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If your child was 'bad' at pre-school

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SLPRunner
LIF Adult

Member since 12/13

1101 total posts

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If your child was 'bad' at pre-school


My 3.5 year old DS has had behavioral problems at school since September. I'm not 100 percent what is at the root. I think some are sensory issues. Long story short- he gets frustrated easily and will hit other children, he has trouble transitioning between activities and will often say 'no.' He has a lot of trouble with body spatial awareness. Often times he will be too close to a peer and fall on them. It may look like he is pushing them, but it is because he has poor balance and poor spatial awareness. He doesn't sit for circle time. He'll fall off of his chair. He can be impulsive at times.

Here's the thing: I had him evaluated through CPSE for everything. He did qualify for PT. I really tried to push OT but his fine motor is okay. Speech he was too high. No cognitive or learning concerns. Psychological testing was high. Some attention issues were noted. However, his pre-school teacher wrote a lot regarding his behaviors when asked to fill out a teacher report. The behaviors ended up being what was discussed at the IEP meeting. I wanted some supports for the behaviors and asked for a SEIT. District thought I was a little crazy but said yes and gave 3 hours a week.

That started beginning of January- and I've seen no improvement. The SEIT thinks teacher is a little resistant to making changes or doesn't understand. He really needs more positive reinforcement and clear expectations. SEIT and district think I should get his class changed, or possibly a new school.

I spoke to the school about changing classes and they don't think it'll help. They say he still hits kids who are in the other class when they are together in after care. I'm like well no one told me this. I may look into changing schools but it's tough mid year and I need full day.

What would you do.... keep your child at the school even if you feel a change in setting might help? Switch mid year? Keep working at it. I should add that he is not perfect at home, but I'm not happy with how the pre-school addresses behavior.


Sorry this long.... I'm just really frustrated.

Posted 2/9/18 6:19 PM
 
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult

Member since 1/11

7391 total posts

Name:
Name

Re: If your child was 'bad' at pre-school

Posted by SLPRunner


My 3.5 year old DS has had behavioral problems at school since September. I'm not 100 percent what is at the root. I think some are sensory issues. Long story short- he gets frustrated easily and will hit other children, he has trouble transitioning between activities and will often say 'no.' He has a lot of trouble with body spatial awareness. Often times he will be too close to a peer and fall on them. It may look like he is pushing them, but it is because he has poor balance and poor spatial awareness. He doesn't sit for circle time. He'll fall off of his chair. He can be impulsive at times.

Here's the thing: I had him evaluated through CPSE for everything. He did qualify for PT. I really tried to push OT but his fine motor is okay. Speech he was too high. No cognitive or learning concerns. Psychological testing was high. Some attention issues were noted. However, his pre-school teacher wrote a lot regarding his behaviors when asked to fill out a teacher report. The behaviors ended up being what was discussed at the IEP meeting. I wanted some supports for the behaviors and asked for a SEIT. District thought I was a little crazy but said yes and gave 3 hours a week.

That started beginning of January- and I've seen no improvement. The SEIT thinks teacher is a little resistant to making changes or doesn't understand. He really needs more positive reinforcement and clear expectations. SEIT and district think I should get his class changed, or possibly a new school.

I spoke to the school about changing classes and they don't think it'll help. They say he still hits kids who are in the other class when they are together in after care. I'm like well no one told me this. I may look into changing schools but it's tough mid year and I need full day.

What would you do.... keep your child at the school even if you feel a change in setting might help? Switch mid year? Keep working at it. I should add that he is not perfect at home, but I'm not happy with how the pre-school addresses behavior.


Sorry this long.... I'm just really frustrated.



Personally, I would get him evaluated through your insurance for OT. I had to fight for speech through the district and the only reason I was given it is because she scored low for OT. While I was waiting for my evaluation through the district since I was getting denials I got dd private speech and OT till I finally got the district to agree to services.

If the district and the SEIT are recommending changing classes I would. You may see marked improvement if the teacher is not working with his IEP. Can the SEIT come to the after care to give assistance?

Posted 2/9/18 6:48 PM
 

MrsT809
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09

12167 total posts

Name:

If your child was 'bad' at pre-school

I wouldn't make decisions about his classroom setting based on aftercare. If the cse team supports changing classes and the seit doesn't think the teacher is following through I would definitely push for the change.

Posted 2/9/18 7:03 PM
 

w8andsee
LIF Adult

Member since 10/09

1193 total posts

Name:

Re: If your child was 'bad' at pre-school

The poor balance, not sitting for circle time, falling off the chair are all PT issues. Did he also start PT?

