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LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

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MorningCuppaCoffee
Tired!

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LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

I saw this article last night. What are your thoughts? As a social worker here on Long Island, I hope this raises awareness towards the lack of overall housing here for people with disabilities. Family-style housing especially is basically non-existent. (I also don't work with the DD population, but still, IMO, housing is a basic need for ALL).

I also don't necessarily blame the agencies, and wonder how they are going to fair being dragged into this lawsuit. It's concerning because I could see this as a reason why another provider may not want to be involved in providing housing.
___________________________________



Paul Forziano and Hava Samuels are in love. They're getting married. But after their honeymoon, they'll be forced to live in separate homes.

Paul, 29, and Hava, 35, are mentally disabled. They live in Manorville about three miles apart in group homes for the disabled. They've been engaged since 2011, when Paul gave Hava a ring to slip on her size-4 finger.

But after their wedding next Sunday and a short honeymoon in Pennsylvania, they'll be living separately.

It won't be by choice. Their group homes have told them they don't want to house a married couple together, according to court records.

Paul, Hava and their parents have filed a federal lawsuit against New York State and the two nonprofit agencies that run their respective group homes. Their goal is to secure the couple's right to live together, arguing that not allowing them to do so once they're married violates the Fair Housing Act, Americans With Disabilities Act, the due process and equal protection clauses of the 14th Amendment, and New York mental-hygiene law.

The defendants won't comment directly on the suit but are moving to dismiss it in court. A conference is scheduled for Wednesday.

If the two families are successful, said William Brooks, clinical professor of law at Touro Law Center and supervising attorney of the Civil Rights Litigation Clinic at Touro, the case could be precedent-setting. "If successful, it would likely require residential providers of services to people with disabilities to take steps to accommodate individuals who seek to live in marital relationships," Brooks said, adding that there is currently little case law regarding people with intellectual disabilities and marriage.

Some area agencies do allow married couples to live together in group homes, according to court papers.



The couple's story, so far

Paul and Hava met eight years ago at an arts program that teaches skills to people with disabilities through rehearsing and performing shows such as "Fiddler on the Roof" and "Annie."

A year later, the two began to take an interest in each other. "She was very beautiful," Paul said.

The attraction was mutual, and Hava invited Paul on their first date, to a dinner dance at her bike club.

Seven years have passed and Paul and Hava are just as enamored with each other.

"I just want to spend the rest of my life with Hava, and I want to grow old with Hava together and because I just care about Hava," Paul said, explaining why he proposed. "Because I always help Hava when she's sad, and she helps me when I'm sad."

"May I?" Hava asked, as she often does when she needs people to pause while she forms her words. "Love. I love him."

"I love you too, sweetie," Paul said.

The agencies that manage the two group homes -- Independent Group Home Living Program, which runs the home where Paul lives, and Maryhaven Center of Hope, which runs Hava's home -- wouldn't comment directly on the lawsuit.

In a September 2012 letter to Paul's parents, Thomas Trakoval, IGHL senior director of program services, wrote that the agency felt that Paul lacked the skills and ability to be married.

And Walter Stockton, chief executive and founder of IGHL, said in an interview that the agency isn't against relationships, but he said that none of its 55 area group homes are set up for married couples.

"We don't think we're required to provide that type of service in our homes," Stockton said. "It'd be very difficult in the small, family-type environment that we have."

IGHL, Maryhaven and the state attorney general's office have indicated in letters to the court that they plan to seek dismissal of the suit. State officials would not comment directly on the lawsuit.

"We can't comment on matters in litigation," said Chris Hendricks, a spokeswoman for Catholic Health Services, of which Maryhaven Center of Hope is a member.



An uncommon courtship

Paul and Hava see each other at their day program in Port Jefferson Station, on a weekly "date night," and on weekends, when Paul's parents, Roseann and Frank Forziano, or Hava's parents, Bonnie and Norm Samuels, take the couple home with them.

Hava has lived in the group home since 2000, Paul since 2009. Their disabilities mean that neither Paul nor Hava can drive, manage money, or live independently. Their reading and writing skills are limited. They have trouble counting, and find puzzles meant for children to be a challenge.

Paul's IQ was measured at 50 and 58; Hava's at 44 and 50, her scores possibly affected by her struggle to speak more than a few words at a time.

Both families welcomed the relationship but said they were confounded when Paul and Hava first approached them with the idea of marriage.

Could a disabled couple marry? Roseann Forziano wondered whether she would have to discourage Paul, as she did when Paul wanted to learn to drive.

