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I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

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stayandjohn
Our life is complete

Member since 5/05

5909 total posts

Name:
Stacey

I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

DH & I have been trying for 16 months now. I had 2 m/c. My Dr told me after my second m/c to wait a few months and just try things naturally, but that she would send me for genetic testing to rule anything out. Test came back perfect.

I called to make an appt to have a consultation with her, to see if we could go to the RE.

She told me I'm jumping the gun, that I have a child already and had no problems getting him. She told me wait ANOTHER 4 months before I go to this Dr. W T F?????? Why would I want to waste more time and get more depressed month after month??

She gave me his number, but I really think I'm going to call sooner. I do really like my Dr, but this is something thats tearing me apart and I need her to be a little more pro-active.

I'm sorry I'm just venting (and crying)

Posted 1/11/08 11:50 AM
 
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!

Member since 5/05

13199 total posts

Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Go to the RE!!!!!!!

Did you have immune testing done?

This is often the cause of secondary IF

Posted 1/11/08 11:53 AM
 

stayandjohn
Our life is complete

Member since 5/05

5909 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

No I just had genetic testing done.

Posted 1/11/08 12:21 PM
 

Domino
Always My Miracle

Member since 9/05

9922 total posts

Name:

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Does your insurance require a referral? If not, I would make an appointment for RE immediately. IF is defined as TTC for 1 year. I would definetly not waste anymore time.Chat Icon

Posted 1/11/08 12:23 PM
 

stayandjohn
Our life is complete

Member since 5/05

5909 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Posted by Domino

Does your insurance require a referral? If not, I would make an appointment for RE immediately. IF is defined as TTC for 1 year. I would definetly not waste anymore time.Chat Icon



Yes it does Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I wonder if I go make the appt, then say Oh I didnt know, will the RE's office get the referral for me? Or should I just change Dr's altogether and get one that is more supportive

Posted 1/11/08 12:33 PM
 

mcl916
my two loves

Member since 10/06

5133 total posts

Name:
Megan

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Posted by stayandjohn

Posted by Domino

Does your insurance require a referral? If not, I would make an appointment for RE immediately. IF is defined as TTC for 1 year. I would definetly not waste anymore time.Chat Icon



Yes it does Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I wonder if I go make the appt, then say Oh I didnt know, will the RE's office get the referral for me? Or should I just change Dr's altogether and get one that is more supportive



Can you call your GP and ask for a referral? I can't believe you OB won't give you a referral. I would call and tell them you're coming to pick it up as you have made the appt.Chat Icon

Posted 1/11/08 12:39 PM
 

Bxgell2
Perfection

Member since 5/05

16438 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

That is RIDICULOUS. Statistics show that secondary infertility is even MORE prevalent that primary infertility. Just because you successfully conceived one child, that has absolutely no bearing on your ability now. I'm experiencing secondary infertility, and I have been told by my RE that it is VERY common, and that many women experience significant hormonal changes after pregnancy and the birth of one child, that affect their ability to conceive another.

I would go back to your OB/Gyn one last time and explain that, because this has been 16 months, your insurance will clearly approve a visit to the RE, and that while she wants you to wait, you would prefer to move straight to the RE. If she isn't supportive, I would immediately switch your practice.

Do you have a PPO for insurance? If so, you can schedule your own appointment with the RE without having to get permission from your ob/gyn. That's what I did... and we had only been trying 9 months at that point!

Posted 1/11/08 12:41 PM
 

Domino
Always My Miracle

Member since 9/05

9922 total posts

Name:

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Posted by Bxgell2


I would go back to your OB/Gyn one last time and explain that, because this has been 16 months, your insurance will clearly approve a visit to the RE, and that while she wants you to wait, you would prefer to move straight to the RE. If she isn't supportive, I would immediately switch your practice.




Chat Icon ITA

Posted 1/11/08 12:54 PM
 

hopin4baby
LIF Adolescent

Member since 4/07

759 total posts

Name:
Allison

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

I would tell your ob you want the referral now. If she gives you a problem, I would find a new doctor ASAP.

Posted 1/11/08 1:19 PM
 

Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!

Member since 5/05

20046 total posts

Name:
Gerty ®

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Go straight to the RE - 16 months is more than enough waiting time...Chat Icon

Posted 1/11/08 2:22 PM
 

Bops
My 3 wishes

Member since 12/07

13625 total posts

Name:

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Definately speak to an RE...I wasted 8 months w/ my regualr OB and ended up pg. in 3 with a real RE....Don't know how your insurance works but with mine, you just need a referral from your GP...Maybe that would be easier than asking the OB ????...Good Luck !!!!

Posted 1/11/08 2:56 PM
 

babyonthebrain
Brotherly Love!

