Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Posted by lorich

Posted by Ophelia

I agree with this 10000%. and I saw this coming from 10 miles away.

there is something about "tough love" at times that just prepares you better for life.

Amen!

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

I definitely see that trend at work with our right out of college new hires.

They pretty much want HR to fill out everything for them - they've asked us to pick their benefits and 401(k) contributions. Uh....no!

They want to be promoted without earning it first.

They want to be spoon-fed everything without having to think on their own.

It's kind of infuriating.

And the one or two who aren't like that wind up being our superstars, even though they are really only good by comparison.

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Whats interesting is that many of your responses had to do with young adults calling their parents on their cell phones to ask for help.. I wonder if the dependency stems somewhat from parents just being more accessible. I would say in the past five years, the use of cell phones has EXPLODED. When I was in college, my parents got me a cell phone for emergencies. It had a plan of something like 20 minutes. It was because I was driving back and forth to school and they wanted peace of mind that I had it if something happened. But neither of them had one. Before I had that cell phone, if I wanted to call someone and wasn't home, I had to find a pay phone. And no one else had cell phones either. It was much harder to get in touch with someone. So maybe now its just so much easier. Something doesn't go their way, they whip out their cell phones, and call one or both of their parents, who also have cell phones. Wheras as little as five years ago it was much more of an ordeal to get parents involved, so we took care of things ourselves.

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Posted by Ang-Rich

I have been reading a lot of the articles on this as well and have to say - the one thing I have been seeing more and more of is the "I am great" attitude.

A member of DH's family actually sat for 2 hours and went on and on about how great his is and how great his life is. What happened to humility? Even on the LIRR all I hear is I have this and that.


ETA: Makes me think of the cell phone commerical where a kid is fishing with his dad and says that he needs a phone - the dad tells him "you need to get a job." I laugh because 1-would never have asked for something like that and 2-that's the exact response I would have gotten if I did.

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

I also would like to add that I think another problem contributing to this helplessness is that parents don't let their kids "lose" or "fail" these days. As a result, when these kids become adults they do not know how to handle failure, handle competition, they can't take criticism, and they can't understand that they are not the best!

Now I am not saying we should have crazy competitive soccer games for 3 year olds. But as children get older, it is ok if one team "wins" and one team "loses." It's ok if one team gets first place and another comes in last. These things happen in life and children need to be prepared.

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

I am on the borderline of this generation (I will be 25 this July) and I think that this statement is correct to the point that a larger percentage of this generation is spoiled compared to the generation before. I think this has to do a lot with parents but due to many situations. For instance you have those parents that have money, have always had money, and have spoiled their children since day one. This means that this part of the generation is used to getting everything and not knowing what wanting or needing something mean. A perfect example the families on My Super Sweet 16 on MTV. Then you have the parents that didn't have money growing up and worked very hard to give their children what they couldn't have. This stems off to the scenario I just mentioned or it can go into another direction. The parents that teach their children value, hardwork, integrity and so on.

In my own family my parents worked hard for their money to provide for my brother and I but not to the point that we are spoiled. Granted we both didn't work till late in High School but that was so we can pursue our sports and other school activities. This did not mean that we didn't work or earn our keep at home. Currently we are both pursuing our masters and working full time, paying our own bills including rent to our parents.

My cousins on the other hand are about my age and do not know what is it to take car of themselves. They are driving in BMWs and Mercedes and getting gas and date money from mommy and daddy. My one cousin spent the summer not working so he could "study" for law school and refused to work. Literally refused to work. Mommy works so she can provide him with $$ for him and his gf to go on dates. (And by dates I mean 200$ dinners, nights in the city, etc).

OK this is really long, I can go on forever and ever on this topic. But I can say one thing to summarize my thoughts: In HS I was jealous of the girls that had the money and everything they could possible want. But looking at them now and comparing to where I am in life and where they are. Boy am I glad my parents cared enough to give me what I needed and make me earn what I wanted.

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

I don't agree. My 21 y/o DD has a great FT job, works her azz off and goes to college FT at night. I don't believe you can lump an assumption all in one age group. There are lots of extenuating circumstances that make up what a person is going to be like. My 18 y/o is in college FT and is an asst. manager PT at a chain store.

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

I have to disagree- my sister is 23 and living on her own in maryland- paying her way thru John Hopkins grad school and working full time teaching autistic childern- that are so serve she needs 3 aids for the 6 kids she has

all of her friends are also doing great and have jobs and apartments

so I don't see that all - she will be 24 in 3 weeks

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Like Lauren said, there are exceptions to the rule.

Kudos to the younger generation that are successful and self-sufficient!!