The parents said they researched the issue with the state Office for People With Developmental Disabilities, and found that a disability on its own was not a barrier to marriage.

They also learned that some group homes for the disabled allow married couples to live together.

"It's their civil right, just like anybody else's," Roseann Forziano said.

The families approached Paul's and Hava's group homes, where they said they met resistance.

"Both these agencies felt people like that couldn't have a true marriage," Roseann Forziano said. "If you're not able to live independently, you really shouldn't be married and you shouldn't ask us to do it."

The agencies, according to court records, tested Paul and Hava to see whether their disabilities precluded them from being able to consent to sexual activity. If an individual is classified as "non-consenting," then any sexual contact with that person can be grounds for an abuse claim.

IGHL and Maryhaven conducted sexual-consent assessments on Paul and Hava, court papers say. Each found them unable to consent to sexual conduct, but both sets of parents argue in court papers and in interviews that the exams were done without giving Paul and Hava the sexual education they needed to answer the questions.

The Forzianos and Samuels then began teaching the couple about sex on their own using a curriculum developed by YAI, another area group home provider, then took the couple to YAI in Manhattan for another sexual-consent assessment, which they said they both passed. Maryhaven rejected the outside assessment. And IGHL expressed concerns with how the assessment was done, court papers say.

In January, both families filed suit in federal court in Central Islip against IGHL and Maryhaven, as well as the head of the Office for People With Developmental Disabilities and the state, arguing that the government should require the agencies, which receive government funds, to accept a married couple, especially because other agencies do.

"When you're trying to deny somebody something on the basis of disability, you have to look carefully at what their abilities are and what your reasons are for denying it, and you better have darn good reasons," said Martin Coleman, an attorney litigating the case for the parents.

Paul's and Hava's parents say intellectual disabilities aren't emotional ones -- while they might never be able to crunch a budget, they know what love is.

"There are certain things they don't understand and never will understand," Roseann Forziano said. "That doesn't mean they can't sustain a loving relationship, which is what marriage is."



Seeking long-term solution

Both families noticed changes in their children as the relationship progressed -- Paul became more selfless, constantly solicitous of Hava's needs. Hava grew more self-confident under Paul's stream of compliments, more willing to express her thoughts, however difficult she found the words.

And both sets of parents say Paul and Hava's relationship has brought them a sense of comfort, too.

After their parents die, Paul and Hava will still have each other.

"For me to be able to think that he has a wife and a companion for the rest of his life, it makes it easier for me to kick off at some point," Roseann Forziano said.

"Like any couple, they will be their own family," Frank Forziano said.

On Valentine's Day, mother and daughter disappeared into a small room at the Bridal Suite of Centereach.

When they emerged, Hava walked stiffly inside a strapless wedding dress that pooled around her feet. It was the first fitting for the dress she picked out herself.

"Relax, relax," Bonnie Samuels soothed.

"I am, Mom," Hava insisted, still not moving, her arms rigid at her sides.

Bonnie Samuels, Hava and Roseann Forziano went to the tailoring area, where the seamstress pinned the dress and attached wide straps to the bodice to hold it up.

"Better," Hava said, relaxing a little and smiling as she gazed at her image in the mirror.

"Hava had a baby-naming at 2 weeks old," Bonnie Samuels said as the seamstress cut through the rich ivory fabric at Hava's feet. "There's a prayer -- 'I should see you under the chuppah [canopy in a Jewish wedding ceremony] with your bridegroom.' And then when we found out she had problems, it was like, those are things I'll never see. Then she had a bat mitzvah, which was amazing. And now to do this, this is even more amazing."

After the fitting, Samuels, Forziano and Hava drove to R&S Diamond Exchange in Rocky Point, where they had purchased Hava's engagement ring. Paul, Frank Forziano and Norm Samuels were already there, ready to select the couple's wedding bands.

The couple leaned over the display case, looking at a variety of gold wedding bands. Hava tried on a yellow band, then a white one, comparing them both against her engagement ring.

"Hard decision," Hava said. "Hard."

"I want one like Daddy's," Paul said.

Their parents helping them, they decided on matching gold bands -- yellow for Paul, white for Hava.

Paul and Hava could live together after their wedding if they were to move in with their parents. The lawsuit says that the state made that recommendation, but neither set of parents believes that's a long-term solution. Paul and Hava moved to group homes, they said, because they needed a place to live that would last beyond the life span of their parents.

