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How old is too old to give birth?

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MrsProfessor
hi

Member since 5/05

14279 total posts

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How old is too old to give birth?

Not for me to say. I have a friend who was pregnant the same time as me when I was 35 and she was 45. Guess which one of us had more complications and problems? Me. She was and is super-active and healthy and had second baby at 46. It's between a woman and her doctor.

Message edited 11/12/2012 2:58:46 PM.

Posted 11/12/12 2:57 PM
 
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A

Member since 7/05

32475 total posts

Name:
Susan

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

Posted by BaseballWidow

Posted by Blu-ize

Sometimes life isn't perfect. You can plan all day long and it just doesn't happen.

Is 61 too old, maybe, but I'm not judging.

I will most likely be a 46 year old first time mom. I'm fine with it.

I run circles around younger people with my schedule now and I'm certain I could handle it. Not alone but with my DH.

Will it be exhausting..yep..I'm ok with that.

I will be 66 when my kid is 20. I plan on being around a long time and hopefully my health will stay good. I think having a child could actually keep me feeling younger and active. I won't slow down.





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I also think that having children can age you, so having the first at an older age isn't as rough as say having the 4th or 5th when you are already run down by child rearing. And so happy to see this "update"!! Chat Icon



Thanks. I'm in such a better place now than I was 10 years ago mentally, physically and financially. It's a win/win.

We are planning on a domestic adoption. Trying to complete the paperwork now. So no, I'm not going to give birth but that is something I can live with. In fact, it's probably better in the beginning for me.

Posted 11/12/12 3:05 PM
 

jellybean78
:)

Member since 8/06

13103 total posts

Name:
Mommy

How old is too old to give birth?

Honestly I have learned in life that you can plan all you want but that doesn't mean it will happen.

Me..married at 20 wanted to have kids at 25, 27 and 29. IF threw us for a loop and ended up having my 1st 10 days shy of my 29th birthday.

Then other things through us for a loop and know I will be 34 this month and still not pregnant with #2. I hope it happens soon not so much because of MY age but because of age gap between DCs.

I don't judge anyone unless I have walked in their shoes. For me do I think 60+ is too old..yes but that doesn't mean I would judge her or God forbid be in her shoes. You just never ever know what happens in life.

Posted 11/12/12 3:10 PM
 

LittleBlueBug
Happy Mommy

Member since 9/06

4074 total posts

Name:

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

I cant judge someone, but to me it would be based on not just health but stamina. My IL's had their last child in their 40's and just wasnt able to keep up with him and were just plain exhausted by the time he became a teenager while dealing with their own health issues.

Posted 11/12/12 3:32 PM
 

SusiBee
. . . . .

Member since 3/09

8268 total posts

Name:
S

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

After a woman has gone thru menopause is too late to give birth. The body has gone thru enough already without having to reverse what nature did.

Personally, I'm 46 and too old to have children even if I could.
I'm at the stage in my life where I am looking forward to and gearing for retirement, not gearing to pay for college tuition.

I think it is selfish for that woman to have given birth at 61.
Bless her if she has the stamina and the longevity to enjoy her children's lives.

Posted 11/12/12 4:14 PM
 

CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)

Member since 5/05

19978 total posts

Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

I think a woman is too old when either her body can't support it and it may pose a threat to the mother or baby. OR when you are so old that you will be a very old senior citizen when your kid is becoming an adult and really needs you.

Posted 11/12/12 4:26 PM
 

marianne13
LIF Adolescent

Member since 6/10

887 total posts

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Re: How old is too old to give birth?

Posted by BaseballWidow

Posted by sunnyflies

I think it is ridiculous to have a child at 61. By the time that kid is 20 the mom will be 80, that's enough of a reason. Toss in a probably older dad and that poor kid might have to bury them both before he's out of college, and that would be both awful and terribly unfair to the kid.





Not for nothing but my Dad buried both of his parents when he was 17. And they were only in their 50's. Chat Icon
On a side note, my Mom watches 5 kids all day (ages 17 months-15 years) and my Dad helps out too (when he is not working as a cop) and they are both early 60's. Eveyone's situation is different and not anyone elses' business to decide who gets to have kids and when. Like PP said, those kids will be loved and cherised and I'm confident the parents are aware of thier age and will do what they need to have their children surrounded by an extended family (biological or not) to help as needed.
As a woman who struggled with infertility for years I would never deny another woman a chance to experience motherhood due to age alone.



