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Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

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nrthshgrl
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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.


Posted by sameinitials

I really see nothing wrong with this, except for the fact that her name is attached to it. If it were anonymous, I'd be all for it.

I think she is really brave to admit this, and I'd guess that a lot of women feel the same way but are afraid to say it.



I agree.

Most people I know who had twins (my parents included) first had the thought "Holy sh1t, what did we do?" Followed by being worried about how they'll handle everything from finances to baby logistics.

Even if she only wanted 1 & transferred 1 embroyo, she could have wound up with twins anyway. Embryos split. My friend was freaking out when she did IVF & wound up pregnant with triplets. They put back 2 embryos & 1 split (#1 &2 had a very strong heartbeat. #3 they thought wouldn't make it or was the weaker one.) The day she was going into talk about selective reduction, she only had #3 left.

Posted 6/28/13 2:54 PM
 
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Paramount
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Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

I also wonder why selective reduction was not an option once they realized they had twins *IF* they DIDNT want twins.

Posted 6/28/13 3:09 PM
 

casey31
Mommy of 3!

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Mommy to two boys and a girl

Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

I get that she is scared and overwhelmed. I get that she had PPD- I had it too.

She needs to try to think differently about her twins. MANY families are struggling to provid Disney trips. MANY mothers worry that they don't have the time/energy to give all their children the attention they need. MANY marriages struggle with childrearing demands. ITS CALLED LIFE!!

She needs to start counting her blessings and be grateful for the two new lives.

When I feel overwhelmed, sad, etc. I stop and thank G-d that I have my three children- that I am not watching them suffer from any horrible illnesses- that I didn't struggle with infertility, etc. I am thankful for my husband and our life together. Life isn't perfect, we aren't perfect parents but I think we are very lucky for what we have.

I think this couple would benefit from changing their perspective.

ETA: also, her pregnancy fatigue that she complains about is TEMPORARY. the colic she worries about is TEMPORARY- she needs to get some perspective!

Message edited 6/28/2013 3:30:20 PM.

Posted 6/28/13 3:28 PM
 

lipglossjunky73
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<3

Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

This is what happens when the 2 whiniest, most annoying unappreciative idiots get together and have a family they don't want. And then decide to broadcast that to the world.

Posted 6/28/13 3:47 PM
 

2BadSoSad
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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

cough cough **bullshitt** cough.

Message edited 6/28/2013 4:06:15 PM.

Posted 6/28/13 4:05 PM
 

AugustMom
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Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

I hope both twins have colic...BAD!! She deserves it, she's a ****** person

Posted 6/28/13 4:16 PM
 

AugustMom
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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

Posted by lipglossjunky73

This is what happens when the 2 whiniest, most annoying unappreciative idiots get together and have a family they don't want. And then decide to broadcast that to the world.



Agreed!!

Posted 6/28/13 4:17 PM
 

lynnd126
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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

She's an asshole.

Posted 6/28/13 5:19 PM
 

MissJones
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and grateful!

Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

First of all, we are the only species that CHOOSES pregnancy. We are the only species that can also choose NOT to get pregnant. Going the IVF route...you are making a conscious decision to have a child. Tough $h!t...you got twins. You were told there was a chance. Idiots!!!

Posted 6/28/13 5:22 PM
 

seaside
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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

"Why would the universe, God, karma, whatever, whomever think it was a good idea to bring forth twins in our lives? When would anything go my way? Before I had children, it seems like it used to. "

For a woman to write this overwrought, self indulgent crap to a broad audience when she has a job, a healthy husband, and three healthy kids in nothing short of obtuse, moronic, and disgusting.
Chat Icon

Posted 6/28/13 5:55 PM
 

lipglossjunky73
My Everything!

Member since 11/05

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<3

Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

I'm sorry - I know some people can understand the fears of being pregnant, finding out you are having twins.... But really, most people say (and feel) that despite the fears, they are joyful and ready to meet the challenges of becoming a parent no matter what.

It's one thing when you unexpectedly discover you are pregnant, voice your fears, doubt your abilities, and then step up to the plate to be the GROWNUP you are supposed to be and take on the sacrifice of becoming a parent.

It's a whole other animal when you purposefully pursue a family medically. What were they expecting the outcome to be?

Both articles clearly express how difficult they found it with kid #1. I can't help but think they wanted a sibling to maybe occupy him because giving him the attention he needed was too much for these self centered selfish people.

People who are parents know it is not always a joy ride. Newsflash - pregnancy usually sucks. Giving birth is a horror show. Infants don't fukking sleep ever. They get sick and cry and are soul sucking little creatures who infringe on your personal time, your relationship with your spouse, your finances, your hobbies... everything that made you YOU changes when you bring a dependent little person into your life.

They get older and it gets harder. It's mommy this and daddy that. you can't shit, shower, or shave without that knock on the door wanting a snack, a glass of milk, whatever.