"If they came home and lived with us, and then something happened to the both of us and they both needed emergency placement . . . who's going to force them to house them together?" Roseann Forziano said. "They could very well be separated."

While the parents researched other agencies that would take married couples, they said they couldn't find any in the area with openings. But they believe all agencies should be required to house married couples.



All set for matrimony

Meanwhile, the families are preparing for Paul and Hava's wedding next Sunday.

"We're doing a leap of faith," Roseann Forziano said. "We're all not getting any younger."

Some unknowns lie ahead. While the couple has received sexuality education, none of the parents know whether their relationship will be a sexual one. Hava is on birth control pills for a medical issue, and the parents say Paul and Hava know having children isn't an option for them because of their disabilities.

"The sexual aspect of their marriage is their business," Frank Forziano said. "Maybe they won't have sex. Maybe they will."

The parents have said they're preparing Paul and Hava for the fact that, after their honeymoon, they'll be returned to their respective group homes.

"It's going to be the saddest moment when we take them back," Norm Samuels said.

A week after Valentine's Day, the two families gathered at Brookhaven Town Hall to apply for Paul and Hava's marriage license.

"I feel nervous," Roseann Forziano said. She carried a sheaf of paperwork, including the papers that indicated she and her husband gave up their rights as guardians over Paul in regard to marriage.

Paul was excited.

"I want to get married just like you and Daddy got married and just like Bonnie and Norm got married and just like my grandparents got married," he said.

Finally, it was time to go in. Paul and Hava sat down, clutching each other's hands, as senior clerk Mary Dugan typed the license.

"I'm happy," Hava said.

"Me too, honey. I'm happy," Paul replied. "I'm so excited, honey. Our marriage license."

When Dugan returned with the license, the two mothers went over it for mistakes, then watched as Paul wrote his name on the signature line. When it was Hava's turn, her mother coached her through each letter.

"You know how to make an 'A,' " Samuels said.

Back at the Forzianos' house, Frank Forziano popped open a bottle of sparkling wine.

"To Paul and Hava on this wonderful, groundbreaking day -- the day of their getting their marriage license," he said. "Now we're legal, and we're ready to go."

Posted 3/31/13 8:50 AM
 
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!

Member since 12/05

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Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

Interesting article. Thanks for sharing.
I am also a swer and in the field.
I am familiar with The agency as well but don't work for them.
I also have a handicapped sister.
With that said, I am not sure why the defense is about the agencies capabilities of dealing with it...that's a poor defense. Now if we were talking about how trying it is to make changes in general due to wait lists and what not, I am in agreement. In my opinion it would be unfair in general to place someone and change placements once done. The wait lists to get in are huge. There are so many just waiting for an actual residence. I feel that if the parents want the two together, maybe they need to rent an apt for the two with a 24 hr supervisor or nurse. Almost like a residential program without walls
. It's ll about allocating the money but in a different way. I would like to think the courts could figure that out.

Posted 3/31/13 9:08 AM
 

missfabulous
2under2

Member since 6/09

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Name:
Colleen

LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

I hope the couple wins this case. They should be able to live together as any other married couple can, regardless of their intellectual functioning.
I feel like the defense's case is going to be very weak. They don't have the housing for them? Then find some. It's like saying someone in a wheelchair can't eat a restaurant because there aren't stairs- well build some. IMO they are definitely violating the Americans with Disabilities Act.

What annoys me most though: "the agency felt that Paul lacked the skills and ability to be married." Since when does being married require skills? As far as I'm concerned the only "skill" you need to be married is love. I can't believe this agency thinks they have the right to tell someone they shouldn't be able to get married. So sad.

I hope this couple wins. They deserve their right to live together as any other married couple does.

Posted 3/31/13 9:20 AM
 

SusiBee
. . . . .

Member since 3/09

4851 total posts

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S

LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

Could the agencies be uneasy about the couple possibly having a child together ?
It' s a great story and I do hope that Paul and Hava will be allowed to live together.

Posted 3/31/13 9:29 AM
 

MorningCuppaCoffee
Tired!

Member since 12/07

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Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

Posted by SusiBee

Could the agencies be uneasy about the couple possibly having a child together ?
It' s a great story and I do hope that Paul and Hava will be allowed to live together.



I am sure it is an uneasiness for a variety of reasons.

But most likely tied to the fact that there are little housing resources and if you do for one couple, how does this open up to other couples?

Not saying that I agree with this kind of thinking, but as I mentioned up thread, resources for families who want to live together are few and far between and have wait lists for YEARS.

