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does anyone hate their SIL

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Someone
LIF Zygote

Member since 4/07

11 total posts

Name:

does anyone hate their SIL

(long time poster just wanted to have an alter ego)

hate their SIL
I hate her!
I got into a huge fight with her again and finally just said...."I just don't like you"
she is such a b*tch I can't stand her

I understand she is mad at me because I never really go see my nephew and I know this is my loss and I wish it was different but
My brother and I dont have much of a relationship. I've tried calling him and talking to him but he doesnt return phone calls.
Im told I have an open invitation to their house but honestly my bro has a drinking problem and I really dont want to see it anymore! Ive tried to talk to him about it and he blows me off. This has been going on for years and it was a decision of mine to walk away (I cant fix him) and she condones him drinking!
I just cant watch anymore.
On top of it I hate the way she treats my nephews! SHe favors the one over the other and personally she is a little to hand happy and it tears me apart!
I love my brother but I just cant do it anymore.
There is so much more about my SIL but I just needed to vent a little

Whats killing me is my parents are moving out of state and its just me and my brother. We dont have much of a relationship now and I dont see it getting any better. In the next year or so I wont have any of my family

DH is so good to me though...he said they might now be perfect but I have his. I told him he is my family!

TIA - just needed to ventChat Icon

oh and becouse of all this I had a migraine for 2 days to the point I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital!

Message edited 4/26/2007 9:07:44 AM.

Posted 4/26/07 9:00 AM
 
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KGools
Happy

Member since 9/06

9531 total posts

Name:
Kim

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

Chat Icon
How do your parents feel about her?

Posted 4/26/07 9:09 AM
 

Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st

Member since 5/05

15287 total posts

Name:

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

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Posted 4/26/07 9:11 AM
 

lvdolphins
My Loves!

Member since 5/05

46292 total posts

Name:

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/26/07 9:12 AM
 

2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair

Member since 5/06

19861 total posts

Name:
Best Wife & Mommy

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

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Posted 4/26/07 9:14 AM
 

MsSissy
xoxoxo

Member since 3/07

38863 total posts

Name:

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

Yes...and we didn't see my brother for 10 yrs because of it. Not just me but our whole family.
They ended up divorcing and he came knocking on our mothers door asking for the families support. We gave it and now have a healthy realationship with him and his daughters.

I feel for you and wish you a lot of luck, I know how hard it can be.Chat Icon

Posted 4/26/07 9:14 AM
 

Someone
LIF Zygote

Member since 4/07

11 total posts

Name:

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

Posted by CoopersMom01

Chat Icon
How do your parents feel about her?



They don't really like her either but they tolorate her!
She would call my mom to complain about my brother to the point where my mom had to finally tell her if your only calling to tell me all the bad things about my son dont!
My mom and I through her a baby shower and instead of her being thankful she yelled at my mom and made her cry..."how could you do it today dont know its a communion weekend some of my friends arent here!" (her family wasnt going to do anything!) (this is going back 5yrs)

My mom told me...she her biggest regret was...my brother came to her a few days before the wedding and was having second thoughts...she told him it was just cold feet!

I love my nephew but if she is around when their here they are insane...they dont listen they scream and yell, fight. At my rehersal at the church the preist had to ask if their parent were around to controll them and she was standing right there! They were rolling down the aisle yelling. When their with just me and my husband their great!
During Thanksgiving the oldest started up so my brother started to correct him and I quote... "name, do I need to take care of this, you know he should talk to you like that" totally degrading my bro infront of my entire family and my DH's...the whole time Im thinking...oh cause you do it so well!

sorry still venting

Posted 4/26/07 9:24 AM
 

SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!

Member since 3/06

32345 total posts

Name:

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

Chat Icon I'm sorry you have to put up with her. sadly though, she is part of your family. have you tried talking to your brother about it? I mean, I know she's his wife, but maybe he can ask her why she treats you and your mom that way.

Posted 4/26/07 9:26 AM
 

Someone
LIF Zygote

Member since 4/07

11 total posts

Name:

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

Posted by Mssissy

Yes...and we didn't see my brother for 10 yrs because of it. Not just me but our whole family.
They ended up divorcing and he came knocking on our mothers door asking for the families support. We gave it and now have a healthy realationship with him and his daughters.