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Before becoming ill I worked in a college. We started commenting on this about 2 years ago and I know firsthand that for a lot of young people it was true. Even in the college level, Mommy or Daddy would call the college to try and get grade changes on their kids paper or would call and argue with anyone they could really.
Granted, not all were like this but A LOT were.

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Posted by leighla

Posted by Phyl

I don't agree. My 21 y/o DD has a great FT job, works her azz off and goes to college FT at night. I don't believe you can lump an assumption all in one age group. There are lots of extenuating circumstances that make up what a person is going to be like. My 18 y/o is in college FT and is an asst. manager PT at a chain store.

That's because you are a kickass mom!!
------------------------------------------------------
You are so sweet!


blush: You are going to be a kick azz Mom too!

Message edited 4/26/2007 3:25:42 AM.

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

While I think this is true for a large number of people, it is not true for all.
I taught my girls to be independent. They needed to be able to handle things on their own. You never know what the future holds and their father and I, certainly, weren't going to be around forever. My oldest is a full-time worker, full-time mother and full-time wife. She took a little more prodding to get her going because she was very shy. I would make her do things even though she felt uncomfortable doing them. Now, she is an independent person who can stand on her own two feet.

My youngest holds down a full-time job and goes to college full-time. She schedules her own appointments and handles her own finances (which she does very well with). She can hold her own at any job interview and whatever jobs she had, she has gotten on her own. I'm very proud of both my girls. They've become strong, independent women. I still worry about them, but, that comes with the "mom" territory. For those children who still have to depend on mom and dad for even the simplest of things, I feel sorry for them. Their parents have created emotional cripples and they will be the ones to suffer the consequences of their parents' actions, or lack thereof.

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

I definitely see this, but it does not apply to everyone. I am in a class on Saturdays with a 24 y/o. Adn while I wouldn't say she is spoiled, I jsut don't think she has any idea what goes on in the world around her. Kind of sad. She has a job and her own car, but lives at home.

I think most of the younger generation get bored too easily and move jobs too much. Like they don't get the promotion after 3 weeks and they are ready to quit. But there are others that just keep plugging away and make things better for themselves.

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Anyone remember Bucky Covington from AI last year? He has this song out on the radio - it fits perfectly.

A Different World - Bucky Covington

We were born to mothers who smoked and drank
Our cribs were covered in lead based paint
No child proof lids, no seat belts in cars
Rode bikes with no helmets and still here we are, still here we are
We got daddy's belt when we misbehaved
Had three TV channels you got up to change
No video games and no satellite
All we had were friends and they were outside, playin' outside

It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world

School always started the same every day
The pledge of allegiance then someone would pray
Not every kid made the team when they tried
We got disappointed and that was all right, we turned out all right

It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world

No bottled water, we drank from a garden hose
And every Sunday, all the stores were closed

It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world

It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world

It was a different world

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

I agree that my generation is the "helpless generation." At my old job, mothers would come in and say "My son doesn't want to come in and look for a job, can you give me an application." Um, no. And it was always a MOTHER coming in for her SON. I know so many people that get their education, cars, weddings AND first homes paid for. They receive all of these gifts and never learn the responsibility that should come with "growing up."

I have to admit, I am 24 and the baby of the family - so I am spoiled in certain ways. My mom will buy me a shirt that she thinks is cute - or pick up a pair of shoes that I can't afford at the moment. But, I don't consider myself part of this "helpless" generation.

I think part of it has to do with the fact that my parents are from Italy. My parents NEVER knew what homework I had or what tests I had to take. Every day when I got home, I studied and did my homework. I didn't get rewarded for doing my work, because as my dad says all the time " so what, that is what you are supposed to do." Praising a kid for doing work, to my dad, was like clapping every time he went off to work to earn money!

I got my first job at 14. I bought my first car at 16 ( which I am still driving ). I earned a scholarship to college but paid my way through graduate school. I am also paying for my own wedding.

On the other hand, my parents paid for my brother's entire education ( even letting him turn down a full scholarship so he could go away to school). Paid for him to LIVE at college, off campus. AND gave him spending money so he never had to work a day in college. This is why my parents are in extreme debt and had to take out another mortgage on their home. My brother is 35 years old and they supported him until he was about 27!

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Its okay to have your parents support and praise for things but certainly parents attending job fairs and handing out your resume is taking it too far. I never heard of this. Weird.

Re: So what do you think of the "Helpless" Generation?

Posted by kerrycec03

Posted by lorich

Posted by Ophelia

I agree with this 10000%. and I saw this coming from 10 miles away.

there is something about "tough love" at times that just prepares you better for life.

Amen!

Ditto!