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"Keeping Up With the Jonses"

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Beth
The Key to your new home....

Member since 2/06

24849 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

when my life was a disaster I did a very good job of making it look like perfection

so I am not concerned with what people drive, where they live or how much money they have- unless they are trying to buy a house from me Chat Icon

Posted 3/5/12 2:12 PM
 
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maybesoon
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09

5981 total posts

Name:

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Message edited 3/5/2012 2:16:27 PM.

Posted 3/5/12 2:15 PM
 

Hofstra26
Love to Bake!

Member since 7/06

27915 total posts

Name:

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

I try not to sweat what others have and what others do because in all honesty, harping on those things won't change my situation one bit.

DH and I have made a nice life together and I am happy and fortunate for what we have. But we also take responsibility for the financial mistakes we made which got us in the position of not being to afford every little thing we want.

I can't lie, of course, I would love a bigger house, fancier vacations, newer car, etc. but I know that those things will come in time and I am okay with waiting a little. My DH, fortunately, does very well BUUUUT we do have a lot of credit card debt which is what's holding us back. So, we're working really hard towards paying that all off so that in the next 2-3 years we can have all the "extras" that we want and really enjoy ourselves more. It will be so nice to not have the burden of debt anymore. And it feels good to at least have a plan in place and to be working towards something together. KWIM? It keeps me from being jealous or envious of others.

I guess my honest feeling is that seeing what others have just motivates the both of us to work that much harder towards reaching our own goals. My DH works hard at his job and I do my part at home by watching what we spend and sticking to our budget and I know that we will have the things we want..............all in due time. A little sacrificing now for a better future tomorrow. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 3/5/12 2:30 PM
 

Dulcinea
Weekend Warrior

Member since 3/08

2530 total posts

Name:
Dulcinea

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Posted by GoldenRod

I don't try to keep up with the Joneses. I do enjoy material things, but only as much as I'm comfortable spending. I don't buy things to keep up with anyone. I buy things that I want, and offer the best "bang for the buck". That usually means I get things that are better than average, but far from "top of the line", since I think there's a diminishing return as you spend more money.



So true!

This is what I do too. Also, there are towns where 'keeping up with the Jones' mentality is more prevalent (generally the more expensive a town is, the more you'll see the need to keep up with the Jones.) so I won't even consider living in those towns. Don't need my son coming home and asking when I'm getting him an Ipad 'cus his preschool friend has one! :P

Posted 3/5/12 3:29 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54915 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Posted by Beth

when my life was a disaster I did a very good job of making it look like perfection

so I am not concerned with what people drive, where they live or how much money they have- unless they are trying to buy a house from me Chat Icon




Chat Icon
It's amazing how far smoke and mirrors can go.... and how money does NOT buy happiness....

Posted 3/5/12 3:41 PM
 

PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken

Member since 6/11

9145 total posts

Name:
Phyllis

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

We don't try to "Keep up" but I do wonder how people do it sometimes.

We work very hard and do pretty well.

We know that EVENTUALLY we will have the things we want. It just takes time to get there. It's not based on who has what, it's based on - Oh, I always wanted a ...." Let's figure out a way to do that!

Posted 3/5/12 3:54 PM
 

jilliibabii
Mrs. O'Connor

Member since 6/10

12821 total posts

Name:
Jillian

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by Beth

when my life was a disaster I did a very good job of making it look like perfection

so I am not concerned with what people drive, where they live or how much money they have- unless they are trying to buy a house from me Chat Icon




Chat Icon
It's amazing how far smoke and mirrors can go.... and how money does NOT buy happiness....



Totally true!!! I had a friend in HS and she was one to keep up with the jonses. She maxed out her credit cards the first year in college. She looked awesome doing it, and I was always a little jealous, but she told me now how much she regrets it. And she's JUST paid it all off. NOT worth it.

Posted 3/5/12 4:09 PM
 

Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!

Member since 8/05

14470 total posts

Name:
Veronica

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

I'm poor and happy
haha (mostly)

I live in a moderate neighborhood in the smallest floor plan house. We collectively are a group of hard working folks making decent livings but no one is fancy rich or have boats in the front of their house (often cause some do).

