High Maintenance Friends.....

I have one friend who I consider to be high maintenance.....or, at the very least, very needy. She LOVES to talk on the phone (she can go on for HOURS.....literally). She is single and really likes this guy (who I personally think is a loser, but whatever). She calls me every week and gives me every single detail of their phone conversations. This has been going on for a year (No, I'm not kidding). I told her that I will not stay on the phone longer than an hour each week because I am just not a "phone person", nor do I have the energy to sit on the phone, listening to every minute detail of her relationship with this guy, when I get home from work. (I actually really hate talking on the phone). I don't see her in person anymore since I moved down to NC.

I don't know how to tell her that I just don't want to hear it anymore. She calls me religiously every week and expects "her one hour of phone time" with me to talk about this guy. If I don't call her back, she calls me every night until I do. I don't want to hurt her feelings, because she is a geniunely nice person, but I am at the end of my rope with her. Any advice?

Re: High Maintenance Friends.....

I don't have any advice on how to get her off the phone, but maybe you can ask her to send you weekly updates over email.

That way you can process all that she's saying and give her constructive advice when you have time to write back.

You can let her know that you love to talk to her, but all this "boy talk" is getting in the way of discussing other things. Leave the boy-talk for emails, and everything else could be over the phone. If she truly has nothing else to say, then you phone conversations should get shorter and shorter!

Re: High Maintenance Friends.....

I have a friend like this , i love her so much and sheknows this is one of her bad qualities... I usually just let her rant and rave and make my bed while she is on speaker

Re: High Maintenance Friends.....

Re: High Maintenance Friends.....

Wow, this is a tough one...Erin's suggestion was a great one, but no computer! Tell her to mail you a letter

Do you have the type of relationship where you can actually talk to her about this? Maybe if you tell her that talking about this guy CONSTANTLY is making you feel like you can't talk to her about what's going on in YOUR life and that you feel like its a very one-sided relationship. Maybe if you tell her that you'd like to hear about what's going on in her life with boy wonder, but that you don't need every detail. And due to your limited time availability, you'd like to go back to also discussing everything else in her and YOUR life.

Would she go for that, do you think?

Re: High Maintenance Friends.....

I have a friend like this, too. She's toxic. The world revolves around her, she only talks about herself, and she just annoys the crap out of me.

I distanced myself from her. Finally, after not talking to her for quite a while, I can handle her in small doses.

I'd be very up front with her. Talk for 5 or 10 minutes and then "Look, I really have to go." When she demands her hour, say, "I Just don't have a solid hour to talk to you. I'm sorry. I have a million things to do and just honestly cannot be on the phone so long."

Re: High Maintenance Friends.....

Posted by leighdvm

She is the only person I know who doesn't own a computer! Lord help me!