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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
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Karen
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Posted by JenandMikey
Posted by ohbaby08
i just didnt appreciate it being referred to as nonsense by the op. my son has a peanut allergy, i dont know how severe it is, so we take any and all precautions. he goes to a peanut-free pre-k now, but even there parents are allowed to bring in home or store-bought treats for birthdays. i have to provide a replacement snack for him on those days. i never thought i'd have a child with a peanut allergy and, frankly, it scares the sh *t out of me for when he goes to public school. so when i see a parent treating it lightly, i get a little heated.
this is the same for my dd....sending her to a peanut-free school and for the most part they are very on top of everything when it comes to that but like this poster said the parents are allowed to bring in the home/store bought treats for birthdays and im suppossed to provide a replacement but while it upsets me that my child has to be singled out every time there is a birthday by eating something else in front of all the kids eating the same thing i guess i understand that the world cant change for my kid.....it would be better if the school (and i will be voicing this as a possiblity at dd's school) policy was that homemade cupcakes could be brought in but only if they are betty crocker mix and frosting that has no ingredients or may contain on the label that reads egg,nuts or dairy which is possible to find....this would make it easier for allergy parents to feel more comfortable and non-allergy parents to feel like they are still able to bring in homemade cupcakes for their child....dont know if my idea will fall on deaf ears but im going to make the effort to voice my opinion.....but this is definitely something im not looking forward to, having to worry every time there is a birthday celebration at school .....so this is definitely not nonsense but instead its a reality of being a mom of a kid with an anaphylactic allergy 
Honestly, even if they could prove they used the correct mix (the school where my BF works requires the labels to be brought in), I would not be 100% confident that there was not any cross-contamination in someone else's kitchen. Especially someone else who doesn't have a child with allergies, they may not be as vigilant.
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Posted 8/27/12 5:05 PM  |
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Kboogie
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/08 393 total posts
Name:
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
nrthshgrl Re: No more birthday cupcakes This is ludicrous! As the parent of the birthday kid, I think it's MY job to make sure everyone can partake in what I'm bringing in. That means you call the teacher for the class count & what allergy accommodations you make.
yeah well unfortunately some parents don't feel that way at all. Like I said I don't mind because I don't work but I just don't understand why other parents don't think about the other kids in the class. It's not all of the kids but at least 5 kids just brought stuff in and didn't let anyone know they were doing it.
it was crazy..and I'm expecting more this year since there's a lot more kids in her class this year.
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| Posted 8/27/12 5:59 PM |
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MM2004
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Member since 5/05 1854 total posts
Name:
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
DS has a milk allergy and its been hard dealing with food in the classroom. I've sent in a box with safe treats that he can choose from if someone in the class is celebrating a birthday but its still hard for him because this just points out more that "he's the kid with the food allergy".
Not only in the classroom but so many school events have food components that he can't participate in: pizza parties for the class that raises the most money for whatever, fundraisers with food to sell that he can't even eat, and so on.
It's so scary when I get class from school. i always wonder if its "The Call" - the call from the school nurse that he ate something he wasn't supposed to or was bullied into eating something and now he's in an ambulance on the way to the hospital, having a reaction.
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| Posted 8/27/12 9:30 PM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Kboogie
I always brought a "special" cupcake for my dd for every party but it was a lot of work and thankfully I don't work so I was able to run up there at the last minute with a cupcake or cookie because most of the time parents of the bday child would just show up with the cupcakes and not let the school or teacher even know.
This is ludicrous! As the parent of the birthday kid, I think it's MY job to make sure everyone can partake in what I'm bringing in. That means you call the teacher for the class count & what allergy accommodations you make.
I have made cupcakes and sent in labels of every ingredient etc and the mom of the child with the allergy was still not ok with it. I even offered to buy something prepackaged for him and she wouldnt let me.