But... you made the decision to be that person to care for that little soul sucking creature who didn't personally choose to come into your life. And when you start reproducing, life isn't about you anymore. You really don't matter and no one cares anymore about your whiny little problems because there is someone even whinier than you who is whiny because he or she is THREE and needs to be attended to.

So yeah - we can ***** and moan, and we earn that right as a parent. But you ***** and moan for a second. You fantasize for an hour about life when you were single and you slept until 2PM on a sunday and then went to the gym and sat and drank coffee with a book for the rest of the day. You don't spend every waking hour lamenting the fact that you have children and it sucks and they are difficult and it is difficult and waaahhhh poor me. I mean- these fucktards wrote not one but TWO articles about it. Seriously - it's enough. ENOUGH. There are people who would happily trade and enjoy those colicky nights and arms full of babies because they have been screwed by life and not able to have one.

I have mourned the fact that my child will not have a sibling and I finally can say that without crying. If I discovered I was pregnant with twins, I would freak out but I would be so happy. I would ***** and moan about not sleeping and having no money and whatever.... But for a moment and then just put on my big girl panties and recognize that these are little lives that need someone positive and 100% on board and HAPPY that they are in their lives. Because kids know right away when you see them as a burden. There's a reason their other kid seems as whiny as they are.

So while people are saying what's the big deal - we all feel that way - YES, We feel that way sometimes. But not SO much that it consumes us and we take time away from parenting to write about it and put our names out there for the whole world to see how we feel about children we PURPOSEFULLY gave birth to.

Seriously - I have had it with them. I think they really, really, REALLY suck.

Posted 6/28/13 6:03 PM
 

meloyellow
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Member since 3/13

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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

this part annoys me the most:

we were hit with severe colic during his first year that wreaked havoc on our lives. We've pretty much had struggles with sleep and behavior ever since.

WTF DID YOU EXPECT???? did you think your tiny baby was going to shoot out of your vagina and sleep full nights, and sit there with their hands and legs crossed and ask to pass the salt? WTF It's called being a GD parent! It's called life. They sound so naive and bratty.

Message edited 6/28/2013 6:06:52 PM.

Posted 6/28/13 6:06 PM
 

Disneygirl
Disney cruise bound!

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D

Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

I really have to Chat Icon at these two. Yes I'm sure this article is very helpful to parents who have felt very similar emotions but this wasn't something that accidently happened to them, it was WELL thought out and meticulously planned. Dude you were playing Russian roulette and you loaded the gun with not one but two bullets and you're in shock that you got shot?!!
Too bad they didn't spend the $$ they spent on fertility treatments towards therapy cause clearly they need it!Chat Icon
God bless those babies! Chat Icon

Message edited 6/28/2013 6:23:22 PM.

Posted 6/28/13 6:22 PM
 

lipglossjunky73
My Everything!

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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

Very well said....

Posted 6/28/13 6:30 PM
 

beachgirl
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sara

Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

I think they both sound like selfish self absorbed people. I read it like they wanted to give their son a sibling but kind of resent it at the same time. They sound like they were disgruntled first time parents...colic? oh the horrors!!

Not only have they put it out there for their poor twins to read in years to come about how they really felt about their entry into the world but they have also managed to make their son guilty for them giving him a sibling (s)...no more trips to disney, a bigger car..a bigger house...the pains and tribulations of all this must be staggering to a narcissistic pair of assholes.

I cannot tolerate them and am glad I dont know them.

Message edited 6/28/2013 6:33:13 PM.

Posted 6/28/13 6:32 PM
 

beanie571
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Jean

Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

2 assholes who deserve each other. God bless those poor children.

Posted 6/28/13 7:41 PM
 

Teachergal
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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

Posted by sameinitials

I really see nothing wrong with this, except for the fact that her name is attached to it. If it were anonymous, I'd be all for it.

I think she is really brave to admit this, and I'd guess that a lot of women feel the same way but are afraid to say it.



I completely agree.

Posted 6/28/13 7:48 PM
 

Mrs213
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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

Posted by HomeIsWithU

I hope when these children grow up they don't ever stumble upon these articles. What a horrible horrible thing to know that your own parents didn't want you and for 9 months dreaded the day that you would be born.





This is what I feel most bad about. These people are jerks...

Posted 6/28/13 9:11 PM
 

ttcc
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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

To me it sounds like up until having children this couple has never really had too many tough times. Now it seems that nothing is going as planned and times are tough so they can't deal.

I hope that this all the anxiety talking and they look back and feel stupid for being so dramatic about it. I think everyone who is pregnant has had the money, space, no me time worries. These ppl just need to put it in perspective.

I

Posted 6/28/13 9:27 PM
 

thisisme
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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

This makes me think of what I tell my kids, "there are some things that are fine to think in your head, but not ok to say out loud."
And I'm a cheerleader for speaking out about taboo subjects. This is just something no one needs to know besides you and your therapist. Life hands us the unexpected, or in this case the slightly expected!, and it's what you make of it that counts. Clearly she's depressed, so I don't want to be too harsh, but she needs to buck up, pull on her big girl panties and deal.

