Please, please help me- I am at my wit's end..

Ava.. Oh Ava.

This poor kid is miserable. She is now making us just as miserable. She has been on and off sick since August. Now, the Dr. tells me she is doing some serious teething. She is cutting about 5 teeth right now.

Here is our big problem. She is 16 months old adn the dr wants us to start giving up the bottle. She screams bloody murder for her bottle. So we have been diluting the milk. However, she will wake in the middle of the night and the only thing that can get her back to sleep is about 3-4 oz of milk. The dr. strongs advises me to stop that immediately. I am afraid of her teethign turning black. However, she finishes it pretty fast and throws the bottle and is then out.. It is such a great solution for now. But I am afriad will haunt us down the line.

What do I do? Do we let her CIO??? We have tenants and my DH refuses to let her CIO. He rocks her...

She is with my sister tonight because we are literally dead from exhaustion..

Please help me. Any solutions.
TIA,
Denise

Re: Please, please help me- I am at my wit's end..

no advice just

Re: Please, please help me- I am at my wit's end..

I haven't been there yet, so I hate to give advice on the subject. But since the Dr. is telling you she needs to give the bottle up, it sounds like you really need to try. If your DH is against CIO, I'm not really sure what to say. I hope some BTDT mommies have some advice for you! Good luck.

Re: Please, please help me- I am at my wit's end..

tell your Dr to come over and comfort her if he's so strong on you giving up the bottle asap.
why is he being so strong about that opinion?
My LATEST age for the bottle was 18-20months. Talking and bottles just doesnt mix for me. and binkies 12-14months tops. I dont know where I got those numbers from

but you need to wean her from the bottle when YOU See fit and on your own schedule. have you tried sippy cups yet? there are many sippy cups that resemble bottles, just different cap.

John Anthony was also OBSESSED with his bottle and gave it up cold turkey one day (by 20m). NIcholas was about 2, and by those ages, they have the bottle so few times throughout the day, that it was so easy to just hide it, skip it, incorporate milk into meals, etc.

dont always feel like your Dr should rule your house. They are there to give us medical advice, not parenting advice

Re: Please, please help me- I am at my wit's end..

why are you diluting the milk?
why would her teeth turn black?

Re: Please, please help me- I am at my wit's end..

follow your own instincts, my daughter LOVES her bottle and it's not hurting her in any way and I make sure she brushes her teeth right afterwards befire bed (she is 3 ), but she just loves it so much, and I know she won't be walking down the aisle with it when she get samrried, so I just let her enjoy it. Do what is right for you,a slong as her health is not being compromised who cares .

BTW- bottle rot is from kids fallong asleep with the bottle in their mouth, the milk is high in sugar and if it is not cleaned off of their tetth it can cause problems, but it is pretty rare and must be pretty excessive

Re: Please, please help me- I am at my wit's end..

Thank you all so much. Yes, bottle rot is pretty nasty. But, like I said, I know she finished it immediately, because she throws it.. i hear it hitting the crib. However, she goes right out, so I don't get to brush her teeth after that bottle. But her teeth are brushed before bed, and in the middle of the night, she only gets 3 oz.. She gulps it down and literally goes OUT! It is great. WE are up for like 5 minutes, compared to listening to her cry for 2 hours.

It is not even every night she wakes up. Just when she is sick, mostly. She got a flu shot the other day and it is ever since then,. I think she might be exhibiting mild flu symptoms. She has a runny nose since then. ANyway, back to the topic. Do you think it will rot her teeth becuase she falls right asleep and i don't get to brush them. Also, I did an internet search (I know.. bad me) and it says the bottle at this age can mess up the growth of their adult teeth??

I never heard that one.. Em.. you daughter is 3 and still on the bottle, I am sure her teeth are BEAUTIFUL! :)

Well, you really made me feel so much better about my decision..... She is only 16 months, still my baby... I will try more at 18-20 or even 2 years. Right now I think I am pushing too hard. I remember at 6 months the doctor telling me you have to use the sippy cup... I struggled with her. It was a useless point. She would not take it. I understand now why the dr. wanted me to start it early (look how much trouble I am having now), but when she was ready about 2 months ago, she took it no problem. She saw her friend who is 2 with a sippy cup and that was it.

I think also, she is an only child. I really believe that children with older siblings catch on to things earlier from watching them...