I would start with changing classes and if that doesn't work then change schools. Not all teachers are great fits with some kids. Your kid needs someone with patience and willingness to make changes. I have a cousin that got kicked out of a school because he was so "bad". Thankfully his mom found another school with a teacher that was patient and was willing to use positive reinforcement. He was a changed student. Still difficult at home, but as school he was overall well behaved.

good luck. sending you some hugs.Chat Icon

Posted 2/9/18 8:47 PM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

19453 total posts

Name:
L

Re: If your child was 'bad' at pre-school

I would go for an out of pocket evaluation and see what doctors have to say too. I would be concerned with the falling, inability to sit, and over all behavior problems. I think he needs a new teacher and school because he is clearly not getting what he needs from this school, or this teacher.

Posted 2/10/18 4:51 PM
 

abcdefghi
LIF Adolescent

Member since 5/13

685 total posts

Name:

If your child was 'bad' at pre-school

They gave you a SEIT for 3 hours a WEEK? What a slap in the face. They did that to shut you up. Don't expect any progress with that. I would have never agreed to that. Why didn't you speak up?

Posted 2/10/18 7:01 PM
 

ChilisWife
God Bless America

Member since 5/05

3570 total posts

Name:
A.K.

Re: If your child was 'bad' at pre-school

Sometimes a change in setting can help. My son was literally kicked out of 2 different day cares before the age of 4 because they couldn't handle him and didn't want to deal. He was hitting and biting because he just couldn't control his impulses when he got frustrated with other kids. But they really didn't seem to try to figure out what was at the root of it - they just wanted him to be calm and quiet and not bother them with what I considered normal 3 year old behavior. At his third daycare they had a totally different philosophy and my son did not phase them at all and he thrived there.

Posted 2/10/18 7:34 PM
 

autumnmoon
LIF Infant

Member since 12/16

58 total posts

Name:

Re: If your child was 'bad' at pre-school

Posted by abcdefghi

They gave you a SEIT for 3 hours a WEEK? What a slap in the face. They did that to shut you up. Don't expect any progress with that. I would have never agreed to that. Why didn't you speak up?




3 hours a week may be enough. The op didn't say how many days a week and how long he is in school. If he's 3 he could be 3 half days a week. SEIT is only there to give the teacher guidance on how to address and handle the behaviors, they don't need to be there the entire day.

Posted 2/11/18 12:17 PM
 

autumnmoon
LIF Infant

Member since 12/16

58 total posts

Name:

Re: If your child was 'bad' at pre-school

I wouldn't change schools right now, it's still very early to see much progress at this point with the SEIT. The SEIT may still be building a relationship with him. Pulling him out now could make things worse. How many days a week and how long of a day is he in school?
If you are not satisfied with the way things are going you can ask for a meeting.

Posted 2/11/18 12:21 PM
 

babyfever24
LIF Adult

Member since 1/11

3340 total posts

Name:

Re: If your child was 'bad' at pre-school

Posted by abcdefghi

They gave you a SEIT for 3 hours a WEEK? What a slap in the face. They did that to shut you up. Don't expect any progress with that. I would have never agreed to that. Why didn't you speak up?



i agree with this, I'm a an ABA teacher and SEIT and i see this all the time.....if you're not seeing progress he may be the right fit for an integrated program.......i would bring this to the district...many times gen ed pre schools teachers do not have the tools to work on behavior. What are they doing to address the issue? As a parent you can't work on him hitting other kids in the classroom from home.....the teachers should have some kind of plan in place.
def have a private OT eval through your insurance as well....not that this will address or work on the hitting but he may begin to improve in other areas and hopefully this will decrease all the negativity around him in the classroom.

Posted 2/11/18 3:01 PM
 

blu6385

Member since 5/08

8351 total posts

Name:

Re: If your child was 'bad' at pre-school

Posted by babyfever24

Posted by abcdefghi

They gave you a SEIT for 3 hours a WEEK? What a slap in the face. They did that to shut you up. Don't expect any progress with that. I would have never agreed to that. Why didn't you speak up?



i agree with this, I'm a an ABA teacher and SEIT and i see this all the time.....if you're not seeing progress he may be the right fit for an integrated program.......i would bring this to the district...many times gen ed pre schools teachers do not have the tools to work on behavior. What are they doing to address the issue? As a parent you can't work on him hitting other kids in the classroom from home.....the teachers should have some kind of plan in place.
def have a private OT eval through your insurance as well....not that this will address or work on the hitting but he may begin to improve in other areas and hopefully this will decrease all the negativity around him in the classroom.



