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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
My shower is Sunday and I kept my invite list short because I didn't want to put that financial responsibility on my sister and friends (who are throwing the shower).
Long story short...my MIL added 6 people to the invite list without telling/asking me and I dont even know these 6 people well. Maybe I've seen them twice in my life.
So I was a little unhappy about that.
But what is really making me unhappy now is that one of my friends has a 7 yr old daughter. My friend takes her daughter everywhere and can't be apart from her for even a few hours. She brought her to my bridal shower (but didnt ask), she brings her to partys where people are drinking and smoking...and even though she was told no kids were invited to my shower ...she claims she can't get a sitter.
I don't believe it for a second. More like she WON'T get a sitter. Not to mention that now we have to pay for her child to eat - there is a certain price per head and the restaurant won't make allowances for kids.
I'm so mad because there are friends of mine that I didn't invite because I was trying to keep the expense down...and now this.
I'm sorry - I just needed to vent. I'm so mad about it. It's just so inconsiderate, IMO. It's one thing if the shower is at a house but it's at a restaurant and now we have to pay for her daughter.
Ok...am I being totally hormonal and over reacting?
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Posted 3/7/06 9:16 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
I don't think you are overreacting at all. It is completely rude to bring uninvited guests to a party.
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| Posted 3/7/06 9:18 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14007 total posts
Name:
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
That was extremely rude of your MIL to invite people without asking the hosts of the shower. You have every right to be upset but I'm not sure if there is a nice way of saying something to her. As far as your friend, if you really don't want children there, tell her that children aren't invited and you are very sorry, but maybe she shouldn't come to the shower if she can't find a babysitter.
But, if I were in your shoes, I would forget about it and just enjoy my shower! Don't let anyone else upset you!!!! Have fun on Sunday!
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| Posted 3/7/06 9:22 AM |
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KangaMom
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Member since 1/06 4593 total posts
Name:
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
WOW, I cannot understand the rudeness of some people  MIL was informed you were keeping the guest list down and goes ahead and makes her own rules? Let her pay for her 6 people! Your friend is wrong too!
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| Posted 3/7/06 9:28 AM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
Posted by Kate
I don't think you are overreacting at all. It is completely rude to bring uninvited guests to a party.
I agree!!
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| Posted 3/7/06 9:41 AM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
Posted by pharmcat2000
Posted by Kate
I don't think you are overreacting at all. It is completely rude to bring uninvited guests to a party.
I agree!!
I agree too. Some people are so rude and obnoxious.
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| Posted 3/7/06 9:50 AM |
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meandyou
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 501 total posts
Name:
kristen
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
i'm right there with you! people are very inconsiderate. first off, there is no reason for your MIL to invite additional people to YOUR baby shower. its not her party, its yours! (mine is creating similar issues- which does not surprise me at all!).
and your friend should just say she can't make it then. thats so ridiculous for you to have to pay for a 7 year old to eat when she wasn't even invited. its an honor to be asked to things like this. why do people feel the need to make it more stressful on those who's party it is or on the people who are paying for the affair.
just remember though, you're going to have a great time regardless! so, don't let them take the fun and excitement out of it for you! 
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| Posted 3/7/06 9:57 AM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
I might have to say something to this friend. The more I think about it, the more angry I get.
I know she didn't even try to get a sitter, this is how she is all the time.
She even brought her to my wedding!!!!!
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| Posted 3/7/06 10:36 AM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
Posted by MrsJ
I might have to say something to this friend. The more I think about it, the more angry I get.
I know she didn't even try to get a sitter, this is how she is all the time.
She even brought her to my wedding!!!!!
I am not sure how you feel about this - but maybe tell her that other people heard that someone was bringing a child and now many others want to now and it is getting out of hand. And say escpecially that there are no kids meals and the family has to pay for a full adult meal. And tell her that your family is starting to make the phone calls saying NO CHILDREN.
I don't know - something like that - I know you know what I am saying
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| Posted 3/7/06 10:46 AM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
Posted by Marcie
Posted by MrsJ
I might have to say something to this friend. The more I think about it, the more angry I get.
I know she didn't even try to get a sitter, this is how she is all the time.
She even brought her to my wedding!!!!!
I am not sure how you feel about this - but maybe tell her that other people heard that someone was bringing a child and now many others want to now and it is getting out of hand. And say escpecially that there are no kids meals and the family has to pay for a full adult meal. And tell her that your family is starting to make the phone calls saying NO CHILDREN.
I don't know - something like that - I know you know what I am saying
This is a great Idea! Also, if she shows up with her daughter everyone who got a sitter might be pi$$ed. I know I would be. AARRGGHHH!! 
I never ceases to amaze me of how self centered and rude people can be. I mean, if you can't get a sitter, DON"T GO. How hard is that? 
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| Posted 3/7/06 10:50 AM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
I know, this is so true, I didn't even think about it. All my other friends are getting sitters for their kids... Ugh. I have been trying to talk to my sister about it but she is better friends with this girl than I am and my sister isnt the most helpful person...
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| Posted 3/7/06 10:57 AM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
Posted by MrsJ
I know, this is so true, I didn't even think about it. All my other friends are getting sitters for their kids... Ugh. I have been trying to talk to my sister about it but she is better friends with this girl than I am and my sister isnt the most helpful person...
I would tell your sister to tell her that her bringing her child is going to cause a stir and no one wants to do that especially to not to get you upset.
I mean - I can understand a little more if the child was an infant. I had 3 infants at my shower and quite honestly - no one even knew they were there. The oldest one was 9 months old, the others were 7 months and 6 months.
Message edited 3/7/2006 11:01:15 AM.
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| Posted 3/7/06 10:59 AM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
I don't think you are over reacting at all. In all honesty, I would tell that friend that you are very sorry, but you can't make any exceptions and she can not bring her daughter. If that means that she can't come, then so be it.
