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Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3

Member since 1/06

19197 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

deal with the tantrums?

Seriously, it's like a monster has invaded my otherwise happy and laid back kid.

Anything and nothing sets her off these days.

I know part of it is frustration of not being able to fully communicate yet. But by g-d some of the tantrums are utterly ridiculous.

Example - She threw an almost 30 minute tantrum the other day because she wanted me to put my shoe on (she's obsessed with DH and I having our shoes on... go figure) and I didn't put it on quick enough for her (I'm 6.5 months pregnant and can barely bend over, so I'm a little slow). She flipped, and I mean FLIPPED... threw herself down on the floor, did the floppy fish and screamed until she was blue in the face. This went on for almost a half hour. By the time DH left for work that day, BOTH DD and I were in tears because she had been throwing one tantrum after another for an hour and it was only 8:30 AM!

For the most part, I ignore it... but lately this is an all day occurance. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells because she's a ticking time bomb lately.

I know she's also teething, but is it also the age? Could her terrible 2's be starting this early? One minute she's playing so nicely and the next she is throwing her toys and throwing herself down in a fit.

L-rd help me when DC #2 arrives in 2 months.

How do you handle an 11 hour day with a toddler like this??? I need some tips before I'm put into the looney bin!

Posted 6/14/10 11:43 AM
 
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~

Member since 4/08

7758 total posts

Name:
colette

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

I wish I had some tips; DS got to that stage around 18 months and here he is at 21 months a *little* bit better but it's still good days and "bad" days. Most days are a little of both I've stopped trying to figure him out Chat Icon

My nerves are SHOT lately and I'm losing patience with it Chat Icon A half hour of screaming over NOTHING, NOTHING!!!!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon I wish every high school kid in the world could witness this live and in person, I have a feeling teen pregnancy rates would plummet.

There's gotta be a support group for us out there, somewhere Chat Icon

Posted 6/14/10 11:51 AM
 

Porrruss
Nya nya nya

Member since 5/05

11618 total posts

Name:
Amy

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

When Mads gets all Exorcist on me, I calmly scoop her up and put her in her room until she calms down. I did the same to her when she was in the crib.

Eliza is just starting to show the "witchiness" so we'll start doing the same thing soon enough I'm sure.

Good luck- it's no fun, I know.Chat Icon

Posted 6/14/10 11:54 AM
 

pickles16
Real Estate Professional

Member since 11/07

17227 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

I told you Chels and Samantha were separated at birth...Chels has GREAT days and AWFUL days, and I fully believe that it's the terrible twos starting early combined with teething..When Chels is teething anything sets her off and her tantrum are long and her attention will not be diverted to something else...We are ignoring them most of the time..although DH feels bad when she starts to cry so goes ther and coddles herChat Icon and I tell him he's just reinforcing her behavior!!!

Posted 6/14/10 11:54 AM
 

MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3

Member since 1/06

19197 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Posted by colette

: I wish every high school kid in the world could witness this live and in person, I have a feeling teen pregnancy rates would plummet.

There's gotta be a support group for us out there, somewhere Chat Icon



For real!

My DH tells me to just ignore it and not let it get to me...

Hellooooo....you are at work ALL day and only have to deal with maybe 20 minutes of it... not 11 hours of it! AND for the most part, the second she hears the garage door open at night, she is a bundle of smiles and laughs for him....
Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I'm quite worried over how she will be when I bring Chat Icon home.

Posted 6/14/10 11:54 AM
 

kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!

Member since 6/06

13519 total posts

Name:
Kerry

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Liam is also starting the tantrum phase. When we tell him no, or remove him from somewhere he isn't suppose to be, or leave a park or something, he throw a crying fit. Luckily its not often and only lasts about 1-5 minutes.

We generally ignore it. Its not easy though.

Message edited 6/14/2010 11:54:53 AM.

Posted 6/14/10 11:54 AM
 

MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3

Member since 1/06

19197 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Thanks everyone...

I know there is no "answer" but man... I wish we could skip this phase.

She just spent 5 days with my ILs while DH and I were away and my ILs of course said she was a complete angel.... I'm certain they were Chat Icon but if that's the case, I told DH she's going to live with them until this phase passes and we can go visit Chat Icon

I'm actually the one these days to give in to her and let her have what she wants, only because my paitience is thin. She's lucky I'm pregnant otherwise she would NOT get away with half of what she does.

