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btdt or 3 yr old moms?

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LoveBeingMrsT
Love my Boys!

Member since 12/05

4648 total posts

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btdt or 3 yr old moms?

josh never hit the terrible 2's but the 3's have been DRAMA! he's really a great kid but lately he has times where he does not listen. we always talk about how he has to listen the 1st time. time outs work well but when it is something silly like 'go wash up for lunch' and he runs around the house like a mad man i don't think a time out is warrented. i usually tell him that if doesn't do it on his own then i wil help him and hold his hand (which he hates) and that works but then the next thing i ask him goes the same way. it's so frustrating when something that normally takes him 5 minutes now takes 15.

so basically what i'm asking is how do you get your 3 yr old to listen??? or do i have to wait a few more years?Chat Icon

Posted 6/10/10 11:12 AM
 
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Smileyd17
kids

Member since 5/05

20997 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: btdt or 3 yr old moms?

IDK, def there now.

I find myself repeating and repeating to do something...then get back talk,

"wait a min"
or "I will"

Finally for whatever reason, this works:
Im COUNTING TO THREE! and I start, ONE.........

By two, shes rushing around doing what I asked or coming to me.

I do send her in time out or take something away, a toy or something she likes to do, and do follow through on it if we get to three.

Posted 6/10/10 11:19 AM
 

LoveBeingMrsT
Love my Boys!

Member since 12/05

4648 total posts

Name:

Re: btdt or 3 yr old moms?

thanks for the reply!
ya i telll him if i count to 3 and he doesn't do what i asked then x,y,z will happen. so i count and he waits till 3 and then wheni'm about to do x,y,z he will slooowly do what i asked. he is so messin with me!Chat Icon

i take away toys too but that just makes him cry like i killed his dog.Chat Icon which makes my little guy upset.Chat Icon

Posted 6/10/10 11:26 AM
 

smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!

Member since 5/06

32461 total posts

Name:
me

Re: btdt or 3 yr old moms?

That's us! DS never had the terrible 2. Just some whining!

But man... latelly!!!! He started to get frustrated (because he can't speak or because he does not get what he wants when he wants it). So hitting started 3-4 weeks ago out of frustration. I worked on it immediately and his therapists noticed he stopped this week. He go in serious trouble with me from hitting!

He is coming out of his little angel shell and sometimes he is a lot of work.

I find holding his hand and tell him to "help me" works great. Like I praise him a lot. That he does such a great job. That he is my "little helper". I find that it alleviates outbust of negativity not to do something.

ETA: I have started giving him "choices". Like he can have a choice of 2-3 meals (no... I don't cook 3 meals. I ask him what he wants before I fix anything). He gets to pick. Sometimes he does not want anything. I tell him those are his choices. I will leave his choices by him. Then 10- minutes later I will ask him again. He usually come around and pick something. He feels a bit more empowered that way.

Message edited 6/10/2010 11:33:14 AM.

Posted 6/10/10 11:30 AM
 

FreeButterfly
hum...

Member since 5/05

6263 total posts

Name:

Re: btdt or 3 yr old moms?

DS is 2 1/2 - I've been working with him on his manners b/c sometimes he is fresh and doesn't listen.

He has also started potty training using a potty chart.

So, I created a good manners chart - the kid LOVES stickers. Maybe create a good listening chart. There is a really good website for free charts:
Free Printable Charts

Posted 6/10/10 11:55 AM
 

Elizabeth
Mom of Three

Member since 9/05

7900 total posts

Name:
"MOMMY!!!"

Re: btdt or 3 yr old moms?

haha BTDT definitely. I never really had terrible twos with any of them but 3 is "fun" You want to get 1-2-3 Magic, it works, esp with smaller kids. See if you can rent the video at the library for a quicker understanding of how to do apply it vs reading the book.

Posted 6/10/10 11:59 AM
 

Dani922
Here's to new beginnings

Member since 10/07

7258 total posts

Name:
Danielle

Re: btdt or 3 yr old moms?

DD started the same thing at 3. She'll be 5 this summer & I'm still pulling my hair out trying to get her to listen. It usually goes like this. "Kayleigh, please do x." .... "Kayleigh, please?" .... "Kayleigh?" .... "KAYLEIGH NOW!" Which is then followed by "FINE!" with a foot stop while she slams everything she can on her way to do whatever I asked.

I consider it a preview of the teen years Chat Icon

Posted 6/10/10 12:19 PM
 

chelle
It's a Good Life

Member since 8/06

15404 total posts

Name:
Isn't it obvious?

Re: btdt or 3 yr old moms?

Posted by Smileyd17

IDK, def there now.

I find myself repeating and repeating to do something...then get back talk,

"wait a min"
or "I will"

Finally for whatever reason, this works:
Im COUNTING TO THREE! and I start, ONE.........

By two, shes rushing around doing what I asked or coming to me.

I do send her in time out or take something away, a toy or something she likes to do, and do follow through on it if we get to three.




EXACTLY what we do. The "ONE....TWO..." is magical. Works every time. She always says "DON'T COUNT! DON'T COUNT!" She knows we mean business when we start.

If she gets really bad... she gets put in her room for a time-out.

Posted 6/10/10 12:30 PM
 

BaroqueMama
Chase is one!

Member since 5/05

27530 total posts

Name:
me

Re: btdt or 3 yr old moms?

Three was incredibly difficult for us. However, I found a few things REALLY helped. For example, staying calm and not yelling really changed things for us. because it was always a power struggle with her, if we showed our frustration, she kept going longer and longer. When we ignored a lot of her behavior, it went away.
We really used time outs a lot and they worked. We reinforced them and did not shy away from giving them, even if we knew a huge tantrum would ensue.

