I'm really upset about something, and feel terribly guilty about it

My MIL lives out of state and is having surgery at the end of the month. it’s not life threatening, but she has many other ailments and it is definitely risky (as any surgery tends to be).

DH and I have off that week and have been looking forward to being alone together for so LONG! We both REALLY need a vacation! DH told me this morning that he wants to go see his mom that week, and then asked if I would go with him. How could I say no? Of course I said yes. But I am so depressed now. And I know how selfish I am being


DH only gets 2 weeks off from work and this would mean that he’s spending it ALL with his mom. He wants to use his last week to go there for X-mas, I am so upset!

Re: I'm really upset about something, and feel terribly guilty about it

why don't you try to plan a 3-4 day getaway in the state that your MIL lives in for just the two of you and spend the other half of the week with her?

Re: I'm really upset about something, and feel terribly guilty about it

Re: I'm really upset about something, and feel terribly guilty about it

I'd just try to steal a couple of days away with him on his week off and make the compromise.

Re: I'm really upset about something, and feel terribly guilty about it

I took care of my Dad after a stroke for many years, moving back home and taking care of his every need. Due to the demands of my situation, my brother, nor I could take anything more than a weekend away for seven years.

I know you have been looking forward to this vacation but your MIL clearly needs her son to be with her. Every patient needs an advocate for them in the hospital as nursing staff is so overburdened these days. She will probably need help once she gets home as well so I wouldn't count on a mini-trip when you get there... she might need more help than originally anticipated. This is what families really are about. She's the woman who raised your DH. I have been told that I am much more loyal to my family than most, but I would go.

If you do not have children yet there are always holidays weekends where you can get away.
I know it's hard but consider it your good deed and I'm sure your MIL will be very impressed with your love and dedication to the situation.

Re: I'm really upset about something, and feel terribly guilty about it

Aw, I know how you feel because we will be spending all holidays and vacations in NY with DH's parents. It's the least I could do. I so want to go away alone, but that time will come. He needs to adjust and misses his family.

I think it's great that you realize that you're being a bit selfish, but didn't show your DH that. He needs your support and I'm sure he's worried about his mamma and wants to be there for her. There will be many times for you two to be alone!

But I agree with the other ladies, look up spas or B&B's in the state where you're going and "steal" him for 2 nights...then go back and be with the fam. That way you're both happy.