How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

I believe that sleeping is very important, that is when the brain and the body recover and grow.

My son is 2.5 years old and sleeps at the same time as his sister (about 9pm - too late) but he wakes up around 6 (too early for him I think)
We've compensated by giving him a 2 hour nap during the day.

BUT he started early intervention (for social/anxiety/shuts down in public) at a center. He goes from 9 to 11am everyday. Then he gets home and eats lunch and then naps (when my mom watches him) from 1 to 2, then they go to pick up my daughter from school. When my mother in law watches, he does not nap.

ANYWAY...currently his EI work is done one on one with a teacher/aid.
Today I spoke with the EI center and they think he is ready for more socialization, they have a social group from 11am to 1pm (more of a group setting rather than one on one), so he would be at the center from 9am to 1pm, but this means by the time he gets home he has 20 minutes before leaving to pick up his sister - so no nap.

Not sure what to do....napping/sleep is very important in my opinion. But socialization is important too (he still cries everyday when he goes to EI)

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

My son went into an EI program at age two- it was a full day program and they did take an hour nap. At age 3 stayed at the same school in their pre-school program, and that is when they dropped naps. He adjusted pretty fine. Is there a way you can see how the social skills group goes on a trial basis? This way you can see if dropping the nap would make him totally miserable.

The other thing you can do is put him to bed earlier. Hopefully he will be tired by the time you put him down if you are eliminating a nap from his day.

How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

My 2.5 year old rarely naps.

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

I googled it to see how much sleep a toddler should get this came up:
Sleep Chart

DS gets about 9 hours and he's 4. I guess I have to be stricter about bedtime. He gets out of bed a million times. I can't force him to sleep. He probably needs it though. I took away napping when he was almost 3. If I let him nap during the day, then he is up until midnight.

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

i do believe naps are important especially if they are not fighting them, but around 3 (generally) they drop nap. I don't think starting to skip at this is bad. Maybe if he sleeps in the car while getting your older child, it will be enough. Even 40 mins to 1 hr. My son was 2 in May, he still naps but I'm sure he will drop by 3 if not earlier. I have older ones and right now I can still get that nap in. You said with MIL he doesn't nap. Is he ok w/out it?

How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

My son is 2.5 and still takes at least a little nap every day. Your son might just fall asleep in the car as soon as his class is over, and then could whoever picks him up just stay with him in the car for that 20 min before picking up your dd? At least then he'd get a little rest and could have a late lunch. Are you able to try the class for a week or so to see how it goes and if hes really having a hard time without the nap could you drop the class?

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

At 2.5 I think you still need to nap your son, especially if he's only getting 9 hours of sleep overnight. What about hiring a babysitter to stay with him while your mom picks your daughter up from school? Or hire someone to pick your daughter up from school.

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

I do agree with you... sleep is important and does help growth, etc. I still let all my kids nap and they are older.

However, I would take this opportunity to get him on a new schedule. I would keep him up the 20 mins in between picking up his sister (which may be hard) and put him down for bed earlier. He won't even be able to stay up until 9p. Try moving his bedtime to 7:30. He may even end up getting more hours per day.

I do believe the intervention is more important than napping.

I know your wife may not want to hear this... but I would wait to shower until the kids are in bed. If it were me I would push my nightly routine back to accommodate my kids schedule . That way I can spend some time with the kids and then get them to bed earlier.

Message edited 9/14/2018 2:11:51 PM.

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

Is there anyway you can nap him when his sister comes home from school. My youngest (2.5 almost 3)is a great napper and we put him down for a nap when his older brothers get home from school. He goes down around 3 and takes about a 90 minute nap or so and then goes to bed around 830 until 7 am,

He needs his sleep he can skip a nap here and there but I want him to keep it as long as he is enjoying it.

Message edited 9/14/2018 2:30:25 PM.

How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

Hi all,

LuckyStar
>>Can you put him down earlier at night?

