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middle school- missing school?

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NervousNell
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by mommywantsababy

ETA: even as a teacher, I don’t view school to be the end all/be all. I’m a well-rounded person, life experiences add just as much as school does to a person’s development. I think prioritizing family, and experiencing the world, will always be important. Especially if you work to make it impactful.



True but I don't consider Disney to be "experiencing the world". Not even Epcot.

Posted 10/28/19 10:07 PM
 

DiamondGirl
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by mommywantsababy

ETA: even as a teacher, I don’t view school to be the end all/be all. I’m a well-rounded person, life experiences add just as much as school does to a person’s development. I think prioritizing family, and experiencing the world, will always be important. Especially if you work to make it impactful.



True but I don't consider Disney to be "experiencing the world". Not even Epcot.



lmao

Posted 10/29/19 9:13 AM
 

jamnmore
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by aliwnec10

Posted by MK2010x2

Posted by NYCGirl80

Personally, I think this also sets the wrong tone in how he should prioritize responsibilities. Children learn from their parents and he's going to see that you don't value education as highly as free time for vacations. School is first and foremost important behind vacations, especially 2-3 in a year. I understand that it's more expensive to travel during breaks, but then maybe you can do smaller vacations, closer to home during summer rather than flying to Aruba, taking a cruise, and going to Disney - all of which are expensive vacations.



I totally agree with this. I would personally worry, as my kid gets older and I really want him/her to work hard - how would it impact their thinking if the message they got from me was that vacations are more important than school. (I think the exception in this thread was the person who went to China for adoption - that is a totally different situation and I think totally justified.



Listen, i understand what you're all saying. School is important to us. Very.

But so is life. I am 38 and both my parents died years ago. Life is short. So do i think school is everything??? No i don't.

Again i'm not saying this is the norm for us. We usually take 1 vacation a year. Sometimes life happens. Sometimes things come up out of the norm.

That doesn't mean i'm sending my child a message that school isn't important.



I mean no disrespect but if you have your mind made up and you do not want to hear anyone's opinion stating that it is too much time from school, then why did you post this question? The vast majority has said it is too much time and you continue to come back and state more "reasons" why it is ok. To me, your post comes off a little "braggy" that we are going to take 3 vacations this year. If you are looking for someone's permission that you take your kids out of school for 15 days for vacations, I do not think you will find it here. A school year is 180 days, there are 365 days in a year. I am sure that you can find vacation time somewhere in the other 185 days of the year.

Posted 10/29/19 9:19 AM
 

DiamondGirl
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middle school- missing school?

I also wanted to add that the Fall trip can be done in the summer, it may be a little bit more but not as much as Feb or April break. I get it, it sucks to have to pay more but taking your kids out of school for a week DOES send a message, what if they get sick a lot this school year? then what? I also would never expect or ask a teacher to have to put together work for them, my son's teacher last yr told us at the meet the teacher "if you take off for vacation do not ask me for work" lol

Posted 10/29/19 9:29 AM
 

aliwnec10
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by jamnmore

Posted by aliwnec10

Posted by MK2010x2

Posted by NYCGirl80

Personally, I think this also sets the wrong tone in how he should prioritize responsibilities. Children learn from their parents and he's going to see that you don't value education as highly as free time for vacations. School is first and foremost important behind vacations, especially 2-3 in a year. I understand that it's more expensive to travel during breaks, but then maybe you can do smaller vacations, closer to home during summer rather than flying to Aruba, taking a cruise, and going to Disney - all of which are expensive vacations.



I totally agree with this. I would personally worry, as my kid gets older and I really want him/her to work hard - how would it impact their thinking if the message they got from me was that vacations are more important than school. (I think the exception in this thread was the person who went to China for adoption - that is a totally different situation and I think totally justified.



Listen, i understand what you're all saying. School is important to us. Very.

But so is life. I am 38 and both my parents died years ago. Life is short. So do i think school is everything??? No i don't.

Again i'm not saying this is the norm for us. We usually take 1 vacation a year. Sometimes life happens. Sometimes things come up out of the norm.

