I'm going to kill DH........

So SUnday, yesterday, was my 1st shift back from maternity leave. Joe is sick and Emmy is still blah. It was a 24hr shift and I was a wreak about it. Well the shift went well and it felt good to get back into the swing of things....fast forward to this morning. I walk in and hear her SCREAMING that I have been crying for a looooooooooooooong time cry. I race into her and she is red, and frantic. Joe is sound asleep with the baby monitor OFF I pick her up and YELL at him. He took nyquil and must have thought SHE was the alarm clock and SHUT IT OFF Then I go to change her and she has the worst diaper rash I have EVER seen. Her bottom and va-jayjay look like 1st degress burns it's so red. SHe was crying and shaking while I changed her. I loaded her up on ointment and powder, gave her some Tylenol and she was THRILLED to see me. I fed her and went to put my milk away when what do I see.....6oz on milk spille din the fridge yesterday and guess who did NOT clean it up. I can not begin to tell you how horrible I feel. I feel like I failed her by leaving her with her father. I tried to talk to him and I know he feels horrible but I don't trust him anymore...WWYD

Re: I'm going to kill DH........

I'm sorry this happened. I think for men, in general, they need everything laid out for them. Taking NyQuil while home with a baby.. not cool. You need to lay that right out there. Maybe the babies crib can be in your room or in the pnp when he is watching. That way he will def. her the baby cry. I find Daddy's have a unique way of NOT hearing the baby cry.

As for the milk spilled... Men.. They will never learn. I would let that go.

Overall, He feels bad and probably will never let any of this happen again. I don't even know how my Dh would handle having the baby for 24 hours. They just don't have the same instincts.

Do you have anyone that you can have "drop in" next time he is watching DC?

But, I totally understand and I know you will be SOOO nervous next time you go to work. ANd for the record.. you did NOT fail her. Daddy has to learn.

Message edited 3/8/2010 12:30:32 PM.

Re: I'm going to kill DH........

OMGosh I would have flipped! My DH slipped once and told me he left the monitor off at night while I was in the hospital when DS was a few months old! OMGosh I FLIPPED on him!

Maybe give DH "One more shot at it" and no improvement, can you hire a babysitter?

I'm so sorry that all happened.

Re: I'm going to kill DH........

I have to believe it' sbecause he's sick, but still....If I had done that all helll would have broken loose. I just feel like it's a double standard. We did talk and he'll get another chance, if you can even say that about a father, but my Mom is on standby. It's funny we both thought she should go get her last night but didn't want to impead on this great father/daughter time we thought was happening.......another case of not trusting myself. When will I learn

Re: I'm going to kill DH........

Ugh, poor baby.

I'd give him another chance. I'd be willing to bet he's really beating himself up over it and the next time you come home from work it will be completely different. I know with my DH sometimes he needed to experience the negative outcome himself before he realized I wasn't nagging.

Re: I'm going to kill DH........

First of all It's hard enough to go back to work, even without worrying!!

I would let the spilled milk go... stuff like that happens.

As far as the screaming, the Nyquil, and the diaper rash, I would lay it out for him. Say something like, "I know you are still sick, but I am upset because...... " and put it out there.

I would not get a sitter becasue he's the daddy, he's supposed to be able to make it work. He doesn't get a pass.

Re: I'm going to kill DH........

I would lay it out there for him too, especially about using Nyquil while he is home with her. He really shouldn't take stuff that knocks him out too much while caring for a baby, and if he's that sick that he can't avoid it, then you need a sitter or you need to stay home.

But otherwise, I'd let it go. I remember DH sleeping soundly through DSs screaming when he was a baby (without nyquil or any substance). He just wouldn't wake up as easily as I do.

Re: I'm going to kill DH........

Posted by booklove83

First of all It's hard enough to go back to work, even without worrying!!

I would let the spilled milk go... stuff like that happens.

As far as the screaming, the Nyquil, and the diaper rash, I would lay it out for him. Say something like, "I know you are still sick, but I am upset because...... " and put it out there.

I would not get a sitter becasue he's the daddy, he's supposed to be able to make it work. He doesn't get a pass.

Re: I'm going to kill DH........

Wow that's a tough one.
to everyone

I say he's probably harder on himself right now that you can be. If the what-ifs havent run through his head by now I'm sure you laid it on him.

I agree with PP the fridge isnt a biggie just annoying.

But he is sick.. and its his first run. I say give him another chance. He's her father, he needs to learn.

Re: I'm going to kill DH........

I got so upset for you reading this e-mail. I can't even imagine how you felt to find your DC in that condition.

Re: I'm going to kill DH........

At 14 mos I still have to lay everything out for DH...I came home one day when DD was about 6 mos old to her attempting to eat the gel from her diaper that had exploded while on her He said she didn't think she needed to be changed...
Men need a manual

Re: I'm going to kill DH........

When I first started working (mostly from home- but I come in as needed) I would be here for BARELY three hours before he was calling me to come home.

I agree about the milk not being a huge deal- but I would still say something. That's just what I do

As for the Nyquil- tell him he is not to take it from now on unless you are home or has your mom come get her. Maybe you can put the monitor across the room on full volume so he has to get up to turn it off and wakes up enough to realize it's her cries waking him up- NOT an alarm clock.

The diaper rash shouldn't be there unless hours went by without her being changed- is that what happened? If so- tell him to change her every two hours!

He is her father and he will learn. It could've been alot worse

ETA: DD is now 6.5 months and I can confidently leave her with DH without a single instruction. It DOES happen!

Message edited 3/8/2010 2:11:06 PM.

Re: I'm going to kill DH........

Thanks ladies I know the milk isn't a biggy, but it was just another thing that was "wrong" and the straw that broke the camels back. He has felt horrible all day and is trying so hard to make it up to us. I'm better now, and after I calmed down we talked about everything. I think it'll be fine, but I never realized how much me being home "held it together" as he said. At any rate she is doing much better and the diaper rash is clearing up nicely.

Re: I'm going to kill DH........

I know my hubby needs everything in writing ~ Not all men have the instinct to care for kids ~ My son is 19 months old and my DH still freaks out when he has to watch our son! Good Luck!