Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

We recently found out we are expecting our first baby!!!
DH calls his SIL for dr info... She told him that the dr will test us on our first visit to see if there are any problems and (I QUOTE) then we will know "if we should go through with it"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


WHO says that??????? I mean if she wanted to just tell us about the 1st dr appt... there are better words than... "if we should go through with it". Or she could have said nothing about the topic and let the doctor deal with it. It's not like DH was asking what would go on during the first appt!!!!

Is it my pregnant hormones acting up... or is this an AWFUL thing to say???? What do you ladies think??
I would NEVER say that to someone... esp someone who JUST found out they are pregnant for the first time!!!!!!

What is she even talking about? All I can come up with is the age test to see if there are any problems. I'm 29... I heard of tests that they do if you are over a certain age... but I don't think I fall into that category.


OH and here is another one... I was looking for a doctor and called to make an appt with one. The woman on the phone told me not to come until January because they they will have a better idea that "it will last". I was like WHAT????

Message edited 12/15/2009 9:07:50 AM.

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

People who have had babies think they know everything.
Ignore her and just listen to your doctor.

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

that's definitely rude!! i'd be p1ssed as well!!!

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

Very Rude! Some people just have no clue...

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

Wow, that is nasty. Have our SIL's met? Don't listen to a word she said, she sounds like a miserable you know what. And I am a year younger than you and no, there are no age related concerns for our age group.

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

Sooooo rude!

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

I think it is an absolutely horrible thing to say. If this was someone close to me I would have a serious problem with it and think very differently of that person going forward.

Try not to let it get it to you, now you know her stance on things so I would just avoid discussing things with her in the future

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

totally rude and obnoxious! ignore her!

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

Posted by MrsKS

We recently found out we are expecting our first baby!!!
DH calls his SIL for dr info... She told him that the dr will test us on our first visit to see if there are any problems and (I QUOTE) then we will know "if we should go through with it"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


WHO says that??????? I mean if she wanted to just tell us about the 1st dr appt... there are better words than... "if we should go through with it". Or she could have said nothing about the topic and let the doctor deal with it. It's not like DH was asking what would go on during the first appt!!!!

Is it my pregnant hormones acting up... or is this an AWFUL thing to say???? What do you ladies think??
I would NEVER say that to someone... esp someone who JUST found out they are pregnant for the first time!!!!!!

What is she even talking about? All I can come up with is the age test to see if there are any problems. I'm 29... I heard of tests that they do if you are over a certain age... but I don't think I fall into that category.


OH and here is another one... I was looking for a doctor and called to make an appt with one. The woman on the phone told me not to come until January because they they will have a better idea that "it will last". I was like WHAT????

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

She def. could've been more tactful in letting you know what to expect. Sometimes people just don't have filters.

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

That is a horriible thing to say! Like pp said, ignore her and just listen to your doctor.

I am only 4 months but have learned to IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE!! I have heard some of the dumbest/rudest things in my life over this time. Its as if people loose all common sense and think they can say anything they want when your preggo

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

OK so i'm not insane!! I started to say something about that comment and DH kinda stuck up for her, saying she was trying to help us!!! he too thought it was odd but wasn't as perturbed as I was about it!! I'm glad you guys agree!! That's a terrible thing to say. She JUST had a baby too... the week before we got married!! She should know better. maybe she is worried that we will steal her baby's thunder?? But that's ridiculous!!!

Last night MIL started talking about "cats smelling the milk". Haha.. i can't help but laugh at this crap!!! At least this one is just funny... the other one is nasty.

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

OH and it wasn't "if we should go through with it" it was "if it's worth going through with it".
Sorry i like to quote people correctly and just realized I misquoted!! haha!

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

Your SIL is an asss. Ignore her. The doc office receptionist is referring to the fact that most OBs want you to wait until you have missed at least two periods, as this is the most fragile stage of a pregnancy and when the majority of miscarriages happen. Also, the OB will then usually do a sono at your 1st appt and a heartbeat can be detected. I know it's hard when you are surrounded by morons, but do your best to think positive. Congratulations and welcome to the board!!

Edit for spelling

Message edited 12/15/2009 9:54:37 AM.

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

that's awful! my SIL had to switch gyns b/c at her first appt the doc said: "you have two girls already, do you plan on keeping this one!"

insanity! even when we told people our news, a few older family members were like: "Well, the timing isn't ideal, but what can you do at this point?"

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

Posted by twinkletoes807

Your SIL is an asss. Ignore her. The doc office receptionist is referring to the fact that most OBs want you to wait until you have missed at least two periods, as this is the most fragile stage of a pregnancy and when the majority of miscarriages happen. Also, the OB will then usually do a sono at your 1st appt and a heartbeat can be detected. I know it's hard when you are surrounded by morons, but do your best to think positive. Congratulations and welcome to the board!!

Edit for spelling

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

Posted by Tilde

that's awful! my SIL had to switch gyns b/c at her first appt the doc said: "you have two girls already, do you plan on keeping this one!"

insanity! even when we told people our news, a few older family members were like: "Well, the timing isn't ideal, but what can you do at this point?"

Message edited 12/15/2009 9:58:28 AM.