Posted 6/14/10 11:57 AM
 

AtomicMom
LIF Adolescent

Member since 5/05

632 total posts

Name:
Denise

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

You have to ignore the behavior as much as possible....I walk away until my daughter calms down. I don't try to talk or carry her or anything because I get beat up in the process.

She (my DD) will eventually calm down when she realizes the tantrums get her NOWHERE fast...it's a mix of wanting attention and frustration. Sometimes its attention and sometimes it's frustration.

Another thing that helps is giving her "jobs" and chores to do around the house. She loves to dust and dry dishes, take the laundry out of the dryer, etc...anything that she can do that makes her feel "big" helps tame the tantrums.

I have a 10 month old daughter and my DD gets very jealous sometimes...keeping her busy and letting her help out with the baby helps, too!

Posted 6/14/10 12:00 PM
 

Goldi0218
My miracles!

Member since 12/05

23902 total posts

Name:
Leslie

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

It hasn't gotten really bad yet though I am sure it will soon. I just let her do it.

Posted 6/14/10 12:13 PM
 

MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3

Member since 1/06

19197 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Posted by Goldi0218

It hasn't gotten really bad yet though I am sure it will soon. I just let her do it.



I already know she's going to be jealous of Chat Icon

She was sitting on Lenny's lap last week and I picked up Emma (davenjess) and Samantha went nuts the second she saw me with her.

Posted 6/14/10 12:19 PM
 

Jencee73
LIF Adult

Member since 8/07

999 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Shaylie has her good days and bad. One minute she'll give me a toy and if I don't do what she wants, she smacks it out of my hand. When I reprimand her and tell her to play nice, all hell breaks loose. I'll let her throw her fit and pray nap time or bed time is soon.

DH and I have nicknamed her "The Tyrant"

Posted 6/14/10 12:36 PM
 

Elise-N-Matt
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/08

663 total posts

Name:
Elise

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Posted by MrsRbk

deal with the tantrums?

Seriously, it's like a monster has invaded my otherwise happy and laid back kid.

Anything and nothing sets her off these days.

I know part of it is frustration of not being able to fully communicate yet. But by g-d some of the tantrums are utterly ridiculous.

Example - She threw an almost 30 minute tantrum the other day because she wanted me to put my shoe on (she's obsessed with DH and I having our shoes on... go figure) and I didn't put it on quick enough for her (I'm 6.5 months pregnant and can barely bend over, so I'm a little slow). She flipped, and I mean FLIPPED... threw herself down on the floor, did the floppy fish and screamed until she was blue in the face. This went on for almost a half hour. By the time DH left for work that day, BOTH DD and I were in tears because she had been throwing one tantrum after another for an hour and it was only 8:30 AM!

For the most part, I ignore it... but lately this is an all day occurance. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells because she's a ticking time bomb lately.

I know she's also teething, but is it also the age? Could her terrible 2's be starting this early? One minute she's playing so nicely and the next she is throwing her toys and throwing herself down in a fit.

L-rd help me when DC #2 arrives in 2 months.

How do you handle an 11 hour day with a toddler like this??? I need some tips before I'm put into the looney bin!





When U find out let me know too! DS is 14 months and does the floppy fish too! I think it has a lot to do w/ him not being able to communicate what he wants and also not seeing me that much during "normal" hours I work most of the day- so when he is in my care I get a lot of flipp outs!!!

and like u I hope he gets it out of his system before his lil brother arrives in Oct
Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 6/14/2010 5:40:58 PM.

Posted 6/14/10 5:39 PM
 

Angel321
...

Member since 4/08

15553 total posts

Name:

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

please let me know what I can do....please!

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 6/14/10 5:40 PM
 

Jen2999
Baby girls & beagles rock!

Member since 8/06

10356 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Yep.

I just walk away and ignore her. I notice some days are every five minutes with the tantrums and then she will go a day or two with nothing.

She actually lays herself on the floor and then cries cause she is afraid of getting hurt.

I noticed that if I teach her the word for what she wants so she can ask for it, she is less likely to freak.

I taught her "Help" and that has helped BIG time when like she cant reach something or cant turn on a toy.

Posted 6/14/10 8:09 PM
 

DanaRenee
Fitness Junkie!

Member since 6/06

6470 total posts

Name:
Dana

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

I can't say I have it that bad but it is much worse for me when I am home all day with them (I have a 2 1/2 yr old & 16mo old). If they are having a bad day I take them somewhere...the park usually or a drive in the car...a playdate.

If I am home and losing my mind from bad/crazy/tantrum behavior I put DD (the 16mo old) in her crib and just let her cry until I can compose myself.