That doesn't mean i'm sending my child a message that school isn't important.



I mean no disrespect but if you have your mind made up and you do not want to hear anyone's opinion stating that it is too much time from school, then why did you post this question? The vast majority has said it is too much time and you continue to come back and state more "reasons" why it is ok. To me, your post comes off a little "braggy" that we are going to take 3 vacations this year. If you are looking for someone's permission that you take your kids out of school for 15 days for vacations, I do not think you will find it here. A school year is 180 days, there are 365 days in a year. I am sure that you can find vacation time somewhere in the other 185 days of the year.



We honestly don’t have our minds made up. Before this thread, we were leaning towards going. Now because of this thread, I am leaning towards not going. But do I feel the need to tell people this isn’t the norm because many of you are responding as if we do this all the time? Yes I do. Some of you have been very judgmental. Some of you have not read the thread and are responding without reading all the information. Many have said to cancel the trips or move them to school breaks. I am simply explaining that that isn’t an option for the 2 trips. I appreciate everyone’s perspective and responses. I should be allowed to explain or respond to certain people's suggestions, no?

Braggy? That's absurd. I asked how many days of school your middle child has missed and wwyd if you were in my shoes. There was nothing braggy about my post. It was an honest question looking for feedback.

Posted 10/29/19 10:00 AM
 

lululu
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Re: middle school- missing school?

No, you should not have him or your other children miss an additional 3 days of school when you already have 12 planned absences for other vacations. It might be "fun" but I think you are sending the wrong message that it's okay to skip school whenever something "fun" comes up. School is a responsibility and you are really doing him a disservice by downplaying this responsibility. And I also have a very bright 6th grade boy so I understand it's easy to say it won't matter because he can easily catch up, but it's not only about getting the work done, but about the responsibility of getting up and going to school.

Posted 10/29/19 10:14 AM
 

Straightarrow
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by mommywantsababy

ETA: even as a teacher, I don’t view school to be the end all/be all. I’m a well-rounded person, life experiences add just as much as school does to a person’s development. I think prioritizing family, and experiencing the world, will always be important. Especially if you work to make it impactful.



True but I don't consider Disney to be "experiencing the world". Not even Epcot.



Exactly.

OP- Even an fall vacation isn't really appropriate if he's missing school. Summer or a break is probably a better idea.

ETA: I mean in the future

Message edited 10/29/2019 10:38:48 AM.

Posted 10/29/19 10:27 AM
 

NYCGirl80
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by aliwnec10


We honestly don’t have our minds made up. Before this thread, we were leaning towards going. Now because of this thread, I am leaning towards not going. But do I feel the need to tell people this isn’t the norm because many of you are responding as if we do this all the time? Yes I do. Some of you have been very judgmental. Some of you have not read the thread and are responding without reading all the information. Many have said to cancel the trips or move them to school breaks. I am simply explaining that that isn’t an option for the 2 trips. I appreciate everyone’s perspective and responses. I should be allowed to explain or respond to certain people's suggestions, no?

Braggy? That's absurd. I asked how many days of school your middle child has missed and wwyd if you were in my shoes. There was nothing braggy about my post. It was an honest question looking for feedback.



I have read every post in this tread and I am not trying to be judgmental. I'm just providing the reasons I would not take time off of school for a vacation and what I would do, since you asked.

The Aruba trip I would not have done during the school year to begin with, but since it's already scheduled, when your family started planning a cruise for your aunt's bday, I would have said, "We would love to go! Let's schedule it during a school break since my kids can't miss school." You said her bday is the first week in February, so it's only pushing it back 2 weeks to winter break. I'm sure your 80-year-old aunt would appreciate a cruise no matter whether on her actual bday or a few days later.

And the Disney trip I would say, "We would love to go! Let's plan it for the summer or April break. If you can't change the date, then we'll have to skip it, but have a great trip! Let's try to plan something all together in the future." It sounds like inviting your family was an afterthought anyway. In which case, I would definitely not prioritize it over school.

Message edited 10/29/2019 10:36:05 AM.

