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How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

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jerseypanda
Life is good.

Member since 1/07

9164 total posts

Name:
Amanda

How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

Yesterday I worked from home.
My mom was at the house watching DS because she watches him Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I had a training call I had to be on from 2:00-6:00.

I get a call on my cell phone AND home phone around 3:45 from MIL. She leaves messages on both asking me to call her back because she wants to come see DS tonight. Mind you, she lives in Queens and we are in NJ. It is 45 minutes with NO traffic (but it usually takes a little longer than that).

I did not get her messages until 6:15 after my call was finished and my mom left.

I called her back at 6:20 on her home phone and left a message that I was sorry it was so late when I got her voicemail and that it was probably not a good night to come over because Lucas has been out of sorts and by the time she got here it would almost be time for him to go to bed.

I went about my business, gave DS dinner, was going to get him ready for a bath when .....

THE DOORBELL RINGS!!! Chat Icon

I go to the front door and ask "who is it" because I was not expecting anyone (DH was not home yet). And it was my MIL! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I'm sorry, but I was so annoyed. She calls to ask if she can come over, then without even speaking to anyone decides to drive out anyway. She left at 4:00 and sat in rush hour traffic... it took her 3 hours to get to our house.

How would you react to that? I understand she misses her grandson and that she hasn't seen him in a few weeks because we've been sick. I understand that Lucas is lucky to have a grandma who would go to the ends of the earth to come see him. But she is going to see him on Sunday. I would NEVER show up to someone's house like that without speaking to them first. Why did she even bother to call me and leave me messages if she was just going to drive out anyway.

Ugh, sorry.... I am very grumpy this morning. Lucas did not sleep from 1:30 until 5:30 and her surprise visit last night did not help.

Posted 11/6/08 8:29 AM
 
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!

Member since 6/06

14437 total posts

Name:
C

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon I would probably be annoyed as well!

Posted 11/6/08 8:31 AM
 

Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it

Member since 5/05

30443 total posts

Name:
D

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

I would aslo be annoyed after you said it was NOT a good night to come outChat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 11/6/08 8:32 AM
 

sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!

Member since 10/05

20369 total posts

Name:
Jesss, duh.

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Seems like MILs just go from one extreme to the other!

I can't get my MIL to drive 15 minutes to see her grandson, I am constantly driving there.

And you can't seem to get yours out of your hair!

They must all take a class on how to become a total PITA to your future Daughter In Law.

Why is it that manners and respect just go right out the window?

You should have your DH say something. Not nasty just, "Ya know, it really wasn't a good night and we want you to see the baby at his best. Maybe in the future we can set something up in advance so you don't sit in unnecessary traffic and Lucas can really enjoy his Grandma."

Posted 11/6/08 8:37 AM
 

aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys

Member since 4/06

11397 total posts

Name:
Ali

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

Me personally, i wouldn't care. Hey if she wanted to sit in traffic for 3 hours to see him for only an hour, that's her choice. Chat Icon

I don't know. I guess because we have an open door policy, especially with family... that it wouldn't bother me.

I think it's great that your MIL is willing to do that to see her grandson.

I'm guessing that you're not a big fan of you mil???

Message edited 11/6/2008 8:39:27 AM.

Posted 11/6/08 8:38 AM
 

jerseypanda
Life is good.

Member since 1/07

9164 total posts

Name:
Amanda

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

Posted by aliwnec10

I'm guessing that you're not a big fan of you mil???



It's not that I am not a big fan. It's just that she is extremely draining. To give you an example, when she left last night, DH said to me "my ears are tired".

Does that put it in perspective a little bit? I feel like I have to mentally prepare to see her sometimes because she starts talking and does... not... stop!

Posted 11/6/08 8:42 AM
 

waterspout4
My loves

Member since 5/06

19150 total posts

Name:
Kelly

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

OOF!!!!!

DH has to deal with that!!!!!!!

Posted 11/6/08 8:45 AM
 

jerseypanda
Life is good.

Member since 1/07

9164 total posts

Name:
Amanda

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

Posted by waterspout4

OOF!!!!!

DH has to deal with that!!!!!!!



DH wasn't home yet so I sent him a text message that said "Your mom is here."

He replied with "LOL". Apparently he thought it was funny... and told me later that he laughed out loud on the train. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 11/6/08 8:53 AM
 

aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys

Member since 4/06

11397 total posts

Name:
Ali

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

Posted by jerseypanda

Posted by aliwnec10

I'm guessing that you're not a big fan of you mil???



It's not that I am not a big fan. It's just that she is extremely draining. To give you an example, when she left last night, DH said to me "my ears are tired".

Does that put it in perspective a little bit? I feel like I have to mentally prepare to see her sometimes because she starts talking and does... not... stop!



Gotcha. I know someone who is exactly like that... my aunt! Chat Icon

Yeah it's definitely one thing when you don't have to entertain the person, but when you have to stop doing what you're doing to chat... Chat Icon I feel your pain.