Posted 6/14/10 10:28 PM
 

bonitachyc
big sister status may 2012!!

Member since 5/08

3242 total posts

Name:
Lupe

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

my little one can't communicate at ALL. she's got the tantrums pretty badly lately...but i've also noticed it's mostly at night, maybe being overtired plays a role in it? i haven't let her go all out because i've noticed this isn't like letting her CIO at night in her crib...with tantrums she literally WILL sit there and cry HARD for a good five minutes.

i have noticed one thing though - if i let her have a good cry for 30 seconds or so then pick her up or give her a hug, she'll quiet down, relax and then compose herself. lately i'm doing that more than letting her tantrum it out because i have yet to see her stop crying on her own. the girl just goes on and on and on! Chat Icon

Posted 6/14/10 10:47 PM
 

DomesticDeeva
Tiebreaker on deck!!!

Member since 11/08

2088 total posts

Name:
Dee

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

Ethan just slammed his head on our hard wood floors tonight FOR NO REASON. I don't know where he gets this stuff from, but the tantrums are getting nuts.

When I told his ped. about his behavior @ his 15 month visit, she noted "terrible two's start early" in his chart. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon


ETA: I am scared to death of what's going to happen when we bring DD home in September. Chat Icon

Message edited 6/14/2010 11:47:11 PM.

Posted 6/14/10 11:45 PM
 

BeachMom
Love my 4 kiddos!

Member since 11/08

8346 total posts

Name:
Kristie

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

I wish i had the answer for you....we started the tantrum phase early at just about a year she started.

What's worked the best so far is to just ignore her when she throws the wailing throwing herself around tantrum....

If the throws the tantrum where she's wailing throwing herself around and trying to get one of us to pick her up we put her in time out(which is in the PNP for now with no toys)

It's a phase....they all go through it,,,you just hope they go through it quickly...For my older DD the tantrum phase lasted only about 6-8 months then we went onto the "drama" phase....i'm still not sure which one is worse.Chat Icon

Good Luck...it will pass.

Posted 6/15/10 7:12 AM
 

cjik
Welcome 2010!

Member since 2/06

8879 total posts

Name:

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

DS is 30 months, and he has been having tantrums since about 13-14 months. Unfortunately, I have to say they have gotten progressively more intense, even with the addition of speech. The good news is that I notice the worst of them come and go in spurts. It does seem as if roughly every 6 months, he goes through a difficult period and tantrums a lot. When it's over, he has often made some developmental leap, so that's probably what's going on each time.

At around 16 months, distraction and humor often still worked to get him out of a tantrum. So I think your best bet is avoiding these altogether as soon as you see signs of one starting. Lack of sleep and poor eating always makes it worse for us as well, but good luck getting a toddler to eat or sleep when they don't want to do so, I know.

Ignoring may work, a lot of people recommend this. Completely ignoring DS and walking away from him drives him ballistic though, and I've found it makes the whole thing worse. What works better for me is sitting near (but not too near) and doing something else, look at a magazine, etc., but make eye contact with him from time to time and say something to him quietly (in our case, he has words, so I remind him to use them to tell me why he's upset).

Good luck--I wish I could say this will pass quickly, though I do think the worst of the tantrums do come in batches, then you have a relatively quiet time (some tantrums but not as many).

Posted 6/15/10 8:38 AM
 

headoverheels
s'il vous plaît

Member since 6/07

42079 total posts

Name:
LB

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

DS really only throws tantrums when we say "no," so I explain to him why I said no (not sure if he understands but I suspect he does) and if he continues to cry I walk away and ignore him. That's the only thing that works. It is hard, especially since his crying sometimes sets DD off, but he is a total *faker* - as soon as something else catches his attention the crying stops. So there is no point in giving in to him or doing anything differently, it will just be something else the next time that sets him off Chat Icon

Posted 6/15/10 8:45 AM
 

JenBenMen
party of five

Member since 9/06

11343 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

I will tell you its a phase

I went thru it with my now 3 yr old and now my 15 month old is startingChat Icon

It helps to know it goes away when they start being able to verbalize more--at least thats when I noticed a difference

Posted 6/15/10 8:50 AM
 

Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!

Member since 10/05

29450 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: Reaching the end of my rope....moms of 16+ month olds how do you

This has been the longest phase ever for me.

We have good days, and then we have really bad days. The littlest thing can set him off (me walking past him the wrong way)

It's hard and I really have no answer. What works one day with my son doesn't work the next.

Posted 6/15/10 9:19 AM
 
 

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