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| Posted 8/27/12 10:29 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Posted by OneOfEach
I have made cupcakes and sent in labels of every ingredient etc and the mom of the child with the allergy was still not ok with it. I even offered to buy something prepackaged for him and she wouldnt let me.
Don't be insulted, I'm sure the parent sincerely appreciates the effort you went to. Depending on the allergen it's really difficult to properly manage, even when you actively read the labels. Take for example dairy allergies - there are about 30 different ways they can list milk in the ingredient list. It's overwhelming, even if you've been doing it for years.
It doesn't help that US food labeling laws have a ton of loopholes. For example, manufacturers can sell items containing caesein (milk protein) as non-dairy or dairy-free, and they don't have to list milk in bold in the ingredient list or in the "Contains" or "May Contain" list.
There are other loopholes, depending on the size of the company, the size of the manufacturing plant, if they are a US based company or not, the list goes on and on. It's incredibly frustrating.
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| Posted 8/27/12 10:40 PM |
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Our school has the same policy. I was sad at first too, but I'm fine with it now. Last year they let us go in and read a story and/or do a craft with the children. One dad was so cute... he went in with his guitar and sang with them. The kids still feel like it's their special day, don't worry. 
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| Posted 8/28/12 6:45 AM |
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MM2004
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Member since 5/05 1854 total posts
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Posted by OneOfEach
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Kboogie
I always brought a "special" cupcake for my dd for every party but it was a lot of work and thankfully I don't work so I was able to run up there at the last minute with a cupcake or cookie because most of the time parents of the bday child would just show up with the cupcakes and not let the school or teacher even know.
This is ludicrous! As the parent of the birthday kid, I think it's MY job to make sure everyone can partake in what I'm bringing in. That means you call the teacher for the class count & what allergy accommodations you make.
I have made cupcakes and sent in labels of every ingredient etc and the mom of the child with the allergy was still not ok with it. I even offered to buy something prepackaged for him and she wouldnt let me.
That's really nice of you to go out of your way like that. I prefer just to let my son to eat food from home just to be on the safe side. It's less stressful for everyone that way.
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| Posted 8/28/12 1:47 PM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
The district I work in had a no candy/sweets policy. I think it's great. It's for our wellness policy. Any food is curriculum based. Birthdays are celebrated in other ways to make the child feel special. It's been 4-5 years now and the younger kids are now used to their new birthday traditions (i.e. special reader comes into class, special job, etc)
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| Posted 8/28/12 6:09 PM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Kboogie
I always brought a "special" cupcake for my dd for every party but it was a lot of work and thankfully I don't work so I was able to run up there at the last minute with a cupcake or cookie because most of the time parents of the bday child would just show up with the cupcakes and not let the school or teacher even know.
This is ludicrous! As the parent of the birthday kid, I think it's MY job to make sure everyone can partake in what I'm bringing in. That means you call the teacher for the class count & what allergy accommodations you make.
You are in the minority. Many parents send in treats when they feel like it, without notifying the teacher. The teacher is then unable to notify the parent of the kid with the allergy and that kid is left out.
Our school allows you to keep treats in the nurse's freezer, and DS' teacher also had a stash of cookies in case of impromptu parties.
My advice is to make sure your child understands what he/she can't eat. My son had a substitute teacher last year and some parent sent in Dunkin Donuts. The sub didn't know about any allergies and allowed my son to eat the DD. My son is not allergic to DD, and he knows it, which is why he ate the donut. However, the rule for him was that he was not allowed to eat anything sent in by anyone other than me. So it did cause a bit of an uproar. The nurse actually told me that DS needs to "take some responsibility". 
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| Posted 8/28/12 6:24 PM |
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MM2004
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Member since 5/05 1854 total posts
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No more birthday cupcakes
I love the "take some responsibility" crack. I got that comment when we went to talk to the principal a few months before he started kindergarten. I said, he's five years old, he's a bit young to be his own health care advocate. That's what he has parents for, and in lieu of parents, his teachers and other adults in the school.