Posted 11/6/08 9:00 AM
 

beachgirl
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7962 total posts

Name:
sara

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

I dont know - I am a bg fan of people calling ahead and not dropping in and I can only understand after a days work and taking care of your son that you would be wiped and not need an ear wigging from your MIL. On the other hand I was thinking how nice it was that she drove all that way to see her family.

Do you think she is lonely and wanted to get out for the evening?

I guess no harm done and I would let it go.

BTW hope you get some sleep tonight.Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 11/6/08 9:13 AM
 

jerseypanda
Life is good.

Member since 1/07

9164 total posts

Name:
Amanda

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

Posted by beachgirl

Do you think she is lonely and wanted to get out for the evening?

I guess no harm done and I would let it go.

BTW hope you get some sleep tonight.Chat Icon Chat Icon



Yes, I absolutely think that she is lonely and she missed seeing her grandson.

And I know that she means well, I guess I just wasn't prepared to have to entertain her last night, especially since we have been having sleep issues with Lucas.

I guess I was just coming on this site to vent a little bit because nothing is going to be said or done to change the situation and in the grand scheme of things, it's not that bad. But I suppose sometimes we all need to vent about the little things that irritate us! Chat Icon

Posted 11/6/08 9:56 AM
 

MrsSteflily
I love chocolate

Member since 4/06

2047 total posts

Name:
Stef

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

I would be pi ssed to.

I hate when people show up without checking if it's convenient. Even if it is family.

Posted 11/6/08 10:00 AM
 

Stefanie

Member since 5/05

23599 total posts

Name:
Stefanie

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

What if you weren't home? She would have drove 3 hours in traffic for nothing.

I think it's very important for people to call before coming over...and actually speaking to the person can help too...Chat Icon Chat Icon

I would be annoyed.

Posted 11/6/08 10:08 AM
 

lovemy2boys
LIF Adult

Member since 10/07

3915 total posts

Name:

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

I would be pisssssed, and My MIL and FIL show up unannounced all the time. it's so freaking annoying. always around dinner time too Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 11/6/08 10:43 AM
 

KarenAnthony
Baby Girl Coming in May!!!

Member since 10/07

3031 total posts

Name:
Karen

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

that would REALLY annoy the crap out of me.

Posted 11/6/08 11:04 AM
 

jburke322
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/08

663 total posts

Name:
Jessica

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

I would be ****** too. Well I absolutly hate my MIL. She lives around the corner from us and makes the effort to see her 1 and only granddaughter I would say 1X every 3 months. It makes me so mad.

Posted 11/6/08 12:54 PM
 

lvdolphins
My Loves!

Member since 5/05

46292 total posts

Name:

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

I would be pizzed!
My MIL lives right next door and ALWAYS calls!

Posted 11/6/08 12:57 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

8734 total posts

Name:

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

I would be really mad.

Posted 11/6/08 1:37 PM
 

2BEANS
wow time is going fast.

Member since 9/07

16106 total posts

Name:
Tina

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

I understand beign annoyed at mil.. but at least she comes visits your ds. Mine doesnt.

Posted 11/6/08 1:49 PM
 

itsbabytime
LIF Adult

Member since 11/05

9569 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

I would be annoyed as well!

Posted 11/6/08 2:46 PM
 

mrsej
The cutest!

Member since 1/07

2495 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

OMG, this post just made my shoulders tense up to my ears. I don't have a bad relationship with my MIL but i am exhausted at the end of the day and don't really want to "entertain" anyone. I would be annoyed, especially considering that DH was not there. At the end of the day, I just want to mellow out with DS and not have to be "on". It is so nice that she loves your DS so much, but i would like if she just would have waited for your response.

Posted 11/6/08 3:58 PM
 

msangel
LIF Adolescent

Member since 12/07

618 total posts

Name:
Marta

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

Posted by krissy888

I would be pisssssed, and My MIL and FIL show up unannounced all the time. it's so freaking annoying. always around dinner time too Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



yes i deal with the same issues they always come over unanounced, my dh has a huge family so whenever they are events like weddings and christenings, i have the whole family from italy coming unanouced. i was dealing with all that as soon as i got home from the hospital. i feel your pain.

Posted 11/6/08 5:02 PM
 

johnsae
Sip.

Member since 3/06

18677 total posts

Name:

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

I would be totally annoyed too. I think it's very rude what she did, although she had good intentions.

Posted 11/6/08 5:37 PM
 

Goldi0218
My miracles!

Member since 12/05

23902 total posts

Name:
Leslie

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

I'd be pizzed. I don't like drive-by visits. Even though she was coming from Queens, it is still a drive by. I turn people away who do that. I ask that if they want to visit, that they ask a few days in advance. When you have a little one in the house and you have what seems to resemble a pattern or schedule of ANY kind, then the disruption of having a visitor (especially the kind that doesn't know when to leave) can really mess things up.

Posted 11/6/08 5:46 PM
 

march08
LIF Adolescent

Member since 7/07

531 total posts

Name:
Beccas mommy

Re: How would you react? - MIL vent of sorts...

OO yeah that would bother me big time!

Posted 11/6/08 6:52 PM
 
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