Posted 10/29/19 10:35 AM
 

lululu
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by Straightarrow

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by mommywantsababy

ETA: even as a teacher, I don’t view school to be the end all/be all. I’m a well-rounded person, life experiences add just as much as school does to a person’s development. I think prioritizing family, and experiencing the world, will always be important. Especially if you work to make it impactful.



True but I don't consider Disney to be "experiencing the world". Not even Epcot.



Exactly.

OP- Even an fall vacation isn't really appropriate if he's missing school. Summer or a break is probably a better idea.



Personally I also would not plan a fall vacation every year either, however, if it is the only way to take a family vacation every year I could see making an exception. I would try to limit the number of absences though, by planning it around the Jewish holidays or a three day weekend, of which there are plenty in the fall.

Posted 10/29/19 10:36 AM
 

lululu
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by NYCGirl80

Posted by aliwnec10


We honestly don’t have our minds made up. Before this thread, we were leaning towards going. Now because of this thread, I am leaning towards not going. But do I feel the need to tell people this isn’t the norm because many of you are responding as if we do this all the time? Yes I do. Some of you have been very judgmental. Some of you have not read the thread and are responding without reading all the information. Many have said to cancel the trips or move them to school breaks. I am simply explaining that that isn’t an option for the 2 trips. I appreciate everyone’s perspective and responses. I should be allowed to explain or respond to certain people's suggestions, no?

Braggy? That's absurd. I asked how many days of school your middle child has missed and wwyd if you were in my shoes. There was nothing braggy about my post. It was an honest question looking for feedback.



I have read every post in this tread and I am not trying to be judgmental. I'm just providing the reasons I would not take time off of school for a vacation and what I would do, since you asked.

The Aruba trip I would not have done during the school year to begin with, but since it's already scheduled, when your family started planning a cruise for your aunt's bday, I would have said, "We would love to go! Let's schedule it during a school break since my kids can't miss school." You said her bday is the first week in February, so it's only pushing it back 2 weeks to winter break. I'm sure your 80-year-old aunt would appreciate a cruise no matter whether on her actual bday or a few days later.

And the Disney trip I would say, "We would love to go! Let's plan it for the summer or April break. If you can't change the date, then we'll have to skip it, but have a great trip! Let's try to plan something all together in the future." It sounds like inviting your family was an afterthought anyway. In which case, I would definitely not prioritize it over school.




The only problem with this is vacations are about quadruple the cost over the school holidays. It would not be fair to all of the others who want to participate in the trip to ask them to spend that much more money. I do a lot of travel planning and because I am such a stickler for not missing school, we are really paying the price. Same with the Disney trip. However since that one is not planned and paid for it wouldn't even be a consideration for me, it would have been a hard no the second it was brought up.

Posted 10/29/19 10:39 AM
 

Straightarrow
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by lululu

Posted by Straightarrow

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by mommywantsababy

ETA: even as a teacher, I don’t view school to be the end all/be all. I’m a well-rounded person, life experiences add just as much as school does to a person’s development. I think prioritizing family, and experiencing the world, will always be important. Especially if you work to make it impactful.



True but I don't consider Disney to be "experiencing the world". Not even Epcot.



Exactly.

OP- Even an fall vacation isn't really appropriate if he's missing school. Summer or a break is probably a better idea.



Personally I also would not plan a fall vacation every year either, however, if it is the only way to take a family vacation every year I could see making an exception. I would try to limit the number of absences though, by planning it around the Jewish holidays or a three day weekend, of which there are plenty in the fall.



Oh yes that is a good idea for the future too! My son didn't go to a full week of school in October until last week between the Jewish holidays and Columbus Day, lol

Posted 10/29/19 10:42 AM
 

Katareen
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by mommywantsababy

I teach middle school, and have had kids miss way more than what you’re describing. If they’re smart, it’s never an issue. If they’re not, it can be.

I would just double check the ny state laws-at a certain point, they can’t push them forward I believe, whether it’s excused or i excused. I had an issue in high school senior year, and almost had a big issue because I missed too many of one class. Even though it was excused, they have to deny credit (I want to say it’s 36 days?).