Member since 1/08

6209 total posts

Name:
Rafaela

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Posted by stayandjohn

DH & I have been trying for 16 months now. I had 2 m/c. My Dr told me after my second m/c to wait a few months and just try things naturally, but that she would send me for genetic testing to rule anything out. Test came back perfect.

I called to make an appt to have a consultation with her, to see if we could go to the RE.

She told me I'm jumping the gun, that I have a child already and had no problems getting him. She told me wait ANOTHER 4 months before I go to this Dr. W T F?????? Why would I want to waste more time and get more depressed month after month??

She gave me his number, but I really think I'm going to call sooner. I do really like my Dr, but this is something thats tearing me apart and I need her to be a little more pro-active.

I'm sorry I'm just venting (and crying)



Don't wait! If you want to see a specialist, just do it. I knew in my heart there was something wrong with me and my Dr. was very non-challant about the whole thing! I'm glad I didn't let her get to me I would've waited even longer to discover there was a problemwith me!
BOTB

Posted 1/12/08 8:54 PM
 

mommy-of-2-angels
It's all about Sophia

Member since 9/07

1731 total posts

Name:
Laurie

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

i wouldn't wait any longer your are paying your Dr to do whats right for you and it is your right to want a second opinion even if you want to go for a consult 16 months is long enough to have to wait keep pushing for a referral

Posted 1/12/08 10:30 PM
 

MrsPornStar
Partners in crime

Member since 10/05

14656 total posts

Name:
Mama

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Posted by hopin4baby

I would tell your ob you want the referral now. If she gives you a problem, I would find a new doctor ASAP.



I completely agree. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/12/08 11:20 PM
 

stayandjohn
Our life is complete

Member since 5/05

5909 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Thanks for all the replies. Hubby informed me that I DO NOT need any referrals with this insurance (it was his companies previous insurance), so I will be calling on Monday for my appt with the RE

Thanks again ladiesChat Icon

Posted 1/13/08 9:42 AM
 

Bxgell2
Perfection

Member since 5/05

16438 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Posted by stayandjohn

Thanks for all the replies. Hubby informed me that I DO NOT need any referrals with this insurance (it was his companies previous insurance), so I will be calling on Monday for my appt with the RE

Thanks again ladiesChat Icon



Glad to hear! This is the route I took and I have absolutley NO regrets about it. Also, when you meet with your RE, I would suggest that you ask for her recommendations for a new ob/gyn. Chat Icon

Posted 1/13/08 10:01 AM
 

mcl916
my two loves

Member since 10/06

5133 total posts

Name:
Megan

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Posted by stayandjohn

Thanks for all the replies. Hubby informed me that I DO NOT need any referrals with this insurance (it was his companies previous insurance), so I will be calling on Monday for my appt with the RE

Thanks again ladiesChat Icon



That is great news!! You'll feel so much better once you have a plan and someone who is willing to do what it takes to get you pregnant. Good luckChat Icon

Posted 1/13/08 10:24 AM
 

DRMom
Two in Blue

Member since 5/05

20223 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Stacey--you may want to try Dr. Braverman in Garden City. He is part of SIRM who test more than other RE's especially for immune issues which I think may be something you want to consider...GL

Posted 1/13/08 11:11 AM
 

stayandjohn
Our life is complete

Member since 5/05

5909 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

I just got off the phone with the Dr's office. I have an appt on 1/31. I'm happy/relieved. I hope this dr can give me the answers I need.

Posted 1/14/08 11:13 AM
 

stayandjohn
Our life is complete

Member since 5/05

5909 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Posted by melijane

Stacey--you may want to try Dr. Braverman in Garden City. He is part of SIRM who test more than other RE's especially for immune issues which I think may be something you want to consider...GL



Thank Mel, I'm in Staten Island, so I am going to try a Dr out here, but if he doesnt test me for the immune issues I will definately consider Dr. Braverman Chat Icon

Posted 1/14/08 11:15 AM
 

DRMom
Two in Blue

Member since 5/05

20223 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Posted by stayandjohn

Posted by melijane

Stacey--you may want to try Dr. Braverman in Garden City. He is part of SIRM who test more than other RE's especially for immune issues which I think may be something you want to consider...GL



Thank Mel, I'm in Staten Island, so I am going to try a Dr out here, but if he doesnt test me for the immune issues I will definately consider Dr. Braverman Chat Icon



Actually there is also a Dr in Brooklyn(Kofinas, I think) Skygirl used him and apparently he is immune friendly as well. Hav eyou gotten the recurrent pregnancy loss panel? Did you ever read the Dr. Beer stuff I sent you> He talks a lot about secondary infertility/miscarriages. The problem with going to a regular RE they will probably tell you it is your eggs, you are too old, there is something wrong with ovulation blah blah blah. You really need to see someone that investigates ALL the background. You could also try SIRM in the city. They have a chat board on their website you can post your history and they will lead you in the right direction. haveababy.comChat Icon