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

Posted by MrsKS

Posted by Tilde

that's awful! my SIL had to switch gyns b/c at her first appt the doc said: "you have two girls already, do you plan on keeping this one!"

insanity! even when we told people our news, a few older family members were like: "Well, the timing isn't ideal, but what can you do at this point?"

INSANE!! haha!! What is with people? And WHO exactly isn't the timing ideal for? Because the ONLY people that matters in this is you and your DH.

We have been getting a lot of "its too soon", or "you dont waste any time" or "WOW that was fast"....etc. But all in all we have been together for abotu 6 years and although we just got married, we have been living together for about 3.4-4 years!! We have a strong solid relationship too. So I get that we JUST got married... but it's not like we JUST got together. I'm tired of defending the fact that we are having a baby and yes we did try for it. Though we might not have thought it would work... we tried!!

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

Posted by Tilde

Posted by MrsKS

Posted by Tilde

that's awful! my SIL had to switch gyns b/c at her first appt the doc said: "you have two girls already, do you plan on keeping this one!"

insanity! even when we told people our news, a few older family members were like: "Well, the timing isn't ideal, but what can you do at this point?"

INSANE!! haha!! What is with people? And WHO exactly isn't the timing ideal for? Because the ONLY people that matters in this is you and your DH.

We have been getting a lot of "its too soon", or "you dont waste any time" or "WOW that was fast"....etc. But all in all we have been together for abotu 6 years and although we just got married, we have been living together for about 3.4-4 years!! We have a strong solid relationship too. So I get that we JUST got married... but it's not like we JUST got together. I'm tired of defending the fact that we are having a baby and yes we did try for it. Though we might not have thought it would work... we tried!!

haha i know what you mean! DH and I will be together for TWELVE years in January. We are married for almost 2. We are in our late 20s. . and we TRIED for this baby. Okay, I didn't think it would happen so fast, but it was definitely planned and people are kind of not as supportive as I thought they would be! Honestly, I feel like they would have had more tact if I got pregnant at 15 when we had just met!

Message edited 12/15/2009 10:03:21 AM.

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

It is not you at all that was just of your SIL. Maybe she is jealous of you guys or maybe she is just socially inept. Don't let her get to you too much. My BIL said something that made me when we were going for our NT scan. He assumed that if the baby had a high chance of downs we would have an abortion. It really ****** me off. I lectured him how many babies born with downs live productive lives, and how a baby is still a baby regardless. It is like the second you get your BFP stupid crap starts coming out of peoples mouths.
As for the comment by the doctors office. Way to be insensitive. I know I also had to wait until 8 weeks to go, but they explained this was standard procedure b/c they would be able to see more by then. I don't get it I love the doctors in my practice but most of the front desk girls I would like to kick in the teeth. All but one need some type of sensitivity training. They are all just rude, and mean. If you don't like to work w/ ppl get a new job cranky pants. I would mention what was said to the doctor at your 1st appt, and let them know it upset you. They may have no clue their staff is talking to patients like this. The person may also have meant no harm, but just poor choice or words. Someone may just need to bring it to her attention.

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

Your SIL was out of line and if she was trying to make a point she didn't do it well. The 1st appointment they take blood and maybe do a sono but I don't understand what she means by her comment. It would be way to early to detect any "problems". The earliest would be maybe with the blood work they take after or if you have the CVS done around 10-12wks.

As for the doctor's office....I would be shocked too, and again she wasn't very tactful. I know that at my old OB they were a bit rude when I called with my BFP because I was sooooooooo early that anything could happen. I think it is important to know that women have m/c very early and most don't even know they were pg but think it was a hard period. The point, however, is she could have explained that better to you. My new OB saw me at 8wks and that was early for them. They prefer 10wks so they can see more of the baby and, yes, to establish if it is a viable pregnancy.

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this crap, but if I have learned only 1 thing through all of this it is that EVERYBODY has an opinion about something.....EVERYBODY.

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

That is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard .... Who says such a thing ???

If she was trying to tell you to be cautiously optomistic or something b/c it's early - OK, MAYBE, but even that - Is that SERIOUSLY your first response when someone tells you they're PG ?? -

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....

Posted by MrsB0118

It is not you at all that was just of your SIL. Maybe she is jealous of you guys or maybe she is just socially inept. Don't let her get to you too much. My BIL said something that made me when we were going for our NT scan. He assumed that if the baby had a high chance of downs we would have an abortion. It really ****** me off. I lectured him how many babies born with downs live productive lives, and how a baby is still a baby regardless. It is like the second you get your BFP stupid crap starts coming out of peoples mouths.
As for the comment by the doctors office. Way to be insensitive. I know I also had to wait until 8 weeks to go, but they explained this was standard procedure b/c they would be able to see more by then. I don't get it I love the doctors in my practice but most of the front desk girls I would like to kick in the teeth. All but one need some type of sensitivity training. They are all just rude, and mean. If you don't like to work w/ ppl get a new job cranky pants. I would mention what was said to the doctor at your 1st appt, and let them know it upset you. They may have no clue their staff is talking to patients like this. The person may also have meant no harm, but just poor choice or words. Someone may just need to bring it to her attention.

Re: Is it me or is this a rude thing to say??....