Posted 6/28/13 9:35 PM
 

gina409
TWINS!

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g

Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

Bull shit I call to the "oh most are shocked when it's twins"...u did IVF,u put two back They tell u on the table before they transfer. They ask you ARE YOU OK WITH TWINS

And after my first appt we had one second appt there was two. I was overjoyed. If I did not want twins I would have not put back 2 simple as that

She should thank her flicking lucky stars that she can do IVF bc financially it is not a option for some
She should thank her flicking lucky stars that she had embryos to put back bc some don't

She should thank her flicking lucky stars that IVF worked bc for some the negative is a knife in the heart

She should thank her flicking lucky stars that bring tired and low iron and etc is her only issue. People on bed rest. And pre term labor etc would love to be u


I carried twins to 38 weeks. I threw up every day even on the or table. I was in the hospital with a ruptured placenta. Many other things I could say. But if would not compare to the gratitude I felt I knew that as happy I was there is still someone fighting the fight. So i appreciated my pregnancy bc I know not all can do it

Selfish horrible ungrateful people. No idea how lucky they are

Message edited 6/28/2013 9:54:30 PM.

Posted 6/28/13 9:52 PM
 

MrsProfessor
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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

Posted by MarisaK

Posted by saraH

She goes out of her way to say the baby was to be a sibling for their son. She never once says she wanted another child.

I can't imagine living my life like that. These people need help. They are going to resent those poor children for their whole lives.



her reason for wanting another child was to give her son a sibling - I don't understand why that's terrible?
is that not a good enough reason? What IS a good enough reason? "just b/c I want one?" - I can tell you that I love BOTH of my boys and thank god for them every single day - I can also tell you that my life was significantly 'easier' with just one child - that's just a simple fact. ONE person to take care of and raise is very different from two or three -

I have friends who say they feel terrible they're not giving their son a sibling - she says it she feels horrible every single day and worries that she's making a horribly selfish decision - but she just can't handle another child. - No one tells her she's a disgusting human being b/c she chooses not to have more children.

So, THIS woman decided that instead she WOULD give her son a sibling b/c she felt it was important for him -

I'm not following why this is a bad thing -



I have only one child- and IMO having another JUST to give your child a sibling leads to writing articles like this couples'. Chat Icon Chat Icon I decided long ago that I would have another child for ME- not for my DD. Wanting to give your child a sibling is a fine reason- but it shouldn't be the only one. And while no one's called me selfish for choosing to have just one, I have gotten comments that were more rude than supportive. No matter what your choice, people will judge and feel they have the right to comment on your life.

Posted 6/28/13 11:13 PM
 

Kath14
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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

A very dear friend of mine has exhausted all options
aside from surrogacy or adoption and is currently processing/mourning the fact that she and her husband will not become parents; she was very nervous about the prospect of twins while still undergoing various processes. Never, in my wildest nightmares could I imagine her, or anyone else I know, ESPECIALLY someone who has already had a child! say such awful, mean, cold hearted things. You know what? If pregnancy and infancy were so damn awful, so life altering in such a negative way, Don't have any more kids!!! Not hard, selfish people! Colic sucks, sometimes pregnancy sucks, but as PP said, our species can choose whether or not to become pregnant. There is no way I can get behind this garbage, no matter how self-indulgently honest the feelings purport to be. They simply should have stopped after the one son that they ***** about for doing what infants do.

Posted 6/28/13 11:17 PM
 

MrsA1012
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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

These people make me absolutely sick. I feel very sorry for their children.

Posted 6/28/13 11:17 PM
 

MrsA1012
Happy Holidays !

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Re: Remember the article written by the husband who did NOT want twins? The wife speaks now.

Posted by gina409

Bull shit I call to the "oh most are shocked when it's twins"...u did IVF,u put two back They tell u on the table before they transfer. They ask you ARE YOU OK WITH TWINS

And after my first appt we had one second appt there was two. I was overjoyed. If I did not want twins I would have not put back 2 simple as that

She should thank her flicking lucky stars that she can do IVF bc financially it is not a option for some
She should thank her flicking lucky stars that she had embryos to put back bc some don't

She should thank her flicking lucky stars that IVF worked bc for some the negative is a knife in the heart

She should thank her flicking lucky stars that bring tired and low iron and etc is her only issue. People on bed rest. And pre term labor etc would love to be u
I agree with every word you said ! The lack of gratitude makes me sick.

I carried twins to 38 weeks. I threw up every day even on the or table. I was in the hospital with a ruptured placenta. Many other things I could say. But if would not compare to the gratitude I felt I knew that as happy I was there is still someone fighting the fight. So i appreciated my pregnancy bc I know not all can do it

Selfish horrible ungrateful people. No idea how lucky they are

. I agree with every word you said.

Message edited 6/28/2013 11:23:43 PM.

Posted 6/28/13 11:19 PM
 
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