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Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

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waterspout4
My loves

Member since 5/06

19150 total posts

Name:
Kelly

Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

My friend is a military wife. She just posted this article on FB:

Things not to say

Here is a picture of her husband coming home from deployment. It was printed in the local paper.

THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE SERVED!!!!!!

External Image

Posted 9/24/10 3:25 PM
 
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neener1211
:-)

Member since 4/07

22952 total posts

Name:
J

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

Great article, very well written.

Posted 9/24/10 3:32 PM
 

headoverheels
s'il vous plaît

Member since 6/07

42079 total posts

Name:
LB

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

I love that you can see the tears in his eyes Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

ETA: That article was brilliant!

Message edited 9/24/2010 3:36:37 PM.

Posted 9/24/10 3:33 PM
 

JoJo2010
Happy Family

Member since 8/09

6266 total posts

Name:
JO

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

This stuff always makes me sappy!

I think I might have said one or two of those things to a military wife. Never again! Just Thank you!Chat Icon

Posted 9/24/10 3:35 PM
 

SusiBee
. . . . .

Member since 3/09

8268 total posts

Name:
S

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

Excellent article.

Posted 9/24/10 3:38 PM
 

sometimesmommy
Always in my heart.....

Member since 11/06

6686 total posts

Name:

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

Thanks for making me cry. I know all too well how that man felt when this pic was taken.

Posted 9/24/10 3:39 PM
 

MarathonKnitter
HAPPY

Member since 2/07

16634 total posts

Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

just thank you. i promise to remember that

Posted 9/24/10 3:48 PM
 

SummerMom
Now a mom of 2!

Member since 6/07

4970 total posts

Name:

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

That picture is so powerful. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 9/24/10 3:48 PM
 

Pray4Baby2010
<3 Cutest Giants Fan

Member since 10/09

5796 total posts

Name:
MB

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

good article but there should be something that says what to say then- I think most people are just trying to be supportive and dont realize that they are saying something dumb or hurtful

Posted 9/24/10 3:51 PM
 

Kaitlyn747
LIF Toddler

Member since 6/10

399 total posts

Name:
Kaitlyn

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

Opens yiour eyes.

"He (she) is doing a great job. Thanks for marrying a bada$$".

Posted 9/24/10 3:56 PM
 

HeatherRose
Life is Good :)

Member since 11/07

6605 total posts

Name:

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

Chat Icon I've been guilty of saying I don't know how you do it.
But I've always meant it in an admiring way. I really give them a lot of credit because I would not be able to handle it nearly as well!

Posted 9/24/10 3:59 PM
 

saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!

Member since 5/05

16555 total posts

Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

#8 has me Chat Icon

it's amazing that anyone can compare going to london on business to going to war.

people are just unbelieveable.

Posted 9/24/10 5:03 PM
 

JessInCA
live laugh love

Member since 8/06

5082 total posts

Name:
Jess

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

I got pretty much all of those at one point or another when DH was deployed... never really minded the ones who meant well with "I'm so sorry," or "I don't know how you do it." They were sincere, and I appreciated the sentiment.

The ones who want to start a political debate were obnoxious though. I was in no place to be considering political rights and wrongs, because I was far too emotionally invested. I didn't care if the war was right or wrong; I couldn't care at that point. It just WAS, and he was there, and that was all that mattered to me.

Posted 9/24/10 6:17 PM
 

JessInCA
live laugh love

Member since 8/06

5082 total posts

Name:
Jess

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

Some good things to say: "We're grateful for the job he/she's doing." "You're making an amazing sacrifice." "Tell (whomever) that we thank him/her for their service."

Posted 9/24/10 6:20 PM
 

Lina
My angel is finally here

Member since 5/10

2559 total posts

Name:
Lindsay

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

Posted by JessInCA

Some good things to say: "We're grateful for the job he/she's doing." "You're making an amazing sacrifice." "Tell (whomever) that we thank him/her for their service."


I like these suggestions!

Posted 9/24/10 11:06 PM
 

CookieMomster
Golden

Member since 5/09

6414 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

I need to add one to this list because it is the one I get soooo often, and the one I HATE...
"Why Won't they end this war, it's senseless......" Do people really really think that saying anything that starts with this is making things better???!!! I just wanna say to them "So you think that our boys dying is senseless? You think my husband leaving his family and putting his life in danger is senseless."