ETA: even as a teacher, I don’t view school to be the end all/be all. I’m a well-rounded person, life experiences add just as much as school does to a person’s development. I think prioritizing family, and experiencing the world, will always be important. Especially if you work to make it impactful.



While they would be a great time, I don’t know if I would consider any of these vacations to be “experiencing the world”. A cruise, Disney, and Aruba are about as Americanized as you can get.

Posted 10/29/19 10:58 AM
 

NervousNell
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Member since 11/09

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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by Katareen

Posted by mommywantsababy

I teach middle school, and have had kids miss way more than what you’re describing. If they’re smart, it’s never an issue. If they’re not, it can be.

I would just double check the ny state laws-at a certain point, they can’t push them forward I believe, whether it’s excused or i excused. I had an issue in high school senior year, and almost had a big issue because I missed too many of one class. Even though it was excused, they have to deny credit (I want to say it’s 36 days?).

ETA: even as a teacher, I don’t view school to be the end all/be all. I’m a well-rounded person, life experiences add just as much as school does to a person’s development. I think prioritizing family, and experiencing the world, will always be important. Especially if you work to make it impactful.



While they would be a great time, I don’t know if I would consider any of these vacations to be “experiencing the world”. A cruise, Disney, and Aruba are about as Americanized as you can get.




Chat Icon

Posted 10/29/19 11:12 AM
 

StaceyWill
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Re: middle school- missing school?

I really don't like to take DD out of school for anything. DH disagrees with me and wouldn't mind her missing a day here and there for vacay.
But, to answer your question OP - I would skip the Disney trip - or like someone else (I think) said - maybe talk to your SIL to see if she'd want to do it when school was out?

Posted 10/29/19 11:21 AM
 

Sash
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by Katareen

Posted by mommywantsababy

I teach middle school, and have had kids miss way more than what you’re describing. If they’re smart, it’s never an issue. If they’re not, it can be.

I would just double check the ny state laws-at a certain point, they can’t push them forward I believe, whether it’s excused or i excused. I had an issue in high school senior year, and almost had a big issue because I missed too many of one class. Even though it was excused, they have to deny credit (I want to say it’s 36 days?).

ETA: even as a teacher, I don’t view school to be the end all/be all. I’m a well-rounded person, life experiences add just as much as school does to a person’s development. I think prioritizing family, and experiencing the world, will always be important. Especially if you work to make it impactful.



While they would be a great time, I don’t know if I would consider any of these vacations to be “experiencing the world”. A cruise, Disney, and Aruba are about as Americanized as you can get.




You have a better chance at seeing more of the world on a cruise than a destination trip. I plead the 5th on Disney because thats a part of the world I never want to see againChat Icon

Posted 10/29/19 2:37 PM
 

Sash
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by aliwnec10



Braggy? That's absurd. I asked how many days of school your middle child has missed and wwyd if you were in my shoes. There was nothing braggy about my post. It was an honest question looking for feedback.



There was nothing braggy about your post. I think the over all opinion is you should skip Disney. But you know what will work for your family and at the end of the day make the decision you feel is best.

I felt like I had a once in a lifetime opportunity to take my son to India but he had to miss 6 days. He also isnt the best student since he has ADD and focus issues. I was going back and forth and decided to go and I am so happy we did. One of the best trips we did. The majority of people on here would have said don't do it and me several years ago would have also said No to me.

Take the constructive feedback into consideration and do what works for you and you think is best!

Posted 10/29/19 2:43 PM
 

KarenK122
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by Sash

Posted by aliwnec10



Braggy? That's absurd. I asked how many days of school your middle child has missed and wwyd if you were in my shoes. There was nothing braggy about my post. It was an honest question looking for feedback.



There was nothing braggy about your post. I think the over all opinion is you should skip Disney. But you know what will work for your family and at the end of the day make the decision you feel is best.

I felt like I had a once in a lifetime opportunity to take my son to India but he had to miss 6 days. He also isnt the best student since he has ADD and focus issues. I was going back and forth and decided to go and I am so happy we did. One of the best trips we did. The majority of people on here would have said don't do it and me several years ago would have also said No to me.