Unfortunately I don't think its possible.
My wife doesn't get home until around 7:30 (maybe later) and I don't get home until after 8.
She takes a shower and eats then all of a sudden its 8:30 then she has to start getting the kids ready for bed.


hidingin1516 / LiveItUp
>>re: napping in car

We live in Manhattan - There is no car, my mother walks (10 minutes) to pick up my daughter and when she gets to the school she has to go to the 5th floor to pick up my daughter (no strollers allowed in the school)


NYCGirl80
>>What about hiring a babysitter to stay with him while your mom picks your daughter up from school? Or hire someone to pick your daughter up from school.

We thought about looking into this. (hiring someone to pick up my daughter) - are there many people who would be willing to work for 30 minutes a day? (pick up at 2:30 and the 10 minute walk home)
That would really screw up their potential to get any other job since its in the middle of the day.


LInMI
>>Try moving his bedtime to 7:30

Neither mom nor I are even home at that time :(


>>I know your wife may not want to hear this... but I would wait to shower until the kids are in bed

The 4 of us live in a 1 bedroom so everyone sleeps together, but the kids refuse to go into the bedroom unless mom goes with them, so she lies down in bed with them (the 3 of them are on 1 bed) it usually takes the kids about 30 minutes to fall asleep but my wife is asleep after about 10 minutes (shes exhausted from work and the kids)


MrsO
>>Is there anyway you can nap him when his sister comes home from school.

That was a thought we had (we initially had the thought before he did EI "his nap is from 1 to 3, how will we pick up DD) and decided that its impossible for him to sleep when DD gets home. With her running around and watching tv, theres no way he would be willing to sleep.

Thanks everyone

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

Does he really need the EI group? A 2.5 year old is still so young to focus on socializing. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t do it.

If you really think it’s important, I would drop the nap slowly. Do 15 minutes at a time and let him sleep in longer. Lay in bed with him if he wakes up. He may be awake, but if you lay still and quiet, he may get the fact that this is a period of rest.

Something sounds like it has to give.

How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

DD did PT at home through EI and then we added a group PT at an agency. She honestly got more from that than the 1 on 1 bc she loved being with the other kids. I'd give it a shot. Hopefully he'll adjust and maybe start sleeping later in the morning. If it's a disaster, you can always pull him out.

How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

I think he'd fall asleep in the car so I would just drive to my daughter's school and let him nap in the car while we wait for her in the parking lot. This is what my sister did with her kids since pick up was the same time as nap time. Not ideal, but it lets him get in his nap.

I just saw a car is not an option...

Message edited 9/15/2018 6:45:38 AM.

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

What about a mother’s helper to just pick up his sister from school

So he can nap and it’s not a big expense. Just someone to bring his sister home

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

Now knowing that you dont drive to pick up your dd, so he cant sleep in the car, honestly I would skip the extra class for now. My son is the same age and is a stressed out sobbing mess without his nap. Theres still plenty of time before he starts kindergarten/preschool for him to practice socializing. At that age, kids mostly just play on their own and dont really socialize much anyway. In a few months he may be ready to drop his nap, but if you dont think he's ready yet, dont push him too hard.

How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

gina409
>>
What about a mother’s helper to just pick up his sister from school
So he can nap and it’s not a big expense. Just someone to bring his sister home
>>

That would be the optimal solution but I'm a bit clueless as to how to find someone (we don't know any other parents so referals are not possible).
I tried posting on a mothers group asking for any leads on someone who can pick up my daughter and drop her off but got no responses. The actual time is short, 10 minutes walk from apartment, go upstairs to her classroom, walk back - all in all 30 minutes.
I took a look at Care.com but have not paid the money to join yet.


Adri,
Its a NYC public school, they definitely won't go and help you. =/


LiveItUp,
Its not just socializing its the fact that in public he shuts down.
For example he talks non stop at home, but when I brought him to a psychologist for an exam (as part of EI), he spent the whole hour hiding behind me and wouldn't look at her, let alone speak with her.
She wrote in her report that he exhibts social anxiety and potential selective mutism.

Thanks everyone

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

Re: How important is napping for my son? (dilemma)

With all of your responses I would say see how it goes without the nap. If he is miserable I would drop out of the class and wait until he is a few months older. Time does make a huge difference.