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middle school- missing school?

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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys

Member since 4/06

11275 total posts

Name:
Ali

middle school- missing school?

What is the most amount of days your child has missed in a school year?

My son is in 6th. He's missing school for 6 days for aruba. He can bring the school work and do on the trip.
Then in feb we're taking my aunt on a cruise for her 80th birthday. So that's 6 days.

My SIL decided to go to Disney at the end of march. She invited her parents, my inlaws. They now invited us. We'd go thur-monday. But that's another 3 days.

WWYD?

It probably will be one of the last family trips we take before the kids are in high school. My nephew is in 7th grade. It would be fun for all 5 kids to be there together. Ages: 12, 11, 8, 6 and 5.

My son is a very good student. 95-102 averages in all of his classes.

Message edited 10/25/2019 9:17:11 PM.

Posted 10/25/19 9:01 PM
 

BargainMama
LIF Adult

Member since 5/09

14551 total posts

Name:

elementary school- missing school?

If 6th is in elementary school still (ours is in middle school at that grade), I wouldn't worry about it at all. Middle school is harder, lots of classes, different teachers, different work. My daughter hardly misses school because of that. Too much to make up

Posted 10/25/19 9:14 PM
 

aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys

Member since 4/06

11275 total posts

Name:
Ali

Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by BargainMama

If 6th is in elementary school still (ours is in middle school at that grade), I wouldn't worry about it at all. Middle school is harder, lots of classes, different teachers, different work. My daughter hardly misses school because of that. Too much to make up



sorry yes- middle school.

Posted 10/25/19 9:17 PM
 

ml110
LIF Adult

Member since 1/06

5396 total posts

Name:

middle school- missing school?

i'm the first one to take my kids out of school for vacations... my youngest missed his first day of kindergarten this year because we were coming back from a trip. BUT they are in K and 3rd. i think middle school is way different. They switch classes, have different teachers, more work and harder. so i think missing 15 days in a year is a lot, and thats not counting if he gets sick at all... but i do see what you're saying about them being special trips. IT sounds like the Aruba one is just your family?? Could you maybe move that one to over the summer or sometime when he won't miss 6 days of school? That way when hes missing school, its for the 2 extra special extended family trips??

Message edited 10/26/2019 9:37:49 AM.

Posted 10/26/19 9:37 AM
 

nycgirl
Angels!

Member since 3/09

7718 total posts

Name:

Re: middle school- missing school?

This may not be what you want to hear.

My kids are in elementary & I wouldn’t do that much missed school voluntarily.

I do take them out sometimes a week... usually for 3 days at a time... but you are talking about 3 weeks of school (15 days) and it’s purely for a fun vacation (not a surgery/illness/emergency).

I’d move at least one of the vacations to a school vacation week.

Posted 10/26/19 11:04 AM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

48599 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: middle school- missing school?

I don't believe in pulling my DD out for vacations. The most she has missed is 1 day and it was when they had off a Monday then a Wednesday so we went away a few days and she missed the Tuesday.
Even in 4th grade, the math is super hard this year, the pace is fast, and I don't want her falling behind because we had to go lay on a beach or ride roller coasters in an amusement park.
To me school trumps vacations
Unless it was some kind of educational trip. Disney is not that.

Message edited 10/26/2019 11:36:49 AM.

Posted 10/26/19 11:35 AM
 

PatsBrat
LIF Adult

Member since 10/06

2272 total posts

Name:
Ms. Brat

Re: middle school- missing school?

From a teachers POV that’s a lot of missed school. I know it might not seem like it, but it’s a TON of work to prep work for a child to take on vacation and/or catch him up after returning. It’s no big deal to ask once, because let’s face it... we all wish we could travel during non school vacations, but to ask 3 times is excessive and inconsiderate.
In middle school bringing not previously taught material isn’t a great idea because it’s way harder for a parent to teach it or the kid to self teach (in math mostly, but in other subjects too.) Your child would need to be caught up after each trip by several teachers, either before or after school, and who has time for that?!

Posted 10/26/19 11:47 AM
 

amac27
LIF Infant

Member since 8/09

363 total posts

Name:
A

Re: middle school- missing school?

Honestly (as both a parent and a former teacher), that is way too much school to miss in 6th grade for vacations. Not only does your child risk falling behind, but it is ridiculous to expect his teachers to prepare work 3 times.