Some kids may have trouble speaking up, especially when an adult is handing them food and saying its ok to eat. School can expect age-appropriate responsibility but with food allergies on the rise, schools need better policies and training on dealing with food allergies.
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| Posted 8/29/12 2:52 PM |
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JenandMikey
life is good =)
Member since 5/07 4216 total posts
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We're so blessed!
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Posted by MM2004
I love the "take some responsibility" crack. I got that comment when we went to talk to the principal a few months before he started kindergarten. I said, he's five years old, he's a bit young to be his own health care advocate. That's what he has parents for, and in lieu of parents, his teachers and other adults in the school.
Some kids may have trouble speaking up, especially when an adult is handing them food and saying its ok to eat. School can expect age-appropriate responsibility but with food allergies on the rise, schools need better policies and training on dealing with food allergies.
a-freakin-men!.....thats my biggest fear for my dd that has a peanut allergy and is going into pre-k....she knows she has the allergy, knows not to eat it but i know for a fact no matter how many times i practice with her to not eat something from someone else even if they say its good, that her age and her curiosity would definitely make her try it and if someone around her isnt making sure she doesnt take it theres going to be a problem....bottom line it makes no sense to assume that a kid that young will be able to be his/her (as this poster above put it) "own health care advocate"
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| Posted 8/29/12 8:40 PM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
I was annoyed at the comment especially because DS DID take responsibility. He KNOWS he CAN have Dunkin Donuts!!
But really, should a 5 year old be expected to always know what he can't eat? The substitute should have known about the allergy before doling out food. Heads would have rolled had DS had a reaction.
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| Posted 8/29/12 9:57 PM |
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sunshine88
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 112 total posts
Name:
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Kboogie
I always brought a "special" cupcake for my dd for every party but it was a lot of work and thankfully I don't work so I was able to run up there at the last minute with a cupcake or cookie because most of the time parents of the bday child would just show up with the cupcakes and not let the school or teacher even know.
This is ludicrous! As the parent of the birthday kid, I think it's MY job to make sure everyone can partake in what I'm bringing in. That means you call the teacher for the class count & what allergy accommodations you make.
I have to agree -- why would a parent just do that!
On another note.. all teachers should be notified of any allergies in the classroom on the first day of school (or as close as possible..) at that time, if there is any specific allergies.. the parents of the room should be notified through a letter home (not singling out the child, just stating there is a severe peanut allergy or whatever allergy there is) and that for the safety of those children we ask that all snacks be checked and for birthday celebrations the teacher be contacted to confirm that the snack they'll be providing is acceptable for everyone.
I don't think that it's fair a child not get the celebrate their birthday but I also don't think it's fair that one child in the class gets to eat their apple while everyone else chows down on home made cupcakes either. There has to be a happy medium somewhere!
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| Posted 8/29/12 11:33 PM |
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Little-J-Mommy
I'm a Big Brother
Member since 5/06 8041 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
I think I'm the only person left on the planet that can still send in homemade cupcakes. I always ask if there's any allergy issues and I always notify the teacher in advance when I'm going to send something in.
ETA: Come to think of it though, as diligent as I am about communicating with them, I've NEVER been informed in advance of another child having a treat sent in. But I always figure it out as soon as my kid gets off the bus 
Message edited 8/30/2012 12:31:51 AM.
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| Posted 8/30/12 12:07 AM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4430 total posts
Name:
Karen
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No more birthday cupcakes
We are still allowed to bring in home made treats too, but we have not had any allergies in our classrooms. We did have a few kids that the parents did not want them to eat sweets or any homemade food as a personal choice and those kids ate their own snack.
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| Posted 8/30/12 8:34 AM |
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2boys4me
He's coming soon!
Member since 4/10 4260 total posts
Name:
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Posted by Kate
I was annoyed at the comment especially because DS DID take responsibility. He KNOWS he CAN have Dunkin Donuts!!
