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Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

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randella
Love my little man

Member since 8/05

16290 total posts

Name:
Randi

Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

What are the thoughts on this...

I have someone starting next week--3 days a week, 9 -2, and the following 2 days 9-12. I have begun working, but once the sitter starts, I will be able to dedicate more time. AND, I am working from home 95% of the time-- so the sitter will be with Sasha either in the other room-- or take her for walks/park, etc. I live in an 1100 sq foot apt. So-- it's not like I can go upstairs, in the basement, etc.

My mom is now retired and MIL was used to coming every week. Both want to obviously see Sasha, but part of the other reason they want to come is to help me. I figured good days for them to come is after the sitter leaves on those early days. The other 2 days a week without the sitter at all are days for me to do stuff with Sasha like playdates and such, so I don't want anyone coming. I also live an hour+ from parents/in laws.

DH disagrees with me and doesn't see it as a big deal for his mom or whatever to be here when I have a sitter here, who I am paying $17 an hour btw!! My mom will do whatever I want. AND, especially until me, Sasha and the new sitter are into a routine and everyone is used to each other.

I don't see why he has to argue with me about this-- I am trying to get Sasha used to someone else without a distraction, me figure out how to be productive--AND there is always the weekend, so what's the big deal? I am just so sick of the arguing and him not getting what it's like to have to manage all the people who want to see the baby- especially now that I have a responsibility to my employer.

Posted 2/24/10 9:28 AM
 
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JenBenMen
party of five

Member since 9/06

11343 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

I dont see why the MIL cant just come whenever the sitter is NOT there. I mean REALLY!!!!!

Posted 2/24/10 9:37 AM
 

randella
Love my little man

Member since 8/05

16290 total posts

Name:
Randi

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

ok-- so I am not crazy? DH said to me-- he doesn't want to limit the availability that she can come-- and her schedule changes every week.

But, I mean-- I am spending a lot of money for help, and I need to work-- and I make a lot of money hourly, so the extra disraction, the waste of money paid for the sitter costs a lot of money. I said to him-- let's see how it goes and we'll see how we can be flexible.

Posted 2/24/10 9:42 AM
 

headoverheels
s'il vous plaît

Member since 6/07

42079 total posts

Name:
LB

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

That's so strange - why would you be paying for a sitter if your MIL wants to come "help"? I say let your MIL come another time, or else tell her SHE can be the sitter Chat Icon

Posted 2/24/10 9:43 AM
 

MrsGmomof3
...

Member since 6/08

3290 total posts

Name:
Irrelevant

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

No visitors when you are WORKING and your baby is with the nanny.

Thats my vote Chat Icon

Posted 2/24/10 9:43 AM
 

CrankyPants
I'm cranky

Member since 7/06

18178 total posts

Name:
Mama Cranky

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

If your MIL really wants to "help" she should come the days you need her not the day/time your sitter is there.

Posted 2/24/10 9:47 AM
 

Salason

Member since 6/05

9878 total posts

Name:

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

Posted by CrankyPants

If your MIL really wants to "help" she should come the days you need her not the day/time your sitter is there.




I agree. I don't think you're in the wrong at all here!

Posted 2/24/10 9:51 AM
 

randella
Love my little man

Member since 8/05

16290 total posts

Name:
Randi

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

thanks for the opinions.. Honestly, it's not my MIL putting pressure- it's DH. My MIL is very agreeable and would never want to do something that would inconvenience me-- she just wants to see Sasha.

DH is the one who I feel like is bullying me and not letting me figure out this new situation. It's a big change and it hurts me that I won't spend as much time with Sasha as I have been able to in the past, but I know it's important for her and me.

I need someone here first thing in the morning, and with our family-- that's not gonna happen because of the "commute". It's important that everyone is comfortable with this new situation and why he doesn't understand that I need more than one week to figure it all out is beyond me.

Posted 2/24/10 10:04 AM
 

scarletbegonia
Mr. Handsome

Member since 5/06

13481 total posts

Name:
V

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

Posted by CrankyPants

If your MIL really wants to "help" she should come the days you need her not the day/time your sitter is there.




My thoughts exactly! Chat Icon

Posted 2/24/10 10:06 AM
 

JerseyMamaOf3
Boo!

Member since 6/05

15144 total posts

Name:

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

Since your family lives a hour + away, I think the best time for them to leave there home is 11 so by the time they get there and find parking it is a little after 12 and by then your babysitter is leaving. I would approach it like that to DH.

I agree with you though. Maybe your DH is nervous to leave Sasha with someone that isn't family and he figures one the mothers can keep an eye on them?

Posted 2/24/10 10:08 AM
 

JenBenMen
party of five

Member since 9/06

11343 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

Tell DH to work from home one day and see how easy it isChat Icon

Posted 2/24/10 10:08 AM
 

randella
Love my little man

Member since 8/05

16290 total posts

Name:
Randi

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

Posted by JerseyMamaOf2

Since your family lives a hour + away, I think the best time for them to leave there home is 11 so by the time they get there and find parking it is a little after 12 and by then your babysitter is leaving. I would approach it like that to DH.

I agree with you though. Maybe your DH is nervous to leave Sasha with someone that isn't family and he figures one the mothers can keep an eye on them?



that's exactly what I told him-- but then that leaves only 2 possible days she can come in any given week. Which I personally don't see as a big deal- but because her schedule is a moving target, he feels that doesn't give HER enough options. Forget about what I want.

He could care less about who she is left with. He thinks I am the over protective one.

Posted 2/24/10 10:15 AM
 

dnj925
I couldnt love him more !!!

Member since 1/09

1332 total posts

Name:
Danielle

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

Posted by JenBenMen

Tell DH to work from home one day and see how easy it isChat Icon




Good idea!!Chat Icon

Posted 2/24/10 10:32 AM
 

ckone
LIF Adult

Member since 8/06

3014 total posts

Name:

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

Posted by MrsGmomof3

No visitors when you are WORKING and your baby is with the nanny.

Thats my vote Chat Icon



I agree. That makes the most sense. You'll be paying big $$ for your family to amuse your daughter, doesn't make much sense.

Posted 2/24/10 10:35 AM
 

MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!

Member since 5/06

14562 total posts

Name:
Marisa

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

Um, if MIL is so intent on coming, why doesn't she come IN PLACE of the paid sitter ??

If not, then too bad - She can come when it's convenient for you -

That really irritates me, a lot of my SAHM friends have to deal w/ this - Their families feel like b/c they're 'home all day' they should be available 24/7 - Chat Icon

hey hey, wait just a second ....you're WORKING whille the sitter is there?
Um, no, sorry, you visitors while you're @ work - I don't care if your 'office' is your 'bedroom' too !!

Message edited 2/24/2010 10:42:17 AM.

Posted 2/24/10 10:40 AM
 

ABCiverson
<3 my family

Member since 1/06

7465 total posts

Name:
Amanda

Re: Family visiting when the nanny/sitter is with your DC?

Posted by MrsGmomof3

No visitors when you are WORKING and your baby is with the nanny.

Thats my vote Chat Icon



ITA.

Also, I am a babysitter, so from a babysitters POV, I wouldn't enjoy having to entertain the MIL while babysitting. Thats not part of the job description. Especially in the beginning when the child is still "getting use to" me as the new sitter.

Posted 2/24/10 11:17 AM
 
 

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