I felt guilty taking my Kindergartner out for a few days in October to see my parents because we had already booked a Disney trip for November. There is absolutely no way that I would let my middle school aged child miss that much school.


Posted 10/26/19 12:14 PM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

18502 total posts

Name:
L

Re: middle school- missing school?

My son missed a week of school for the flu and pneumonia last year in 6th. It was so much he ended up needing a spanish tutor. I would not do this for middle school.

Posted 10/26/19 2:38 PM
 

MyBabyG
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/15

567 total posts

Name:
Lynn

middle school- missing school?

I agree with everyone else. DD is only in 2nd grade and there is no way I’d even pull her out of school for vacations. 15 days seems like a lot. What happens if he gets sick also during the school year and misses a week or so? And to make my child bring work on vacation? Might as well be in school.

Posted 10/26/19 3:57 PM
 

VickiC
Rocking the party

Member since 5/05

4869 total posts

Name:
Vicki

middle school- missing school?

As another perspective, my son missed around 15 days of school in 1st grade and I received a letter from the district telling me that if he missed anymore, they'd have to investigate. I'm paraphrasing, but it was something like that. He was legitimately sick all those days, and the Principal knew it, but the letter is generated. You're talking just 15 days for vacations. If he gets sick on top of that, you're looking at around 20 days out possibly. That's a lot.

Posted 10/26/19 4:05 PM
 

amac27
LIF Infant

Member since 8/09

363 total posts

Name:
A

Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by VickiC

As another perspective, my son missed around 15 days of school in 1st grade and I received a letter from the district telling me that if he missed anymore, they'd have to investigate. I'm paraphrasing, but it was something like that. He was legitimately sick all those days, and the Principal knew it, but the letter is generated. You're talking just 15 days for vacations. If he gets sick on top of that, you're looking at around 20 days out possibly. That's a lot.



My district started a policy last year that if a child misses more then 10 days, then parents would have to withdraw and then re-enroll their child.

Posted 10/26/19 8:43 PM
 

sourpatchkids
LIF Adolescent

Member since 2/12

646 total posts

Name:

Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by amac27

Posted by VickiC

As another perspective, my son missed around 15 days of school in 1st grade and I received a letter from the district telling me that if he missed anymore, they'd have to investigate. I'm paraphrasing, but it was something like that. He was legitimately sick all those days, and the Principal knew it, but the letter is generated. You're talking just 15 days for vacations. If he gets sick on top of that, you're looking at around 20 days out possibly. That's a lot.



My district started a policy last year that if a child misses more then 10 days, then parents would have to withdraw and then re-enroll their child.



Now this makes me angry. Would you rather me send my child to school with the flu than keep him home?? When DS was in K, he was home sick for well over 10 days. He had Coxsackie, strep throat, the flu, and a stomach virus over the course of the school year. Sorry this doesn’t pertain to what OP is asking, but does this policy apply to sick days?

Posted 10/26/19 9:04 PM
 

MichLiz213
Life is Good!

Member since 7/07

7910 total posts

Name:

Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by sourpatchkids

Posted by amac27

Posted by VickiC

As another perspective, my son missed around 15 days of school in 1st grade and I received a letter from the district telling me that if he missed anymore, they'd have to investigate. I'm paraphrasing, but it was something like that. He was legitimately sick all those days, and the Principal knew it, but the letter is generated. You're talking just 15 days for vacations. If he gets sick on top of that, you're looking at around 20 days out possibly. That's a lot.



My district started a policy last year that if a child misses more then 10 days, then parents would have to withdraw and then re-enroll their child.



Now this makes me angry. Would you rather me send my child to school with the flu than keep him home?? When DS was in K, he was home sick for well over 10 days. He had Coxsackie, strep throat, the flu, and a stomach virus over the course of the school year. Sorry this doesn’t pertain to what OP is asking, but does this policy apply to sick days?



In my district (the one I work in, not the one I live in) the days would be consecutive. We often have families going overseas for a month or so at a time. That's the only instance I have seen a student withdrawn and then re-enrolled.

Posted 10/26/19 9:29 PM
 

nycbuslady
LIF Toddler

Member since 9/15

483 total posts

Name:

middle school- missing school?

Yeah, I agree with all the previous posters. My daughter is in 6th grade now and she gets a LOT of homework. Plus, their rule is if a kid misses a test because they're out because of an "unexcused" absence, they can't take a make-up test, so they get a zero. You'd have to call in sick each day.

