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BunnyBaby
Loving Motherhood!!!
Member since 11/07 1238 total posts
Name:
Audrina
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Have you ever been in this situation...
I have a very old friend- one of my oldest & best friends. In fact, she was my MOH at my wedding- (I chose her over my older sister -thats how tight we were!!)
For the past few months, it seems as if our friendship has been slowly slipping away- mainly because of our conflicting schedules. Shes made new friends and has been spending more time with them - which is great! (seriously, I'm happy for her)
So I hung out with her yesterday at the mall- she seemed very distant from me. Like she was telling me where she went.. who she hung out with, how late she stayed out. She was on her cellphone talking to her friends like 50% of the time I was with her. I'm very patient so I didn't care too much.
To make what could be a long winding post even longer than it is... My question is this...
Have you ever had a friendship that you knew was falling apart (for whatever reason - maybe even NO REASON AT ALL!!) How did you handle it?
BTW- Having a talk with her is out of the question. Call me really horrible, but I swear, shes not the person she once was so I dont care become any closer to this girl.
She has her life.. I have mine. I rather it just stay that way.
Message edited 12/1/2007 10:10:18 AM.
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Posted 12/1/07 10:09 AM  |
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Dani922
Here's to new beginnings
Member since 10/07 7260 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Have you ever been in this situation...
I feel like I could have written this. I met my friend on the first day of middle school & we were inseperable from that moment. After we graduated high school (which was in '05  ) we slowly started to separate, but we did stay close. By the time my wedding came around, I hardly spoke to her anymore. Again, mostly because of conflicting schedules. She's busy with school, work & her boyfriend & new friends, & I'm busy with school, work, the hubby, & DD.
I was married on 9/22 & honestly, I was so upset with her that day. I was surprised by the person she turned into. She even went as far as to tell my Dh that I was "being a total bridezilla" because I asked her to put her PDA with her little boyfriend on hold for a minute so we could take pro-pics. Even my parents said somethiing to me the day after the wedding about how she's turned into a different person completely and not in a good way (she gave them A TON of trouble over my shower).
Two months later, I've seen her ONCE since the wedding. We went out to dinner & to the mall. It was nice to catch up, but she was telling me some stories that had me  . They were about some very immature things that I thought we had grown way past at our age. It makes me so sad that we are growing apart especially because I don't really know what to do about it. I think we've mutually stopped referring to each other as "best friends".
 I know what you're going through. It's tough.
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| Posted 12/1/07 10:19 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Have you ever been in this situation...
Posted by BunnyBaby
She has her life.. I have mine. I rather it just stay that way.
I think this sentence says it all...
and to answer your Q, yes, I have drifted apart from really close friends. it happens... people change and go their separate ways.
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| Posted 12/1/07 10:20 AM |
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BunnyBaby
Loving Motherhood!!!
Member since 11/07 1238 total posts
Name:
Audrina
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Re: Have you ever been in this situation...
Posted by Dani922
I think we've mutually stopped referring to each other as "best friends".
This is a perfect way of describing my situation!
So sorry you went through this. 
Message edited 12/1/2007 10:22:17 AM.
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| Posted 12/1/07 10:22 AM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Have you ever been in this situation...
It is so uncomfortable for me to be around some of my old friends for this same reason. Some I have just let slip away but others I just keep a mainly phone/e-mail relationship with. It sounds like you two are just at different places in life and sometimes that alone can change the friendship.
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| Posted 12/1/07 10:22 AM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Have you ever been in this situation...
See, I view it differently...I think that the relationship can change, but you don't have to drift apart.
Right now she is in a different place than you and you don't want to do what she is doing and vice versa. That doesn't mean the friendship has to end, it's just in a different place right now.
She may get married in a couple years and the two of you will pick up again...it's all relative.
I have two friends that I have been very close to for twenty years. One I see every couple of months and the other I see every couple of weeks. We are still great friends, we are just in different places right now. None of it means I love them any less.
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| Posted 12/1/07 10:24 AM |
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Reese32
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 3631 total posts
Name:
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Re: Have you ever been in this situation...
Posted by Gertyrae
See, I view it differently...I think that the relationship can change, but you don't have to drift apart.
This is how I see it. My relationship with one of my closest, oldest friends has changed drastically over the past few years. Honestly, she is no longer as close as she used to be, but I will always consider her a friend.
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| Posted 12/1/07 10:29 AM |
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sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!
Member since 10/05 20369 total posts
Name:
Jesss, duh.
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Re: Have you ever been in this situation...
Posted by Gertyrae
See, I view it differently...I think that the relationship can change, but you don't have to drift apart.
Right now she is in a different place than you and you don't want to do what she is doing and vice versa. That doesn't mean the friendship has to end, it's just in a different place right now.
She may get married in a couple years and the two of you will pick up again...it's all relative.
I have two friends that I have been very close to for twenty years. One I see every couple of months and the other I see every couple of weeks. We are still great friends, we are just in different places right now. None of it means I love them any less.
ITA! I have a couple of friends that always to seem a couple steps behind me. Which is totally fine. We see each other occasionally and catch up and go on our merry ways. We are still great friends and our differences haven't changed our friendship at all.
You may think was she has to say is immature and she may feel that what you have to talk about is way out of her league. What matters is you are each interested in what each other is doing. And to offer best advice (whether it be based on personal experience, or what she would do in your situation) when asked for. And at the end of the day you know if you need something she'd be there for you and vice versa.
Try to understand not everyone you come in contact with is on the same level as you. And be understanding of that. DH's best friend is 26 still going to bars every weekend, flaking around with a "career", looking for boobs and a$$es, not wife material. And DH and him are having a hard time lately because neither want to compromise. Friend doesn't want to come over to watch the game, he wants to go to the latest club which DH clearly has no interest in.
Try to be able to compromise. I think it's one of the most important part of friendship.
Sorry so long! 
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| Posted 12/1/07 10:34 AM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Have you ever been in this situation...
The nature of friendships change over time.
I had a friend who I was in separable with from the time we were 2 years old. We practically grew up in each other's homes. Even through college, when we were in different states, we remained close. After college, we drifted apart as our lives took us in different directions. I reached out to her when my father had gotten ill and then when he passed away, and she was non responsive. I should have expected it, but I was still disappointed.
I'll be honest, I make an effort to spend time with my single friends, but I find I have more in common with my married friends.
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| Posted 12/1/07 10:50 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Have you ever been in this situation...
Posted by Reese32
Posted by Gertyrae
See, I view it differently...I think that the relationship can change, but you don't have to drift apart.
This is how I see it. My relationship with one of my closest, oldest friends has changed drastically over the past few years. Honestly, she is no longer as close as she used to be, but I will always consider her a friend.
I have a similar situation and think I feel the same way. Although it does make me resentful when I don't speak to this person for weeks on end..so I don't know how long that will last
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| Posted 12/1/07 11:32 AM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Have you ever been in this situation...
Posted by mikeswife06
It is so uncomfortable for me to be around some of my old friends for this same reason. Some I have just let slip away but others I just keep a mainly phone/e-mail relationship with. It sounds like you two are just at different places in life and sometimes that alone can change the friendship.
Same with me. I really do think that when you are in different places in your life, it will likely change the relationship at some point.
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| Posted 12/1/07 11:51 AM |
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