We all kinda nod to each other as we do our own gardens, mow our own lawns, pick up our yards and keep our kids in line. No one has nannies or lawn care. We make do and respect those of us in the same like. We also take a lot of pride in it. Our neighborhood is always clean, kids run rampant but off the streets, no one steals the kids' bikes left in at various yards. Its a good place.

That's grand but we ALSO live within the most expensive school district in town. We pay pretty for our little slice of heaven. Its a little hide away off the road. Other homes around us are grand! Huge 2/3 story messes with manicured gardens and 'staff'. The school my daughter will go to is going to be a true money first place. It worries we she won't be able to keep up with the jones. I only hope that by then we'll have saved enough and benefited from our relatively moderate mortgage to help her out.

Ugh.


ETA: actually i was thinking all her friends (and god help me boyfriends) will most likely live behind gates. How can I storm over and pick her up if I can't even get into the neighborhoods?!

Message edited 3/5/2012 4:23:17 PM.

Posted 3/5/12 4:21 PM
 

Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!

Member since 5/05

12165 total posts

Name:

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Posted by NervousNell

I'm the same as you.
We drive our cars into the ground, I buy clothes in Target (and get compliments all the time, might I add) we never go on fancy vacations, out to expensive dinners etc
And at the end of the day we are paying our mortgage off early and have no CC debt
We can have all those material things- but we chose not to- and also not to have debt
We live within our means.
It's just a matter of what your priorites are.
To some people, that new car, or fancy purse are VERY important.
To others, not so much.



This sounds just like us. Honestly, I can't think of anything anyone else has or does that I'm envious of.

I think today's society contributes a lot to feeling bad about your station in life though, so I'm sure it's hard not to feel down sometimes. Between "reality" TV, FB, LIF and other chat boards and now Pinterest... When you think about it it's like, why the hell should we care what everyone else is doing and buying and driving and making? I often think if we all looked inward a bit and focused on doing the very best that we can in our OWN way the world might be better off... And that's my 2 cents!

Posted 3/5/12 4:40 PM
 

PearlJamChick
No one sings like you anymore.

Member since 7/10

9264 total posts

Name:
Petticoated Swashbuckler

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Yeah, we don't bother with that.

Who are we going to impress? The Jonses? Who are they, anyway? And why do they care so much? Chat Icon

It's just not our thing. We like certain things that might be on the pricy side: musical instruments, concert tickets, certain types of booze Chat Icon, and DH has been restoring a '72 Dodge for awhile now. But something tells me that these Jonses folks wouldn't be impressed by that nonsense! Chat Icon

We're happy. We're healthy. We're not in debt. Our mortgage is going to be paid off fairly quickly. We have the ability to take care of emergency expenses when they arise...something tells me that my dentist would not have accepted a used designer bag as payment for nearly $3K of emergency dental work last week. For us, those are the things that matter.

Posted 3/5/12 4:41 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18802 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

I have things I want for my family but it is not bc I am comparing myself to anyone else.

The goals DH and I have about the type of home we would like to raise our children in , the type of savings we want for their college and our retirement etc. are not because of or in spite of what anyone else has.

Posted 3/5/12 4:43 PM
 

KittyKatCopper
missing my handsome boy

Member since 3/09

1579 total posts

Name:
Kat - HamptonsBride (LIW)

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Dh & I pride ourselves on being the "white trash" of the neighborhood...haha. I never understood the need to drive a luxury car or pay more than $50 for a handbag. I get excited by how much money I can save when I shop, not an excessive amount I could spend. We live in the Hamptons which exemplifies the whole "Jones" lifestyle. But here we are in a tiny 2 bedroom house driving old Toyotas..and loving every minute of it because we aren't living beyond our means trying to impress people we don't even know.

Posted 3/5/12 6:00 PM
 

peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!

Member since 11/10

5287 total posts

Name:

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

DH and I live in a rather small house, so sometimes I feel a little bit jealous when I look at other houses. However, then I remind myself that we bought a house at 23 & 24 years old, while I was still in school and barely working. Anytime little jealousies like that do come up, I just try to remember what we do have, and I also remind myself that we compromise some things for other things that are more important to us.