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| Posted 3/7/06 11:02 AM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
Posted by MrsJ
I know, this is so true, I didn't even think about it. All my other friends are getting sitters for their kids... Ugh. I have been trying to talk to my sister about it but she is better friends with this girl than I am and my sister isnt the most helpful person...
You can just tell your sister that you don't want anyone else to feel bad if they did get a sitter and that you do not want kids there. HEY! I have an idea...tell her that if she brings her kid, she will have to pay for her plate. Then, I can guarantee, she will not bring her. I know I must sound like a B*tch right now, but I have family members who do this ALL the time. Two crashed my wedding with their uninvited daughters and their boyfriends!!!!!!!!!
I was fuming.
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| Posted 3/7/06 11:02 AM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
Posted by Marcie
I would tell your sister to tell her that her bringing her child is going to cause a stir and no one wants to do that especially to not to get you upset.
I mean - I can understand a little more if the child was an infant. I had 3 infants at my shower and quite honestly - no one even knew they were there. The oldest one was 9 months old, the others were 7 months and 6 months.
This child is 7 1/2 yrs old and not your typical 7 1/2 yr old...she needs constant attention from everyone and can't sit still. The last baby shower we went to, she was also there and was up tearing paper off packages...ugh.
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| Posted 3/7/06 11:03 AM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
Posted by MrsJ
This child is 7 1/2 yrs old and not your typical 7 1/2 yr old...she needs constant attention from everyone and can't sit still. The last baby shower we went to, she was also there and was up tearing paper off packages...ugh.
Something needs to be done then
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| Posted 3/7/06 11:04 AM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
Posted by Marcie
Posted by MrsJ
This child is 7 1/2 yrs old and not your typical 7 1/2 yr old...she needs constant attention from everyone and can't sit still. The last baby shower we went to, she was also there and was up tearing paper off packages...ugh.
Something needs to be done then
Exactly. 's to you Mrs.J for having to deal with all of this BS!
It is really unfair to you to have to worry about all of this stuff when it is YOUR shower.
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| Posted 3/7/06 11:05 AM |
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justme1
Proud SAHM
Member since 5/05 1955 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
I would def say something to her.. like the other ladies said.. tell her that a few other ppl wanted to bring their children too and before it gets out of hand u just wanted to make sure everyone understands you are not having any children.
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| Posted 3/7/06 11:12 AM |
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Cheryl
Horray for 3 boys!!
Member since 5/05 2354 total posts
Name:
Mikey, Greg & TJ's Mommy
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
Kathy-- Why is your friend calling YOU?? Shouldn't she be calling your mother?
Tell her that YOU are not throwing this party and are not paying for it.
Tell her that if she wants to bring her daughter she should really call YOUR MOM and talk to her and explain to her why she needs to pay more money for an extra uninvited guest.
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| Posted 3/7/06 11:13 AM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
Posted by Cheryl
Kathy-- Why is your friend calling YOU?? Shouldn't she be calling your mother?
Tell her that YOU are not throwing this party and are not paying for it.
Tell her that if she wants to bring her daughter she should really call YOUR MOM and talk to her and explain to her why she needs to pay more money for an extra uninvited guest.
Oh boy don't even get me started on my Mother and what she is NOT doing for my shower 
My Mom lives out of state and isn't involved in the planning. She isn't contributing at all (but my Dad is and my friends are and so is DH). My Mom said all this 'stuff' was unnecessary and that having it at a house with coffee and cake was more than enough and that even spending $200 on a shower is too much money. 
So...I told her to just show up like a quest and stop giving me grief about it. It's a loooong story with her...too long to get in to...
But anyway...yes my DH, my Dad and my friends are paying for my shower and in light of that, I've been trying to keep costs down for them, you know?
Wow this is another long-winded answer! I'm all fired up today!
Oh...I'm going to deal with her myself once I find out for sure that there is nothing the restaurant will do as far as changing the price for a 7 yr old.
Message edited 3/7/2006 11:19:43 AM.
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| Posted 3/7/06 11:19 AM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
Posted by MrsJ
Oh boy don't even get me started on my Mother and what she is NOT doing for my shower
.
Wow this is another long-winded answer! I'm all fired up today!
.
Must be the hormones!
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| Posted 3/7/06 11:22 AM |
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Cheryl
Horray for 3 boys!!
Member since 5/05 2354 total posts
Name:
Mikey, Greg & TJ's Mommy
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
Sorry I read too fast! I see you said sister. Still I'd tell your friend to talk to your sister. I'd distance myself from this.
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| Posted 3/7/06 11:23 AM |
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armeewife0514
LIF Infant
Member since 7/06 366 total posts
Name:
Tiffany
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
If I were the one planning the shower I would tell her that there is a reason their is a no children rule and unfortunatley if she won't/ can't find a sitter maybe she should think about not coming at all. My mother insisted I invite an aunt who I haven't spoken to in a long long time plus I don't really like. I said no!!! You have to stand your grounds. Otherwise people will walk all over you. Especially when it comes to free food for them and their children. Good Luck
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| Posted 10/10/07 10:04 AM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
This post is from 3/06 
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| Posted 10/10/07 10:14 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Vent and Question Re: Baby SHower...kind of long...
Posted by armeewife0514
If I were the one planning the shower I would tell her that there is a reason their is a no children rule and unfortunatley if she won't/ can't find a sitter maybe she should think about not coming at all. My mother insisted I invite an aunt who I haven't spoken to in a long long time plus I don't really like. I said no!!! You have to stand your grounds. Otherwise people will walk all over you. Especially when it comes to free food for them and their children. Good Luck
why did you reply to a post that is almost a year old??
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| Posted 10/10/07 10:14 AM |
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