Posted 10/26/19 9:32 PM
 

MichLiz213
Life is Good!

Member since 7/07

7910 total posts

Name:

middle school- missing school?

I personally wouldn't. My son is younger, but a few teachers in my building have had kids who started middle school this year and they couldn't believe how much more demanding the work was compared to elementary school. That's also asking a lot of the teachers to have work prepared ahead of time (in my school we are not permitted to give work ahead of time for a vacation, not sure if this is a district-wide policy). Also, you can't predict illnesses throughout the school year, which means it would be more than 15 days.

Message edited 10/26/2019 9:37:25 PM.

Posted 10/26/19 9:36 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

48599 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by sourpatchkids

Posted by amac27

Posted by VickiC

As another perspective, my son missed around 15 days of school in 1st grade and I received a letter from the district telling me that if he missed anymore, they'd have to investigate. I'm paraphrasing, but it was something like that. He was legitimately sick all those days, and the Principal knew it, but the letter is generated. You're talking just 15 days for vacations. If he gets sick on top of that, you're looking at around 20 days out possibly. That's a lot.



My district started a policy last year that if a child misses more then 10 days, then parents would have to withdraw and then re-enroll their child.



Now this makes me angry. Would you rather me send my child to school with the flu than keep him home?? When DS was in K, he was home sick for well over 10 days. He had Coxsackie, strep throat, the flu, and a stomach virus over the course of the school year. Sorry this doesn’t pertain to what OP is asking, but does this policy apply to sick days?



I believe sicks are excused absences and this policy probably wouldn't apply to illnesses.
This probably applies to unexcused absences like vacations.

Posted 10/26/19 10:18 PM
 

KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination

Member since 5/05

3371 total posts

Name:
Karen

Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by sourpatchkids

Posted by amac27

Posted by VickiC

As another perspective, my son missed around 15 days of school in 1st grade and I received a letter from the district telling me that if he missed anymore, they'd have to investigate. I'm paraphrasing, but it was something like that. He was legitimately sick all those days, and the Principal knew it, but the letter is generated. You're talking just 15 days for vacations. If he gets sick on top of that, you're looking at around 20 days out possibly. That's a lot.



My district started a policy last year that if a child misses more then 10 days, then parents would have to withdraw and then re-enroll their child.



Now this makes me angry. Would you rather me send my child to school with the flu than keep him home?? When DS was in K, he was home sick for well over 10 days. He had Coxsackie, strep throat, the flu, and a stomach virus over the course of the school year. Sorry this doesn’t pertain to what OP is asking, but does this policy apply to sick days?



I believe sicks are excused absences and this policy probably wouldn't apply to illnesses.
This probably applies to unexcused absences like vacations.



If you were sick and had a doctor's note then it would be excused and not part of the count. Every school has this policy although the amount of days may vary. I took my 5th Grader out of school for almost 3 weeks to adopt her younger sister from China and we had to get special permission from the superintendent or we would have had to withdraw her and then re enroll.

Posted 10/26/19 11:57 PM
 

amac27
LIF Infant

Member since 8/09

363 total posts

Name:
A

Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by sourpatchkids

Posted by amac27

Posted by VickiC

As another perspective, my son missed around 15 days of school in 1st grade and I received a letter from the district telling me that if he missed anymore, they'd have to investigate. I'm paraphrasing, but it was something like that. He was legitimately sick all those days, and the Principal knew it, but the letter is generated. You're talking just 15 days for vacations. If he gets sick on top of that, you're looking at around 20 days out possibly. That's a lot.



My district started a policy last year that if a child misses more then 10 days, then parents would have to withdraw and then re-enroll their child.



Now this makes me angry. Would you rather me send my child to school with the flu than keep him home?? When DS was in K, he was home sick for well over 10 days. He had Coxsackie, strep throat, the flu, and a stomach virus over the course of the school year. Sorry this doesn’t pertain to what OP is asking, but does this policy apply to sick days?



No, this policy does not apply to sick days. If you had notes from doctor, it would be excused. The Superintendent just became annoyed because parents were taking their children out for excessive amounts of days and then saying "well, it's only (insert grade)..."

Posted 10/27/19 7:47 AM
 

Naturalmama
Love my boys!!