Posted 3/5/12 7:21 PM
 

lisab7
LIF Infant

Member since 10/10

352 total posts

Name:
Lisa

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

I've never had enough money to keep up with the jonses. When I did have credit cards, I maxed them all out and had nothing to show for it. Now I live on cash and I have what I have, thats it.

Sometimes I do get jealous though of those who seem to have it so easy. I wonder if I'll ever be one of those people Chat Icon

Posted 3/5/12 8:41 PM
 

butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015

Member since 4/06

7390 total posts

Name:

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Long Island is FULL of this menality. Hell LIF in general seems to be a big example of this.




ita

Posted 3/5/12 9:53 PM
 

EatingMyVeggies

Member since 1/12

6667 total posts

Name:

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Posted by butterfly20

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Long Island is FULL of this menality. Hell LIF in general seems to be a big example of this.




ita



I'm curious to know how LIF is a valid example? Not meaning to Chat Icon w/this question.

Yes, people hire photographers, go all out for birthday parties, do construction on their homes, take lavish vacations, but that occurs IRL, as well. Similiarily, if one goes all out for a Christening, they may not be taking a vacation this year.

Can someone offer her or his opinion on this?

Message edited 3/5/2012 10:34:32 PM.

Posted 3/5/12 10:33 PM
 

KartveliT
...

Member since 1/08

8363 total posts

Name:

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Long Island is FULL of this menality. Hell LIF in general seems to be a big example of this.


so true !

also Howard Beach, NY. It's the worst, one of the reasons I can't wait to get the he!! away from here .

Oh and me, I don't care, or I should say we don't care, we are who we are and we have what we have...

Message edited 3/5/2012 11:04:46 PM.

Posted 3/5/12 11:03 PM
 

Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed

Member since 4/09

6691 total posts

Name:

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

I laugh at the Jonses because they're in debt up to their arse usually....unless they are fabulously wealthy.

I wear out everything till threadbare. Never buy expensive clothes or shoes, save every penny, eat out maybe twice a month...we have no debt and save up to go on lots of vacations. Thats where we spend, but not to keep up with anyone, only to enjoy us time.

I know people who spend their check before its even cashed. Have to have $200 sunglasses, Coach whatever, but don't have a pot to pi$$ in.

Posted 3/5/12 11:07 PM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

19453 total posts

Name:
L

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

CNC - I think people only see a snapshot of what other people want them to see on LIF and even IRL. Some parents do go all out for parties and vacations, but they might not get their nails done, or go for a hair cut, and eat on a strict budget. Other people get great purses/shoes, but they are childless by choice so they don't have to spend money on childcare. It is all a matter of priorities - and yes, some might have it all, and be in debt to their eyeballs barely making minimum payments on their cc or loans. There are very few people who actually have it all - in fact I cannot name a single person I know IRL who has it all (or what I consider having it all).

Message edited 3/5/2012 11:11:22 PM.

Posted 3/5/12 11:09 PM
 

MissJones
I need a nap!

Member since 5/05

22131 total posts

Name:

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Posted by Mrs213

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Long Island is FULL of this menality. Hell LIF in general seems to be a big example of this.




This is what I was wondering too if it's a regional thing.

ETA I never even really thought of this kind of thing until I bought a house reallyChat Icon



See, i disagree. In suffolk, people buy a house and in time fix it up. In queens, people buy a house, TEAR IT DOWN and build a brand new one that is three times bigger all while parking luxory cars and carrying louis. im talking entire blocks of this. If thats not keeping up, i dontbknow ehat is.

Posted 3/6/12 6:15 AM
 

JennP
LIF Adult

Member since 10/06

3986 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Posted by LSP2005

CNC - I think people only see a snapshot of what other people want them to see on LIF and even IRL. Some parents do go all out for parties and vacations, but they might not get their nails done, or go for a hair cut, and eat on a strict budget. Other people get great purses/shoes, but they are childless by choice so they don't have to spend money on childcare. It is all a matter of priorities - and yes, some might have it all, and be in debt to their eyeballs barely making minimum payments on their cc or loans. There are very few people who actually have it all - in fact I cannot name a single person I know IRL who has it all (or what I consider having it all).



