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how do I make the whining stop?????

Posted By Message

Beck
LIF Adult

Member since 7/08

1212 total posts

Name:
still can't believe it's mommy

how do I make the whining stop?????

DD whines SOOOO much & I can't take itChat Icon
My husband says to ignore it & I try but then I wind up screaming my head off because she gets worse when I don't respond.
Any suggestions on how to make it stop?

Posted 1/28/14 11:45 PM
 
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luckysmom
Yes it is! Going as planned:)

Member since 6/07

3916 total posts

Name:
K

how do I make the whining stop?????

I wish I knew because I can't take it anymore either! All they do is whine lately! It's driving me nuts!!

Posted 1/29/14 7:36 AM
 

SandL
LIF Toddler

Member since 4/12

436 total posts

Name:
L

Re: how do I make the whining stop?????

Def ignore it ( I know sometimes it's easier said than done). Also try using your dd to use her normal voice since you can't understand what she is saying. I have a friend who tells her daughter, that she needs to "use normal voice and words, because the whining hurts her head, and nothing gets fix because mommy doesn't understand". Works wonders with her, but that wouldn't work for DS. So ignore him works best for us. When he is calm, I ask him to show, tell or sign to me what he wants . This has worked for us.

Posted 1/29/14 8:03 AM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

12510 total posts

Name:
Allison

how do I make the whining stop?????

You don't. It is all part of them growing up.

Posted 1/29/14 8:31 AM
 

MrsDamonSalv7319
Somewhere in Westeros

Member since 10/10

4241 total posts

Name:

Re: how do I make the whining stop?????

My DD is 2.5. I ignore it and if it continues, I calmly tell DD that I can't hear her if she's whining. That will usually get her to stop. I never give in if she's whining to get something. She has to ask nicely.

Posted 1/29/14 8:46 AM
 

wingsofsong
2 boys, 2 joys <3<3

Member since 1/09

7034 total posts

Name:
Maureen

Re: how do I make the whining stop?????

With both my boys (4 and 2), when they whine, I try to get down on their eye level and say (in a calm voice) that I can't understand them when they whine, so I need them to talk in a nice voice so I can understand. My 4yo really gets this and sometimes still whines, but snaps out of it when I remind him of this. My 2yo is definitely starting to learn. I'll say it once and if he continues to whine, I'll say something like, "You're still whining and I can't understand you. I can't help you until you talk to me nicely." Once they realize the whining gets them nowhere (doesn't get a big reaction from you, doesn't get them what they want), they usually cut it out pretty quickly. I think the key (as hard as it is) is to stay calm and to be very consistent.

Posted 1/29/14 8:52 AM
 

Annie91606
Brotherly love

Member since 12/07

1726 total posts

Name:
Anne

Re: how do I make the whining stop?????

Posted by SandL

Def ignore it ( I know sometimes it's easier said than done). Also try using your dd to use her normal voice since you can't understand what she is saying. I have a friend who tells her daughter, that she needs to "use normal voice and words, because the whining hurts her head, and nothing gets fix because mommy doesn't understand". Works wonders with her, but that wouldn't work for DS. So ignore him works best for us. When he is calm, I ask him to show, tell or sign to me what he wants . This has worked for us.



I do this. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't!Chat Icon

Toddler behaviors can be very frustrating! My sons are 6, and 3.5. They each have their phases. I try to remind myself that it will pass. Try to ignore and keep your cool. I know it is easier said than done! I have left the room on more than one occasion to stop myself from yelling. I have also picked up a sniffer and started furiously sweeping the floor to let off steam when I start to get angry at my sons. Also, the noise drowns out the whining/tantrum.

Hang in, some days are better than others!

Posted 1/29/14 9:09 AM
 

secretquestion
LIF Zygote

Member since 1/14

5 total posts

Name:

Re: how do I make the whining stop?????

when i am at my wits ends elmo goes on TV

Posted 1/29/14 9:32 AM
 

Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!

Member since 8/05

13009 total posts

Name:
Veronica

how do I make the whining stop?????

BIGGEST pet peeve!
OMG I hate hate HATE whining. Its the one thing that will absolutely set me off with no warning.