It's sad that your father lost both his parents when he was 17..that must have been very hard for him. I realize that his parents didn't die of anything related to old age being that they were pnly in their 50s. And I realize that anything can happen to anyone at any age. But, humans in general do tend to have more ailments in their 70s/80s than in their 20s/30s/40s/50s. No one can argue that.

Posted 11/12/12 4:27 PM
 

MrsA1012
love my little girl !

Member since 9/10

5777 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

Posted by marianne13

Posted by BaseballWidow

Posted by sunnyflies

I think it is ridiculous to have a child at 61. By the time that kid is 20 the mom will be 80, that's enough of a reason. Toss in a probably older dad and that poor kid might have to bury them both before he's out of college, and that would be both awful and terribly unfair to the kid.





Not for nothing but my Dad buried both of his parents when he was 17. And they were only in their 50's. Chat Icon
On a side note, my Mom watches 5 kids all day (ages 17 months-15 years) and my Dad helps out too (when he is not working as a cop) and they are both early 60's. Eveyone's situation is different and not anyone elses' business to decide who gets to have kids and when. Like PP said, those kids will be loved and cherised and I'm confident the parents are aware of thier age and will do what they need to have their children surrounded by an extended family (biological or not) to help as needed.
As a woman who struggled with infertility for years I would never deny another woman a chance to experience motherhood due to age alone.



It's sad that your father lost both his parents when he was 17..that must have been very hard for him. I realize that his parents didn't die of anything related to old age being that they were pnly in their 50s. And I realize that anything can happen to anyone at any age. But, humans in general do tend to have more ailments in their 70s/80s than in their 20s/30s/40s/50s. No one can argue that.





Chat Icon Chat Icon We can't ignore statistics and while accidents can happen at any time there are multiple illnesses that are MUCH more likely develop at more advantaged ages. It is just a fact of life.

Posted 11/12/12 4:31 PM
 

SpiceGirl
Dream big

Member since 1/06

2486 total posts

Name:
j

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

Like everyone has said...it's a really personal thing. When you're 25, you think 35 is REALLY old. But, as those of use over over 35 know...35 is not old at all! LOL!

I used to think I'd get married at 24 and have two kids by the time I was 30...well, life didn't work out that way. I didn't get married until I was 36. So, i had my first baby when I was 38 and my 2nd 18 mos later, two months shy of my 40th bday.

Certainly not what I thought would happen...and if you had asked me when I was in my 20s about having a baby when I was almost 40...I would have said HELL NO!

Posted 11/12/12 5:08 PM
 

itsbabytime
LIF Adult

Member since 11/05

9644 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

For me, personally, I would say 36/37. There are a lot of factors that go into that but, a main one, and one that I haven't seen mentioned on this thread at all is the health of the baby. Lets face it, we all know the older you get and especially as you get past 35 the risks of having your child having something significantly wrong with them increases exponetinally. I see a lot of people saying how fit and active and healthy they are but, it is my understanding that these things really have no bearing on this issue - it is a straight up numbers thing.

That said, I am curious, with modern technology enabling a woman to have a child years later than it was ever possible before (and with eggs much older than before) - what are your feelings on this? Do "older" woman go into pregnancy accepting that they have an increased risk in this respect? Or are they relying on modern technology in this respect too - to detect a problem and eliminate it? For me, that would not be an option and, honestly, it bothers me if that is what women in this age group are doing.