Is 3 hours a week not the norm? My son qualified for a SIET I did not have to fight for it I didn't even know about them till they gave it to me. They only started with 2 days a week an hour a day and then increased it to 3 days a week an hour a day.


OP insist on switching classes to see if there is an improvement maybe a different teacher will be better with him.

Posted 2/12/18 9:00 AM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9508 total posts

Name:

Re: If your child was 'bad' at pre-school

I had a whole long post typed out but to make it short and sweet - yes, my son had issues similar to yours except for the hitting. They assigned him SEITs. Personally I think that he outgrew the behavoirs and would have with or without the SEIT. My daughter had worse issues, I never got her the SEIT. Guess what, she is also outgrowing the behavoiral issues. Maybe he's just a little developmentally immature compared to his peers. I know this is easier said than done, but try not to worry too much about this stuff. Your son will be fine. Or maybe he will get a diagnosis like ADHD. And even then he will still be fine. Don't drive yourself crazy. I would switch the schools - doesn't sound like this is a good fit for him. Switching schools helped my son tremendously because the people at his original school were actually complete scam artists (but that's another long story). And when my daughter switched to Kindergarten she miraculously started to outgrow these issues. I find talking to moms of older kids that have had terribly behaved preschoolers helps! My babysitter is a sweetheart - we LOVE her. She was kicked out of a carpool in Pre-K because the other moms couldn't deal with her. They are so little. Take a step back, take a deep breath and hang in there!

Posted 2/12/18 11:08 AM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9508 total posts

Name:

Re: If your child was 'bad' at pre-school

Posted by blu6385

Posted by babyfever24

Posted by abcdefghi

They gave you a SEIT for 3 hours a WEEK? What a slap in the face. They did that to shut you up. Don't expect any progress with that. I would have never agreed to that. Why didn't you speak up?



i agree with this, I'm a an ABA teacher and SEIT and i see this all the time.....if you're not seeing progress he may be the right fit for an integrated program.......i would bring this to the district...many times gen ed pre schools teachers do not have the tools to work on behavior. What are they doing to address the issue? As a parent you can't work on him hitting other kids in the classroom from home.....the teachers should have some kind of plan in place.
def have a private OT eval through your insurance as well....not that this will address or work on the hitting but he may begin to improve in other areas and hopefully this will decrease all the negativity around him in the classroom.



Is 3 hours a week not the norm? My son qualified for a SIET I did not have to fight for it I didn't even know about them till they gave it to me. They only started with 2 days a week an hour a day and then increased it to 3 days a week an hour a day.


OP insist on switching classes to see if there is an improvement maybe a different teacher will be better with him.



3 hours a week is the norm to start with a SEIT in my experience. And no offense abcdefghi but your post is so horribly condescending. OP has enough on her plate. She doesn't need you trying to shame her into thinking she hasn't advocated for her son enough. She is doing the absolute best she can with the tools and information that she has. I have been there - perhaps you haven't.

Posted 2/12/18 11:10 AM
 

SLPRunner
LIF Adult

Member since 12/13

1101 total posts

Name:

If your child was 'bad' at pre-school

Just wanted to say thanks to those who responded. I think I have advocated for DS. My district seems to be tough with CPSE services. I am in the special education field so I know the types of things that I could ask for. The district felt that conferencing with the teacher about ways to work with his behavior was good. I obviously did not. He's in daycare 7am to 4pm everyday.
The district made it clear that the SEIT was there to help the teacher. In fact, on the IEP is states that 30 min a week is supposed to be indirect treatment with the teacher. Things do seem like they are moving in a better direction. I honestly wish I could switch him now to a new school, but I haven't a full day program (I work full time) with an open 3 year old spot, that I feel would meet his needs. I almost think now he has just developed some bad habits with his current teacher/staff. His current school won't change his class as they think being in the smaller class is better for him. I said I think a different teacher may help him. We are going for a private OT evaluation next week.

He is getting PT. But only 1x a week right until I can find a provider with availabilty for 2x. It's almost impossible to find a CPSE Physical therapist it seems. And I really need someone who can travel to his pre-school. It's been hard for him to go to PT after he's been at daycare a whole day. I really don't know what else to do.

Message edited 2/16/2018 11:47:28 AM.

Posted 2/16/18 11:44 AM
 
 

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