LIFamilies.com - Long Island, NY


RSS
Articles Business Directory Blog Real Estate Community Forum Shop My Family Contests

Log In Chat Index Search Rules Lingo Create Account

Quick navigation:   

Those of you who have full custody

Posted By Message

legallyblonde
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/08

850 total posts

Name:
K

Those of you who have full custody

I was just wondering how you ended up having full custody. I know it's really hard for dads to get full custody unless BM is unfit i.e. drug addict or mentally ill. I was just wondering if any of you have a situation where you were awarded full custody and BM isn't a nightmare (in the Court's view anyway).

BM in my situation isn't necessarily unfit but she isn't doing the right thing AT ALL by my SD now that she has a SO. I would love to be able to get custody of my SD but I don't want to start a losing battle that would cause my SD any further grief.

Any thoughts or words of wisdom?l

Posted 4/13/09 11:15 AM
 

EsquireFish
LIF Adult

Member since 3/09

1259 total posts

Name:
G

Re: Those of you who have full custody

I have no words of wisdom but I would also love to see your replies.

Posted 4/13/09 12:11 PM
 

hbugal
Lesigh

Member since 2/07

15928 total posts

Name:

Re: Those of you who have full custody

You mean after the court already awarded joint custody?

Things may have changed but New York state will only award sole custody to one parent or the other...unless they agree to joint custody...they recognize it but wont award it. So if the parents wont agree to joint custody one parent or the other will get custody....

Does BM already have physical custody? Meaning that she goes to school etc by BM?

IMO she'd really have to be messing up in order to get full custody of her. Perhaps changing the order to joint custody but that he wants physical custody wont be as difficult. But I really dont know.....

What is she doing?

Posted 4/13/09 9:09 PM
 

gpsyeyes
She's my world!!!

Member since 8/06

1184 total posts

Name:
Karen

Re: Those of you who have full custody

Unfit can be many things. I went through this with my DH's ex. There were many things that she did that either violated their custody agreement or was very negligent regarding school issues. We were advised by DH's lawyer to mark everything on a calendar. EVERYTHING! At the time of their divorce, they had joint custody with residential custody with their mom.
When she told us that she wanted to move to PA with them, my DH filed for custody. The girls were 12 & 17 at the time & once everything came out before the lawyers and the judge, DH was awarded sole custody in every aspect & she was given alternate weekend and some holidays for visitation. She ended up moving to PA and although she talks often to them on the phone, she sees them maybe once a year. It was sad, but it was the best thing for the girls and gave them a chance for a better life.

Posted 4/14/09 4:48 PM
 

legallyblonde
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/08

850 total posts

Name:
K

Re: Those of you who have full custody

I haven't been on for a couple of days so I haven't had a chance to read until today. Since then, all hell has broken loose.

DH and BM do not have anything legal. They were never married. They have always worked out everything (holidays, CS etc.) between the 2 of them and it has always worked out. BM lives in another town but SD goes to school in our district.

BM just got a job working nights. DH would love to have SD live with us F/T. BM had her new boyfriend move in so he can watch SD at night while she works. It is totally ridiculous. Why can't SD just come to live with us, in a stable house and be with her dad who gets off of work before her school day is over instead of some guy? Oh, I know! Because she wants her CS. I love how she thinks her kid is a cash cow.

I just think that if we did try to go about this in the Courts or through a mediator, we would end up losing. We won't get custody b/c her mom doesn't do anything particularly awful (SD loves the boyfriend), it will cost a fortune in lawyer's fees and DH will probably somehow get stuck paying more CS. It's very frustrating.

Posted 4/15/09 6:50 PM
 

anjerandunder
Positive thoughts worked!!!

Member since 6/06

1909 total posts

Name:
J

Re: Those of you who have full custody

no matter what the mother does unfortunately she will always get custody. bm was gone for a whole year and left the kids with their gp's and it took almost that long to actually get a court date but once we got a date, she returned and the court didn't even want to hear it. she had a million appearances in front of the judge and no matter what, the kids always went back to her. she in the end realized what she was doing and gave us the kids. after 7 years of court hearings.

Posted 4/16/09 9:56 AM
 

legallyblonde
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/08

850 total posts

Name:
K

Re: Those of you who have full custody

Posted by anjerandunder

no matter what the mother does unfortunately she will always get custody. bm was gone for a whole year and left the kids with their gp's and it took almost that long to actually get a court date but once we got a date, she returned and the court didn't even want to hear it. she had a million appearances in front of the judge and no matter what, the kids always went back to her. she in the end realized what she was doing and gave us the kids. after 7 years of court hearings.



This is exactly what I'm afraid of. Plus, I'm also afraid of the toll it would take on my SD. She definitely does not need any additional stress. Not to mention, I"m sure the stress of all of this would not be healthy for our marriage. I guess I just have to hope her mom will do the right thing by her. It is just so frustrating to have your hands tied.

Posted 4/16/09 10:42 AM
 
 

Potentially Related Topics:

Topic Posted By Started Replies Forum
UPDATE: Judge Orders DNA Testing in Anna Nicole Custody Battle MrsQ 3/19/07 2 Celebrities & Entertainment
Breaking: Custody Hearing Over Dannielynn MrsBlueSash 2/22/07 0 Celebrities & Entertainment
K-Fed, I want a custody hearing STAT!! Libragal07 2/21/07 10 Celebrities & Entertainment
Britney Spears, Kevin Federline Agree on Custody – For Now Mrs-Beans 1/5/07 1 Celebrities & Entertainment
Britney & K-Fed Agree to Temporary Custody Libragal07 1/5/07 1 Celebrities & Entertainment
Kevin seeks Custody of kids... Libragal07 11/8/06 8 Celebrities & Entertainment
 
Quick navigation:   
Currently 86764 users on the LIFamilies.com Chat
New Businesses
Carleton Hall of East Islip
J&A Building Services
LaraMae Health Coaching
Sonic Wellness
Julbaby Photography LLC
Ideal Uniforms
Teresa Geraghty Photography
Camelot Dream Homes
Long Island Wedding Boutique
MB Febus- Rodan & Fields
Camp Harbor
Market America-Shop.com
ACM Basement Waterproofing
Travel Tom
Yoga Womb/ SECS talk

      Follow LIWeddings on Facebook

      Follow LIFamilies on Twitter
Long Island Bridal Shows