Why is this so hard

I feel like a complete and utter failure
Every month AF shows up and I feel like I just disappoint my DH more everytime
We have only been trying for 3 months, but its just so hard and exhausting and emotionally draining. Im just sitting here at work trying not to cry

Re: Why is this so hard

Try not to be so hard on yourself. I guarantee that your husband doesnt see you the way you think he does. 3 months is a relatively short time to TTC. Even under themost optimal conditions or timing and ovulation, conception is not always a guarantee - even if you are being monitored by a doctor.

I had felt "broken" for a long time because of my own personal situation and had to make peace with it in order to move forward and let this happen.

I wish you the best.

Re: Why is this so hard

I agree. We are going on our 4th month. I know that it takes people a long time and I thought I knew that when we started ttc but I guess I really really thought it would happen right away.
Don't feel like a failure. I know how draining it is. and if one more person tells me to "just relax" my head is going to explode!!
Just keep hope that it will happen. It will.
We went to church yesterday and lit a candle and said a prayer at the statue of Mary... Hopefully that helps.. I know it sounds stupid but... maybe...

Good Luck. Keep your head up. It is super hard because all those emotions that go along with PMS collide with all the emotions of TTC on the same day. Maybe do something nice for yourself today?

Re: Why is this so hard

[ "Im just sitting here at work trying not to cry
"

And I am sitting here reading your post trying to cry...

Re: Why is this so hard

I know how you feel, but I am SURE you are not disappointing him. He's probably wondering if it could be him too. I think it's so important to be there to support each other through this process. The first couple of months my DH told me not to get so worked up and that I had to stop stressing, now he's just as bummed and confused as me when AF shows up.

We both had physicals from our pcp and are getting blood work ups tonight. Because of a couple of prescription drugs that he takes the doctor also wrote up a script to have his sperm tested at the lab. I never thought that we'd have to go this route.

It is so disappointing every month but I know that in time it will happen, try and stay positive.

Re: Why is this so hard

Posted by sfp0701

[ "Im just sitting here at work trying not to cry

Re: Why is this so hard

I know how you feel - it took us until the 5th month to get our BFP. Everytime we would get a BFN - I would get so sad and blame myself. I spoke to my DH about my feeling of inadequacy and he was SO supportive. We talked it out and it helped. Believe me when I say he doesn't feel this way. Speak to your DH - it will help.

Re: Why is this so hard

Thanks girls
I appreciate all the kind words. They help very much
I have talked to DH and of course he had said I do not disappoint him. I still cant change the fact that I feel as though I do

Re: Why is this so hard

Are you getting your AF regularly? Are you timing BD'ing? How often are you BD'ing during fertile time? Do you chart your temp? Keep track of cervical mucous? Good luck to you

ETA: this is melijane-I didn't realize I was signed in under my sisters name

Message edited 8/27/2007 12:02:21 PM.

Re: Why is this so hard

Posted by kmac

Posted by sfp0701

[ "Im just sitting here at work trying not to cry

"

And I am sitting here reading your post trying to cry...

Re: Why is this so hard

Posted by stephanief

Are you getting your AF regularly? Are you timing BD'ing? How often are you BD'ing during fertile time? Do you chart your temp? Keep track of cervical mucous? Good luck to you

ETA: this is melijane-I didn't realize I was signed in under my sisters name

Re: Why is this so hard

it will happen!

My cousins doc told her after 7 months to just relax get drunk and fool around.. and it happened :)

I know drinking is not usually advised, but think of how many babies are concieved in the heat of the drunken moment...

wishing you the baby bug

Re: Why is this so hard

Believe me, I feel your pain but as hard as it is you really shouldn't blame yourself, it's not your fault.

Hang in there

Wishing you all the very best!!

Re: Why is this so hard

I know how you feel. I haven't even been able to try because I haven't ovulated since January... I have my moments when I feel broken and say that conceiving a baby is supposed to be a natural thing - and I can't do it naturally, I need help.
But most of the time I try to be optomistic and tell myself it will happen. I have had time when I apologize to DH for being broken because I, too, feel like I am letting him down - but he always reassures me that could't be farther from the truth. So hang in there, and for next month.

Re: Why is this so hard

Posted by Tigger77

Posted by stephanief

Are you getting your AF regularly? Are you timing BD'ing? How often are you BD'ing during fertile time? Do you chart your temp? Keep track of cervical mucous? Good luck to you

ETA: this is melijane-I didn't realize I was signed in under my sisters name

Yep
I am like clockwork every 28 days
I am using OPK and getting smiley faces saying I am O'ing. I also check my CM. We BD every other day from CD 8 until I O, then BD the day I O and the day after