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"you just need to relax"

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dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

"you just need to relax"

OK...we have discussed this before, how stupidly insensitive some people can be, BUT what do you say to that specific comment?

Lately I have heard this from my 2 aunts, over and over and over again. I avoid discussing TTC with them at all costs b/c of this, yet when Im asked, I do tend to give a little play by play of where we are at, and each and every time..its" once you relax, you will PG, you know that" ( do I ???) and the other one said, you have to maybe assume that the love between you and Danny will be all you ever have if you dont relax Chat Icon

I KNOW they dont mean to get me upset, but I need to figure out what to say to tell them, RELAXING IS NOT GOING TO HELP!

Chat Icon

Posted 4/13/06 9:15 PM
 
Long Island Weddings
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BigB
C & J are 10!

Member since 6/05

5914 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: "you just need to relax"

I have been close to knocking people out when they say this. My response now is, "Would you like to pay for me not to work and to go on a year long vacattio?" This usually leaves them speechless.

Or Better yet, I love when my MOTHER once said "If you wand something that badly, you will do whatever is necessary to get it."

I looked at her in amazement that she just doesn't get it...it isn't a choice about wanting and getting....it is so way more complicated then that!

Posted 4/13/06 9:35 PM
 

rose825
Best Friends

Member since 6/05

10228 total posts

Name:

Re: "you just need to relax"

maybe you can say something like "you know whenever I hear that it only makes me more upset, so thanks but that really doesnt help me right now"


or you could tryChat Icon



SHUT THE F*** UP!!!!
Chat Icon

Message edited 4/13/2006 9:37:42 PM.

Posted 4/13/06 9:37 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: "you just need to relax"

Posted by rose825

maybe you can say something like "you know whenever I hear that it only makes me more upset, so thanks but that really doesnt help me right now"


or you could tryChat Icon



SHUT THE F*** UP!!!!
Chat Icon




thanks guys! Im thinking of saying either of these...

I thought I did, but its becoming like a routine thing, I mean, HOW DO YOU feel this is helpful??

Posted 4/13/06 9:45 PM
 

karacg
Babygirl is 4!

Member since 5/05

17076 total posts

Name:
Kara®

Re: "you just need to relax"

or there is the "would you tell the same thing to a diabetic?"

Posted 4/13/06 10:08 PM
 

neenie

Member since 5/05

22351 total posts

Name:

Re: "you just need to relax"

I'm sorry Donna, but i have to say--- You and Danny are Crazy for spending sooo much time and money going to these Harvard grad Doctors, when you've got an IF Specialist right there in your own family! Chat Icon

Chat Icon

Posted 4/13/06 10:14 PM
 

Red
spring is in the air

Member since 11/05

2688 total posts

Name:
helen

Re: "you just need to relax"

Posted by neeniebean86

I'm sorry Donna, but i have to say--- You and Danny are Crazy for spending sooo much time and money going to these Harvard grad Doctors, when you've got an IF Specialist right there in your own family! Chat Icon

Chat Icon



I just figured it out !!

Seriously though, that is the worst ting anyone can say

Posted 4/13/06 10:41 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: "you just need to relax"

Posted by neeniebean86

I'm sorry Donna, but i have to say--- You and Danny are Crazy for spending sooo much time and money going to these Harvard grad Doctors, when you've got an IF Specialist right there in your own family! Chat Icon

Chat Icon



SO TRUE! I mean I might as well start asking her to bill me a co-pay ya know?

Posted 4/13/06 10:50 PM
 

Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!

Member since 5/05

20046 total posts

Name:
Gerty ®

Re: "you just need to relax"

Personally I would go with the

"Shut the F*C* Up!" response.

It's actually the most appropriateChat Icon

Posted 4/13/06 11:31 PM
 

Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses

Member since 5/05

15952 total posts

Name:

Re: "you just need to relax"

Posted by Gertyrae

Personally I would go with the

"Shut the F*C* Up!" response.

It's actually the most appropriateChat Icon



Followed by a direct right jab!

I took a few Tiger Shulman classes. I can make up a punch for people who say that.

I'll teach it to all of you at the next GTG.

Message edited 4/14/2006 6:15:17 AM.

Posted 4/14/06 6:15 AM
 

Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it

Member since 5/05

30683 total posts

Name:
D

Re: "you just need to relax"

Posted by Gertyrae

Personally I would go with the

"Shut the F*C* Up!" response.

It's actually the most appropriateChat Icon




me too, I was so sick and tired of people telling me that.

Posted 4/14/06 7:43 AM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: "you just need to relax"

Posted by Diane



me too, I was so sick and tired of people telling me that.



ME TOO..thing is I dont know what to say anymore to it and I want to say SOMETHING cause Im tired of it from the same person all the time.

Posted 4/14/06 10:49 AM
 

LisaW
Time for me to FLY!

Member since 5/05

13199 total posts

Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?

Re: "you just need to relax"

I just eventually snapped back that I have no tubes, so relaxing wasn't going to do anything. That shut them up. Chat Icon

Posted 4/14/06 10:51 AM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: "you just need to relax"

Posted by LisaW

I just eventually snapped back that I have no tubes, so relaxing wasn't going to do anything. That shut them up. Chat Icon



OMG- Im so sorry to laugh, but humor helps and I could imagine their faces if you said that!

I think your on the right track though...I have been avoiding answering the last email cause Im fed up, but I think I will LIST our problems and say unfirtunatly all the relaxing in the wrold cant FIX them.

Chat Icon

Posted 4/14/06 10:54 AM
 

juju
Welcome to the World!

Member since 5/05

6747 total posts

Name:

Re: "you just need to relax"

I would be a millionaire for every nickel I recieved for people saying to "just relax"

Posted 4/14/06 10:57 AM
 

teacherwheart
LIF Infant

Member since 3/06

347 total posts

Name:
Tara

Re: "you just need to relax"

I just told a friend to Shut the F up last night and it felt sooooooooooooooo good!!!!! I think I am going to start using it more often...

Posted 4/14/06 2:11 PM
 

michele31
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3372 total posts

Name:
Michele

Re: "you just need to relax"

Can I just say that the words your aunt said were really cruel. Chat Icon If all it took was to relax then every women who had a good massage, a yoga class and a housekeeper would get pregnant the next day!Chat Icon

Posted 4/14/06 2:19 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: "you just need to relax"

The other bad one is my best friend CONSTANTLY saying..."you want my kids, you can have them".... YES I WANT you kids, bad days and temper tantrums and all...so please stop saying that! Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/14/06 2:25 PM
 

PupettaBella
LIF Adolescent

Member since 5/05

538 total posts

Name:
Paula

Re: "you just need to relax"

Posted by dm24angel

The other bad one is my best friend CONSTANTLY saying..."you want my kids, you can have them".... YES I WANT you kids, bad days and temper tantrums and all...so please stop saying that! Chat Icon Chat Icon



One of my friends does this too. Her family is so fertile, I swear if you breathe on them they become PG. She is always saying,"RU sure you want kids? It's not all it's cracked up to be." Sometimes I just want to scream at her.Chat Icon

Posted 4/14/06 2:50 PM
 

Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses

Member since 5/05

15952 total posts

Name:

Re: "you just need to relax"

Donna,

You just need to do this...Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I swear you will feel so much betterChat Icon

Image Attachment(s):

Message edited 4/14/2006 3:25:17 PM.

Posted 4/14/06 3:24 PM
 
 

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