But really, should a 5 year old be expected to always know what he can't eat? The substitute should have known about the allergy before doling out food. Heads would have rolled had DS had a reaction.
As a former sub...the school doesn't tell you ANYTHING in regards to allergies and whatnot. You literally drive to the school, walk in the front office, the secretary gives you your assignment and that's it. I didn't know anything about allergies, special needs, etc. that's not fair to blame the sub, the principal should be making sure that allergies are other issues are known before the sub enters the classroom.
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| Posted 9/4/12 11:37 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Posted by 2boys4me
As a former sub...the school doesn't tell you ANYTHING in regards to allergies and whatnot. You literally drive to the school, walk in the front office, the secretary gives you your assignment and that's it. I didn't know anything about allergies, special needs, etc. that's not fair to blame the sub, the principal should be making sure that allergies are other issues are known before the sub enters the classroom.
(off-topic but)
Except for my school, where the sub knew my son was on medication for ADD & volunteered it for the whole class.
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| Posted 9/4/12 2:35 PM |
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ohbaby08
Winter is Coming
Member since 10/07 1718 total posts
Name:
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by JenandMikey
Posted by ohbaby08
i just didnt appreciate it being referred to as nonsense by the op. my son has a peanut allergy, i dont know how severe it is, so we take any and all precautions. he goes to a peanut-free pre-k now, but even there parents are allowed to bring in home or store-bought treats for birthdays. i have to provide a replacement snack for him on those days. i never thought i'd have a child with a peanut allergy and, frankly, it scares the sh *t out of me for when he goes to public school. so when i see a parent treating it lightly, i get a little heated.
this is the same for my dd....sending her to a peanut-free school and for the most part they are very on top of everything when it comes to that but like this poster said the parents are allowed to bring in the home/store bought treats for birthdays and im suppossed to provide a replacement but while it upsets me that my child has to be singled out every time there is a birthday by eating something else in front of all the kids eating the same thing i guess i understand that the world cant change for my kid.....it would be better if the school (and i will be voicing this as a possiblity at dd's school) policy was that homemade cupcakes could be brought in but only if they are betty crocker mix and frosting that has no ingredients or may contain on the label that reads egg,nuts or dairy which is possible to find....this would make it easier for allergy parents to feel more comfortable and non-allergy parents to feel like they are still able to bring in homemade cupcakes for their child....dont know if my idea will fall on deaf ears but im going to make the effort to voice my opinion.....but this is definitely something im not looking forward to, having to worry every time there is a birthday celebration at school .....so this is definitely not nonsense but instead its a reality of being a mom of a kid with an anaphylactic allergy
Since OP means original poster & I'm the OP of this thread, I wanted to clarify. I never called the rule "nonsense".
This isn't an allergy issue as I can still send my kid in with whatever she wants to eat & we had to get the nurse to sign off on outside food that was brought in. It's a health initiative. While I get the reasons for it, it doesn't make me any less sad that my daughter won't get that "it's my birthday" feeling with bringing in cupcakes or her number doughnuts as she did this year.
Her brother is off to middle school so he told her it was because the school was waiting until he left to make the rule
Sorry I didn't use LIF chat lingo properly, I thought it meant "other poster"...I was referring to the poster who did call it "nonsense." I figured that was kind of obvious since I quoted her in my original post.
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| Posted 9/4/12 3:46 PM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Posted by 2boys4me
Posted by Kate
I was annoyed at the comment especially because DS DID take responsibility. He KNOWS he CAN have Dunkin Donuts!!
But really, should a 5 year old be expected to always know what he can't eat? The substitute should have known about the allergy before doling out food. Heads would have rolled had DS had a reaction.
As a former sub...the school doesn't tell you ANYTHING in regards to allergies and whatnot. You literally drive to the school, walk in the front office, the secretary gives you your assignment and that's it. I didn't know anything about allergies, special needs, etc. that's not fair to blame the sub, the principal should be making sure that allergies are other issues are known before the sub enters the classroom.