Member since 1/12

2453 total posts

Name:
Christine

middle school- missing school?

No, all of those absences for vacations is excessive. Also, as others have said, what happens if he gets sick? And not just a stomach virus that is usually gone in 24 hours, but something like the flu? My son missed a total of 8 school days last year due to flu- got sick on a Tuesday night, and was out the 3 days following, plus the whole following week. He was SO SICK. If he were already missing 15 days for vacations, forget it...and he was only in 2nd. I totally understand why you wouldn't want your son to miss out on these family trips, they sound fun and special. But, unfortunately, the older you get, the more school needs to come first.
I would probably go on the cruise, skip Disney, and reschedule Aruba.

Posted 10/27/19 1:53 PM
 

aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys

Member since 4/06

11275 total posts

Name:
Ali

Re: middle school- missing school?

I appreciate everyone's opinions, so thank you.

We cannot reschedule Aruba. It is in 2 weeks. Aruba and the cruise for my aunts 80th are definitely happening. We usually only take one fall vacation a year. This year is different because of my aunts 80th in Feb and she had a liver transplant 8 years ago so it 100% is being celebrated.

I do agree that 6th is a lot of work and we're very fortunate that my son is very smart so honestly, it hasn't been a big deal at all as far as the workload, so far. If he wasn't so smart, then of course we'd re-evaluate. He's in advanced math and science. He loves reading. I am extremely good at math so i have always been able to help him, if needed.

We are a family of 5 so traveling during school breaks is not in the budget. Until i absolutely have to, i will avoid that time frame. I work FT and my husband is a police officer so to some extent, we do have to go around his schedule. The summer isn't the best time for us to go away.

I wasn't trying to be inconsiderate of the teachers. I honestly hadn't thought of it like that until some mentioned it. So thank you for opening my eyes to that.

Posted 10/27/19 2:25 PM
 

KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination

Member since 5/05

3371 total posts

Name:
Karen

Re: middle school- missing school?

Posted by aliwnec10

I appreciate everyone's opinions, so thank you.

We cannot reschedule Aruba. It is in 2 weeks. Aruba and the cruise for my aunts 80th are definitely happening. We usually only take one fall vacation a year. This year is different because of my aunts 80th in Feb and she had a liver transplant 8 years ago so it 100% is being celebrated.

I do agree that 6th is a lot of work and we're very fortunate that my son is very smart so honestly, it hasn't been a big deal at all as far as the workload, so far. If he wasn't so smart, then of course we'd re-evaluate. He's in advanced math and science. He loves reading. I am extremely good at math so i have always been able to help him, if needed.

We are a family of 5 so traveling during school breaks is not in the budget. Until i absolutely have to, i will avoid that time frame. I work FT and my husband is a police officer so to some extent, we do have to go around his schedule. The summer isn't the best time for us to go away.

I wasn't trying to be inconsiderate of the teachers. I honestly hadn't thought of it like that until some mentioned it. So thank you for opening my eyes to that.



It really baffles me why people ask for opinions on what to do and not really care what the answers are. If your mind was already made up because your child is so smart, then why post about it at all.

Posted 10/27/19 3:20 PM
 

pumpkinmom
LIF Adult

Member since 5/12

2871 total posts

Name:

Re: middle school- missing school?

Maybe ask someone at the school after how many days out are there any consequences and what are they. I googled one year when I was worried about days out and I found 10% , 18 days, is considered chronic absenteeism in NY. No idea if there are any consequences at that number. And individual districts might have their own rules anyway.

Posted 10/27/19 4:07 PM
 

Sixofus
LIF Adolescent

Member since 10/13

580 total posts

Name:

middle school- missing school?

I won’t pull my middle schoolers out for more than a day or two. Not only is it a lot to ask of the teachers, but my kids actually don’t like missing that much school. It stresses them out to have their schedule disrupted. Plus, they are in private school and high schools they apply to will look at attendance. I have 4 dc and it is definitely expensive when you are limited to traveling during school vacations. I sometimes have miss a day at the beginning or end to help with airfare.

Posted 10/27/19 4:33 PM
 

JME78
LIF Adult

Member since 11/09

3345 total posts

Name:

middle school- missing school?

I don't care what grade it is and how smart your child is - I personally would never consider taking my child out of school for that many days for vacation.

Posted 10/27/19 5:08 PM
 
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