Posted 11/12/12 5:18 PM
 

Celt
~~~~~~~~~~

Member since 4/08

7758 total posts

Name:
colette

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

I just want to correct a little bit of misinformation PP (didn't want to quote you because that comes up quite often).

A lazy cut & paste of the relevant issues with "advanced maternal age". It's not that chromosomal defect risk goes up exponentially when you pass 35, it's that the risk EQUALS the risk of miscarriage from the diagnostic test most commonly used to diagnose it.

Prior to 2007, the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists (ACOG) used to recommend that all women over the age of 35 be offered prenatal diagnostic testing such as amniocentesis and chorionic villi sampling. There was nothing magic about the age of 35 -- your risk didn’t suddenly shoot higher -- it was just that at the age of 35, your risk to have a baby with a chromosome problem was about 1 in 200 (or ½ of 1%) and the risk to have a miscarriage from an amniocentesis was thought to be about 1 in 200 (or ½ of 1%). So age 35 was picked as the “cutoff” for diagnostic testing because the chance to find a problem was the same as the chance to cause a problem.

Message edited 11/12/2012 5:24:34 PM.

Posted 11/12/12 5:24 PM
 

cateyemm
Twins!

Member since 7/10

8027 total posts

Name:

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

Posted by colette

I just want to correct a little bit of misinformation PP (didn't want to quote you because that comes up quite often).

A lazy cut & paste of the relevant issues with "advanced maternal age". It's not that chromosomal defect risk goes up exponentially when you pass 35, it's that the risk EQUALS the risk of miscarriage from the diagnostic test most commonly used to diagnose it.

Prior to 2007, the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists (ACOG) used to recommend that all women over the age of 35 be offered prenatal diagnostic testing such as amniocentesis and chorionic villi sampling. There was nothing magic about the age of 35 -- your risk didn’t suddenly shoot higher -- it was just that at the age of 35, your risk to have a baby with a chromosome problem was about 1 in 200 (or ½ of 1%) and the risk to have a miscarriage from an amniocentesis was thought to be about 1 in 200 (or ½ of 1%). So age 35 was picked as the “cutoff” for diagnostic testing because the chance to find a problem was the same as the chance to cause a problem.



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It's also possible that she used eggs frozen from years prior so many of those risks go down. I finally read the article and saw she gave birth at 31 weeks- not much different than many younger women!

Posted 11/12/12 6:26 PM
 

Palebride
I am an amazing bakist

Member since 5/05

13673 total posts

Name:
Lori

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

I think when you're dead, you're too old to give birth. Anything before then is up to the lady carrying the baby!

Posted 11/12/12 6:31 PM
 

PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)

Member since 7/08

19084 total posts

Name:
Jib

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

Posted by Palebride

I think when you're dead, you're too old to give birth. Anything before then is up to the lady carrying the baby!



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Posted 11/12/12 6:35 PM
 

MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!

Member since 8/10

4194 total posts

Name:
M

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

Is the question when am *I* personally too old? Or when is anyone?

If it's me I guess that will depend on whether or not we have trouble conceiving.

If it's anyone else, unless they're asking me to help raise the kid, it's none of my business!

Posted 11/12/12 6:44 PM
 

seaside
LIF Adult

Member since 6/08

3101 total posts

Name:

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

Would the people who cite to age and statistics have a problem with someone genertocally predisposed to get a disease (Altzheimers, cancer) having a baby? People with certain genetic tendencies are likey (but not certain) to be diagnosed in their 50s or 60s. If you stick to the numbers and stats, IMO, wouldn't you say that people owe it to their kids to find out their genetic predispositions and not have them if they will likely die or become incapacitated young?

My opinion is that this line of thinking is HORRIBLE--no one "owes" that to anyone. Everyone has a right to bet on herself and have babues while she's here. Chat Icon

I also think no one should be forced to undergo genetic testing or act differently because of what they find out. But that's just me.

Posted 11/12/12 7:57 PM
 

maybebaby
LIF Adult

Member since 11/05

6870 total posts

Name:
Maureen

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

Posted by itsbabytime

For me, personally, I would say 36/37. There are a lot of factors that go into that but, a main one, and one that I haven't seen mentioned on this thread at all is the health of the baby. Lets face it, we all know the older you get and especially as you get past 35 the risks of having your child having something significantly wrong with them increases exponetinally. I see a lot of people saying how fit and active and healthy they are but, it is my understanding that these things really have no bearing on this issue - it is a straight up numbers thing.

That said, I am curious, with modern technology enabling a woman to have a child years later than it was ever possible before (and with eggs much older than before) - what are your feelings on this? Do "older" woman go into pregnancy accepting that they have an increased risk in this respect? Or are they relying on modern technology in this respect too - to detect a problem and eliminate it? For me, that would not be an option and, honestly, it bothers me if that is what women in this age group are doing.



I'm sure this 61 year old had embryos created and tested before they were implanted. she had two healthy babies..and the odds are NOT in favor at that age of having healthy babies. It's just a fact. I think at the age of 45 a woman has a 1 in 12 chance of having a baby with down syndrome or other chromosomal abnormalities. I can't image what the ratio is for a woman at 61.

Posted 11/12/12 8:39 PM
 

Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!

Member since 8/05

20181 total posts

Name:

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

Posted by myboysmyheart

I think 45 is pushing it. That is my honest opinion.



I agree!

Posted 11/12/12 8:42 PM
 

Cheeks24
Living a dream

Member since 1/08

8589 total posts

Name:
Cheeks

Re: How old is too old to give birth?

Posted by PrincessP

Its not necessarily the age re: wear/tear on the body, to me its about the time you get to spend with your child. I dont think its fair for a 10 yr old to not have a mother/father.



If it's a surrogate I feel much differently.

Posted 11/12/12 11:46 PM
 
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