Obviously I meant that the sub should have been told. I didn't expect her to just know about allergies. I wasn't blaming the sub.
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| Posted 9/4/12 4:33 PM |
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adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Same policy here. I can understand the rule knowing so many food allergies out there especially severe cases. I would feel sad for the child being left out watching everyone eat. I always try to put myself in other peoples shoes. My child can survive a day without cupcakes I would much rather them be active with games, crafts songs and dance.
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| Posted 9/4/12 9:44 PM |
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cantbelieveit
Love these kids!
Member since 10/05 4708 total posts
Name:
Tammy
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
That stinks! I love making cupcakes for the class. Dont usually do it for her bday because she asks for munchkins or something but I usually do a seasonal theme once a year.
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| Posted 9/7/12 10:09 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Kboogie
I always brought a "special" cupcake for my dd for every party but it was a lot of work and thankfully I don't work so I was able to run up there at the last minute with a cupcake or cookie because most of the time parents of the bday child would just show up with the cupcakes and not let the school or teacher even know.
This is ludicrous! As the parent of the birthday kid, I think it's MY job to make sure everyone can partake in what I'm bringing in. That means you call the teacher for the class count & what allergy accommodations you make.
I don't think it is nonsense either. I wish they would do it. My DD is allergic to chocolate, strawberry, oranges and milk. Luckily they are minor and she can have some limited items that milk is baked into only. I had to provide my DD yesterday with 20 cupcakes for the year so she could participate. She is in a nut free class. They make sure things are nut free but NOT chocolate, etc other allergy free. So she not only couldn't have the cupcakes but she came home with a goody bag full of strawberry and orange starburst, skittles, and chocolate candy that I had to take from her. I didn't have a replacement for her because I didn't know she was getting it.
As far as parents knowing and caring. Last year the whole class knew her allergies. Parents were responsible for snacks for the class. They regularly brought cheeseits and cheese sticks and orange slices in fun shapes, as well as chocolate cupcakes and brownies. I think she could only have 2 of the parties out of 20 last year. All year she was only able to have snack 1 to 2 days out of 4 almost every week.
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| Posted 9/8/12 7:31 AM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: No more birthday cupcakes
Posted by Little-J-Mommy
I think I'm the only person left on the planet that can still send in homemade cupcakes. I always ask if there's any allergy issues and I always notify the teacher in advance when I'm going to send something in.
My district allowed homemade treats last year.. and I haven't gotten any notice this year that we can't have them this year. We did get a notice that one classmate has an allergy to tree nuts and dairy so I won't send in cupcakes this year.. but honestly.. I usually send chocolate dipped strawberries anyway. If I got a notice that a child had strawberry or chocolate allergies, I guess I'd have to adjust and send in something else.
I understand the OP though... I remember how exciting it was to have a birthday with over frosted cupcakes and sprinkles and cans of juice in those little Dixie cups. I would lament the loss of this little childhood rite of passage. But.. the world is changing and I guess the childhood I had and imagined for my own children is just not meant to be. 
I get the rule for allergies.. but having the rule simply for the reason of promoting healthy eating by restricting treats for birthday.. ehhh... Treats are TREATS. I get that school lunches should follow certain guidelines.. those are MEALS. But to say a cupcake on a special occasion is a big ole No-No isn't necessarily the best message. My kids are strong, healthy and in the normal low range for BMI. They know what is healthy and what is not - but they also know that provided they eat healthy MOST of the time, a treat once in a while is not going to be a bad thing. THAT is a message I could get behind. But - again - it's just not a battle I need or want to have. I am responsible for the nutritional lessons my kids learn, not the school.
Message edited 9/8/2012 8:45:24 AM.
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| Posted 9/8/12 8:31 AM |
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