repost from bereavement... what do you all think?

My best friends grand father passed and it is time for the services. I am not sure if I should go to all four services and then the burial or what? I am planning on two and possibly the burial on Tuesday if I can get out of work early.

My dilemma is I am not sure if that is being a bad friend or something. I was the second person she called to tell (her first was my cousin- her boyfriend that she lives with).

Any opinions would be appreciated

Re: repost from bereavement... what do you all think?

When my grandfather died, my best friend (at the time) came to the wake and that was it. We were younger (17) but that was sufficient.

When her grandmother died, I did the same.

I think just going to the wake is ok. Ask her if she needs you for moral support and if she does, plan on being there for her.

Re: repost from bereavement... what do you all think?

I really don't think you are required to stay for all 4 services. Usually only family members stay for the services and the funeral.

Re: repost from bereavement... what do you all think?

When my father passed away, it was hard for people to come to the funeral. In the Jewish faith, we bury the deceased very quickly. People came to shiva which was for 7 days after at my mother's home. Any gesture of sympathy is always appreciated. I know I did not expect people to change their schedules to accommodate us. Do what you can.

Re: repost from bereavement... what do you all think?

I was in a similar predicament two weeks ago. I couldn't go to the funeral (and to be honest, I'm glad I couldn't go b/c I lost someone 3 months ago and just didn't want to deal wtih my emotions then). It was fine. I showed up to the wake, paid my respects, sent out cards, called to see how they were doing, etc. Don't stress yourself out over it...you should never feel forced to go to a funeral

Re: repost from bereavement... what do you all think?

Re: repost from bereavement... what do you all think?

My best friends grandfather passed away a few months ago, and I went to both of the night wakes. I didn't go to the burial, and to be honest, I don't think I would be ablt to handle that anyway.

If she's your best friend, just ask her if she would like for you to be at the burial. Maybe she needs your support, but usually it's more of close family that goes to that.

Like I said before, I think that the 2 night wakes are ok.

Re: repost from bereavement... what do you all think?

as long as you go to the wake once to make your respects I think that is fine.
When my grandfather died, I didnt expect any of my friends to come to all the wake services and funeral. I was happy to just see them once.

Re: repost from bereavement... what do you all think?

I think its fine.....

When my grandfather and aunt died my best friend came to nothing and didn't even so much as give me a sympathy card

Re: repost from bereavement... what do you all think?

Thank you all for your responses. I really appreciate them!

Re: repost from bereavement... what do you all think?

I think one night of the wake is definitely appreciated by your friend. If you felt like she needed the extra support, you could go to the funeral also but I don't think it's expected.

Re: repost from bereavement... what do you all think?

i'm with the majority here, whatever you can make it to, you should go. if that means one wake and the funeral then so be it. you are a good friend by being there.