I feel for you and wish you a lot of luck, I know how hard it can be.Chat Icon



I told my mother that I hope down the road after she's gone my bro and I hope tol have a relationship with him again. At first she looked at me funny but then she kind of agreed

Posted 4/26/07 9:26 AM
 

IluvBo
NICKY & EVIE

Member since 6/05

3321 total posts

Name:
Rose

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

I have a SIL I adore because she's taking care of my brother who's ill, but the other one.............HATE, HATE, HATE her. She's a ***** and that's all there is to it. Never liked her from day one and like her even less today and it's been 20 years.

I feel ya painChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/26/07 9:31 AM
 

Someone
LIF Zygote

Member since 4/07

11 total posts

Name:

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

Posted by SweetestOfPeas

Chat Icon I'm sorry you have to put up with her. sadly though, she is part of your family. have you tried talking to your brother about it? I mean, I know she's his wife, but maybe he can ask her why she treats you and your mom that way.



The problem is my brother doesnt talk! he never returns phone calls (unless he needs something) and when he does we dont talk about the things we need to (Ive tried)
SIL tells me my bro is hurt by me and he tell her this but not me. So she takes it upon herself to tell me my brother has a problem with me. When I talk to him its as if there is nothing wrong, other then the fact that he is upset that I dont come over to see the kids....How can I come over, he's hardly home and Im not going there to hang out with her!

Posted 4/26/07 9:31 AM
 

MsSissy
xoxoxo

Member since 3/07

38863 total posts

Name:

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

Posted by Someone

Posted by Mssissy

Yes...and we didn't see my brother for 10 yrs because of it. Not just me but our whole family.
They ended up divorcing and he came knocking on our mothers door asking for the families support. We gave it and now have a healthy realationship with him and his daughters.

I feel for you and wish you a lot of luck, I know how hard it can be.Chat Icon



I told my mother that I hope down the road after she's gone my bro and I hope tol have a relationship with him again. At first she looked at me funny but then she kind of agreed



It really was the only way for us.
My mom even took them to court to see her granddaughter and they didn't abide by the terms ordered by the judge. It was at that point we all decided there was nothing more we could do and had to put it behind us and move on. It was causing too much stress on everyone.

Posted 4/26/07 9:32 AM
 

Someone
LIF Zygote

Member since 4/07

11 total posts

Name:

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

my other SIL (DH sis) I love her!
and this is even a problem with my SIL
"I can go over her house!"
I wanted to tell her...thats becouse I like her and my dh and her have a good relationship!

My other SIL was actually my MOH
at my shower the btch SIL actually sat at a table making fun and nastly comments about the other, not knowing that her cousin was sitting next to her!

Man do I hate her!

Posted 4/26/07 9:34 AM
 

Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it

Member since 5/05

29656 total posts

Name:
D

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

I have one I cant stand

Posted 4/26/07 9:35 AM
 

Someone
LIF Zygote

Member since 4/07

11 total posts

Name:

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

well, I love my brother and my nephews so much but I just can't do it anymore. I pray that my brother wakes up and starts taking better care of himself and his boys!

The hard part for me is...I never finished the conversation with her the way it was left off is more becouse of my brother (which is not the case) I wanted to write them both a letter but my mom doesnt think I should put anything in writing. I still havent talked to my brother so I have no idea what she told him. I really need to just talk to him but that seems to be impossible if he doesnt return a phone call

IDK...thanks guys for letting me vent
its nice to know Im not alone with this and Im sorry for those who know what its like

Posted 4/26/07 9:40 AM
 

Ltdentway99
LIF Adult

Member since 9/06

1752 total posts

Name:

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

I'm sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately, a lot of men do not wake up. You know the drill, he'll put his wife first. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/26/07 10:35 AM
 

alnem
This is gonna be a good year!

Member since 2/06

9562 total posts

Name:
Emily

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

to answer your question, i love my SIL but she has her moments of being a PITA. more Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/26/07 10:57 AM
 

Daybreak
LIF Infant

Member since 10/06

184 total posts

Name:
Dawn

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

Chat Icon I know how you feel

Posted 4/26/07 10:58 AM
 

Kara
Now Zagat Rated!

Member since 3/07

13217 total posts

Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

So sorry you're going through all of this. If your brother truly has a drinking problem, there is more to solving that than just him "waking up."

Your family should consider talking to a counselor who specializes in addiction so you can work out an intervention... Just a suggestion, please don't take offense (as I don't know the whole situation)... but it sounds like he needs help and it sounds like your SIL is codependent as well.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon for you - I wish I knew what to say to make it better. I have SIL issues, too -- and I have more than one to deal with. I understand the pain and frustration. I just hope things all work out for you - and for their boys.