Posted 3/31/13 9:34 AM
 

PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!

Member since 12/05

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Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

Posted by missfabulous

I hope the couple wins this case. They should be able to live together as any other married couple can, regardless of their intellectual functioning.
I feel like the defense's case is going to be very weak. They don't have the housing for them? Then find some. It's like saying someone in a wheelchair can't eat a restaurant because there aren't stairs- well build some. IMO they are definitely violating the Americans with Disabilities Act.

What annoys me most though: "the agency felt that Paul lacked the skills and ability to be married." Since when does being married require skills? As far as I'm concerned the only "skill" you need to be married is love. I can't believe this agency thinks they have the right to tell someone they shouldn't be able to get married. So sad.

I hope this couple wins. They deserve their right to live together as any other married couple does.

Chat Icon I agree with this. Though, I don't think the agency has to fin something. They already gave them a space to live. The agencies defense seems so weak. Especially some of the things you mention above. I don't get it. I do believe Ada should get involved and figure out where they will live even if its not this agency.

Message edited 3/31/2013 9:35:25 AM.

Posted 3/31/13 9:34 AM
 

MorningCuppaCoffee
Tired!

Member since 12/07

15692 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

Posted by PrincessP

Interesting article. Thanks for sharing.
I am also a swer and in the field.
I am familiar with The agency as well but don't work for them.
I also have a handicapped sister.
With that said, I am not sure why the defense is about the agencies capabilities of dealing with it...that's a poor defense. Now if we were talking about how trying it is to make changes in general due to wait lists and what not, I am in agreement. In my opinion it would be unfair in general to place someone and change placements once done. The wait lists to get in are huge. There are so many just waiting for an actual residence. I feel that if the parents want the two together, maybe they need to rent an apt for the two with a 24 hr supervisor or nurse. Almost like a residential program without walls
. It's ll about allocating the money but in a different way. I would like to think the courts could figure that out.



I agree with this as well.

Posted 3/31/13 9:58 AM
 

peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!

Member since 11/10

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Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

This story breaks my heart. I hope they win their case.

Posted 3/31/13 9:59 AM
 

tara73
carseat nerd

Member since 11/09

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Buttercup

Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

Posted by SusiBee

Could the agencies be uneasy about the couple possibly having a child together ?
It' s a great story and I do hope that Paul and Hava will be allowed to live together.



Considering the couple is going on a honeymoon, spends every weekend together, and has date night on Thursdays, this is already a possibilty even if they don't live together.

I hope they win, otherwise what is the point of having community based residences? Isn't it to help integrate them into society and feel as "normal" as possible? And what is more normal than having relationships, be it friendships or romance?

Posted 3/31/13 10:04 AM
 

LastLightGlow
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Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

.

Message edited 1/11/2014 10:18:55 PM.

Posted 3/31/13 1:14 PM
 

KwaaksNest
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Member since 6/10

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Samantha

Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

Posted by missfabulous

I hope the couple wins this case. They should be able to live together as any other married couple can, regardless of their intellectual functioning.
I feel like the defense's case is going to be very weak. They don't have the housing for them? Then find some. It's like saying someone in a wheelchair can't eat a restaurant because there aren't stairs- well build some. IMO they are definitely violating the Americans with Disabilities Act.

What annoys me most though: "the agency felt that Paul lacked the skills and ability to be married." Since when does being married require skills? As far as I'm concerned the only "skill" you need to be married is love. I can't believe this agency thinks they have the right to tell someone they shouldn't be able to get married. So sad.

I hope this couple wins. They deserve their right to live together as any other married couple does.



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon I hope the couple wins, its a sad situation. I worked in the field in group homes for years and this would be a major step in the right direction for equal rights.

Every female i have every worked with is on birth control pills so i dont think having a baby is something to be worried about

Posted 3/31/13 2:01 PM
 

luvmotherhood
Summer already?!?

Member since 2/13

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love my family!

LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

i also work in the field, though not with that population nor for any of those homes.
its a tough one. the article is heartwarming though, and i do wish them the best with their fight.

Posted 3/31/13 7:40 PM
 

Bearcat
Love my little pippa <3

Member since 6/10

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E

Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

What a story. I hope they find a living situation that works for them.

I am not sure the ADA or the FHA requires this type of accommodation... this will be a very interesting decision should it get to that point.

Thanks for posting - I'm going to keep an eye on this one.

Posted 3/31/13 10:04 PM
 

sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!