It started with "who does that at school?" and she'd stop whining and redirect her thoughts and it was over (as she mentioned so and so)

Then it was so and so gets what she wants by whining so I whine too.. well YOU aren't her and you are mine.. and *I* won't accept it. If you want to whine go to your room. In public it was "we're leaving.. NOW" and it was not a threat, its not a warning, we'd leave.. right there and then no matter what ... often leaving my hubby behind saying WTF?

Then it was ... I can't understand you when you whine.. use your words. More whining ... Then fine you get NOTHING.. if you can't use your words and tell me exactly what you want, then I can't do anything, but you need to stop. I make her take deep breaths. BREATHE, count to 10 (like two or three times) then ask again "What do you want, use your words"

In the car it means one of us would go inside and do whatever we needed while the other stayed in the car. If I stayed I ignored her completely and if it moved into tears I turned up the radio if she moved to screaming I just blared it. If it was him, she'd cry that I was mad and he'd tell her to say she was sorry and not to whine like that. Lately I've come to not accept her apologies just at face value, she has to MEAN it, explain why she did it, what she wanted and why she's sorry.

I hate whining SOOO much.

Now, I hear the beginning of it and I give her 'the look' and she stops (mostly).

We are now up against the planting of feet, I don't want to go crap and its about to drive me mad!

Posted 1/29/14 10:12 AM
 

sweetie

Member since 8/06

1668 total posts

Name:

Re: how do I make the whining stop?????

Sometimes they don't really know what the word whine means. When my son was little, I used to tell him (in an exaggerated whiny voice) to stop talking like this.. which would make him laugh but he knew what I meant. Then I would give him an example of a better way to ask for whatever it is he wanted.

You can't just tell them to stop. I believe you have to teach them the right way.. give alternatives so they CAN stop

Posted 1/29/14 10:15 AM
 

Sash
♥4Yrs Strong♥

Member since 6/08

4983 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

how do I make the whining stop?????

Earplugs! Chat Icon

I used to put him in his room or sometimes I would mimick him. He was get upset and then start laughing. I used to take pics as well lol

Posted 1/29/14 10:18 AM
 

IVFmiracle
Void... FILLED!

Member since 12/12

2570 total posts

Name:

Re: how do I make the whining stop?????

The reason why the whining gets worse when you ignore is because DD is raising the bar to see where your breaking point is. If you are going to ignore until she gets louder and then respond when it becomes too much, don't try to ignore at all. DD will just learn what level of whining gets a response and use it regularly.

If it's any consolation, there is something called an extinction burst. It is the title for what you call a behavior that gets worse before it gets better. When your DD gets louder what that really means is that ignoring the whining is actually working. it's pushing through the burst (louder or other undesirable behaviors) that's the hardest part.

Of course even if the ignoring does work, that isn't the end. You need something to replace that whining with. So after the beh. is over I also do what a pp said. I will sit with them and say, "I don't understand you when you are whining. You need to speak clearly so mom can understand you".

If you simply can not ignore through the burst, as soon as the whining starts I would start with the "speak clearly" directive (which you should always do first even if you do plan to ignore so the child hears what's expected). If the wining doesn't stop continue saying "speak clearly" until something sounds clear. Once something sounds clear repeat it so she then knows you understand and are hearing her.

Oh.. And then you have to do that every time. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Chat Icon

Message edited 1/29/2014 10:55:35 AM.

Posted 1/29/14 10:53 AM
 

M514
I'm a mommy!

Member since 8/10

2967 total posts

Name:

how do I make the whining stop?????

I hate the whining too and have been going through it with my 2.5 year old. I tell her to stop talking like a baby and to use her words like a big girl. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt, its so frustrating!

Posted 1/29/14 10:55 AM
 

saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!

Member since 5/05

16555 total posts

Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...

Re: how do I make the whining stop?????

My dd's are 6 and 3 and the whining never stops.

It's ridiculous. My older one is worse then the baby. It goes right thru me, honestly.

Posted 1/29/14 11:03 AM
 

Cindyrella
LIF Infant

Member since 8/08

311 total posts

Name:
Cindy

Re: how do I make the whining stop?????

i follow the 1-2-3 Magic on this one and do time outs - they consider whining an obnoxious behavior

I usually just tell him "stop whining" the 1st time so he knows what hes doing since hes only 2. Then next time he does it I tell him "that's 1 - get to 3 and its a time out". If he gets to 3 then I do the time out but honestly this method really does work so most times he stops at 2.

Posted 1/29/14 2:53 PM
 
 

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