But, anyway, I am rambling. Thank you so much, guys. I can't tell you how much better I feel. Between a great night sleep last night, 8 hours and your wonderful advice... :) I just read to my DH and he smiled! :)

Thank you all so much.
Love you guys,
D
PS ANNA ARE WE EVER HAVING A PLAYDATE??????

Message edited 11/11/2006 9:22:24 AM.

Re: Please, please help me- I am at my wit's end..

Anna, you said the binkie by 12-14 months?? Ava still has hers... Only at night though.. She will really go nuts without that..

I am going to try to knock out the bottle first then the binkie. As, long as she gets rid of it before she starts school.. :)

Also, Ava does not have a bottle all day. Unless she really won't nap on her own and I am desperate for her to nap.. But the majority of the time, no bottle or binkie during the day. Just a nighttime bottle before bed. Then one with a few ounces if she wakes up in the middle of the night and refuses to go back down..

Re: Please, please help me- I am at my wit's end..

I know I will have a HUGE problem when the dr tells us to drop the bottle. DS LOVES the bottle!!! He won't drink milk unless it's in the bottle (he drinks lots of water from the sippy but refuses milk). He never drinks his bottle in bed so I don't have that problem. I agree with the fact that I'm not worried about him going to HS with a bottle in his mouth....if it makes him happy I'm doing it!!

What if you give water instead of milk in the bottle at bedtime? Maybe that will help comfort her while teething.

Message edited 11/11/2006 4:35:14 PM.

Re: Please, please help me- I am at my wit's end..

You poor thing!! I am right there with you!I havent slept in 2 years!lol!

i would let ava keep her bottle for comfort while shes going thru this agonizing teething process....

i posted about this a while back, my son is almost 2 and i still put him to bed w/his bottle,bc i cant take the crying.

i try to make him finish the whole bottle before bed so he goes in with a full stomach,
then make him brush his teeth(a project in itself)
then put him in bed with a warm bottle of water w/a splash of milk. I am so scared for his teeth to rot also, but my DH reminds me
(i dont know how accurate this is but it makes me feel a little better!)
"didnt we all go to bed w/bottles when we were babies & our teeth never turned black?"
back then that was the thing all moms did.
I will let you know how i do it when i finally get him to bed w/o the bottle!
But im sure the whole tentent thing totally s-x!

Re: Please, please help me- I am at my wit's end..

I have to agree with the doctor about trying to break the bottle habit. At night with milk I mean. Im not debating whether to have her give up using a bottle entirely. My kids were off them by a year or so but I really dont see the big deal to have it longer. I just tried and they happened to be OK with it. But with the milk at night, the longer she needs it to go to sleep, the more she will always look for it... its a tough place to be in. Im not even talking about bottle rot, just the need for it as a source of soothing to be able to get herself to sleep. Believe me, my daughter wasnt using the bottle but she would cry out in the night for a milk and many times at 2am I gave it to her. It took an initial round of CIO get her to give it up. And even then, it wasnt perfect, some nights I gave in out of sheer exhaustion. But it was hard but worth it in the end when we finally got her off the nighttime milk. Shes almost 2 1/2 and she still wakes up sometimes looking for it but I try an alternate form of soothing for her, I fluff her pillow, smooth out her hair, fluff the blankets, give her her baby (stuffed lamb)...things that she can also comfort herself with, which is the ultimate goal - finding a way they can get themselves to relax enough to fall asleep. The rocking her to sleep on a regular basis is the same type of thing, something she cant do herself. I didnt have my DH opposing me though so youre in a tough spot even if you wanted to implement it. Sorry...I dont know if Im any help now that I finished typing this - but you and your DH should definitely try to find something you agree to implement if you can, I think that might be the first step. Good luck with it!

Re: Please, please help me- I am at my wit's end..

Since she's been sick, I would say comfort is most important right now. Is there any chance you can give her water instead of milk in the bottle - and only give milk in sippy cups or regular cups? Will she take water in her bottle at night? At least this way you don't have to worry about bottle rot.

From experience I can tell you that the younger you break the bottle & pacifier habit, the easier it is to do. At a year, I would say it's a 4-5 day process. At 2 years old, it's going to be 5+. At 3 years old...it's a nightmare.

Good luck with everything!

Re: Please, please help me- I am at my wit's end..

Thank you all so much. Liz, is it ok if i still give her a nighttime bottle before bed?? i am starting to add more water and less milk every night....