Member since 1/07

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Tricia

Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee

Posted by SusiBee

Could the agencies be uneasy about the couple possibly having a child together ?
It' s a great story and I do hope that Paul and Hava will be allowed to live together.



I am sure it is an uneasiness for a variety of reasons.

But most likely tied to the fact that there are little housing resources and if you do for one couple, how does this open up to other couples?

Not saying that I agree with this kind of thinking, but as I mentioned up thread, resources for families who want to live together are few and far between and have wait lists for YEARS.




Not sure if people realize this but, the waiting list is about 20 years. My aunt is in a group home in Huntington. My lived grandfather was in Glen cove and my dad is in Seaford. While my Grandfather was alive it was VERY difficult for him to drive to Glen Cove then then Huntington to pick up my Aunt and then to wherever they were to spend the day and the drop them back off. It took hours of driving every other weekend. We asked to have her switched. They told us it could take years and they don't switch based on location. They could have her switched but, it would go to the next available best match which could be in the Hamptons. In the end we kept her in her group home.

I work in the field and although the wait list is 20 years it is need based as well as sequential. However my high school students are placed on wait lists when they are 15 in anticipation of needing it in 25 years when the parents can no longer care for them. Marriage issues aside it sets an impossible to fufill presidence to change group home settings for them and not everyone else. I worked with two adults in NYC that were married and they visited each other all the time and had private time to do whatever they wanted but, they didn't live together.

In the end, the parents chose this living option for them. They can change it but, to ask agencies to bend rules when there are TONS of people waiting to just be placed is really unfair.

Posted 4/1/13 7:07 AM
 

sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!

Member since 1/07

9363 total posts

Name:
Tricia

Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

Posted by TuttsyLow

Posted by SusiBee

Could the agencies be uneasy about the couple possibly having a child together ?
It' s a great story and I do hope that Paul and Hava will be allowed to live together.



This is such a tough one. I don't know that it's the marriage itself that is the issue but what would happen if they had a child. Would the agency have to accommodate the child or would the couple then be forced to find other housing? Would they have to give up the baby? Obviously they don't need to be married to have a child but I think by providing arrangements for a married couple makes it more likely. Are there agencies that work to help married disabled couples raise children?



This! I am not saying they shouldn't have a child but, does the group home need to provide a room for any child? Thus kicking out someone else or not letting in an adult who is so in need of a placement. Again, the parents CHOSE group homes as the option for them. There are rules and parameters associated with them. IMO it is up to the parents to find a different option if this is what they want to persue.

Children aside...Realize that every single group home is packed to capacity. The parents are asking the agency to move someone else who is comfortable and may have called this place home for many many years into a new home. It's not fair.

Message edited 4/1/2013 7:17:04 AM.

Posted 4/1/13 7:10 AM
 

MorningCuppaCoffee
Tired!

Member since 12/07

15692 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

Posted by sfp0701

Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee

Posted by SusiBee

Could the agencies be uneasy about the couple possibly having a child together ?
It' s a great story and I do hope that Paul and Hava will be allowed to live together.



I am sure it is an uneasiness for a variety of reasons.

But most likely tied to the fact that there are little housing resources and if you do for one couple, how does this open up to other couples?

Not saying that I agree with this kind of thinking, but as I mentioned up thread, resources for families who want to live together are few and far between and have wait lists for YEARS.




Not sure if people realize this but, the waiting list is about 20 years. My aunt is in a group home in Huntington. My lived grandfather was in Glen cove and my dad is in Seaford. While my Grandfather was alive it was VERY difficult for him to drive to Glen Cove then then Huntington to pick up my Aunt and then to wherever they were to spend the day and the drop them back off. It took hours of driving every other weekend. We asked to have her switched. They told us it could take years and they don't switch based on location. They could have her switched but, it would go to the next available best match which could be in the Hamptons. In the end we kept her in her group home.

I work in the field and although the wait list is 20 years it is need based as well as sequential. However my high school students are placed on wait lists when they are 15 in anticipation of needing it in 25 years when the parents can no longer care for them. Marriage issues aside it sets an impossible to fufill presidence to change group home settings for them and not everyone else. I worked with two adults in NYC that were married and they visited each other all the time and had private time to do whatever they wanted but, they didn't live together.

In the end, the parents chose this living option for them. They can change it but, to ask agencies to bend rules when there are TONS of people waiting to just be placed is really unfair.