We would give her a warning, like, "Ava, if you don't stop jumping on the couch, you will sit in time out," and then we immediately followed through if she didn't listen. It took about a week for her to get it completely that warnings were to be taken seriously.

And just learning to pick and choose our battles was important. I found that we kind of harped on her for a lot, when in reality, she was just three and we had to learn to let a lot of stuff go. But more serious stuff where she could be endangering herself by not listening, we really followed through on.

Posted 6/10/10 12:35 PM
 

TiggerBounce
The Prince & Princess

Member since 7/05

4939 total posts

Name:
J

Re: btdt or 3 yr old moms?

This has been going on in our house for a few months- it's a bit hard on the patience & nerves to say the least.

Michele- what's been working for me of late is the counting to 3 with the "threat" of a toy being taken away. I'll say "You have until I count to 3 to _____ or else I'll take ____ away". Troy's terrified of toys being taken away & thrown away- I've NEVER thrown away a toy- taken away. And I stand my ground. He'll cry b/c he's upset, but I reiterate why it was taken away- most times he accepts it

Good luck- a "fun" (hah!) stage we're in!

Posted 6/10/10 12:42 PM
 

Bops
My 3 wishes

Member since 12/07

13625 total posts

Name:

Re: btdt or 3 yr old moms?

Posted by chelle

Posted by Smileyd17

IDK, def there now.

I find myself repeating and repeating to do something...then get back talk,

"wait a min"
or "I will"

Finally for whatever reason, this works:
Im COUNTING TO THREE! and I start, ONE.........

By two, shes rushing around doing what I asked or coming to me.

I do send her in time out or take something away, a toy or something she likes to do, and do follow through on it if we get to three.




EXACTLY what we do. The "ONE....TWO..." is magical. Works every time. She always says "DON'T COUNT! DON'T COUNT!" She knows we mean business when we start.

If she gets really bad... she gets put in her room for a time-out.



Same here too Chat Icon

People always say " What happens when you get to 3 ??"

And I always say "I don't know, we never get there Chat Icon "

He gets a time out when its a major offense as well...

Posted 6/10/10 12:50 PM
 

nbc188
Best friends!

Member since 12/06

23090 total posts

Name:
C

Re: btdt or 3 yr old moms?

Posted by chelle

Posted by Smileyd17

IDK, def there now.

I find myself repeating and repeating to do something...then get back talk,

"wait a min"
or "I will"

Finally for whatever reason, this works:
Im COUNTING TO THREE! and I start, ONE.........

By two, shes rushing around doing what I asked or coming to me.

I do send her in time out or take something away, a toy or something she likes to do, and do follow through on it if we get to three.




EXACTLY what we do. The "ONE....TWO..." is magical. Works every time. She always says "DON'T COUNT! DON'T COUNT!" She knows we mean business when we start.

If she gets really bad... she gets put in her room for a time-out.



Soooo funny, DD says "don't count mommy" too Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 6/10/10 2:09 PM
 

LoveBeingMrsT
Love my Boys!

Member since 12/05

4648 total posts

Name:

Re: btdt or 3 yr old moms?

Posted by MsKitty1274

This has been going on in our house for a few months- it's a bit hard on the patience & nerves to say the least.

Michele- what's been working for me of late is the counting to 3 with the "threat" of a toy being taken away. I'll say "You have until I count to 3 to _____ or else I'll take ____ away". Troy's terrified of toys being taken away & thrown away- I've NEVER thrown away a toy- taken away. And I stand my ground. He'll cry b/c he's upset, but I reiterate why it was taken away- most times he accepts it

Good luck- a "fun" (hah!) stage we're in!



see that's one of the problems, i say i will take awaya toy and he hands it over and says he doesn't want it anymore.

counting works but like i said in an earlier post he waits till 3 and then slwly does what we asked (totally messing with us.)

i try to pick and choose the battles like rachel suggested but it just seems like everything is a battle these days.

and when I ignore HIM, he says "mommy i'm not talking to you anymore!"
Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 6/10/10 2:58 PM
 

AtomicMom
LIF Adolescent

Member since 5/05

632 total posts

Name:
Denise

Re: btdt or 3 yr old moms?

Posted by LoveBeingMrsT

thanks for the reply!
ya i telll him if i count to 3 and he doesn't do what i asked then x,y,z will happen. so i count and he waits till 3 and then wheni'm about to do x,y,z he will slooowly do what i asked. he is so messin with me!Chat Icon

i take away toys too but that just makes him cry like i killed his dog.Chat Icon which makes my little guy upset.Chat Icon



WOW...my DD will be 3 in a month and she does the EXACT same thing! It's like talking to a wall and like the original poster said, something that should take 5 mins takes 15! I think the "terrible 2's" were a breeze! I would take those over the 3's ANY day!

Posted 6/10/10 3:01 PM
 

Juliet
Family is Complete!

Member since 5/05

5913 total posts

Name:
Juliet

Re: btdt or 3 yr old moms?

Yup, three has been a challenge. Most days Sabrina is sweet and wonderful, but also going through this crazy phase where she is a baby animal for a week. This week she is a baby whale, last week a baby turtle. If I call her Sabrina she screams "No, I'm not Sabrina, I'm a baby whale." If I ask her to do something, she will tell me "Baby whales don't know how to...."Chat Icon Chat Icon

I keep hearing five is a great age. DH's boss' son is five and his wife claims that is an awesome age and life gets better and better. I hope!!!

Posted 6/10/10 5:36 PM
 
 

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