buy a home.

It is not what you home looks like, but the love that fills it. If people can't see that when they enter your home then they are blind and don't deserve to be your friend.

Posted 7/20/10 9:26 AM
 

sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!

Member since 1/07

9764 total posts

Name:
Tricia

Re: RE: PLAYDATES Curse of the cul de sac...are you a TRUE stay at home mom? sahm and working moms...

Posted by katiebug

Posted by sfp0701

I hate having people at my house. Mostly because I am embarassed. I have a nice home but, it is sooo small. It is only 750 square feet with one bedroom which we share with Liam. I feel like a life failure. I do have the perfectly fenced in yard and whatnot.. But, honestly, my housing situation sucks so bad and we are soo STUCK so I would just as soon not have any other parents in my house to see how bad it sucks to be my kid.

That being said.. invite me to your house or go somewhere..

However, I do invite people over if I am close to them... I just don't love to do it.



Hey I rent a 4 room apartment and share a room with my son. I just signed a lease for an apartment in Bay Ridge, (very excited), but I am no where near being able to buy a home.

It is not what you home looks like, but the love that fills it. If people can't see that when they enter your home then they are blind and don't deserve to be your friend.



You guys made me cry. Chat Icon I guess I am just insecure. My home is nice.. I love it.. I just wish we had one more bedroom or enough $$ to add one on. SighChat Icon I just get so insecure when I see everyone's awesome playrooms and bedrooms and my house is just.. well too small. He has tons of toys.. they are just EVERYWHERE! Every little nook, cranny or shelf we have is full of stuff. I guess it is just my insecurity. Chat Icon Thanks though.

I have to keep telling myself.. we own a home.. there are kids living in trailers and horrible conditions in some parts of our country. He has a nice home.. it's just small. I just have to figure out a way to make part of our living room into a room for him (build a wall or something) so we don't have a tween in our bedroom. Chat Icon

Posted 7/20/10 9:36 AM
 
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