Posted 4/26/07 11:12 AM
 

JP826
=)

Member since 9/06

10903 total posts

Name:
Me!! All about ME!

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

I am going through something kind of similar. My sil is not the peach of the family by any means. She has my brother wrapped around her finger- always had- always will. It is her way or no way, and my dumb brother just goes along with it. He puts her before his family constantly. Theres really nothing we could do about it. Your brother just has to realize on his own. He is in control of his own life and unfortunately, theres nothing you can say or do about it. I'm sorry you have to deal with this Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/26/07 11:26 AM
 

Someone
LIF Zygote

Member since 4/07

11 total posts

Name:

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

Posted by Kara

So sorry you're going through all of this. If your brother truly has a drinking problem, there is more to solving that than just him "waking up."

Your family should consider talking to a counselor who specializes in addiction so you can work out an intervention... Just a suggestion, please don't take offense (as I don't know the whole situation)... but it sounds like he needs help and it sounds like your SIL is codependent as well.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon for you - I wish I knew what to say to make it better. I have SIL issues, too -- and I have more than one to deal with. I understand the pain and frustration. I just hope things all work out for you - and for their boys.



believe me no offense taken
I've tried, I have suggested it several times to him and to the rest of my family... part of me feels as though I am the only one concerned enough. I know my dad has spoken to him (my dad is the only one my bro seems to open upto) apparently SIL & bro are going to counseling but according to her my bro doesnt participate much
(personally if I was married to her I would probably drink too!)
he has been doing better but she doesnt get it...she actually had the nerve to ask me...well why cant he just have a drink or two now and again (I screamed at her because he is an alchololic!) she just doesnt get it and as much as she says she hates it, she condones it

Posted 4/26/07 12:02 PM
 

BellaRock
I am all the Me I will ever Be

Member since 5/06

9746 total posts

Name:
She who shall remain nameless

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Sorry you have to deal with all this.

I have 2 SILs. My DH sister is great, she has is PITA moments, but otherwise she is really easy to talk to. My DHs brothers wife is always a PITA but I tolerate her.

Posted 4/26/07 12:23 PM
 

LIMOMx2
...

Member since 5/05

24989 total posts

Name:

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I am sorry you have a SIL like that.

Posted 4/26/07 12:50 PM
 

Jenziba
?

Member since 5/05

6265 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

That sux...
Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/26/07 1:53 PM
 

Kara
Now Zagat Rated!

Member since 3/07

13217 total posts

Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"

Re: does anyone hate their SIL

Posted by Someone

Posted by Kara

So sorry you're going through all of this. If your brother truly has a drinking problem, there is more to solving that than just him "waking up."

Your family should consider talking to a counselor who specializes in addiction so you can work out an intervention... Just a suggestion, please don't take offense (as I don't know the whole situation)... but it sounds like he needs help and it sounds like your SIL is codependent as well.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon for you - I wish I knew what to say to make it better. I have SIL issues, too -- and I have more than one to deal with. I understand the pain and frustration. I just hope things all work out for you - and for their boys.



believe me no offense taken
I've tried, I have suggested it several times to him and to the rest of my family... part of me feels as though I am the only one concerned enough. I know my dad has spoken to him (my dad is the only one my bro seems to open upto) apparently SIL & bro are going to counseling but according to her my bro doesnt participate much
(personally if I was married to her I would probably drink too!)
he has been doing better but she doesnt get it...she actually had the nerve to ask me...well why cant he just have a drink or two now and again (I screamed at her because he is an alchololic!) she just doesnt get it and as much as she says she hates it, she condones it



One option is to see if your company (or your husband's, if you are married) has an EAP (Employee Assistance Program). They can set you up with the right counselors -- or at least give you someone to ask about possible (if any) courses of action. Never attempt an intervention without professional help and preparation. It isn't the same.

At the very least, you will at least get some advice on where YOU go from here in this whole thing... and it may also help you understand better the dynamic (if you've never dealt with addiction and recovery (or lack thereof) before now.

It sounds like many involved are co-dependent or just plain in denial. You are a good person to care as much as you do!!! Chat Icon

ETA - I also don't blame you for wanting to walk away should it come to that. It's heartbreaking, I know, but you cannot change anyone. If they don't want to take the help, you need to help and protect yourself.

Message edited 4/26/2007 2:09:29 PM.

Posted 4/26/07 2:08 PM
 
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