My only experience with group homes was with a MH agency, and this one was geared to people who had both a MH diagnosis who were also DD. There was always a wait list and no one was moving until they basically died. It's similar for most residential programs I have worked in (apartment programs; supported housing).

I think that if this that important to the parents for their kids to be together, and they also see this as an issue for other people in the same situations, maybe they should look into forming their own agency.

From what I have seen, this is often how a lot of programs come about for people in need.

I do get that this is not always that easy though (trust me, I'd love to open my own housing program but see the barriers to that, primarily $$$), but having been a social worker since the late 90's, I also know that it's easier to blame agencies about gaps in the system that they have absolutely no control over, then take some kind of responsibility.

I know that sounds mean, and it's certainly not my intention.

As for special needs people having a child, I do believe there are supports out there.

I have only seen them come about though through an open CPS case.

I had a client once who had supports from an agency called "Mercy First". They were time limited though and it was also still not a perfect system and not nearly enough support for the client and her family IMO. Once the child aged out, the same problems that the client and her family were struggling with, did not go away.


ETA: Rules are generally rules when it comes to housing. I obtain many of my clients apartments in buildings that are built for the elderly and the disabled. I have seen situations where the client tried to move their adult child who is under 55 in with them. It's horrible but the buidlings will evict a disabled tenant over this kind of thing.

Message edited 4/1/2013 8:07:20 AM.

Posted 4/1/13 8:03 AM
 

MorningCuppaCoffee
Tired!

Member since 12/07

15692 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

Posted by KwaaksNest

Posted by missfabulous

I hope the couple wins this case. They should be able to live together as any other married couple can, regardless of their intellectual functioning.
I feel like the defense's case is going to be very weak. They don't have the housing for them? Then find some. It's like saying someone in a wheelchair can't eat a restaurant because there aren't stairs- well build some. IMO they are definitely violating the Americans with Disabilities Act.

What annoys me most though: "the agency felt that Paul lacked the skills and ability to be married." Since when does being married require skills? As far as I'm concerned the only "skill" you need to be married is love. I can't believe this agency thinks they have the right to tell someone they shouldn't be able to get married. So sad.

I hope this couple wins. They deserve their right to live together as any other married couple does.



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon I hope the couple wins, its a sad situation. I worked in the field in group homes for years and this would be a major step in the right direction for equal rights.

Every female i have every worked with is on birth control pills so i dont think having a baby is something to be worried about



I agree about the birth control thing too. When I worked in the group home, all of my female residents were on birth control.

They were also supervised in taking it daily.

Posted 4/1/13 8:10 AM
 

MrsYank
She's here :)

Member since 4/07

3226 total posts

Name:
Mrs. Yank

Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

I read this story the other day and it made me so sad.

Has anyone watched the HBO Documentary "Monica and David"? It's great movie about 2 adults living with down syndrome who get married and live with each other. However, the bride's mom has a big enough house that they live in an apartment with her.

It's a GREAT movie. I hope that this couple wins the case!

Posted 4/1/13 6:00 PM
 

LastLightGlow
Mystic.

Member since 4/07

2004 total posts

Name:

Re: LI Disabled Couple Forced to Live Apart

Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee

Posted by KwaaksNest

Posted by missfabulous

I hope the couple wins this case. They should be able to live together as any other married couple can, regardless of their intellectual functioning.
I feel like the defense's case is going to be very weak. They don't have the housing for them? Then find some. It's like saying someone in a wheelchair can't eat a restaurant because there aren't stairs- well build some. IMO they are definitely violating the Americans with Disabilities Act.
What annoys me most though: "the agency felt that Paul lacked the skills and ability to be married." Since when does being married require skills? As far as I'm concerned the only "skill" you need to be married is love. I can't believe this agency thinks they have the right to tell someone they shouldn't be able to get married. So sad.


I hope this couple wins. They deserve their right to live together as any other married couple does.



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon I hope the couple wins, its a sad situation. I worked in the field in group homes for years and this would be a major step in the right direction for equal rights.

Every female i have every worked with is on birth control pills so i dont think having a baby is something to be worried about



I agree about the birth control thing too. When I worked in the group home, all of my female residents were on birth control.

They were also supervised in taking it daily.




I want to make it clear that I 100% want this couple to be able to get married and have the same rights as any other couple. However, it is possible if not likley that many of these couples will WANT to have children and i dont think you can force birth control in that situation. The home would be forced to accommodate this. Not saying this is right or wrong, but it's a factor I think.

Posted 4/2/13 8:30 AM
 
 
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