Take the constructive feedback into consideration and do what works for you and you think is best!



This I think is a great reason to miss school. Going to India is "seeing the world" and experiencing a different culture. It's an experience that may never come around again. I would have no issues taking time off for this.

A cruise, disney or aruba is not enhancing anything except family time which could be done the other 185 days a year school is not in session.

Posted 10/29/19 5:37 PM
 

Sash
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by KarenK122

Posted by Sash

Posted by aliwnec10



Braggy? That's absurd. I asked how many days of school your middle child has missed and wwyd if you were in my shoes. There was nothing braggy about my post. It was an honest question looking for feedback.



There was nothing braggy about your post. I think the over all opinion is you should skip Disney. But you know what will work for your family and at the end of the day make the decision you feel is best.

I felt like I had a once in a lifetime opportunity to take my son to India but he had to miss 6 days. He also isnt the best student since he has ADD and focus issues. I was going back and forth and decided to go and I am so happy we did. One of the best trips we did. The majority of people on here would have said don't do it and me several years ago would have also said No to me.

Take the constructive feedback into consideration and do what works for you and you think is best!



This I think is a great reason to miss school. Going to India is "seeing the world" and experiencing a different culture. It's an experience that may never come around again. I would have no issues taking time off for this.

A cruise, disney or aruba is not enhancing anything except family time which could be done the other 185 days a year school is not in session.



Thank you, I totally get everything you are saying in regards to the exploring the world comment.

The only thing I sort of disagree with is the cruise but understand where you are coming from as Ive been on some cruises where we sat at the beach for most of the itinerary. However, you can see the world on alot of them and thats probably the most affordable way to see it. Example, on our Mediterranean cruise we saw the Vatican, Pompeii and Colosseum to name a few. Even Caribbean cruises, we experienced more of Mexico culture than when we took trip to Cancun. Just another perspective on cruises.

Posted 10/29/19 7:32 PM
 

Dreamer27
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Re: middle school- missing school?

This is so important- a life skill. As a college professor, I’ve seen the results of this down the road. I’ve had students expect me to give them makeup midterms or extra time on projects because they were tacking extra days on to their spring break- one didn’t accept his failing grade and appealed to the provost with plane tickets as “evidence” he was “owed” an exception (didn’t work). I’ve seen students crash and burn on internships because they “didn’t like” the early hours or pass up incredible opportunities to stay late and finish a project that could clinch a job offer, all because something more “fun” was waiting in the wings. These students have a very hard landing when they’re in their first real world jobs and have to work holidays or weekends.

Message edited 10/29/2019 9:52:08 PM.

Posted 10/29/19 9:49 PM
 

MrsS2005
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Re: middle school- missing school?

I personally don’t believe in taking kids out of school for several days or more for a vacation. I understand not wanting to go during a school break because of the expense, but most people can take at least some time off in the summer for vacation.

I think the difference between 6th grade and elementary school is extraordinary. DS is very smart and doing well, but he still had a lot of work to make up just by missing a single day for being sick early in the year. He also has to make up any work he missed weekly in some class due to band lessons. I can’t imagine how much work he’d have to make up by being out for a week at a time. While teachers generally post handouts and lesson plans on google classroom, it’s not the same as being in class and having the material taught to them. This week alone he has 3 or 4 tests. He has also had group projects in multiple classes over the past month. I don’t think it’s fair to anyone to miss that many days.

In your situation, I would’ve skipped the trip to Aruba if you were already planning a cruise in February. Since you’re doing both, there’s no way I’d go to Disney on top of that. I don’t think it sends the right message about responsibilities and school being a priority. He may be doing well when he’s there, but showing up is important too. It can put a strain on him to catch up and on the teachers to provide any work that he missed.

Does the school have some type of policy on the number of days you can miss without an issue? I’d be worried that if gets sick on top of that, you’d really be pushing the limit on number of absences.

Posted 10/30/19 7:29 AM
 

EricaAlt
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Re: middle school- missing school?