Posted 1/14/08 12:16 PM
 

Ambersmom
Straight up nasty

Member since 5/05

7740 total posts

Name:
Sharon

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Stacy - as much as you like your doctor, I would not wait. Precious time is ticking away and you are getting further and further away from your dream. It's not up to her to define your life's milestones or accomplishments. Yes, you do have a beautiful boy but you would like to know if him being here wasn't by some miracle and that some sort of intervention may be necessary for another miracle to happen. I know for myself I would want answers and I would not want to wait. Maybe for you (and I don't know if it is or it isn't) you wanted your children closer in age, etc. I know you mentioned previously you wanted a playmate for your little guy.

You might want to keep your options open in terms of another doctor. Clearly what she feels is not inline with what you want and need. You've suffered enough loss and disappointmentChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/14/08 12:31 PM
 

stayandjohn
Our life is complete

Member since 5/05

5909 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Posted by melijane

Posted by stayandjohn

Posted by melijane

Stacey--you may want to try Dr. Braverman in Garden City. He is part of SIRM who test more than other RE's especially for immune issues which I think may be something you want to consider...GL



Thank Mel, I'm in Staten Island, so I am going to try a Dr out here, but if he doesnt test me for the immune issues I will definately consider Dr. Braverman Chat Icon



Actually there is also a Dr in Brooklyn(Kofinas, I think) Skygirl used him and apparently he is immune friendly as well. Hav eyou gotten the recurrent pregnancy loss panel? Did you ever read the Dr. Beer stuff I sent you> He talks a lot about secondary infertility/miscarriages. The problem with going to a regular RE they will probably tell you it is your eggs, you are too old, there is something wrong with ovulation blah blah blah. You really need to see someone that investigates ALL the background. You could also try SIRM in the city. They have a chat board on their website you can post your history and they will lead you in the right direction. haveababy.comChat Icon



thanks Mel, I did read the stuff you sent me. The only bloodwork my regular ob/gyn sent me for was the genetics. I didnt have any other bloodwork done, which is one of my reasons for questioning her. I will bring all the information that you have sent me up with this RE, if he doesnt answer the questions or isnt going to pursue the immune issues I will see another Dr. I have heard of Dr. Kofinas, matter of fact, the woman who did the genetics testing told me about him, but she also said that he gives unnecessary meds (I dont know what that means).

I'm just happy that I'm able to move a bit closer than I was.

Posted 1/14/08 12:43 PM
 

DRMom
Two in Blue

Member since 5/05

20223 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

Posted by stayandjohn

Posted by melijane

Posted by stayandjohn

Posted by melijane

Stacey--you may want to try Dr. Braverman in Garden City. He is part of SIRM who test more than other RE's especially for immune issues which I think may be something you want to consider...GL



Thank Mel, I'm in Staten Island, so I am going to try a Dr out here, but if he doesnt test me for the immune issues I will definately consider Dr. Braverman Chat Icon



Actually there is also a Dr in Brooklyn(Kofinas, I think) Skygirl used him and apparently he is immune friendly as well. Hav eyou gotten the recurrent pregnancy loss panel? Did you ever read the Dr. Beer stuff I sent you> He talks a lot about secondary infertility/miscarriages. The problem with going to a regular RE they will probably tell you it is your eggs, you are too old, there is something wrong with ovulation blah blah blah. You really need to see someone that investigates ALL the background. You could also try SIRM in the city. They have a chat board on their website you can post your history and they will lead you in the right direction. haveababy.comChat Icon



I have heard of Dr. Kofinas, matter of fact, the woman who did the genetics testing told me about him, but she also said that he gives unnecessary meds (I dont know what that means).

I'm just happy that I'm able to move a bit closer than I was.



THAT is exactly what I am talkinga bout. He gives "unecessary meds" like Lovenox for people that have clotting issues or prednisone for those that have immune issues.

The problem is most women with recurrent miscarriages do not want to participatre in studies where they may receive treatment or not( a double blind study) This is how traditional Drs decide if they want to treat or not. Since these women do not want to take a chance on having yet another m/c there are mopre anecdotal stories than actual research which scares Drs mostly for liability. If you can find a Dr that is willing to treat you with these methods which make perfect sense(should you need them) you are one of the lucky ones. There are women all over the world who have used thezse methods and had babies when nothing else worked. Good luckChat Icon

Posted 1/14/08 1:28 PM
 

Theresa05
Sofialiciciousssssssssssss

Member since 10/06

4891 total posts

Name:

Re: I just feel like my Dr isnt supportive of me~vent

I would call and GO

F your Dr
sending you hugs and love
xoxo

Posted 1/15/08 11:23 PM
 
 

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