PS alot of these don't bother me but some do. I don't think anyone from LIF has ever stepped out of bounds with what they've said to me. But I also try and think people have the best intentions.

That picture is amazing BTW.

Posted 9/24/10 11:42 PM
 

MsMBV
:P

Member since 5/05

28602 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

Posted by libby2595

just thank you. i promise to remember that

A friend of mine from HS is currently deployed to Afghanistan. We are friends of FB & I have also friended his wife. She is an awesome person, and they are expecting their first child together.

He does post from Afghanistan on a regular basis, and she does as well. He posts about things in the news, his feelings about what those of us back home should keep ourselves educated about, etc, etc. Recently he had a fundraiser for wounded warriors.

Inevitably, when he posts and we begin to respond, due mainly to the time limit, his wife will respond with a thank you, and let us know that our comments and support make it all worth while for the both of them. It always amazes me how strong she is, and also how well she handles the innocent yet dumb comments some people make. I always make sure to tell her thank you (probably so much its become creepy), and to always let me know if she needs anything.

Great article.


ETA: Thank you to all the LIFers that gave your own experiences. And please thank your SOs too!Chat Icon

Message edited 9/25/2010 9:49:54 AM.

Posted 9/25/10 9:47 AM
 

MsSissy
xoxoxo

Member since 3/07

39081 total posts

Name:

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

Great article. I will definitely keep this in mind.

I can't believe people would say this:
"Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there" Chat Icon Chat Icon

I do like the way it ended:
If you want to say anything, say thank you. After all, we are sexually deprived for your freedom. Chat Icon

ETS: That picture is beautifulChat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 9/25/2010 9:54:16 AM.

Posted 9/25/10 9:53 AM
 

chelle
It's a Good Life

Member since 8/06

15404 total posts

Name:
Isn't it obvious?

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

Posted by libby2595

just thank you. i promise to remember that



Absolutely Chat Icon

Awesome article, thank her (and you) for sharing Chat Icon

Posted 9/25/10 9:55 AM
 

Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3

Member since 6/10

10818 total posts

Name:
E

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

great article, thanks for sharing!

Posted 9/25/10 11:34 AM
 

MrsFrizzle
<3

Member since 9/09

4628 total posts

Name:
Kristin

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

Great article. I've never actually met someone who's spouse is serving in the military....but if I did "thank you" is at the top of my list.

Posted 9/25/10 11:50 AM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

great article!

I know a lot of wives who have husbands fighting...I am sure some of these have come out of my mouth.
So, thanks a lot for posting!!Chat Icon

So many of my neighbors have sons over there. They take such pride in these boys and seem to enjoy it when we ask if there are any updates...they also like to be invited on my walks in the morning.

The wives are a lot harder for me. I always ask them to let me know if they need anything. I want to be better about ordering them pizza one night or something. I honestly just don't know how they do it.

I also feel for the guys who are done over there. One lives next door to us...over there for 9 years. His family moved from nj while he was over there, so he bought a house down here and relocated. he doesn't know anyone...so i would invite him over, kept feeding him, make playdates for him and dhChat Icon .

now, forget it. His mother invited us to her timeshare at the beach, so we went. He has season tickets to the basketball games here, offered us any ticket he isn't going to be using, I am storing Christmas presents in his garage, when i have family come in, he offered his 2 guest
rooms...we took themChat Icon
so, what started out as me helping him has turned him into a great neighborChat Icon

Posted 9/25/10 2:07 PM
 

Peainapod
Peanuts are here!

Member since 1/09

13591 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/25/10 8:29 PM
 

8ternity
<3

Member since 11/08

10586 total posts

Name:
Formally NYPD-Wife

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

Priceless Picture, its all in his eyes...great article!!

Posted 9/26/10 12:00 AM
 

JennB
My princess <3

Member since 5/09

2473 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Things not to say to a military spouse or girlfriend (With amazing pic)

that article is so true! DH was in the Marines while we were dating and I think people have said every single one of the things on that list to me and you really wonder what the heck are these people thinking when they say this? I guess sometimes people don't know what to say so they will say something they *think* will make you feel better but actually makes it like a zillion times worse

Posted 9/26/10 8:20 AM
 
 
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