I pretty much agree with the majority on here. I don't think the Disney trip is necessary. I know in our school if you miss too many days (even excused) there are consequences. Plus, I am not sure if the teachers are allowed to send the school work out at that age when going away.
Plus, you are not even considering the fact that he may be out some days for being sick. That could be up to 20 days or more all together.

believe me I get vacations and family time are very important. We used to take the boys to Aruba every year with my inlaws up until my oldest was in 3rd grade. Now we take vacations during the school breaks or maybe extend a long weekend here and there so they miss another 1, 2 or 3 days.

I get he's very smart and all, but it's also a lot for the teacher to help one student who has been out.
Good luck with whatever you decide, but look into the rules of missed days. Enjoy Aruba!

Message edited 10/30/2019 7:42:31 AM.

Posted 10/30/19 7:41 AM
 

phoenix913
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V

Re: middle school- missing school?

I don’t have a kid in middle school yet, but I would go. Personally family time, educational or not, is more important to our family. Everyone’s priorities are different and that’s ok. I would be worried about the rules surrounding Unexcused absences though so I’d check into that first.

Some of these responses are ridiculous. Going on a cruise or to Disney isn’t worth it because it’s too “Americanized”? Ugh

Posted 10/30/19 7:59 AM
 

lululu
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by phoenix913

I don’t have a kid in middle school yet, but I would go. Personally family time, educational or not, is more important to our family. Everyone’s priorities are different and that’s ok. I would be worried about the rules surrounding Unexcused absences though so I’d check into that first.

Some of these responses are ridiculous. Going on a cruise or to Disney isn’t worth it because it’s too “Americanized”? Ugh



But why can't you plan family time for when school is out? Going to school and also carving out time for family vacations aren't mutually exclusive. As far as I know the kids are only in school around 180 days a year. That leaves more than HALF the days of the year to plan a vacation.

Posted 10/30/19 9:37 AM
 

NervousNell
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Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by lululu

Posted by phoenix913

I don’t have a kid in middle school yet, but I would go. Personally family time, educational or not, is more important to our family. Everyone’s priorities are different and that’s ok. I would be worried about the rules surrounding Unexcused absences though so I’d check into that first.

Some of these responses are ridiculous. Going on a cruise or to Disney isn’t worth it because it’s too “Americanized”? Ugh



But why can't you plan family time for when school is out? Going to school and also carving out time for family vacations aren't mutually exclusive. As far as I know the kids are only in school around 180 days a year. That leaves more than HALF the days of the year to plan a vacation.




Exactly. We go on plenty of trips and spend PLENTY of quality time together as a family- without pulling her out of school.
Sure it's more money, but that's just one of sacrifices you make when you have kids- the carefree days of travelling when rates are low are gone.

Posted 10/30/19 10:15 AM
 

DiamondGirl
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DiamondMama

Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by Dreamer27

This is so important- a life skill. As a college professor, I’ve seen the results of this down the road. I’ve had students expect me to give them makeup midterms or extra time on projects because they were tacking extra days on to their spring break- one didn’t accept his failing grade and appealed to the provost with plane tickets as “evidence” he was “owed” an exception (didn’t work). I’ve seen students crash and burn on internships because they “didn’t like” the early hours or pass up incredible opportunities to stay late and finish a project that could clinch a job offer, all because something more “fun” was waiting in the wings. These students have a very hard landing when they’re in their first real world jobs and have to work holidays or weekends.



YES to all of this. These are such important lessons for our kids. Like I tell my kids "you may be the prince/princess in this house but in school you are not."

Don't like a teacher= learn to deal you will have bosses you don't like

Don't like a classmate/ they are mean= learn to cope you will have workers you don't like

Wake up tired want to take off= NO you are not SICK you are tired SUCK IT UP

And as an adult *I* have to do all these things. I would love to go away when it is cheap, but I work in a school so I don't. Could I take off and go? Sure, it would look bad though and people would judge my professionalism BUT I COULD do it, I just WOULD NOT.

These are important life lessons.

Posted 10/30/19 10:49 AM
 
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