This is pretty much what I was going to write.

I think you can't judge based on LIF, for many reasons.

Many people use it largely as a place to ask for recommendations about things that are often big ticket items like party locations, trips, nice dinners out, etc. Something like that could be their only splurge in a year.

Also, despite the recent proliferation of posts about things like couponing and saving money, people are overall still less inclined to post about financial problems or even just the desire to save a few bucks.

So I think we all get an unbalanced view of each other.

Again, you don't know what people are giving up to buy whatever they are posting about. I really don't know a single soul rich enough to just buy whatever they want without making the choice to sacrifice something else. But that could just be the circles I run in.Chat Icon

Posted 3/6/12 6:27 AM
 

sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!

Member since 1/07

9764 total posts

Name:
Tricia

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

I feel jealous. Mostly because we bought and eensy weensy starter home and are stuck in it becauase it has lost half of it's value. It's literally 750 square feet. Negative equaity and no money to expand. So yeah. We made a modest income and are stuck in this awful house. Our only choice is to walk away and we aren't doing that.

So yeah.. I have a lot of jealousy that we didn't wait 8 months to buy a home and our friends all have beautiful, modest homes. Are we stuck with this #%$#%^$#^.
We can't sell or expand like we planned and I am upset.

As far as cars. I love my 2005 subaru so no.. that doesn't bother me. I would love to do a nice tropical vacay but, I am not green with envy over that. I always try to do it but, stop when i see the price tag. Not worth it for me. It's just he house thing for me.

We have a ton of credit card debt that we are so close to paying all off. After that, we start saving like crazy to get ourselves out of this situation.

Message edited 3/6/2012 6:58:27 AM.

Posted 3/6/12 6:55 AM
 

GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!

Member since 1/07

14818 total posts

Name:

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Posted by JennP

Posted by LSP2005

CNC - I think people only see a snapshot of what other people want them to see on LIF and even IRL. Some parents do go all out for parties and vacations, but they might not get their nails done, or go for a hair cut, and eat on a strict budget. Other people get great purses/shoes, but they are childless by choice so they don't have to spend money on childcare. It is all a matter of priorities - and yes, some might have it all, and be in debt to their eyeballs barely making minimum payments on their cc or loans. There are very few people who actually have it all - in fact I cannot name a single person I know IRL who has it all (or what I consider having it all).



This is pretty much what I was going to write.

I think you can't judge based on LIF, for many reasons.

Many people use it largely as a place to ask for recommendations about things that are often big ticket items like party locations, trips, nice dinners out, etc. Something like that could be their only splurge in a year.

Also, despite the recent proliferation of posts about things like couponing and saving money, people are overall still less inclined to post about financial problems or even just the desire to save a few bucks.

So I think we all get an unbalanced view of each other.

Again, you don't know what people are giving up to buy whatever they are posting about. I really don't know a single soul rich enough to just buy whatever they want without making the choice to sacrifice something else. But that could just be the circles I run in.Chat Icon



I like this, I think you make a good point!


I am jealous, INSANELY jealous of what other people have. It is something that I work on but I really try not to spend based on that jealousy.

Posted 3/6/12 6:57 AM
 

klingklang77
kraftwerk!

Member since 7/06

11486 total posts

Name:
Völlig losgelöst

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

I'm not interested in keeping up with the Joneses.

I don't want most of the stuff they have, and to be honest, I find that life kind of boring. We don't own a car because we don't need it- we ride our bikes or use public transport. We don't own a house or apartment because we don't want to pay for it, and I don't want to clean it Chat Icon. I'd rather spend that money on other things, other interests. I do, however, like technology and I like a modern computer etc. But I just like it; I'm not trying to keep up with anyone.

I don't want to keep up with them, and I kind of find living like that not my style. For me the less things the better- I'm more about spending money on experiences.

ETA: the only debt we have is my student loan. We don't carry over credit card balances b/c they don't have credit cards like that in Germany.

Message edited 3/6/2012 7:03:55 AM.

Posted 3/6/12 7:01 AM
 

GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!

Member since 11/06

26792 total posts

Name:
Shawn

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

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Posted 3/6/12 7:15 AM
 
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